Gentlemen: what "lady skills" make her more attractive to you?

[Jullianna]

Okay, eugenious, here's the thread you wanted to see! Let's hear it, gentlemen! Your turn. (can't wait to read these, can you, ladies??? *snicker, snicker*)

 

[zeroturbulence]

Ok, what would make a woman more attractive to me are these skills/traits:

- not overly obsessed with housekeeping and neatness

- is fairly athletic

- is fairly well organized

- is responsible or at least tries hard to be, in all aspects of her life (her finances, her health, her job, etc.)

- has read the Gospels and has a good basic understanding of them

- is willing to accept my faults (as I would be willing to accept hers)

- loves being around kids

- can cook italian and american dishes (I like to cook too)

- can find beauty in almost anything

- likes old love songs from the 70's

- finds pleasure in the simple things in life

- likes airshows and car races

- likes the beach

- likes ridiculous funny movies (something about mary, big, dumb and dumber, etc..)

- appreciates art, poetry, live music, photography

- likes cuddling and back massages

 

[NukePooch]

Hmmm...I would think that the 'lady skills' that I find most attractive seem to be inversely related to my shortcomings... (Of course, God designed women to complement men in this way...I'm not complaining!)

For instance, women seem to be better at multitasking than me, this is a good thing. I tend to only have one thing at a time on my mind...anything else gets put on the back burner.

I also like women who aren't afraid of silence...aren't afraid of change and new challenges...able to be somewhere on time...someone who doesn't spend an inordinate amount of time on her appearance...

I think of all of the 'lady skills', however, one stands out...it's very difficult to find in all womenkind, so if I find one....she's a keeper. I'm talking about the ability to look at what I happen to be wearing at the time, and simply say something like "That's fine..." or "Let's go..."
(yes, I dress in the dark...)

Other than that, I agree with most of the things suggested by zeroturbulence, except....I'm not concerned with athleticism, 70's love songs (I'd prefer a girl who knows how to headbang...), and the beach....

 

[Jennifleur]

So, Zero, when you say back massages, do you mean willing to receive back massages, or give them? Lol.

 

[Jullianna]

Ok, what would make a woman more attractive to me are these skills/traits:

- not overly obsessed with housekeeping and neatness

- is fairly athletic

- is fairly well organized

- is responsible or at least tries hard to be, in all aspects of her life (her finances, her health, her job, etc.)

- has read the Gospels and has a good basic understanding of them

- is willing to accept my faults (as I would be willing to accept hers)

- loves being around kids

- can cook italian and american dishes (I like to cook too)

- can find beauty in almost anything

- likes old love songs from the 70's

- finds pleasure in the simple things in life

- likes airshows and car races

- likes the beach

- likes ridiculous funny movies (something about mary, big, dumb and dumber, etc..)

- appreciates art, poetry, live music, photography

- likes cuddling and back massages

DEFINE: not overly obsessed with housekeeping and neatness

This definition may vary by gender. haha I think I'd probably flunk this one. I have a thing going on with Febreeze Mr Clean.

 

[Jullianna]

Hmmm...I would think that the 'lady skills' that I find most attractive seem to be inversely related to my shortcomings... (Of course, God designed women to complement men in this way...I'm not complaining!)

For instance, women seem to be better at multitasking than me, this is a good thing. I tend to only have one thing at a time on my mind...anything else gets put on the back burner.

I also like women who aren't afraid of silence...aren't afraid of change and new challenges...able to be somewhere on time...someone who doesn't spend an inordinate amount of time on her appearance...

I think of all of the 'lady skills', however, one stands out...it's very difficult to find in all womenkind, so if I find one....she's a keeper. I'm talking about the ability to look at what I happen to be wearing at the time, and simply say something like "That's fine..." or "Let's go..."
(yes, I dress in the dark...)

Other than that, I agree with most of the things suggested by zeroturbulence, except....I'm not concerned with athleticism, 70's love songs (I'd prefer a girl who knows how to headbang...), and the beach....

