caught my son watching xxxx

[NoobSaibot]

hi everyone. i walked into the room and caught my son watching xxxx video on our computer. i was so disappointed/angry i yelled at him! then i said how dare you! how dare you! Go to your room. i went through the computer and wondered how this has been happening. i do history checks regularly but this has missed my radar, then i found a browser open called incognito. i read through it and thought how did he know all this! then to access the site to watch it free, again how did he know this? i started to really get angry and started to cry and now pray.

he is almost 11 yrs old. Please dont judge me i need advice and help. we can read scriptures rebuke everything but i really want to know is - how do i deal with this?
(i have not informed his mum yet she is at work)
i want to belt him, but in our country we have an anti smacking law, basically that is a law that gives children power to lock up their parents.
HELP.

 

[Blain]

hi everyone. i walked into the room and caught my son watching xxxx video on our computer. i was so disappointed/angry i yelled at him! then i said how dare you! how dare you! Go to your room. i went through the computer and wondered how this has been happening. i do history checks regularly but this has missed my radar, then i found a browser open called incognito. i read through it and thought how did he know all this! then to access the site to watch it free, again how did he know this? i started to really get angry and started to cry and now pray.

he is almost 11 yrs old. Please dont judge me i need advice and help. we can read scriptures rebuke everything but i really want to know is - how do i deal with this?
(i have not informed his mum yet she is at work)
i want to belt him, but in our country we have an anti smacking law, basically that is a law that gives children power to lock up their parents.
HELP.

Well my friend firstly I think you should calm down and realize he is getting at that age. Do you remember when you first started to get interested in women and having those urges? Your son is obviously reaching that age and in this time what he needs is guidance not anger and yelling, granted he should not have done this on your computer but as an eleven year old who is coming to that point he is going to be confused and may try to explore these desires and he will need you to be understanding about it as I highly doubt he himself understands these urges.

 

[EverydayisaGift]

Hi Brother,

Do explain to your son why Porn is wrong, so he can confess his sins, receive forgiveness and repent from it.

Ask your son how did he learn about this? From friends, family members?

Is he curious about human sexuality? How it works? Is it the right age to tell him? Use Bible stories to show him that sex is made between marriage partners.

 

[SelMar87]

Another thing I will encourage for you is to place the computer in a more public area, so it will make the discreet web searching more difficult for him to accomplish.

 

[NoobSaibot]

Hi and thank you brother, i had some of your advice in the back of my mind ready to ask him, the other advices youve added are real good.

 

[NoobSaibot]

definitely will have computer in public thanks selmar

 

[Demi777]

Looks like u have a very nosy son. Obviously he knows its not right. Punish him. No electric devices or playing with friends for two weeks. Only studying and chores. I doubt he will do it again after that

 

[joefizz]

hi everyone. i walked into the room and caught my son watching xxxx video on our computer. i was so disappointed/angry i yelled at him! then i said how dare you! how dare you! Go to your room. i went through the computer and wondered how this has been happening. i do history checks regularly but this has missed my radar, then i found a browser open called incognito. i read through it and thought how did he know all this! then to access the site to watch it free, again how did he know this? i started to really get angry and started to cry and now pray.

he is almost 11 yrs old. Please dont judge me i need advice and help. we can read scriptures rebuke everything but i really want to know is - how do i deal with this?
(i have not informed his mum yet she is at work)
i want to belt him, but in our country we have an anti smacking law, basically that is a law that gives children power to lock up their parents.
HELP.

