Husband got mad and shoved me into the counter and cubbard I am calling Abw tomorrow

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jenniferand2

jenniferand2

Senior Member
#1
Mar 19, 2016
1,433
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#1
I am not going to be on her long tonight but just to post this. My husband got mad at me at dinner because I said something to him about I heard him . He said something to me and I didn't do what he said fast enough so he repeated himself and I said I heard you. He then shoved me into the counter and my face hit the cubbard. I am not hurt except for my back. I hurt my back real bad yesterday I was in the emergency room for 6 hours getting pain meds because what ever I did to it messed it up so bad I could barely walk. Anyhow knowing I am still in excruiating pain he shoved me anyways. So I told him we are done he has to move out. So I am hoping and praying he does not try to hurt me while I am sleeping tonight and tomorrow I will go to the abw and see ifvthey will put me up in a hotel with my dogs until I can get him out of the apartment. He was nice the last few weeks when I had money to spend on him and now that he got all the stuff he wanted and knows I used money to pay down bills he is back to being an a hole. So I pray to the lord for protection tonight and that he does not try to hurt me while I am sleeping. Please pray for my protection. I am seriously done. I would rather he killed me then keep living this way anymore. I just hope he is not dumb enough to hurt me because all my friends and my sister have gotten messsges and know what happened and if anything happens to me . He will be the first person that is looked for. God bless all my friends on here.I will get back on as soon as I can to let you all know I am okay...I won't leave any of my caring friends here worry about my safety so I will keep updating you. God bless
 
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littlestarsmum

Senior Member
#2
Oct 19, 2016
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I’m so sorry you’re hurting, Jennifer. My heart ached as I read your post, and I wish I could give you a hug. I know it’s not easy to go through so much pain and abuse in marriage. Please know that I’ll be praying for you, asking the Lord to surround you with His healing presence and protect you under the shadow of His wings. Have you ever considered talking to a counselor/therapist? Do you think that's something that might be helpful for you personally? A caring professional might be able to give you solid guidance. Please know that you can always come here to share and we’re all here to support you. Remember that “the Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18). He will never fail you or forsake you. I know it’s not easy right now, but stay strong. Hugs!
 
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AuntieAnt

Guest
#3
#3
PLEASE PHONE THE POLICE ASAP AND TELL THEM WHAT YOU HAVE TOLD US HERE.
You have good reason to be afraid of your husband. And man who would violently shove his wife like that is a dangerous person. Please do not remain alone with him.
 
Willie-T

Willie-T

Banned
#5
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
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#5
AuntieAnt said:
PLEASE PHONE THE POLICE ASAP AND TELL THEM WHAT YOU HAVE TOLD US HERE.
You have good reason to be afraid of your husband. And man who would violently shove his wife like that is a dangerous person. Please do not remain alone with him.
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I second this. And do NOT wait until tomorrow.
 
jenniferand2

jenniferand2

Senior Member
#6
Mar 19, 2016
1,433
33
48
#6
littlestarsmum said:
I’m so sorry you’re hurting, Jennifer. My heart ached as I read your post, and I wish I could give you a hug. I know it’s not easy to go through so much pain and abuse in marriage. Please know that I’ll be praying for you, asking the Lord to surround you with His healing presence and protect you under the shadow of His wings. Have you ever considered talking to a counselor/therapist? Do you think that's something that might be helpful for you personally? A caring professional might be able to give you solid guidance. Please know that you can always come here to share and we’re all here to support you. Remember that “the Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18). He will never fail you or forsake you. I know it’s not easy right now, but stay strong. Hugs!
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I have been in therapy for over 8 years they are the ones who helped make me stronger again. I am about to start a new part time job so maybe I can go back again but i have friends who are supporting me now and will be here for me they all know what is going on so if he tries anything else they will be sure to contact authorities. This man held me a gun point before so I just want to keep things as peaceful as I can. the more peaceful i keep things they better it is for me safe as weird as that sounds it has always seemed to work .
 
