Advice for getting over someone...

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
M

Mickey1979

Guest
#1
#1
I dated an atheist years ago, but it ended abruptly , and in a rather ugly manner, after college. Although he and I were a great couple, I knew in my heart that it was 100% the right decision, and I honestly believed that I had put that period in my life behind me, but suddenly all these old feelings and memories have resurfaced and keep replaying in my mind. I mean, a constant replaying, like a CD that keeps skipping. I know I 'm not in love with him, but how do I keep the faith that my life is unfolding the way it is supposed to? I'm doubting so many of my decisions now, and I find it hard to enjoy the memories of my college years, because he is in so many of them. THis was years ago! I haven't had any problems with this before. Any advice out there? Thanks.
 
N

NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#2
#2
I had this problem once, So i starting eating.
it made me feel slightly better
 
S

sportygirl

Guest
#3
#3
Ummm idk I've only had one real break-up and it was recently and I still think about it on occasion (i've come to realize usually when im pmsing oddly enough...or not so odd IDK). But I would say since you said your doubting decesisions you've made and such since then. One of my friends is goign through something similar, and I know she sometimes feels like ever since she got out of that relationship years ago that she has been jinxed especially relationship wise and in some other areas to. So my best advice is prayor, pray for the thoughts to go away and for what God has planned, and thanI guess try to look to the future and not the past, and if you do think back think of the good times and remind yourself that you believe you broke up for the right reasons. I really dont know if that was any help at all! But I hope things get better
 
S

sweetnshy

Senior Member
#4
Sep 10, 2003
219
4
18
#4
I'm in the same boat, except in my situation, he's an amazing Christian guy that I would give anything to be with. It just doesn't seem like it's God's plan though. I'm still trying to get over it, so I don't really have any advice, but at least you're not alone. :p I think if I were God, I would have made it impossible to like/love someone who doesn't feel the same way.
 
Johnoble

Johnoble

Member
#5
Apr 24, 2009
76
2
6
#5
Sometimes there's just nothing you can do but let time pass and let the wounds heal slowly, painfully. Everyone that has gone thru a difficult breakup can testify to this. God calls us to be thankful in every situations and even if at first we're rebellious at the end every mature christian usually admits that God's test was for the best. At a practical level, read the word and pray, not just randomly but portions that relate to your specific case. You'll get thru. Blessings.
 
N

nutmeg88

Guest
#6
#6
Well they do say that the best way to get over some body is to get under some body XD lol I know bad joke that I'm sure I'll get angry responses from posting but it does have an element of truth to it.. Of course no I dont mean jump into another relationship or bed, cause that will prob end up hurting you again in the end, although it will temporally distract you from your current pain, if thats what you’re after, lol I kid I kid. But I have found that keeping busy, focusing on the other relationships in your life, and God will help a lot. Do things that you want to do, take a dance or art class ext and in time everything will be ok.
 
V

Vidy

Guest
#7
#7
sweetnshy said:
I'm in the same boat, except in my situation, he's an amazing Christian guy that I would give anything to be with. It just doesn't seem like it's God's plan though. I'm still trying to get over it, so I don't really have any advice, but at least you're not alone. :p I think if I were God, I would have made it impossible to like/love someone who doesn't feel the same way.
Click to expand...

Hey, can you go into more detail, here? XD My ex who dumped me 4 months ago said something VERY similar. She says I'm great and there's NOTHING wrong with me, and there was NOTHING wrong with our relationship, but she feels that it wasn't what God wanted her to do (though my talking with God has yielded the opposite result). I'm trying to get over it, and hopefully college will be full of wonderful Christian girls, but I'm still partial to her =/
 
S

sweetnshy

Senior Member
#8
Sep 10, 2003
219
4
18
#8
Vidy said:
Hey, can you go into more detail, here? XD My ex who dumped me 4 months ago said something VERY similar. She says I'm great and there's NOTHING wrong with me, and there was NOTHING wrong with our relationship, but she feels that it wasn't what God wanted her to do (though my talking with God has yielded the opposite result). I'm trying to get over it, and hopefully college will be full of wonderful Christian girls, but I'm still partial to her =/
Click to expand...
Well my situation is different. I never dated this guy. He was a friend of mine in college and I liked him for a long time, but if he felt at all the same, he didn't show it. Anyway, over the years a lot of people have encouraged me to tell him how I feel, but every time I try to do that, something happens that gets in the way, or the opportunity doesn't come up, or something. So it just feels like it isn't God's plan for me to be with him 'cause I would imagine that if this were something God wanted, He wouldn't keep slamming the doors on me.
In your situation, my guess is that she just got scared or maybe felt that things were going too fast. Also, sometimes girls have it in their head that you get a certain feeling or a certain "God moment" when you meet "The One," and if they don't have that feeling, they just assume that the guy isn't who they're meant to be with. It's possible she could have been thinking something like that.
 
