Hey, want to go out? Well I don't!

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Innerfire89

Innerfire89

Senior Member
Aug 23, 2017
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Hi everyone.
How long after meeting someone do you consider dating them? And does going out on a date really make that much of a difference?

To me it would seem like it's better to make friends with the opposite sex and hangout without the express purpose of being boy friend and girl friend, or is what dating is anyway? I don't know. Lol.

What are your personal opinions?
 
It's fluid. Different personalities and experiences.
Tough to make some hard and fast rules.
No sex is s gimme, and being friends before committing to marriage makes sense,
As far as when to arrange a first date, there are a lot of variables.
I would not even try to pigeon hole it. Who cares what ones calls it? A date, a meetup, a common interest like a hobby, a co worker sh your doing a project with, a class mate your studying with, bible study, etc.
In fact in some instances a "official first date" may put undue pressure or raise unreasonable expectations.
 
For me, next time I'd have to think it would have a good chance of going somewhere. I've dated enough and gave too many years to men who sat on them..

Get the goals, non negotiable, preference conversation done.. Take it from there..
 
Innerfire89 said:
Hi everyone.
How long after meeting someone do you consider dating them? And does going out on a date really make that much of a difference?

To me it would seem like it's better to make friends with the opposite sex and hangout without the express purpose of being boy friend and girl friend, or is what dating is anyway? I don't know. Lol.

What are your personal opinions?
Click to expand...

Well I think you've defined the problem quite well, as a society we no longer have clear definitions of what is one type of relationship and when it crosses the line from friendship to dating. The concept I seem to get stuck on is how would you go about telling a good friend that you want to be more than friends and what additional roles and responsibilities are expected in that. So I'm single and nice to most everyone (at least at first) and just kind of assume that romance is something that happens to other people.
 
I do alright meeting women if it's understood that it's never going to be more than platonic. While most women I've met balk at the idea of a non-gay man being friends with a woman, I've had some great female friends over the years. Where it gets dicey...to the point where I just avoid it altogether, is when meetings are more of a "hey, how YOU doin'?" type of situation. I never know what to say...because I'm never the one to initiate those conversations.

Any relationship I've had was a friendship that she and I both messed up by taking it too far. We should have just stayed friends.
 
cinder said:
Well I think you've defined the problem quite well, as a society we no longer have clear definitions of what is one type of relationship and when it crosses the line from friendship to dating. The concept I seem to get stuck on is how would you go about telling a good friend that you want to be more than friends and what additional roles and responsibilities are expected in that. So I'm single and nice to most everyone (at least at first) and just kind of assume that romance is something that happens to other people.
Click to expand...

Yeah, that's a predicament. I guess one could look for singnals from their friend and weigh out the chance for success from there. Or maybe consider that the relationship is already defined as platonic because if there was really something between the two it would have already come to fruition.
One could just ask their questions about marriage without telling them that they're interested in them.
 
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