Please, friends. I need advice.

[JoshMal]

Greetings. Grace and peace to you all.
A family member that I have been praying for God to change, still keeps to be getting worse. I can't just ignore since it's about family. The person does not take matters of God seriously and does not heed our advice. Sometimes, the family member seems 2 b changing, but sooner or later falls back. God has the power to stir people's spirit and save them.
What am I doing wrong? Because we all know God can NEVER ignore us. Am I not praying hard enough? Is God telling me I need more faith or just telling me not to relent in prayers? Or what do u think I am doing wrong? Because, I believe that just one person's faith can even save a whole nation (Like, Moses for example) not to mention a family.
Need advice. God can speak through any of u. Thanks. God bless u all.

 

[Adstar]

I have had this experience and i believe that while i can pray for the conviction of the Holy Spirit to come upon another person in the end i cannot pray another person into eternal salvation....

In the end it is between God and the person i am praying for..

But also JoshMal i will also say that we humans often lack patience and we want immediate results / responses from God when we pray.. Sometimes a response will come from God years after we have prayed to Him about an issue..

So i would encourage you to keep your family member in your prayers and do your best to show the love and share the wisdom of Gods truth with your family member.. I know that can be very hard to do if a family member does not respect the Message of God.. I have a family member who is an atheist and is very mocking towards the Message of God.. But we should strive to have the patience and long suffering towards others like God has towards us..

May God have mercy on both our family members and may The strong conviction of the Holy Spirit come upon them..

JoshMal how about we both agree on the above desire i have expressed and ask God for each of our family members.. For when two or more are gathered in his name So shall He be with us..

 

[Depleted]

Greetings. Grace and peace to you all.
A family member that I have been praying for God to change, still keeps to be getting worse. I can't just ignore since it's about family. The person does not take matters of God seriously and does not heed our advice. Sometimes, the family member seems 2 b changing, but sooner or later falls back. God has the power to stir people's spirit and save them.
What am I doing wrong? Because we all know God can NEVER ignore us. Am I not praying hard enough? Is God telling me I need more faith or just telling me not to relent in prayers? Or what do u think I am doing wrong? Because, I believe that just one person's faith can even save a whole nation (Like, Moses for example) not to mention a family.
Need advice. God can speak through any of u. Thanks. God bless u all.

How about giving up that thought that it is you who will save the family member, your strength, your faith, you doing it just right, you?

[h=1]Matthew 6:33[/h][FONT=&quot]But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.[/FONT]

 

[Ugly]

Both answers above are great. Heed them.
But one thing your outlook misses is that prayer is not a form of mind control. Prayer's goal when praying for people is not to force, pressure or coerce people into what you think is right, when you think it's right. Or to convince God to force Himself on anyone. People have the freedom to choose. God can work, He can stir, but that person can still chose to deny.
YOU don't have the power. There may be times when your prayers are vitally important to another, but that doesn't mean they all are. The power is not in you. You are the the focal point of prayer. And prayer is not a time to make your wishes come true. One of the things prayer is is to implore God to move in someones life and heart to help steer them to make their own choice to believe in Him. Not that God zaps Him and makes him obey.
The majority of what people do as Christians is water seeds. Few don't already know about God and Jesus. The seeds are planted in most people. Most people, as the bible makes clear, will not have those seeds grow into anything. But we water them anyways, because we don't know. And because so few will ever be ready, to see them harvested is not that common. And it's not to be our focus.
And while prayer is useful, if you don't water the seeds it makes it more difficult. Prayer is only Part of the equation. Speaking and watering seeds is the other part. We can't, as Christians, hide behind the church doors, pray, and expect to see throngs of people getting saved. Jesus went out and spoke to people. He interacted with people, then prayed for them.

Family or not does not mean it is your job to harvest. Or that it is their time. Keep praying, keep watering, continue setting an example and be patient. God will know if and when this individual is ready. You can't force him to become ready.

Also it seems you expect a non-Christian to go to God and take Gods matters seriously. Unreasonable expectations. If those are the things you're praying for, that's fruitless. Those are the habits of the Godly, not the ungodly. Stop expecting one that does not have God to go to God.

