I need some help?

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I always thought not announcing it meant it was a secret..
zeroturbulence said:
See how he treats strangers when you're out in public, especially elderly people. Announcing or not announcing shouldn't really mean anything one way or the other unless they want to be totally secretive, then that might mean there's someone else.
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Thank you.....
shineyourlight said:
I basically think like a dude, so I understand a lot about them haha. I grew up with two brothers and I never really related with girls.

I personally don't know of any good books, but if I find one, I'll make sure to pass it along to ya!
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Stranger36147 said:
All you need to know is:

Men never really become emotionally mature. Or maybe I'm just speaking of myself.
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You are so humble by admitting how lacking you are. A sign of a gentleman. But people here dont like it if you generalize.

Maybe the statistics about higher number of narcissists in men than in women is true. Technically we are all narcissists, just of different levels.
 
Stranger36147 said:
All you need to know is:

Men never really become emotionally mature. Or maybe I'm just speaking of myself.
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Maybe you're thinking about this guy?
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Zi said:
I always thought not announcing it meant it was a secret..
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Well if they don't want to announce it publicly or introduce you as his girlfriend to strangers that's one thing, but if they don't want to tell anyone at all then they're probably trying to keep someone from learning about it.
 
The opposite actually. I've had no problems going out and strangers be made aware but family or friends.. forget about it. How much time does one need :rolleyes:
zeroturbulence said:
Well if they don't want to announce it publicly or introduce you as his girlfriend to strangers that's one thing, but if they don't want to tell anyone at all then they're probably trying to keep someone from learning about it.
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To clarify on my earlier post, I was only kidding around. That's why I also said "Or maybe I'm just speaking of myself."

I was only referring to myself. I don't actually feel that way about men.
 
Zi said:
The opposite actually. I've had no problems going out and strangers be made aware but family or friends.. forget about it. How much time does one need to decide?
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When someone is flirting and tries her best to steal your boyfriend then you have the right to announce it whether he likes it or not.
 
I do realize this is person specific. but what I didn't know is that some men are quiet about these things.. Learning probability by exposure? is that a thing
Zi said:
The opposite actually. I've had no problems going out and strangers be made aware but family or friends.. forget about it. How much time does one need :rolleyes:
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Zi said:
My posts on here definitely show that I am scattered to the wind.

Would be nice to have some grounding
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I understand. But if you notice the contrast of alpha and beta males you can see one of the reasons why it's difficult to generalize too much.
I, for one, do not fall into a lot of typical concepts if what a man is. I am not a fan if sports, playing or watching, except for watching MMA. And even with that I'm not heavily into it.
But I do fall into the general make attitude if 'problem solver. When a woman shares a problem with women, they are more likely to get hugs and sympathy. Tell a man and he will begin working out how to fix the problem. I am a fixer. But I have been trying to learn to express what women need instead of always trying to fix things. At least with some women.
I am not macho, loud nor do i think I'm God's gift to women. While I like nice cars, especially old muscle cars, I know little about cars. Seemingly less than most guys.
As another user posted, men tens to be logical and can compartmentalize their thoughts. I can be that way at times, but other times I can be more emotional than most guys.

It's a huge variety is all I meant. Much of the perception of men revolves around the alpha male concept, even though there are Many males that don't fit that role. It may seem that most are dogs, because the dogs are the ones that want attention. But the ones that aren't dogs are likely the ones you don't notice because they aren't trying to be noticed. So the perception becomes imbalanced.
 
Last paragraph, great point!
Ugly said:
I understand. But if you notice the contrast of alpha and beta males you can see one of the reasons why it's difficult to generalize too much.
I, for one, do not fall into a lot of typical concepts if what a man is. I am not a fan if sports, playing or watching, except for watching MMA. And even with that I'm not heavily into it.
But I do fall into the general make attitude if 'problem solver. When a woman shares a problem with women, they are more likely to get hugs and sympathy. Tell a man and he will begin working out how to fix the problem. I am a fixer. But I have been trying to learn to express what women need instead of always trying to fix things. At least with some women.
I am not macho, loud nor do i think I'm God's gift to women. While I like nice cars, especially old muscle cars, I know little about cars. Seemingly less than most guys.
As another user posted, men tens to be logical and can compartmentalize their thoughts. I can be that way at times, but other times I can be more emotional than most guys.

It's a huge variety is all I meant. Much of the perception of men revolves around the alpha male concept, even though there are Many males that don't fit that role. It may seem that most are dogs, because the dogs are the ones that want attention. But the ones that aren't dogs are likely the ones you don't notice because they aren't trying to be noticed. So the perception becomes imbalanced.
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Zi said:
I do realize this is person specific. but what I didn't know is that some men are quiet about these things.. Learning probability by exposure? is that a thing
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Well i don't really know if its a red flag or not. There's so many other things that can be red flags. Not wanting to let people know about the relationship might just be because they don't want to hear everyone else's opinion I guess.
 
Zi said:
I do realize this is person specific. but what I didn't know is that some men are quiet about these things.. Learning probability by exposure? is that a thing
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Depends on the individual. Some men like announcing things, but I imagine more men are less into making big announcements about relationships.
With my last gf I just never thought about it. I was too focused on her to, because she was so amazing, I didn't think about announcing anything. When the subject came up I wanted to, because I was so crazy about her I wanted to kind of show her off haha. She was the one less inclined to want to say anything. I was disappointed at first, but over time became aware that it was nice and made things seem more personal between us.
 
That's a good point. But why not just say that instead of letting me go on thinking some horrible reason was behind it.. But maybe they did and I wouldn't accept it
zeroturbulence said:
Well i don't really know if its a red flag or not. There's so many other things that can be red flags. Not wanting to let people know about the relationship might just be because they don't want to hear everyone else's opinion I guess.
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I realize that I have never stopped to consider any of this while thinking I was so wise and knew better. What a mess
Ugly said:
Depends on the individual. Some men like announcing things, but I imagine more men are less into making big announcements about relationships.
With my last gf I just never thought about it. I was too focused on her to, because she was so amazing, I didn't think about announcing anything. When the subject came up I wanted to, because I was so crazy about her I wanted to kind of show her off haha. She was the one less inclined to want to say anything. I was disappointed at first, but over time became aware that it was nice and made things seem more personal between us.
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I know girls who have had bad experiences with men. Sometimes the problem is people search for something themselves instead of counselling with God first and asking him to lead you to the right one. Yea there are immature guys out there, however how you present yourself also makes a big difference who you attract. It's just as important to evaluate ourselves before evaluating others.
 
This is true. and a lesson learned. Even if you meet in church (as I did)
PrynceNY said:
I know girls who have had bad experiences with men. Sometimes the problem is people search for something themselves instead of counselling with God first and asking him to lead you to the right one. Yea there are immature guys out there, however how you present yourself also makes a big difference who you attract. It's just as important to evaluate ourselves before evaluating others.
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