Poems, thoughts, songs

[Galatea]

no offense but what does this have to do with what I wrote? Do you think I wrote this to you? Is it relate-able to your situation or something?

I wrote it for a man.
I am the type of woman who was taught to take on both roles to care depend on myself, I was hurt so much I don't trust men..
I didn't need a man to save me, I didn't need anyone...because I am insecure, and neurotic at times...I admit.
Maybe it's wrong and emasculating for a woman to do this. To write and romance a man. Maybe I over did it and pushed him away. I never gave him the chance to be that for me.

Either way. I just need my own explanation of why things happened, ...and that's as good as any for me.
Maybe it's just closure...
my heart is broken, and this is all the closure I am going to get..

I have to move on.

I am very afraid that anything I say to you may be misconstrued. I just want to conjecture that perhaps YOU think he was looking for perfect love, when he wasn’t. Perhaps he just wants your imperfect love.

 

[Galatea]

You stated "I don't think anyone expects a person to love like God".
I said the opposite. That that is exactly what people do, unknowingly.
Now you say that we're saying the same thing. But I disagrees with what you said, so I'm lost.

I think her line is (don't know her specific situation, just meaning generalized) is accurate. And romance is often the most obvious, and common, example. So many seem to marry thinking that everything will be all better. That this person will be their happiness. Believing that the love they crave is Eros not realizing it's actually Agape that they seek.
But since human love and eros love cannot replace Agape, imperfect people keep searching, in other imperfect people, for perfect love. Perhaps that is what this man was doing?

I do agree, though, that we have to seek God for perfect love and accept that no person in earth can give it to us. Not can we give it to another. But until people find it in God they will continue placing others on pedestals whenever they believe they have found it in someone.

I think you are both oversimplifying the nature of love. I honestly don’t think anyone REALLY thinks that a flawed human being can love like God. I mean, honestly, we find out pretty quickly in the home that people are imperfect and will let you down, every time. Even the best mother and father in the world sometimes let their kids down. I don’t think people are so silly as to think others are perfect.

The part that I agree with you is that I agree that people stumble and bumble when in love and mistakes are made, harsh words said, things are misunderstood, love is doubted. This doesn’t mean it should be thrown away.

 

[Ugly]

I think you are both oversimplifying the nature of love. I honestly don’t think anyone REALLY thinks that a flawed human being can love like God. I mean, honestly, we find out pretty quickly in the home that people are imperfect and will let you down, every time. Even the best mother and father in the world sometimes let their kids down. I don’t think people are so silly as to think others are perfect.

The part that I agree with you is that I agree that people stumble and bumble when in love and mistakes are made, harsh words said, things are misunderstood, love is doubted. This doesn’t mean it should be thrown away.

And I believe you are underestimating people's need for love and acceptance. It is something ingrained into people from the separation we have from God. People spend their lives seeking to fill a void left by that separation. Different people look in different locations, but love is one.
You are suggesting all people think rationally about the subject, when humans are infamous for their irrational thinking and unrealistic expectations and desperation. Desperation alone causes all sorts of irrational behaviors. I don't see humanity as being rational. It doesn't take simplifying love to look around and see all the ways the world desperately seeks to fill that emptiness. Consider women that stay in marriages where they are beat on a regular basis, yet won't leave. Because they are so desperate for acceptance and a hope of change they stay. Irrational about love and a fundamental misunderstanding of what love is
That with so little knowledge of who I am, or the OP, to make an accusation of us oversimplifying love is quite offensive. And a disappointment such an accusation would come from you.

 

[Katri]

You stated "I don't think anyone expects a person to love like God".
I said the opposite. That that is exactly what people do, unknowingly.
Now you say that we're saying the same thing. But I disagrees with what you said, so I'm lost.

I think her line is (don't know her specific situation, just meaning generalized) is accurate. And romance is often the most obvious, and common, example. So many seem to marry thinking that everything will be all better. That this person will be their happiness. Believing that the love they crave is Eros not realizing it's actually Agape that they seek.
But since human love and eros love cannot replace Agape, imperfect people keep searching, in other imperfect people, for perfect love. Perhaps that is what this man was doing?

I do agree, though, that we have to seek God for perfect love and accept that no person in earth can give it to us. Not can we give it to another. But until people find it in God they will continue placing others on pedestals whenever they believe they have found it in someone.

Yeah. This is what I mean.. Although I maybe the guilty one for seeking out the equal amount of love I was giving and wasn't getting. Which I believe everyone gives a certain amount of love out to others that they are able. Although my love wasn't perfect I got frustrated, depressed, and angry most of the time. I'm probably more guilty of not seeking God out more to get me through things. I'm guilty of asking for more than they could give.

