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Dearest all, most of you probably know me already and know I came as a Catholic. I have been reading a lot of your posts and this has made me wonder this is indeed an heretical practice. I have seen many evidence. And also I have seen here a real community in spite of the arguments that I have never seen at a Catholic church.
First of all my parents were both Catholics and they were a real mess and I mean terrible, not get into details. It is incredible the amount of self-loathe they felt for themselves, for each other, for us our children. Then I tried to turn my husband to Catholicism, and he was better than when he was a dark heavy metal lol but he became very cold and apathetic. I think he started self-loathing too.
There is no way I succeed in life and my levels of self-loathe are peaking, increase that with OCD.
Today my mum scolded me for anything that goes through her mind, no matter if I did something wrong or not (mind it I am 37) she has been doing it all her whole life, since I was a very small child I mean 3 or 4. She abused me verbally for everything my father and brothers did to her. This has made my OCD go crazy too. Same with my in-laws, they are also Catholic and are a complete and absolute mess their level of sin is rocketing. My husband is OK because of some miraculous grace or perhaps because God wanted someone to help me survive at my side. God gave me my husband to help me spend another day.
Today in the heat of the discussion I tried something different, instead of answering back or trying to defend myself, I left her rant (she is incredibly cruel in the things she says to me) said nothing and instead I lowered my eyes and began to call the LORD to protect me, to not let her words touch me, protect me from the devil of her rage, repeat to me that LORD loves me and that I am a worthy person worthy of being loved and protected and respected.
This was a little miracle, her ranting gradually stopped and she is now almost normal (her personal level of normal at least)
As I was praying my husband showed to be more supportive to me, less cold and also calmer.
I know this is very personal and not biblical question but as Blue Ladybug told me Catholicism is poisonous and I actually see it as proof of how poisonous it can really be in my family. It has lead us to debt and self-destruction. My family is Catholic but not Christian at all let alone have any Christian virtues.
That's why I am taking the final decision (it was already running through my mind for days) to leave Catholicism as if it was a house on fire.
I want to be a real Christian and live life according to God and the Scriptures, because I have seen prayers have power, they saved me today from another OCD attack. And I wanted to be safe instead to lost to some kind of heresy.
How can I become a Christian? If I keep on being a Catholic it is going to kill me. My OCD is going crazy when I go to church, where I feel also harshly judged by priests and the congregation, with all that holier-than-thou attitude. It feels like drinking poison.
I want to leave Catholicism for good. Blue Ladybug already adviced me very kindly to stop adorating saints the Virgins and dead people and taking the holy communion, and have a personal relationship with God alone no priests as intermediaries (which is a relief) What should you advise me to do?
I really will thank you for your anwers for I am in a very forlorn, very scared state right now. Thank you all for your advice and God bless you.
First of all my parents were both Catholics and they were a real mess and I mean terrible, not get into details. It is incredible the amount of self-loathe they felt for themselves, for each other, for us our children. Then I tried to turn my husband to Catholicism, and he was better than when he was a dark heavy metal lol but he became very cold and apathetic. I think he started self-loathing too.
There is no way I succeed in life and my levels of self-loathe are peaking, increase that with OCD.
Today my mum scolded me for anything that goes through her mind, no matter if I did something wrong or not (mind it I am 37) she has been doing it all her whole life, since I was a very small child I mean 3 or 4. She abused me verbally for everything my father and brothers did to her. This has made my OCD go crazy too. Same with my in-laws, they are also Catholic and are a complete and absolute mess their level of sin is rocketing. My husband is OK because of some miraculous grace or perhaps because God wanted someone to help me survive at my side. God gave me my husband to help me spend another day.
Today in the heat of the discussion I tried something different, instead of answering back or trying to defend myself, I left her rant (she is incredibly cruel in the things she says to me) said nothing and instead I lowered my eyes and began to call the LORD to protect me, to not let her words touch me, protect me from the devil of her rage, repeat to me that LORD loves me and that I am a worthy person worthy of being loved and protected and respected.
This was a little miracle, her ranting gradually stopped and she is now almost normal (her personal level of normal at least)
As I was praying my husband showed to be more supportive to me, less cold and also calmer.
I know this is very personal and not biblical question but as Blue Ladybug told me Catholicism is poisonous and I actually see it as proof of how poisonous it can really be in my family. It has lead us to debt and self-destruction. My family is Catholic but not Christian at all let alone have any Christian virtues.
That's why I am taking the final decision (it was already running through my mind for days) to leave Catholicism as if it was a house on fire.
I want to be a real Christian and live life according to God and the Scriptures, because I have seen prayers have power, they saved me today from another OCD attack. And I wanted to be safe instead to lost to some kind of heresy.
How can I become a Christian? If I keep on being a Catholic it is going to kill me. My OCD is going crazy when I go to church, where I feel also harshly judged by priests and the congregation, with all that holier-than-thou attitude. It feels like drinking poison.
I want to leave Catholicism for good. Blue Ladybug already adviced me very kindly to stop adorating saints the Virgins and dead people and taking the holy communion, and have a personal relationship with God alone no priests as intermediaries (which is a relief) What should you advise me to do?
I really will thank you for your anwers for I am in a very forlorn, very scared state right now. Thank you all for your advice and God bless you.