Well at least you gave a clear point that you are against pornography,in my adopted family most my "influences" including my own father told me that it's "natural" and I didn't even "have a talk" my info came from a hormonal kid at school who told me about what was on the internet.
Even today I have a child lock on my internet because due to family influence I still often think of it as sort of as "ok" though I remind myself that it's not true.
Anyways so far you have some good advice,putting your computer in a public area is helpful making the internet less accessible,though it's still no guarantee if he is "left alone at home".
Another good thing is a child lock for "all devices" in your home for example I use doctor safety which is free and can "make sites inaccessible" in two ways...
1.child age-the choices are teen,pre teen,and child each one restricting "automatically" certain sites especially pornography and "allowing" some features still such as youtube so that he isn't cut off from video watching completely(seriously funny videos or music videos kids love so it could help them forget arousing stuff)
2.choices of blocking sites with malicious software(sites that could have viruses and be harmful to devices) many sites especially pornography type sites have "thousands" of ads,pop ups,and purchase offers so they are heavily "cluttered" so this option if set to maximum blocks all such sites including sites that are not pornographic but are spam filled or could still cause viruses.
3.both features have a "block list" whatever site you may have witnessed or heard of,type in the http address in the "block list" spot and it will block the site also on the age side there is an "approve list" for any sites you are ok witb him having access to such as Facebook,just like with the block list type in the http address of a site and even if a block is in a different form the site will be accessible also any kid blocker has a "back door" under "settings" to turn it "off" be sure that you know this and it's best if a device of yours has that power and you have the "passwords" to the "block list and approve list".(this only one way of monitoring effectively)
Also one "great way" to "limit" his access to any "nudity prone" videos or images is to use a filter site search engine for a home page for example I use "Ask.com" which automatically cuts out all porn sites and will not even give results for words of a sexual nature for the most part.(there was one loop hole site I found when typing in two words together that had a calache of moving images of nude women but no videos and selling health items)
My answers were rather vague because "nothing is full proof" though the bible,church,and simple values definitely help.

 

[joefizz]

Well at least you gave a clear point that you are against pornography,in my adopted family most my "influences" including my own father told me that it's "natural" and I didn't even "have a talk" my info came from a hormonal kid at school who told me about what was on the internet.
Even today I have a child lock on my internet because due to family influence I still often think of it as sort of as "ok" though I remind myself that it's not true.
Anyways so far you have some good advice,putting your computer in a public area is helpful making the internet less accessible,though it's still no guarantee if he is "left alone at home".
Another good thing is a child lock for "all devices" in your home for example I use doctor safety which is free and can "make sites inaccessible" in two ways...
1.child age-the choices are teen,pre teen,and child each one restricting "automatically" certain sites especially pornography and "allowing" some features still such as youtube so that he isn't cut off from video watching completely(seriously funny videos or music videos kids love so it could help them forget arousing stuff)
2.choices of blocking sites with malicious software(sites that could have viruses and be harmful to devices) many sites especially pornography type sites have "thousands" of ads,pop ups,and purchase offers so they are heavily "cluttered" so this option if set to maximum blocks all such sites including sites that are not pornographic but are spam filled or could still cause viruses.
3.both features have a "block list" whatever site you may have witnessed or heard of,type in the http address in the "block list" spot and it will block the site also on the age side there is an "approve list" for any sites you are ok witb him having access to such as Facebook,just like with the block list type in the http address of a site and even if a block is in a different form the site will be accessible also any kid blocker has a "back door" under "settings" to turn it "off" be sure that you know this and it's best if a device of yours has that power and you have the "passwords" to the "block list and approve list".(this only one way of monitoring effectively)
Also one "great way" to "limit" his access to any "nudity prone" videos or images is to use a filter site search engine for a home page for example I use "Ask.com" which automatically cuts out all porn sites and will not even give results for words of a sexual nature for the most part.(there was one loop hole site I found when typing in two words together that had a calache of moving images of nude women but no videos and selling health items)
My answers were rather vague because "nothing is full proof" though the bible,church,and simple values definitely help.