 

[Katri]

I am very afraid that anything I say to you may be misconstrued. I just want to conjecture that perhaps YOU think he was looking for perfect love, when he wasn’t. Perhaps he just wants your imperfect love.

Oh okay. Well I just wanted to make sure things weren't going down that road.. >...> *cough*

If you were in my situation or you were in my shoes you'd understand this better. I'm not saying he didn't love me. I believe he did or does. It's just circumstances and bad timing. I'm saying there are things that only God can handle and if we try to handle it ourselves then it becomes a disaster most of the time.

I trust God when he says no, wait or hold on, because he saves me from the most dangerous situations. He give me wisdom and strength, even to love him for who he is and see all the good things in him. I need God's wisdom and his strength at all times, I seek it. It's what I need.

I'm sorry but I believe that Ugly has a point.

 

[Katri]

I think you are both oversimplifying the nature of love. I honestly don’t think anyone REALLY thinks that a flawed human being can love like God. I mean, honestly, we find out pretty quickly in the home that people are imperfect and will let you down, every time. Even the best mother and father in the world sometimes let their kids down. I don’t think people are so silly as to think others are perfect.

The part that I agree with you is that I agree that people stumble and bumble when in love and mistakes are made, harsh words said, things are misunderstood, love is doubted. This doesn’t mean it should be thrown away.

Galatea
Let me share with you a theoretical scenario and you can be the judge:

There are two men courting a woman...

The 1st man is the man is a well known artist in a neighboring town a hundred miles away, he was a painter who was skillful at painting the best paintings. she first fell in love with this man, they were so deep and intimate and happy together. The only thing was that this man told the woman that they should keep their love a secret and hide it away because he didn't want his friends or fans knowing something so scandalous, maybe it would be embarrassing or he was afraid he would lose his great status if he were with her. When they were together in secret they seemed pretty happy, but alone she felt sad, miserable and heartbroken, frustrated and angry. She cried a lot out of loneliness because they were far a part and he didn't want to risk anything to be with her.

During his art showings of his paintings people would come far and wide to see, and they would pay. She was no exception she would spend her own money just to see him and travel a hundred miles. She had to prove that she loved him, so that he could trust her and earn the right to have his love.

She waited years for him because she loved him, and he told her to wait for him, until the day she realized she waited too long and could no longer have children because she got past the age that you could. This becomes undesirable for the artist who desired children and someone who made him look good. He loved the woman but only in secret. When she would talk to him he pretended he didn't know her, or that she was nobody to him. He was ashamed of her,
...but the intimate part of their relationship was why he kept her around, even though it pretty much destroyed her life and tore her apart.

He said the only way they could be together is if she ran away and left her friends and family behind for him so they could be together secretly while his life was still intact.

The 2nd man is a man who lives in her town, who was poor shop owner, but attractive and romantic. She had no relationship with this man but this man was in love with this woman. He would talk to her daily and tried to befriend her even though she was broken from the first guy her heart was with. He would write her songs, and bring her the best looking roses and leave them at her doorstep. He would invite her to his house and to meet his friends to show her off even though they weren't dating. He would invite her to dance with him at several dances to romantic songs. This man would throw "princess" themed parties in her honor in front of her friends and family. This man had loved her so much he didn't care about her past or that she couldn't have children. He just knew he wanted to spend his life with her.

-end theoretical scenario-

Do you think this woman would be throwing love away still if she let go of the first man and gave the second man a chance to be with her?

 

[Galatea]

Galatea
Let me share with you a theoretical scenario and you can be the judge:

There are two men courting a woman...

The 1st man is the man is a well known artist in a neighboring town a hundred miles away, he was a painter who was skillful at painting the best paintings. she first fell in love with this man, they were so deep and intimate and happy together. The only thing was that this man told the woman that they should keep their love a secret and hide it away because he didn't want his friends or fans knowing something so scandalous, maybe it would be embarrassing or he was afraid he would lose his great status if he were with her. When they were together in secret they seemed pretty happy, but alone she felt sad, miserable and heartbroken, frustrated and angry. She cried a lot out of loneliness because they were far a part and he didn't want to risk anything to be with her.

During his art showings of his paintings people would come far and wide to see, and they would pay. She was no exception she would spend her own money just to see him and travel a hundred miles. She had to prove that she loved him, so that he could trust her and earn the right to have his love.

