Online Relationships...

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Raley said:
Hi all,

I'm new to these forums and all that.. so bear with me haha. I just had a question for anyone who wanted to give me their opinion. Do online relationships work? Or is it better to go with "local" relationships?

Hope for some input, because I'm CONFUSED on the subject.

Thanks,
Raley
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im going to be honest with you raley,
im pretty much against online relationships, ive stated that in a different forum.
if you go to a dating site, like eharmony, ect and pay money. thats pretty much a slap in the face to god bc you arent relying on him to bring you your mate. but if you meet on a site like this, i feel its a little different. because you arent paying, you arent taking surveys, and its a clean site that doesnt have weirdos on it. just be very careful with online dating and PRAY about it and ask GOD for clearity and wisdom.
 
Wow, I didn't realize that so many people let corresponding with someone they've met on-line but not in real life into the definition of "on-line dating." I can't consider that dating because it doesn't involve a date, which I define as, well, meeting someone in person. The first e-mail to my boyfriend that I met on-line was "Hey, do you wanna meet?" I mean, according to his profile he lived close to me and was everything I was looking for in a guy so I thought there was no point wasting his time with e-mail small talk.

I remember my first date, it was with a guy I'd known from my church youth group for about a year. We'd been boyfriend/girlfriend for about five days. It was time to go to a movie and make it official, because we thought it was common knowledge that you can't really be a couple until you've been out in public just the two of you. We saw Toy Story which had premiered that day. We also ran into some of his classmates who told me that he drew hearts around my name during class and he was really embarrassed.

Now look who's off topic. Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that e-mailing back in forth is not "dating" that's corresponding with a stranger. Now, I'm not saying there's not a place for that. Two years ago I started corresponding with a guy in Australia that I met on-line. But he's just a friend. He could be lying to me about his demographic, but when he added me to his Facebook, the possible of him lying became very unlikely even though theoretically possible.
 
Ancilla said:
Wow, I didn't realize that so many people let corresponding with someone they've met on-line but not in real life into the definition of "on-line dating." I can't consider that dating because it doesn't involve a date, which I define as, well, meeting someone in person.
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hmm very true!
 
I don't know if anyone else who's done on-line dating has had this experience, but it's so weird when you meet someone in person that you've been corresponding with on-line. I went out this this one guy I met on-line and we're having dinner and I was telling him about the Jars of Clay concert I went to, and he gently reminded me that I already told him that in an e-mail. That was so weird because I just met him and yet I had already told him stuff about my life. Now, not that I had told him anything personal, and not that he was creepy or anything (he actually had a pretty cool job designing batteries for Blackberry. If only he was more interesting to talk to). Anyway, since then I have tried to really reduce how much I tell a guy before I meet him, even if it's trivialities. If a guy meets my very short list of requirements, I come right out and tell him I'd like to meet him.
 
You know, now I want to find every other thread where I've written "on-line dating" and clarify what I mean.
 
I really don't think online relationships would work.I think you should talk to them in person. You can only say and do so much online. You should try to find someone that lives close to you that you personally know. I mean I guess if you really liked the person that you were talking to online and you decided to meet someday and then you found out you Really do like each other it might work.I just don't think that that would happen very often.Not many people I know would be willing to move to another state or a long ways away to date someone. It's your decision though.
 
Emily said:
I really don't think online relationships would work.I think you should talk to them in person. You can only say and do so much online. You should try to find someone that lives close to you that you personally know. I mean I guess if you really liked the person that you were talking to online and you decided to meet someday and then you found out you Really do like each other it might work.I just don't think that that would happen very often.Not many people I know would be willing to move to another state or a long ways away to date someone. It's your decision though.
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There's a good book that might change your views on those things.. "'Marriable"' by Michael and Hayley DiMarco.. they met online and endorse it and have good reasoning...
 
