When I say "bad lifestyle decisions," I am referring to things like immoral sexual behavior and alcohol and substance abuse.
I knew that. I pushed God away...not just the love...but also the commandments, the Holy Spirit, the sanctity of faith until I could not stand my life anymore. Then I tried to die...and God pulled me back...through the commandments, into the sanctity of faith with the Holy SPirit. In the meantime, I felt hated and loathed by people who seemed to condemn.
In my lifetime, I committed many wrongs. And failed to learn many things...even forgetting that I pushed God out of the picture for a reason. It was indeed absurd. I was so hurt.
I did something right once and was complimented on it. Almost immediately, I did it over again, this time the wrong way on purpose. I loathed compliments and praise...and refused anything resembling pride...at least pride in what's right.
Seeds are planted in children...small and older...weed seeds and good seeds.
Wrong choices come from decisions to water the seeds...whether good seeds or weed seeds...that is our choice in life.
I was not too wise at 5...and yet I knew God..so I was not ignorant either.
I hate this part...but to be honest, to be true...I was the immoral substance abuser.
I am in God's world today.
I chew nicotine replacement gum and eat too much sugary stuff.
Still a work in progress. God loves me...tears..and I'm very thankful. Somedays I wonder if anyone else ever will.
Other days I wonder if anyone understands anything at all.
I'm late...for church again.
Love always...-student