One more bit to add as I'm guessing you are aware,your child will most likely find "some other way" to "see nudity" or "sexuality" many horror films have this as well as anime even on "Cable" so try not to go overboard on the subject while at the same time monitor because your child will most likely seek to "shut you out" and "get more motivated" to find access to this stuff in some way,and what I mean concerning "going over board" if you happen to be watching a film on tv like say Halloween and there is "nudity" try not to react because your child may seek to have such films if you react to them as if "really upset" rebellion is one of the big "trend setters" or alternatively don't let him "back you into a corner" with pleas to watch those kind of films if you know what to expect.

 

[joefizz]

Looks like u have a very nosy son. Obviously he knows its not right. Punish him. No electric devices or playing with friends for two weeks. Only studying and chores. I doubt he will do it again after that

Yeah that can be a great answer,especially in this "modern age".

 

[joefizz]

Well at least you gave a clear point that you are against pornography,in my adopted family most my "influences" including my own father told me that it's "natural" and I didn't even "have a talk" my info came from a hormonal kid at school who told me about what was on the internet.
Even today I have a child lock on my internet because due to family influence I still often think of it as sort of as "ok" though I remind myself that it's not true.
Anyways so far you have some good advice,putting your computer in a public area is helpful making the internet less accessible,though it's still no guarantee if he is "left alone at home".
Another good thing is a child lock for "all devices" in your home for example I use doctor safety which is free and can "make sites inaccessible" in two ways...
1.child age-the choices are teen,pre teen,and child each one restricting "automatically" certain sites especially pornography and "allowing" some features still such as youtube so that he isn't cut off from video watching completely(seriously funny videos or music videos kids love so it could help them forget arousing stuff)
2.choices of blocking sites with malicious software(sites that could have viruses and be harmful to devices) many sites especially pornography type sites have "thousands" of ads,pop ups,and purchase offers so they are heavily "cluttered" so this option if set to maximum blocks all such sites including sites that are not pornographic but are spam filled or could still cause viruses.
3.both features have a "block list" whatever site you may have witnessed or heard of,type in the http address in the "block list" spot and it will block the site also on the age side there is an "approve list" for any sites you are ok witb him having access to such as Facebook,just like with the block list type in the http address of a site and even if a block is in a different form the site will be accessible also any kid blocker has a "back door" under "settings" to turn it "off" be sure that you know this and it's best if a device of yours has that power and you have the "passwords" to the "block list and approve list".(this only one way of monitoring effectively)
Also one "great way" to "limit" his access to any "nudity prone" videos or images is to use a filter site search engine for a home page for example I use "Ask.com" which automatically cuts out all porn sites and will not even give results for words of a sexual nature for the most part.(there was one loop hole site I found when typing in two words together that had a calache of moving images of nude women but no videos and selling health items)
My answers were rather vague because "nothing is full proof" though the bible,church,and simple values definitely help.

Also apologies to this site for mentioning the full name of a site,I wasn't intent on promoting it and was simply suggesting it as a "helpful tool" concerning the Op's subject,I also mentioned a child lock app and while I use them I don't exactly endorse them nor was I seeking to promote them,just rather vague options as solutions to the Op's problem.

 

[Demi777]

Yeah that can be a great answer,especially in this "modern age".

Its most likely time that he understands sex is normal but what u see in porn is fake and not natural. I was taught it was normal and natural so porn never got interesting to me

 

[Ugly]

hi everyone. i walked into the room and caught my son watching xxxx video on our computer. i was so disappointed/angry i yelled at him! then i said how dare you! how dare you! Go to your room. i went through the computer and wondered how this has been happening. i do history checks regularly but this has missed my radar, then i found a browser open called incognito. i read through it and thought how did he know all this! then to access the site to watch it free, again how did he know this? i started to really get angry and started to cry and now pray.

he is almost 11 yrs old. Please dont judge me i need advice and help. we can read scriptures rebuke everything but i really want to know is - how do i deal with this?
(i have not informed his mum yet she is at work)
i want to belt him, but in our country we have an anti smacking law, basically that is a law that gives children power to lock up their parents.
HELP.