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Ugly

Guest
#7
#7
I agree with the others. Not calling the police only let's him off the hook and encourages this behavior. He needs consequences.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#8
#8
jenniferand2 said:
I have been in therapy for over 8 years they are the ones who helped make me stronger again. I am about to start a new part time job so maybe I can go back again but i have friends who are supporting me now and will be here for me they all know what is going on so if he tries anything else they will be sure to contact authorities. This man held me a gun point before so I just want to keep things as peaceful as I can. the more peaceful i keep things they better it is for me safe as weird as that sounds it has always seemed to work .
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Doesn't sound weird. It sounds like textbook abuser. They get their way using fear and intimidation to keep you "in line". It's pretty typical actually.
 
jenniferand2

jenniferand2

Senior Member
#9
Mar 19, 2016
1,433
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#9
Willie-T said:
Are you in Rochester?
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yes sir I am near rochester . I have called police on him before when he held me at gunpoint and threaten to commit suicide in front of me and they did nothing at all. I have no faith in the police and calling them now will only piss him off more and he would be out by tomorrow mad as all hell. So i think for now i will just stay locked in the bedroom until tomorrow and then call the battered woman's place and let them know what is going on. I need to find a hotel to stay or something because I do not want to leave my dogs behind with him. I lvoe my dogs way to much they are my comfort and i will not let them go.
 
Willie-T

Willie-T

Banned
#10
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
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#10
jenniferand2 said:
yes sir I am near rochester . I have called police on him before when he held me at gunpoint and threaten to commit suicide in front of me and they did nothing at all. I have no faith in the police and calling them now will only piss him off more and he would be out by tomorrow mad as all hell. So i think for now i will just stay locked in the bedroom until tomorrow and then call the battered woman's place and let them know what is going on. I need to find a hotel to stay or something because I do not want to leave my dogs behind with him. I lvoe my dogs way to much they are my comfort and i will not let them go.
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Was that RPD or Munroe Co Sherriff?
 
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renewed_hope

Guest
#12
#12
jenniferand2 said:
yes sir I am near rochester . I have called police on him before when he held me at gunpoint and threaten to commit suicide in front of me and they did nothing at all. I have no faith in the police and calling them now will only piss him off more and he would be out by tomorrow mad as all hell. So i think for now i will just stay locked in the bedroom until tomorrow and then call the battered woman's place and let them know what is going on. I need to find a hotel to stay or something because I do not want to leave my dogs behind with him. I lvoe my dogs way to much they are my comfort and i will not let them go.
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Before you do that, empty your checking account with cash, but maybe ten bucks and run. Also, it may be a good idea to get rid of your phone and buy one of those prepaid ones that way he can't track you
 
jenniferand2

jenniferand2

Senior Member
#13
Mar 19, 2016
1,433
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#13
That was rpd. But if cops get called it Wil be like putting a match on gasoline trust me he has threatened if I ever call the cops in him I will pay for it and I believe him..
 
jenniferand2

jenniferand2

Senior Member
#14
Mar 19, 2016
1,433
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#14
renewed_hope said:
Before you do that, empty your checking account with cash, but maybe ten bucks and run. Also, it may be a good idea to get rid of your phone and buy one of those prepaid ones that way he can't track you
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My bank account is empty thanks to him. I have 8.00 to my name right now and will not get paid from my new job for three weeks when I am done training.
 
Willie-T

Willie-T

Banned
#15
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
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#15
Unless you are just fed up with calling the PD, you can try directly calling 428-6630, and tell them what happened.
 
jenniferand2

jenniferand2

Senior Member
#16
Mar 19, 2016
1,433
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#16
I have to try to rest some I have to be up early I will check back here later if I can not sleep or tomorrow.
 
