Dealing with our past

  • Thread starter Thread starter CallmeQ
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CallmeQ

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Been awhile since I posted, mostly because I have been busy trying to get my life back together. Started shopping for a house and that is time consuming.

Some who have read earlier posts may know alil of my story, about how I am dealing with raising 3 kids on my own after my wife abandoned us. She finally contacted someone (my parents oddly enough). She said she missed the kids, and regrets leaving them (I honestly was glad to hear that). She said they would be safe with me and my parents so she wasn't worried about them. After that though she claimed she left because I was abusive. This hurt me worse than the initial abandonment. Being accused of such horrible things broke my heart all over again.

Everyone who knows says there is nothing to worry about because the lies are obvious and won't amount to anything, but it still hurts. I was just getting stable in my mind and life, and now I feel like I am back at square one. For those that have dealt with this, how do you cope? What can you do when people slander your name like this?
 
Your scenario makes me think of the saying that "Hurt people, Hurt people". Pain does strange things to people. Some people can't deal with their own brokenness, so they cast their problems on someone else. That sounds like it may be what your ex wife is doing. Think about where the truth is in regards to how your relationship went. Then pray and give the situation to God. Ask Him to cover you and your ex wife with His Grace. Ask Him to reveal the truth to both of you. Then ask God for healing and help in forgiving her. Reach out to your Pastor for prayers. There is an organization called DivorceCare. They help with all kinds of issues related to healing your past and finding Hope in the future. God Bless!
 
CallmeQ said:
After that though she claimed she left because I was abusive. This hurt me worse than the initial abandonment. Being accused of such horrible things broke my heart all over again. Everyone who knows says there is nothing to worry about because the lies are obvious and won't amount to anything, but it still hurts.
Click to expand...

Hmm, there is another thread right now about emotional manipulation. This is no different and your EX has the law at her disposal. They don't need any evidence before they start ruining your life even if you are found to be innocent. Seek a lawyer. Being called abusive is very very dangerous for innocent men.

I've never personally dealt with this so I can't give you the advice that you are seeking. The only thing I can tell you is to pursue Christ in this matter and all others. It's the only thing that is an assured solution.
 
Hi Q,
This thread is reminding me of the Philippians verse (3.13) that says: Forgetting the past, i run straight toward the goal... So much easier to say than do.. But here, what someone else said abt the word forget.

The term “forget” means to “not regard the past as having any bearing or influence on your present spiritual outlook or behavior” (the Greek word translated here “forget”). It is not an issue of the memory functions of the brain, it is an issue of the motivation to go beyond our history and not get stuck in it.

I tend to go back to the past often too, but am learning it is more important to 'forget' the past again and again... and again, and run straight toward the goal again.
 
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