She waited years for him because she loved him, and he told her to wait for him, until the day she realized she waited too long and could no longer have children because she got past the age that you could. This becomes undesirable for the artist who desired children and someone who made him look good. He loved the woman but only in secret. When she would talk to him he pretended he didn't know her, or that she was nobody to him. He was ashamed of her,
...but the intimate part of their relationship was why he kept her around, even though it pretty much destroyed her life and tore her apart.

He said the only way they could be together is if she ran away and left her friends and family behind for him so they could be together secretly while his life was still intact.

The 2nd man is a man who lives in her town, who was poor shop owner, but attractive and romantic. She had no relationship with this man but this man was in love with this woman. He would talk to her daily and tried to befriend her even though she was broken from the first guy her heart was with. He would write her songs, and bring her the best looking roses and leave them at her doorstep. He would invite her to his house and to meet his friends to show her off even though they weren't dating. He would invite her to dance with him at several dances to romantic songs. This man would throw "princess" themed parties in her honor in front of her friends and family. This man had loved her so much he didn't care about her past or that she couldn't have children. He just knew he wanted to spend his life with her.

-end theoretical scenario-

Do you think this woman would be throwing love away still if she let go of the first man and gave the second man a chance to be with her?

I don’t know. I think she should love the man she wants to love. The second man did a lot for her, but in the scenario, you did not say that they were intimate (I mean intimate in a soul sense). The intimacy with the first man is worth more than all the things the second man can do for her. Why didn’t she run away with him?

 

[Katri]

I don’t know. I think she should love the man she wants to love. The second man did a lot for her, but in the scenario, you did not say that they were intimate (I mean intimate in a soul sense). The intimacy with the first man is worth more than all the things the second man can do for her. Why didn’t she run away with him?

I have this feeling you did not read the theoretical scenario but to humor you since you are so determined to shut me down.
I will kick you the epilogue of her running away with the first man..

Theoretical epilogue continues:

So, since she does not know the 2nd man very well she turns his love down. She says to her parents, friends and family "Forget ya'll!" (people she loves with everything she has, they are pretty much everything to her)..

and saves all her money, and runs away to be with the first man, the artist...

Well here are a few things that might happen:

1. She walks up to him, and says: "I gave everything up to be with you. I love you." he looks at her and laughs, and grabs a beautiful slender young woman with huge boobs and walks away. She has spent all her money, pretty much abandoned her family and friends, denied a man who would have loved her. She has no one and no where to go. Humiliated she has to find a new job, earns her way back home to her family (who's heart's she just broke) turns into an old woman and dies alone of a broken heart. This is probably the more realistic.

2. This would be a 1 in a million, rare thing that would probably never happen statistically, I mean if you weren't looking at it realistically...
She walks up to the artist, and says "I have given up everything to be here with you. I love you." he says, "Me too!" and they run off and get married, he suddenly decides to change and become brave and they end up with a hard life together but at least they are together.
---

People don't change...especially for another person. I wish that were true. If the person isn't trying anymore, isn't talking, cuts you off, then maybe they don't want to be together anymore..
What would running away accomplish then..? Who is she running to anymore?

 

[Galatea]

I have this feeling you did not read the theoretical scenario but to humor you since you are so determined to shut me down.
I will kick you the epilogue of her running away with the first man..

Theoretical epilogue continues:

So, since she does not know the 2nd man very well she turns his love down. She says to her parents, friends and family "Forget ya'll!" (people she loves with everything she has, they are pretty much everything to her)..

and saves all her money, and runs away to be with the first man, the artist...

Well here are a few things that might happen:

1. She walks up to him, and says: "I gave everything up to be with you. I love you." he looks at her and laughs, and grabs a beautiful slender young woman with huge boobs and walks away. She has spent all her money, pretty much abandoned her family and friends, denied a man who would have loved her. She has no one and no where to go. Humiliated she has to find a new job, earns her way back home to her family (who's heart's she just broke) turns into an old woman and dies alone of a broken heart. This is probably the more realistic.

2. This would be a 1 in a million, rare thing that would probably never happen statistically, I mean if you weren't looking at it realistically...
She walks up to the artist, and says "I have given up everything to be here with you. I love you." he says, "Me too!" and they run off and get married, he suddenly decides to change and become brave and they end up with a hard life together but at least they are together.
---

People don't change...especially for another person. I wish that were true. If the person isn't trying anymore, isn't talking, cuts you off, then maybe they don't want to be together anymore..
What would running away accomplish then..? Who is she running to anymore?

I did read the scenario, twice. I don’t want to shut you down, or be contrary for contrary’s sake. I just told you my opinion. I think intimacy is more important than things. If he asked her to run away with him, why would he not want her when she came to him? That doesn’t compute.