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Sweetmorningdew78

Guest
#17
#17
I just prayed for you sis... God will keep you safe.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#18
#18
Jennifer, consider putting an ad up on FB or contacting a no-kill animal shelter for help. And, no, I'm not saying give up your dogs. I'm suggesting maybe you can find someone who will foster your dogs until you get back on your feet. Just really make sure anyone who takes your dogs will also give them back when you're ready. Some of my FB friends work in animal shelters that do just that -- find foster placement for animals while the owner is away on deployment or stuck in the hospital for a while, It is a thing. That way you don't have to deal with both issues at once.

As for cops? I agree with you. 99% of the time, I'd tell the person being abused to run, but you won't because all you have is in that area. (Daughter, school, job. And, btw, job? Cool! Glad you landed one. I'll also be praying you can do it with your spine constantly going on strike.) Since he knows where you'll be anyway, there is no purpose in police. The best they'd do is haul him away for as long as it takes him to post bail, and then you'd be stuck in the same situation, except now he's mad because "you" put him in jail. (And we both know he put him in jail by his actions, but he won't think in those terms.)

People keep saying women have equal rights, but we know we don't when it comes to abuse -- whether physical or sexual. Men get such light sentences for either of those crimes that it really is a case for the victim being punished, so why bother bringing the legal system into this?

No idea how this will play out even after you get out, but your safety improves a bit. Sadly, you will never be fully safe, unless one of you leaves the area.

This probably is connected to today being your first day on your new job. People don't like change. And when change happens, we go straight to the behavior that has worked the best for us so far. Bad news when that behavior is abusive. So, this is connected. I will be praying for you because stress is already high on the first day of a new job. The rest merely made that stress the least of all your stresses, but it's no less stressful.

May the ABW give you a safe place to sleep tonight. And I truly hope a no-kill animal shelter can find foster placement for your dogs. ($8 to last you three weeks is not conducive to feeding dogs too. Sorry.)

Let us know how this is working out. Hopefully, it can spur us on how to help you. I'm glad you're finally leaving. I hope you really do.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#19
Feb 21, 2014
70,927
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#19
I'm sorry to hear this, Jennifer. You moving out and bringing him with you was a COLOSSAL mistake, but you already know that. Do you have any money you could borrow from someone until you get paid? Is his name on your checking account? If it is, TAKE IT OFF ASAP. And open another account at a different bank so you can save up some money. Or at least give the bulk of your check to someone you trust, so he can't steal it. Keep your phone charged up and on you at all times. Do what renewed-hope suggested, throw it out and get a prepaid tracfone. Buy a phone card, and get the phone activated before you even leave the store's parking lot.. He absolutely cannot trace it.


Praying that you get out of this mess real soon..
 
MichaelOwen

MichaelOwen

Senior Member
#20
Nov 6, 2017
909
252
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#20
blue_ladybug said:
I'm sorry to hear this, Jennifer. You moving out and bringing him with you was a COLOSSAL mistake, but you already know that. Do you have any money you could borrow from someone until you get paid? Is his name on your checking account? If it is, TAKE IT OFF ASAP. And open another account at a different bank so you can save up some money. Or at least give the bulk of your check to someone you trust, so he can't steal it. Keep your phone charged up and on you at all times. Do what renewed-hope suggested, throw it out and get a prepaid tracfone. Buy a phone card, and get the phone activated before you even leave the store's parking lot.. He absolutely cannot trace it.


Praying that you get out of this mess real soon..
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I second this, disconnect from him any way that you can. Facebook, cell phone, even your checking account if you have one shared with him. Draw out what is rightfully yours, and take your name off of it. We're all praying for you, you have every right to leave that man. I hope and pray that man comes to know Jesus, because it sounds to me he's never opened up to Christ or accepted Him. A man of Christ WILL NOT behave that way, I don't care what they tell you. A true follower of Christ does not conduct themselves in that manner, especially towards their wife. My heart goes out to you, and all the prayers will be sent your way sister. I love you and Christ loves you!
 
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