V

Vidy

Guest
#9
#9
sweetnshy said:
Well my situation is different. I never dated this guy. He was a friend of mine in college and I liked him for a long time, but if he felt at all the same, he didn't show it. Anyway, over the years a lot of people have encouraged me to tell him how I feel, but every time I try to do that, something happens that gets in the way, or the opportunity doesn't come up, or something. So it just feels like it isn't God's plan for me to be with him 'cause I would imagine that if this were something God wanted, He wouldn't keep slamming the doors on me.
In your situation, my guess is that she just got scared or maybe felt that things were going too fast. Also, sometimes girls have it in their head that you get a certain feeling or a certain "God moment" when you meet "The One," and if they don't have that feeling, they just assume that the guy isn't who they're meant to be with. It's possible she could have been thinking something like that.
Click to expand...
Yep. It's what I'm worried about, because she is an avid believer in "The One" while I am not. She believes it's an issue where she is giving God total control in the situation, while I'm putting the power in man's hands. I believe God, in His power, PUT the power inn our hands to make a wise decision on stuff like that, kinda how God put Adam in a garden and said "Ok, DON'T eat this fruit, take anything else." He didn't say "Adam, go eat cucumbers, NAO#@$!"

But yeah.... I'm going to "move on," but stay completely open to her. It's weird to explain, but basically, I'm gonna go ahead and keep dating other people, and not let this situation get in the way of st0ffs, and maybe pursue it in a coupla years if her mindset of stuff changes, and until then I'll TRY to keep a close friendship =P


As for your situation, that stinks =( I don't recall ever feeling so intensely for someone I wasn't with yet, but I'm sure it's very similar to this feeling of loss I have right now. But really, from what you described it doesn't seem totally hopeless as far as sharing your feelings goes. Sure, it may be hard to get an opportunity, but if you keep trying then eventually SOMETHING will come up lol. It's a matter of confidence and persistence =P God closing doors may be some sort of trial, and not a direct "Don't pursue this." But I can't talk here, I'm not the one experiencing all of this. It's up to your discretion I suppose =)
 
D

DABEARS85

Guest
#10
#10
Vidy... I just want to say... you are only 17. The person you grow up to be at the age of 25 will be so drastically different than who you are now, that you are doing yourself a favor by not staying with this girl. If it is meant to be, then it will be when you are older, not now. If this girl REALLY was the "one" that you are supposed to be with, then you will only work out in the long run by not dating at this point. You are far and away too young to really be able to handle such a thing. People my age can't even do it, and at 17... no chance. It doesn't matter how mature you are, and I'm pretty sure you are from what I've seen. Overall, you have to let her grow up, along with yourself, and if things are meant to work out, they will. I know that isn't an answer you exactly want to hear for the time being, but it is the right one. You have far too much growing up to do, and far too much soul searching as to who you really are to be thinking about a girl who is the "one" type of thing. Also, you are right in that there is no perfect person. God is the "one" and everyone else is just number two.
 
N

NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#11
#11
DABEARS85 said:
Vidy... I just want to say... you are only 17. The person you grow up to be at the age of 25 will be so drastically different than who you are now, that you are doing yourself a favor by not staying with this girl. If it is meant to be, then it will be when you are older, not now. If this girl REALLY was the "one" that you are supposed to be with, then you will only work out in the long run by not dating at this point. You are far and away too young to really be able to handle such a thing. People my age can't even do it, and at 17... no chance. It doesn't matter how mature you are, and I'm pretty sure you are from what I've seen. Overall, you have to let her grow up, along with yourself, and if things are meant to work out, they will. I know that isn't an answer you exactly want to hear for the time being, but it is the right one. You have far too much growing up to do, and far too much soul searching as to who you really are to be thinking about a girl who is the "one" type of thing. Also, you are right in that there is no perfect person. God is the "one" and everyone else is just number two.
Click to expand...

now what advice are you going to give yourself for getting over me?? ;)
 
N

NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#17
#17
DABEARS85 said:
Is Pitty the same thing as Pity in Holly World?
Click to expand...
how embarassing, well could have been worse, i could have said something like, you learn knew things everyday ;)
 
D

DABEARS85

Guest
#18
#18
NodMyHeadLikeYeah said:
how embarassing, well could have been worse, i could have said something like, you learn knew things everyday ;)
Click to expand...
Very true, but my mistake was a play on words rather than an actual mistake! See, I said Knew instead of New to show that deep down, you already knew you wanted me (as my shirt stated in the picture), instead of just finding out. :D

Oh yes, I can bs very well too! wooohooo
 
N

NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#19
#19
DABEARS85 said:
Very true, but my mistake was a play on words rather than an actual mistake! See, I said Knew instead of New to show that deep down, you already knew you wanted me (as my shirt stated in the picture), instead of just finding out. :D

Oh yes, I can bs very well too! wooohooo
Click to expand...


Dear Chris,

You dont have to type so many words to say, i dont know the difference between knew and new.
I will get you a tutor

From
Holly
 
D

DABEARS85

Guest
#20
#20
NodMyHeadLikeYeah said:
Dear Chris,

You dont have to type so many words to say, i dont know the difference between knew and new.
I will get you a tutor

From
Holly
Click to expand...
You just want to be my tutor so you can have "study" dates with me. I see through your little game Holly!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.