Good thing you can't hit him. It would be an ungodly, selfish act done out of anger and not out of a sense of discipline. It would solve nothing and likely cause more problems.

This is what most parents today don't get. Porn is Everywhere online and speaking to kids about it is as important as talks on drugs, drinking, etc...
The best thing you can do is educate yourself on the realities if porn, then pass that information on to him. There is a site called Fight The New Drug (also on fb) that gives a lot of information on the effects of porn on the brain, relationships, behaviors, etc... It's a secular site but some of the facts presented will shock you that it is allowed to go on.
Presenting him with the realities of what goes on and the negative effects combined with a scriptural, spiritual lesson on sex and lust in general should give a good foundation to start the Process of changing his mind about it. Don't expect it to happen over night.

And before you do any of this you Must drop the anger. He's a kid. And he fits into a more and more common age to start being curious about porn and likely hearing about it from other kids at school.
Being angry, yelling, hitting won't make him stop, it'll just make him better at hiding it.

Get educated, not angry.

 

[Ugly]

Well at least you gave a clear point that you are against pornography,in my adopted family most my "influences" including my own father told me that it's "natural" and I didn't even "have a talk" my info came from a hormonal kid at school who told me about what was on the internet.
Even today I have a child lock on my internet because due to family influence I still often think of it as sort of as "ok" though I remind myself that it's not true.
Anyways so far you have some good advice,putting your computer in a public area is helpful making the internet less accessible,though it's still no guarantee if he is "left alone at home".
Another good thing is a child lock for "all devices" in your home for example I use doctor safety which is free and can "make sites inaccessible" in two ways...
1.child age-the choices are teen,pre teen,and child each one restricting "automatically" certain sites especially pornography and "allowing" some features still such as youtube so that he isn't cut off from video watching completely(seriously funny videos or music videos kids love so it could help them forget arousing stuff)
2.choices of blocking sites with malicious software(sites that could have viruses and be harmful to devices) many sites especially pornography type sites have "thousands" of ads,pop ups,and purchase offers so they are heavily "cluttered" so this option if set to maximum blocks all such sites including sites that are not pornographic but are spam filled or could still cause viruses.
3.both features have a "block list" whatever site you may have witnessed or heard of,type in the http address in the "block list" spot and it will block the site also on the age side there is an "approve list" for any sites you are ok witb him having access to such as Facebook,just like with the block list type in the http address of a site and even if a block is in a different form the site will be accessible also any kid blocker has a "back door" under "settings" to turn it "off" be sure that you know this and it's best if a device of yours has that power and you have the "passwords" to the "block list and approve list".(this only one way of monitoring effectively)
Also one "great way" to "limit" his access to any "nudity prone" videos or images is to use a filter site search engine for a home page for example I use "Ask.com" which automatically cuts out all porn sites and will not even give results for words of a sexual nature for the most part.(there was one loop hole site I found when typing in two words together that had a calache of moving images of nude women but no videos and selling health items)
My answers were rather vague because "nothing is full proof" though the bible,church,and simple values definitely help.

Changing home pages does Nothing. All he has to do is type in google.com and search there. Your suggestion is the equivalent of telling someone to shut the fridge door to keep the alcoholic from drinking.

Site blocker apps would be more effective. There are a plethora to choose from.

 

[SovereignGrace]

Your son is getting to the age where he will have hormones flying all through him. He is not a boy, but also not a man, in regards to his hormones. He will be edgy, as we all were when those hormones kicked in.

Others have given you sound advice. As they have already said, prayer and seek His guidance. Keep all the computers out of private rooms such as bedrooms, attics, basements, &c.

I hate that ppl can't whip their children. I said whip, not beat them. There's a huge difference. Anyhoo, I will be praying for you and your whole family.

If he does tell you who told him how to access that which he watched, you need to contact those kids' parents and let them know this is going on. Odds are those kids are just as guilty in doing what you son was doing.