Plus, the million to one chances are worth the risk.

I guess it is a matter of loving whomever you wish to love. If she wants to love the first man, she will. If she wants to love the second man, she will. There is not really much I can say.

 

[Katri]

I did read the scenario, twice. I don’t want to shut you down, or be contrary for contrary’s sake. I just told you my opinion. I think intimacy is more important than things. If he asked her to run away with him, why would he not want her when she came to him? That doesn’t compute.

Plus, the million to one chances are worth the risk.

I guess it is a matter of loving whomever you wish to love. If she wants to love the first man, she will. If she wants to love the second man, she will. There is not really much I can say.

Although this is merely hypothetical or theoretical, I still appreciate your input. It's very interesting and gives me a lot to think about.

 

[Galatea]

Although this is merely hypothetical or theoretical, I still appreciate your input. It's very interesting and gives me a lot to think about.

You are welcome. I don’t think it is much use trying to tell people who to love. The heart wants what the heart wants, after all. The Heloise and Abelard story illustrates that, pretty well.

 

[Katri]

[video=youtube;OR6RZX4WVIk]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OR6RZX4WVIk[/video]

God Help Me
Lyrics by Plumb

There is a wrestling in my heart and my mind
A disturbance and a tension I cannot seem to drive
And if I'm honest, there's quite a bit of fear
To sit here in this silence and really hear You
What will you ask of me?
Will I listen to your voice when you speak?

Help me to move
Help me to see
Help me to do whatever you would ask of me
Help me to go
(Or) God help me to stay
I'm feeling so alone here
And I know that You're faithful But I can barely breathe
God help me

Sometimes things, they are black and white
But sometimes they are not and it leaves us torn inside
And in the middle we are left to wonder
Who we are, what You want and where we're going
Oh such a mystery
I don't always understand
But I believe

Help me to move
Help me to see
Help me to do whatever you would ask of me
Help me to go
(Or) God help me to stay
I'm feeling so alone here
And I know that You're faithful But I can barely breathe
God help me

I don't know the future
It's one day at a time
But I know I'll be okay with Your Hand holding mine
So take all my resistance
Oh God I need Your grace
One step and then the other Show me the way
Show me the way

Help me to move
Help me to see
Help me to do whatever you would ask of me
Help me to go
(Or) God help me to stay
I'm feeling so alone here
And I know that You're faithful But I can barely breathe
God help me​

 

[Katri]

You are welcome. I don’t think it is much use trying to tell people who to love. The heart wants what the heart wants, after all. The Heloise and Abelard story illustrates that, pretty well.

My heart wants what it wants, love's who it loves, it's just the fear of being rejected or unrequited. Most of the time we will settle with what's easiest, safer, and the most comfortable, especially if that is the life we have always known...
People tell me what's best for me all the time, who is right for me, but they never really asked me what I want. If I tell them, then they tell me I am wrong. I go along with it because I trust their judgement because they care about me and know what's best, but I'm not happy, because it's not what I want. My heart wants to be with someone where our hearts and souls connect and become intimate. ..I love that person, I love him.

I'm just afraid of reaching my hand out and no one being there to receive it.

I never heard of this story, I like it. I can relate. Thank you for sharing.

 

[Katri]

[video=youtube;Fv4d2s_weh8]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fv4d2s_weh8[/video]

It's the End of the World as we know it
lyrics by R.E.M.


...
It's the end of the world as we know it
It's the end of the world as we know it
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine
...​

 

[Katri]

[video=youtube;9PadlIfya2o]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9PadlIfya2o[/video]

What If I Stumble
Lyrics by DC Talk

...

Father please forgive me for I can not compose
The fear that lives within me
Or the rate at which it grows
If struggle has a purpose
On the narrow road you've carved
Why do I dread my trespasses will leave a deadly scar?


Do they see the fear in my eyes?
Are they so revealing?
This time I cannot disguise
All the doubt I'm feeling


So, What if I stumble, what if I fall?
What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?

Will the love continue when my walk becomes a crawl?
What if I stumble, and what if I fall?
and how you gonna help me out now?

Everyone's got to crawl when you know that
You're up against a wall, it's about to fall
Everyone's got to crawl when you know that


I hear You whispering my name,
You say
"My love for You will never change."
never change.

What if I stumble?
What if I fall?
What if I lose my step
and I make fools of you all,

will the love continue
When my walk becomes a crawl?

What if I stumble?
What if I fall?
What if I lose my step
and I make fools of us all?

will the love continue
When my walk becomes a crawl?
What I stumble?
What if I fall?