 

[JoshMal]

Thanks a lot @ Adstar. We'll intercede for each other.
God bless u all.

 

[BillG]

Its not necessarily to do with your prayers or your faith or lack of it.
You can't change the family member, only God can do that.
That is what your prayers should be focused on.

The biggest mistake people make when witnessing is constantly just talking about what the Bible says, both the negative and the positive. Yet all a person will hear is the negative.

We need to walk the walk, walk the talk.

Love, compassion, gentleness and all.

Just be like Jesus and not just talk about him.

 

[JoshMal]

Its not necessarily to do with your prayers or your faith or lack of it.
You can't change the family member, only God can do that.
That is what your prayers should be focused on.

The biggest mistake people make when witnessing is constantly just talking about what the Bible says, both the negative and the positive. Yet all a person will hear is the negative.

We need to walk the walk, walk the talk.

Love, compassion, gentleness and all.

Just be like Jesus and not just talk about him.

Greetings.
I understand u Bill. But I never said its me dat will save them. I said 'I want God to change them, bcos He can do dat in a sec. Even when d person seems hard hearted'. Well, d best things 2 keep praying and believing. After all, I know He is willing 2 make it better. Thank God I got another person help me pray, the more d better (thanks adstar).
God bless.

 

[RickyZ]

I'm praying with you, and for you. I think the biggest thing is to realize what are reasonable expectations. You cannot force God's will on anyone. All you can do is pray that the Holy Spirit woo and convict them, and live as an example. That's the best any of us can do. I've been praying for my brother for over 50 years. But he still hasn't changed. Their failure is not your failure. The only way you can fail is to cease praying because the results did not meet your expectations. It's a tough one my friend. And yes I'm praying with you, that the Holy Spirit woo and convict all our loved ones who err.

 

[BillG]

Greetings.
I understand u Bill. But I never said its me dat will save them. I said 'I want God to change them, bcos He can do dat in a sec. Even when d person seems hard hearted'. Well, d best things 2 keep praying and believing. After all, I know He is willing 2 make it better. Thank God I got another person help me pray, the more d better (thanks adstar).
God bless.

Greetings my friend.

If I came across as accusing you of thinking that you will save them that was not my intention. I was being a bit broad brush with my statement.

Yes I agree God can change them in a second.
The thing is we do not know when that second is.
That second could be 30 years down the line.
We may never ever see them come to God.

I speak from experience on both sides.
Had 2 people that I met up with many many years later.
They said to me "I'm a Christan thanks to you" I was gobsmacked.
I did nothing other than plant seed. Then God harvested it. I was not with them when they came to Jesus.

I walked with a guy a couple of years back.
After a year I had the privilege to pray with them when they placed their faith in Jesus.

My mother, from a Muslim family came to Jesus a few years back. (Side note we had a very bad relationship, no love)
I tried to witness to her just talking about the Bible.
I used to pray for, but just words.
One night God asked me to pray "Ask me how I feel about your mother"

That I did. Then all of a sudden I saw just a glimpse of how God felt about her.
I started to cry, he revealed to me how she was hurting and he piled it on.

After hours and hours I got so distressed I asked God to stop.

He said "Yes I will, are you now willing to love your mum as I love her?
I said "Yes God I'm willing, please help me"

He came through, he upheld his side, and worked on my side.

Praise him, years later a woman who was broken, hurting, as a result took it out on me. Thought Jesus was just a prophet.
Came to Jesus.

I walked the talk, it was a long road. But in a second, that woman, my mum accepted Jesus.

The above is behind what I posted.

No prayer offered up will be unanswered.
But at times the prayer may be answered by God bringing about a different focus on what we are paying about.

That has been my experience.
So now when I pray for someone I ask God "Lay on my heart what it is you want me to pray for"
That does not mean I will not lift up what I want to pray for.
It's just that at times he changes the focus.

I hope the above makes sense.

God will answer your prayers.

 

[oldethennew]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to BillG again.

 

[BillG]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to BillG again.

