Ultimately, when people do this especially after getting close to someone- shows a problem with themselves that needs to be worked on and resolved. And like you, I hope and pray the best for him.
Am I doing the right thing?
- Thread starter Grace228311
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Ultimately, when people do this especially after getting close to someone- shows a problem with themselves that needs to be worked on and resolved. And like you, I hope and pray the best for him.
Honestly, losing a friend like this is super hard... and yeah, I've been through that, too. It really messed me up for a while, I thought I was good friends with this person.
Hmm... I think if you've gone on a few dates with someone, you can still summon up the courtesy to tell them nicely that you're probably not going to be available any more... or that you can go out "as friends"? Geeze, there is no nice way to say that, is there. I think not wanting to hurt someone's feelings is probably why people "ghost" others. But still, having these hard conversations is something we need to be able to do, as adults. Sometimes I hate adulting. :-/
Honestly, losing a friend like this is super hard... and yeah, I've been through that, too. It really messed me up for a while, I thought I was good friends with this person.
Hmm... I think if you've gone on a few dates with someone, you can still summon up the courtesy to tell them nicely that you're probably not going to be available any more... or that you can go out "as friends"? Geeze, there is no nice way to say that, is there. I think not wanting to hurt someone's feelings is probably why people "ghost" others. But still, having these hard conversations is something we need to be able to do, as adults. Sometimes I hate adulting. :-/
They usually disappear after the second or third date. It doesn't bother me, but that was a long time ago. Last 6 months, I've started going on a few dates, all of them, except for the last one, I never asked for a second.
I don't think it has to do with maturity - it's called common courtesy, especially with someone you were so emotionally involved. I will tell you straight - nothing good will come out from getting back together because he WILL grow cold and disappear again, just like he did last time.
I am no expert. And I do not claim to know your situation or grief.
However, try writing down your commitment to God about the person/situation.
Pray for God's will, not supposing you know it already.
Do something to honor your written commitment to God.
Note: It should be a tangible reminder in a set place, not in a screen where it can be shared, lost, or deleted.
Put a promise verse from scripture near you, one that will encourage and challenge you to stay the course.
However, try writing down your commitment to God about the person/situation.
Pray for God's will, not supposing you know it already.
Do something to honor your written commitment to God.
Note: It should be a tangible reminder in a set place, not in a screen where it can be shared, lost, or deleted.
Put a promise verse from scripture near you, one that will encourage and challenge you to stay the course.
The short answer is go to another gym. The longer answer is more complicated. Before you get caught up in the good memories you need to be honest with yourself about his behaviour and why you would excuse it. His sudden cold feet put you through a lot of pain. His attitude on seeing you again was immature and uncaring. His sudden attention may be exciting to you but stop for a minute. What value do you put on yourself and what behaviours are you willing to allow towards you? You are already on notice that he is not a good communicator. He did not treat you with respect when he saw you again. Now look at the attention. Is he bored and assuming you are good for now? Has he done anything to explain or repair the damage? How about an apology? What are you hoping for now? Whatever you do make sure you are choosing your actions rather than reacting to hormones. Remember who you are and what you need an deserve in a relationship. Do not let yourself be used. Best of luck my sister.
I am a ghoster. I don't do it to be rude. The people I have ghosted (not necessarily dates) have all been good people with whom for a while I had things in common with. I'm inauthentic. I have a hard time being myself around others. I think part of it is the lack of boundaries and I feel as though I'm having to conform to unspoken agreement of what others expect from me. Not saying its true, just my issues. There seems to be phases in my life of types of friends I have had that has progressed my whole life. I tend to just move on to other interests and ways of spending my money and time. I know I'm obsessed with learning and others often times fall into their rut of the same thing day in and day out. I have gone back from time to time to family at least that I have ghosted and been received with open arms which in turn makes it easier for me to do to other people. Most times I think well in two weeks they will be over it and realize its a problem with me. I don't trust easily so its difficult for me to be honest about who I am or what I like to do. I generally find things they like to do that also keeps my interest and focus on that but it doesn't last. I'm defiantly a people person and always hanging around others theres a certain amount of deficit in learning about oneself. Now I'm all the time learning more about what "I" find interesting regardless of if I have to do it by myself or not. Hopefully one day I will have a life time friend but its a matter of changing the not so easy ways I set boundaries or maybe the lack thereof. I'm not saying ur friend is the same just thought I would give u a persepective (even if it is a lousy one at that) of a fellow ghoster. Maybe the question I have is how does one tell if the other person in the relationship is invested as much as the other.