...
​

 

[1ofthem]

Sorry ya’ll, this ain’t none of my business…But still got to throw my opinion out here for some odd reason.

It’s plain to see that dude A or 1 or whatever you want to call him, is not in love with the girl. There is no real intimacy…It’s a one sided relationship. If someone loves you they are not going to be embarrassed of you and only take from you and never give to you.

We know Jesus is true love, but he even says that if you deny me before men I will deny you before my father.

Anyone that loves you is going to show it. They ain’t going to make you their dirty little secret.

 

[Katri]

Sorry ya’ll, this ain’t none of my business…But still got to throw my opinion out here for some odd reason.

It’s plain to see that dude A or 1 or whatever you want to call him, is not in love with the girl. There is no real intimacy…It’s a one sided relationship. If someone loves you they are not going to be embarrassed of you and only take from you and never give to you.

We know Jesus is true love, but he even says that if you deny me before men I will deny you before my father.

Anyone that loves you is going to show it. They ain’t going to make you their dirty little secret.

Actually, I don't ask people here for advice, I just pour my heart out, they just feel the need to give it for some odd reason, oh maybe because they like telling me what to do and how to live my life...

You're only seeing the picture from my side of the story, and most of it stems from impatience, frustration, and bitterness.
There is a lot of intimacy going on, there is also love... I'm not some innocent pure chaste nun who I might make myself out to be.

I'm not new to Christianity, I wasn't born yesterday. I know the word, I've seen God, and I've heard his voice.
I'm not Jesus, I believe in him, he has my heart first. Which is why I posted the song "God Help me" only God knows what I am going through.

 

[Katri]

What's the worst that could happen, I get rejected.
then Move on, at least I'll know...and if you don't respond in kind, I know i will survive.

[video=youtube;ogVePMLJSnk]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ogVePMLJSnk[/video]

Give me a sign
Lyrics by Jem Warren

I, I like you
And I thought I sensed a vibe
You just might like me too.
But I'm not entirely convinced
That this feeling that I feel
Is just not clumsy arrogance.

So I'm still waiting for a signal that could validate
An indicator proving you reciprocate.
This sentiment which must be written all over my face.
So give me a sign; won't you give me a sign?
Give me a sign; won't you give me a sign?
Give me a sign?

Now ain't nothin' like before,
Cause now the ball is in your court,
You now know what I'm looking for.
I don't know how much longer I can suffer through this hell
Play this game of show and tell
While make believing all is well.

So I'm still waiting for a signal that could validate
An indicator proving you reciprocate.
This sentiment which must be written all over my face.
Give me a sign; won't you give me a sign?
Give me a sign; won't you give me a sign?
Throw me a bone; give me a clue as to what to do.
Give me a sign?

Here we are like two ships in the night.
I could have sworn I caught your eye
While you were slowly floating by,
But don't know if I'm right.
So I devise a plan to sail into your port,
And I pack up all my gear and make my way down to the shore.

Now my boat has left the harbor,
I put out both my oars,
I batten down the hatches,
I'm prepared to brave the storm.
And if you don't respond in kind
I know I will survive.

But I'm still searching for that beacon of hope,
Which will say to me you are mine.
Let me know you're mine?
And give me a sign?
Let me know you're mine?
And give me a sign, give me a sign?​

 

[Katri]

I'm sorry

You are not wrong.
I've promised you so many things,
these were promises I just couldn't keep,
and that made me a liar,
but I'm not lying about the dreams,
or about my heart breaking.

whatever I write is
my own interpretation of
what has haunted, and tormented me,
and my own confusion.
Maybe they are lies..
what could I possibly have to prove?

I meant every poem, and every song.
They aren't lies..
I never meant to play games with your heart,
I don't want to mess with your life and bother you.
I won't come to see you.
I will leave you alone.
I don't want any problems.
I'm sorry.
I will give you what you want.
Goodbye.​

 

[Katri]

I have never made you do anything,
You chose to lose what you have for God, and you are blaming me For your decision,

the scriptures are not lies.

God did not lie to you, he is NOT a liar.
If it is in his word he will do it. He is doing it.

God is not a man that he should lie; Numbers 23:19

God said ..

Who ever finds their life will lose it,
If you lose your life for my sake, you will find it.
Matthew 10:39

Daniel 10:12 God is fighting your battle, because of the strongest demons you've allowed and made a convanent with. It will take time to fight! It is a battle for your soul! Remember this!

You decided to choose, I have made you do nothing.
This is not something you can expect to walk away from without a fight..

The darkness will fight to keep you in Hell.
Freedom isn't free, if you want it you have to fight for it. With all your heart.

That is why you struggle..



​