Thank you for your thoughts and kind words

 

[JoshMal]

@ RickyZ. Thanks. God will reward u for choosing 2 pray with me. Thanks.
@ Bill. I did not pick any offense, bro.
Ok, let me just come clean. The family member is my dad, didnt want open up, b4. Thats y i said i cant ignore d it, also u know how a dad can affect d family. He just seems 2 have given up on God. He is not interested in moving forward. He says nasty things to us (me, my sis n bro and my mom). Don't get me wrong, I can not dare say he is a bad father to us, I cant wish for another.
So, I'm sure u all get d picture now.

 

[JoshMal]

@ RickyZ. Thanks. God will reward u for choosing 2 pray with me. Thanks.
@ Bill. I did not pick any offense, bro.
Ok, let me just come clean. The family member is my dad, didnt want open up, b4. Thats y i said i cant ignore d it, also u know how a dad can affect d family. He just seems 2 have given up on God. He is not interested in moving forward. He says nasty things to us (me, my sis n bro and my mom). Don't get me wrong, I can not dare say he is a bad father to us, I cant wish for another.
So, I'm sure u all get d picture now.

 

[BillG]

@ RickyZ. Thanks. God will reward u for choosing 2 pray with me. Thanks.
@ Bill. I did not pick any offense, bro.
Ok, let me just come clean. The family member is my dad, didnt want open up, b4. Thats y i said i cant ignore d it, also u know how a dad can affect d family. He just seems 2 have given up on God. He is not interested in moving forward. He says nasty things to us (me, my sis n bro and my mom). Don't get me wrong, I can not dare say he is a bad father to us, I cant wish for another.
So, I'm sure u all get d picture now.

You have another Father.
He is your/our heavenly Father.
It is he who speaks truth to you about you.

That should be your focus.

 

[JoshMal]

@ RickyZ. Thanks. God will reward u for choosing 2 pray with me. Thanks.
@ Bill. I did not pick any offense, bro.
Ok, let me just come clean. The family member is my dad, didnt want open up, b4. Thats y i said i cant ignore d it, also u know how a dad can affect d family. He just seems 2 have given up on God. He is not interested in moving forward. He says nasty things to us (me, my sis n bro and my mom). Don't get me wrong, I can not dare say he is a bad father to us, I cant wish for another.
So, I'm sure u all get d picture now.

 

[JoshMal]

Thank u. @BillG

 

[Dan58]

God has the power to stir people's spirit and save them.
What am I doing wrong? Because we all know God can NEVER ignore us. Am I not praying hard enough? Is God telling me I need more faith or just telling me not to relent in prayers? Or what do u think I am doing wrong? Because, I believe that just one person's faith can even save a whole nation (Like, Moses for example) not to mention a family.
Need advice. God can speak through any of u. Thanks. God bless u all.

Salvation is an independent decision which comes through an individuals faith.. Your faith cannot save someone else, so don't blame yourself. God does not force the issue, so all you can do is pray for your father and be patient, because ultimately, its his choice to accept God into his life. Don't be discouraged, your faith isn't the issue, your prayers aren't the issue, change will only occur when your father's heart is softened and he feels the need to reach out to God himself.. jmo

 

[HeraldtheNews]

Just a few thoughts on prayer, even though everyone here is giving good guidance. Christian friends and acquaintances have given help over the years on praying-- One man said that we should only ask for something once. The Lord knows what we have asked for and we should not repeat it, since it is not necessary and might discourage faith. I think he said that once we have asked, we should then change our prayer to "I'm trusting You Lord that you have heard my prayer--now I'm believing faithfully today that You will answer according to Your will." Or he said, once we have asked something, he said he would change the prayer to that day-- like, "As I have prayed for [person-request], may it be granted today," then when we pray, we don't repeat the request, which might sound like desperation or lack of trusting in God's will, we just ask that it be answered that day.

Another thing to remember is that Jesus said that we should put our time and efforts on the family of faith, which He said was the people gathered around Him listening to Him teach, and not always on those members of our earthly family who are not interested in the Christian life. Be careful not to be pushy. This almost always will drive people away. As the people above have said, the best thing to do is show your family members Who Jesus is-- and be sure you are motivated by God's love and not just to corner people into a relationship with God that they may not be looking for yet.