 

[kaijo]

Society today is hell bent on over sexualizing anything and everything.
Its in TV shows, Cartoons, Movies, Games, Music videos, Images of every kind where you least expect it etc.

I dont see how anyone could possibly blame him while seducing spirits run rampant throughout society in every part of the world today.

Women are without a doubt the most beautiful thing on this earth, through a males eyes. Thats how God created them to be. And with the way that Media expliots the beauty of a woman, who here can possibly call themselves innocent of lust / adultery...whether in actuality, or in the heart?

Heck, even the angels themselves were subdued by the beauty of woman.

So, dont go too hard on a 10 year old boy.

 

[Pontiac]

It is a very good sign that you are concerned for your son over this behavior ... I realize your country may have laws that contradict with what the Bible says ... My country has many such laws of it's own ... However, I will always have to agree with the Bible over the laws of any country and would advise some sort of discipline for him ... Maybe not for this act, but at some point you may need to spank him for something ... Regarding this act, it is good to note that King David sent a soldier to the front line during battle so he would die so David could then have his wife ... Also that King Solomon had 700 wives ... So, lust is an extremely powerful temptation to have affected the two wisest Kings in the Bible in such a manner ...

I would recommend some sort of punishment for the boy, but not necessarily a spanking ... As another person suggested, I think he mostly needs a good talking to and some things explained to him ... It may be a good idea to explain to him that sex is to be saved for when he truly finds a girl he loves and gets married ... And I would explain to him that it is only going to harm him to be looking at pornography ... I believe he has a good father or you would not have asked for help with this ... With a father like yourself, I think he will grow up to be a fine young man ... You are right to want to discipline him and teach him ... I believe God will guide you in exactly what to do since you have prayed to Him ...

 

[lightbearer]

Hi Brother,

Do explain to your son why Porn is wrong, so he can confess his sins, receive forgiveness and repent from it.

Ask your son how did he learn about this? From friends, family members?

Is he curious about human sexuality? How it works? Is it the right age to tell him? Use Bible stories to show him that sex is made between marriage partners.

Amen! Prayer is key too. Understanding is important. Explain why it is wrong and what sexual immorality leads to.

 

[Miri]

11 year old boys can be gross, just watch a group of that age together.

They laugh, giggle over naughty jokes, dare each other to do rude things
egg each other on, say rude things to girls.

Chances are he has heard things at school and is curious and/or wants something
to brag about to his friends to be part of the in crowd. It doesn’t mean that
he is a bad kid. The only difference between you and him is that you
didnt have the internet. Instead it was probably top shelf magazines!

Best thing you can do is to teach him about respecting himself and
respecting girls. Talk to him about sex, educate him in the way you
want him to be educated. Answers his questions without embarrassment;
and did I say teach him to respect his own body and that of girls!

He is going to hear all about this from something or someone.
It’s best that it comes from you.

If you don’t answer his questions and/or he doesn’t feel comfortable talking
to you. Then he is going to get his sex education from his peers and the
Internet. So it’s best to develope that good buddy fatherly figure you
can ask me anything attitude, if you haven’t done so already.

 

[preacher4truth]

That's pretty young, IMO, to be interested in porn. Girls? Yes. Porn? Not so much. I say yes about girls but there are some who are of his age who still have not come to that interest level yet for girls, but it is just around the corner. That he is into porn so early is concerning.

Something has caused or sparked this interest at such a young age and it would serve you well to investigate as to what has triggered it. Some counsel may help.

Don't feel bad for your anger, as others are hitting you over it, it is a just anger at this point.

Yes, shut down all avenues of access to electronic devices, and do what you can to make the school aware of what he is doing. Hopefully there will be enough concern there to put an end to his access at school. If it were me, there would be no going to friends houses for quite a while, no friends coming over until you all get to the bottom of this.

Take this situation very very seriously, and we will pray for you all.