I have been married for nine years and were going through a separation and hurting me there is so much that had happened and my husband decided to throw in the towel its v affecting our entire house him being gone I do know I pushed him away with the fighting he says he loves me but can't do it anymore I'm just praying but I miss him and so do the kids
I not sure anymore
- Thread starter loverofJesus82
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If you cannot find someway to rectify your relationship, your children are going to be the ones to suffer the most ... That is the worst part about a broken marriage ... The children are likely to suffer for many years if not their entire lives ... You and your husband need to know this and embed it into the front of your minds ... Not saying you can repair matters ... Just saying if you don't the kids are going to pay the highest price of all ... They need both a mom and a dad ...
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Are you reading your Bible and asking God to help you ? ... Pray to Him ... If you try to do good for yourself and your children He will hear and help you ... God promises to hear those who seek Him and He is no liar ... You're going to need a Christian man to help you raise those children properly ...
Better go shopping for a good dad? Is the dad store online or is it a chain? Introducing father figures to children that they may potentially bond with and then leave is one of the worst things you can do to them. They have a dad, he just isn’t living with them. Lover of Jesus, what are you not sure about? How did you push him away? If you identify that maybe you can pull him back in again. Men aren’t overly complicated creatures. He can’t be happy with the situation either. Most men by nature are fixers. Is it something that can be fixed? Do you have unresolved issues that make you act out or take things out on him. Without him around are the children going to now be a target? Women by nature need to feel loved and appreciated. I have four teenagers and can tell you that you won’t get that need filled from them. If your actions/reactions are part of the problem you need to realize that we do not need to act on our emotions. They are a manifestation of chemical messengers (hormones) that for the most part are just animalistic survival programs. Your meat/body is not who you are. This is what Christ unchained us from. Every action is a decision to listen to the promptings of the flesh...or the “soul/spirit”. Be in charge of your body. You steer the vehicle. If you are driving your car and a bump makes it jerk to the left, do you let it drive off the road? No! Your body is no different, if something makes you happy, sad, angry, peaceful, lustful, indifferent, or whatever, those are all just chemicals that set in motion instinctive behaviour. You make the decision to act upon the impulses because you are an intelligent individual. Everything is a choice! Choose wisely.
I'm so sorry you are going through this. At times like these it's important to remember Romans 8:28.
One of the revelations the Lord showed me yrs ago regarding my marriage, is the truth that I cannot control the thoughts, actions, and reactions of my wife. I can only control MY thoughts, actions, and reactions. I must do what the Lord calls and instructs me to do, and let HIM do a work in my wife. Our relationship, although not perfect, took a drastic turn for the good when that happened.
If you want to reconcile, that would be my advice. You be the Godly wife the Lord has called you to be, and let God work on your husband.
Dear Lord, help this family put YOU as the center of their marriage NOT each other. Open their eyes to the gift each one is to the other, seeing the beauty, and NOT the flaws. Protect the children from any emotional harm, and please reunite this family with devotion and love to each other, but especially to you. In Jesus Name I pray.
One of the revelations the Lord showed me yrs ago regarding my marriage, is the truth that I cannot control the thoughts, actions, and reactions of my wife. I can only control MY thoughts, actions, and reactions. I must do what the Lord calls and instructs me to do, and let HIM do a work in my wife. Our relationship, although not perfect, took a drastic turn for the good when that happened.
If you want to reconcile, that would be my advice. You be the Godly wife the Lord has called you to be, and let God work on your husband.
Dear Lord, help this family put YOU as the center of their marriage NOT each other. Open their eyes to the gift each one is to the other, seeing the beauty, and NOT the flaws. Protect the children from any emotional harm, and please reunite this family with devotion and love to each other, but especially to you. In Jesus Name I pray.
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Of course reconciliation would be the best remedy if possible ... However, the young lady has stated the man has "already left and thrown in the towel" ... So, I recommended she find a Christian man to help her raise her children ... Why would you attack and insult someone like you have that was offering biblical advice unto another ? ...
^But it's awful advice. "Rush straight into the next relationship" "just for the sake of the children"
What could possibly go wrong?
"Christian husbands" don't grow on trees. Especially not ones wanting to take on a ready-made family right away. That advice is just applying more pressure to "produce a new father" to an already distressed person. Compounds the problem.
What could possibly go wrong?
"Christian husbands" don't grow on trees. Especially not ones wanting to take on a ready-made family right away. That advice is just applying more pressure to "produce a new father" to an already distressed person. Compounds the problem.
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OP:
Thank you for sharing with us.
I see Tommy's point. Just because your husband decided to throw in the towel doesn't mean that you should do the same. You both have to consider your children. You have to work to bring your husband back to you and he has to be convinced and persuaded that your marriage is worth saving. Seek the Lord's will in all things.
Blessings to all of you.
Thank you for sharing with us.
I see Tommy's point. Just because your husband decided to throw in the towel doesn't mean that you should do the same. You both have to consider your children. You have to work to bring your husband back to you and he has to be convinced and persuaded that your marriage is worth saving. Seek the Lord's will in all things.
Blessings to all of you.
The best route is always the route of humility. Own (Confess) whatever your part is in the relationship and be humble. If and when you are able to grow and trust in God and show deep love for your husband, he will probably respond in kind.
I know this is not the easy path - and I am sure your husband has not done well with you -- but from what I sense in your writing the marriage can still be reconciled - but someone will have to be humble.
Not an easy path - but one I have had to walk myself . . . and am still in process
I know this is not the easy path - and I am sure your husband has not done well with you -- but from what I sense in your writing the marriage can still be reconciled - but someone will have to be humble.
Not an easy path - but one I have had to walk myself . . . and am still in process
About 2 years ago we went through a season of fighting which lead him to leave and have an affair he came back 2 months later wanting to work things out I was happy to blender I wasn't prepared for the rage hurt and anger or devistation I would go through we decided to renew our vows in the church but I couldn't let go and let God heal the wounds I was expecting my husband to fix it but now I realize only God could do that so there was so much fighting I caused I admit and he said he had enough and left its been 2 weeks and a few days the Lord has alien to me and b revealed things I was doing I repented but I don't know what's going to happen I am a Christian but my flesh says let him go but my spirit tell me this isn't what God wants for my marriage so here I am