I think online relationships doesn't work at all. Yeah you can build-up something out of it but it's just a psychological effect that you'll need someone to talk with.Being with him/her is still the most sincere approach you could give with each other.
 
worldlover said:
I think online relationships doesn't work at all. Yeah you can build-up something out of it but it's just a psychological effect that you'll need someone to talk with.Being with him/her is still the most sincere approach you could give with each other.
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If what you are saying is relationships where people who meet online and do the majority of their communication online always fail I can relate to you tons of stories that prove otherwise.
 
Baptistrw said:
If what you are saying is relationships where people who meet online and do the majority of their communication online always fail I can relate to you tons of stories that prove otherwise.
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Good. While I wouldn't really recommend a long distance relationship and I definitly don't think it would be right for me, it's nice to know there are so many that work out. I mean, by "wouldn't really recommend' I think it's a better idea to have a local relationship, BUT we all know that people don't have long distance relationships if there is better local alternative staring them in a face. I guess long distance relationships is just like exogamy (marrying outside of one's "group") it can totally work, just be aware of the possible challenges.

But yeah, to say it never works, one would have to the satistics in front of them. Then we'd have to think about how we define "work." My great-grandparents met breifly, for like a week, it was love at first site, and when my great-grandma went home they started corresponding. I don't have the details about how they went from writing letters to getting married, but I do know they were happily married for about forty years until my great-grandpa died. Of course, getting married in about 1905 was veeeery different than it is now.
 
Ancilla said:
Good. While I wouldn't really recommend a long distance relationship and I definitly don't think it would be right for me, it's nice to know there are so many that work out. I mean, by "wouldn't really recommend' I think it's a better idea to have a local relationship, BUT we all know that people don't have long distance relationships if there is better local alternative staring them in a face. I guess long distance relationships is just like exogamy (marrying outside of one's "group") it can totally work, just be aware of the possible challenges.

But yeah, to say it never works, one would have to the satistics in front of them. Then we'd have to think about how we define "work." My great-grandparents met breifly, for like a week, it was love at first site, and when my great-grandma went home they started corresponding. I don't have the details about how they went from writing letters to getting married, but I do know they were happily married for about forty years until my great-grandpa died. Of course, getting married in about 1905 was veeeery different than it is now.
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Sometimes Europeans would ''sell'' their daughters to American men. Greg Mazak from BJU's great grandma or something like that was one of those. She married the man and chose to love him and they made it work out. If God's in it and it's His will, it'll work out.
 
Before the internet some people would have long distance relationships via snail mail i.e. hand written letters without ever having met the person. Meet up and then get married.
It's nothing new.
Just the medium is different.
 
MahogonySnail said:
Before the internet some people would have long distance relationships via snail mail i.e. hand written letters without ever having met the person. Meet up and then get married.
It's nothing new.
Just the medium is different.
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Ah yes, the old "mail order bride." There's a children's novel about that called Sarah, Plain and Tall. It was made into a movie with Glenn Close and... I think Christopher Walkin. In that book Sarah comes from New England to stay with a widower and his family for the purpose of deciding whether or not they should get married, which of course they eventually do. But I wonder how common that waiting period actually was. I wonder how many of these mail order brides pretty much married right off the bat.
 
Baptistrw said:
There's a good book that might change your views on those things.. "'Marriable"' by Michael and Hayley DiMarco.. they met online and endorse it and have good reasoning...
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Yet another book I'd like to read. There's so many more books I'd like to read on this topic, but right now I'm limited to what's in the public library.
 
Ancilla said:
Yet another book I'd like to read. There's so many more books I'd like to read on this topic, but right now I'm limited to what's in the public library.
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If you got $5 you can afford it lol
 
Baptistrw said:
Sometimes Europeans would ''sell'' their daughters to American men. Greg Mazak from BJU's great grandma or something like that was one of those. She married the man and chose to love him and they made it work out. If God's in it and it's His will, it'll work out.
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Of course, I have my theories why back then it was easier to keep a marriage together even though they prepared for it less. Maybe I'll put all those theories on a single thread. I think I've already talked about it before on this forum. I think the problems with today's marriage really have their roots in industrialization.
 
No Ancilla, I'm not talking about mail order brides. I'm talking about two people communicating over long distance, falling in love, meeting up, then getting married.
 
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