These invisible "rules" are God's rules and are called "boundaries." When people push others into things, or bring up things they don't want to talk about, then it usually amounts to violating their emotional and spiritual boundaries, or mental, social, even personal-- It's important to remember this, since it is the devil that violates peoples boundaries and emotional and personal or social sanctity against their will. People are given free-will and this is sacred. If someone is resisting the Gospel, the best thing to do, is back away and pray for them. If someone is disabled, this can be a different issue, and different ways to help them should be considered.

So, pray for someone to come into your family members lives that can inspire them in a different way than close family members-- a new person, or someone that God might send. And maybe pray only once or twice a week and move on to God's work in other ways, to people who are actively wanting to know Jesus and be saved--who want to hear the Gospel!
Or if the person is in spiritual bondage of some kind, there are ways to pray for them listed in the book, "The Bondage Breaker."

You have plenty of faith! And motivation! Maybe just seek a pastor's help to direct your efforts--
When we pray faithfully, the Lord always gives signs of encouragement to nurture our faith, but not to replace our faith-- Paul said in the bible, that if we already have what we hope for then it is not through faith, (not sure of the verse). Faith means believing, trusting and relying on God/Jesus/Holy-Spirit without seeing-- I think once we reach that point of surrendering people and needs to the Lord, knowing that He knows those who are His sheep who are called, and putting it in His hands, then we can let go trusting that His power is greater than ours, and that we can not accomplish anything on our own "apart from the vine." Faith is before revelation-- does this make sense? If God gave us right away, which can happen sometimes, everything we asked for, how would that build our trust and reliance upon Him?

Getting back to that first Christian man with the good teaching-- I think he also said (amazing how i remembered almost everything he said) that if we don't experience something, without God encouraging our faith, then we might be tempted to give up. So, I believe the LORD will give you signs of your prayer requests gradually to allow you to gradually grow in faithful trusting. I think that was the verse Paul mentioned-- if we saw what we hoped for, it wouldn't require faith. Faith is necessary in this world because God's power is too dangerous to be directly revealed-- does this make sense? Read in the Old Testament where Moses asked God to reveal Himself to him, and God had to take several steps to protect Moses from His power, because He said that he would not survive a direct revelation of His power, face-to-face. So He has to keep a distance a bit, you know, like the earth is over 90 million miles away from the sun--

Anyway, going on and on too much here--
Hope this helps!
Team effort!
TEAM JESUS!!

 

[Depleted]

@ RickyZ. Thanks. God will reward u for choosing 2 pray with me. Thanks.
@ Bill. I did not pick any offense, bro.
Ok, let me just come clean. The family member is my dad, didnt want open up, b4. Thats y i said i cant ignore d it, also u know how a dad can affect d family. He just seems 2 have given up on God. He is not interested in moving forward. He says nasty things to us (me, my sis n bro and my mom). Don't get me wrong, I can not dare say he is a bad father to us, I cant wish for another.
So, I'm sure u all get d picture now.

Not only do I get the picture, I have the same picture, and I've been praying the same thing for my dad for 46 years. Worse yet, he's fading from Stage 2 Alzheimer's to Stage 3, so he has very little mind left.

I couldn't save him. I can't save him. God can! "Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness."

I'm still praying, because Dad's past the point of making a decision.

 

[Depleted]

Salvation is an independent decision which comes through an individuals faith.. Your faith cannot save someone else, so don't blame yourself. God does not force the issue, so all you can do is pray for your father and be patient, because ultimately, its his choice to accept God into his life. Don't be discouraged, your faith isn't the issue, your prayers aren't the issue, change will only occur when your father's heart is softened and he feels the need to reach out to God himself.. jmo

Salvation is an independent decision, but it's God's decision, not our individual faith's decision. And, yes, God does force. He told that to us often, and he showed it through Jonah. Thank him for forcing, otherwise none of us would be saved.

That said, God asks us to evangelize, he asks us to pray, and pray without ceasing, so whose decision it is isn't the argument. But it's also not the answer either.