That is okay. Perhaps they are not for you. But please do not judge too quickly those of us who grew up with guns, have target-practiced and hunted with guns, are not afraid of guns, are confident in knowing how to handle guns with out shooting anyone, etc.
The one thing you have going for you, however -- you seem to have a very healthy respect for guns and what they can do if not handled properly. If you ever get [ completely ] past the fear-factor, you will probably do fine with them. Why? Because that "healthy respect" is the beginning of 'wisdom' and the proper mindset in learning and knowing how to properly handle guns.
Having that respect is good. In fact, it is necessary. But, it must be balanced and tempered with control and confidence.
It is not "healthy" to be [ outright ] afraid of guns.
It is understandable -- you experienced something that was traumatic for you -- and, it has embedded 'scars'... However, those 'scars' can be healed and the fear can be overcome.
I believe that Desdichado's suggestion ( post #187 ) is a good one -- if you are inclined to work on getting beyond that fear. Find a friend you know and trust - who is confident in their handling of guns. Get them to teach you ( or, take a class ) about guns -- "up close and personal" -- i.e. - training that will actually let you handle some guns ( handgun, rifle, shotgun ) - unloaded, at first, of course - until you feel comfortable enough with them to then move on to actually shooting them.
In time, you should be able to overcome your fears...
I am not saying that it will make your fears vanish instantly. But, in time - and, with more handling and practice - your fears should fade away as you become more confident...
Kinda like driving a car.
What is the first thing you are told when learning how to drive a car?
"You better respect this thing -- if you are not careful, you could kill someone with it!"
Did that stop you from learning to drive a car?