I went to the premier of a friend's amateur film a year or so ago and there was a headbanger opening the show. After the first 5 minutes, I and some friends were texting prayer requests to one another to MAKE IT STOP

 

[zeroturbulence]

So, Zero, when you say back massages, do you mean willing to receive back massages, or give them? Lol.

Definitely receiving since i love giving them

 

[zeroturbulence]

DEFINE: not overly obsessed with housekeeping and neatness

This definition may vary by gender. haha I think I'd probably flunk this one. I have a thing going on with Febreeze Mr Clean.

I mean someone who gets upset if I leave a bag of chips on the kitchen table instead of putting it in the pantry, or if I leave two tiny, barely visible bread crumbs on the table. Someone who is OCD about cleanliness. That sort of thing drives me nuts because thats how my mom used to be. I definitely value cleanliness and neatness, in fact thats two of the reasons I became a pharmacy tech. But lets face it, no one wants someone on their back constantly about it when they're at home.

 

[Jullianna]

I mean someone who gets upset if I leave a bag of chips on the kitchen table instead of putting it in the pantry, or if I leave two tiny, barely visible bread crumbs on the table. Someone who is OCD about cleanliness. That sort of thing drives me nuts because thats how my mom used to be. I definitely value cleanliness and neatness, in fact thats two of the reasons I became a pharmacy tech. But lets face it, no one wants someone on their back constantly about it when they're at home.

Gotcha! That IS obsessive! wow.....

I babysat my 7 yr old nephew this past weekend (I'd forgotten how painful stepping on Matchbox cars could be in the middle of the night and my dog ate one of his socks, but there were no other casualties). It was actually kinda cool to make a mess for a change! lol

I am tho, I must confess, a compulsive cleaner. I don't ever say anything or complain, I just clean without realizing I'm doing it.

EXAMPLES:

1. I went to a guy's class reunion with him once. Since I didn't know anyone, I decided to just wait in the foyer for him while he stopped in the restroom for a minute. I'd been sitting next to one of those fabric covered walls and when he came back he was laughing at me because I'd been pulling lint off of the wall while I sat there. He reminded me that they probably had someone to handle that.

2. People leave messes (staples, trash, etc.) in the common areas at my office. I'm trying to break myself from this habit, so early in the day I'll tell myself that I'm not the cleaning lady and I'm not going to clean that up.....but....later in the day, while I'm mulling over a case I'm working on and waiting for my copies to finish....I realize that I've been cleaning up the copy room while I was waiting. I've even cleaned the bathrooms and kitchen at my office. They just smile and let me go. LOL

Nervous habit I guess...

 

[seoulsearch]

*Tentatively looks over the lists of requirements.*

If this is what it takes (as in, do you have to be something like 80% of the list all at once? 95%? Can I slide by with just 15%?), Seoulsearch will obviously be single for a very long time.

(Maybe I'm just afraid to state what I do and do not qualify here for fear of backlash, not that that's ever stopped me before!)

 

[DABEARS85]

She needs to have skills... like nunchucku skills, bowhunting skills, computer hacking skills.... guys only want girlfriends with skills.

 

[DABEARS85]

I mean someone who gets upset if I leave a bag of chips on the kitchen table instead of putting it in the pantry, or if I leave two tiny, barely visible bread crumbs on the table. Someone who is OCD about cleanliness. That sort of thing drives me nuts because thats how my mom used to be. I definitely value cleanliness and neatness, in fact thats two of the reasons I became a pharmacy tech. But lets face it, no one wants someone on their back constantly about it when they're at home.

I AGREE WITH THIS COMPLETELY!!!!

WOW! You hit the nail on the head!

I remember when I lived with one of my exes for a year. That was the first and last time I was willing to live with a girl before I married her. Even then, I'm afraid to get married from it! Women are NAGGING OBSESSIVE PSYCHOTICS!

Let me put it into perspective. I paid all the bills. I paid the rent, which was over $1200 a month, I paid the utilities, the cable/internet, apartment/homeowners insurance, everything. I paid for the dog. I paid for the vet bills. I even paid for almost all of the furniture.

What did she pay for? Groceries. What did she complain about everyday? How much she was paying for Groceries.

Anyone else see a problem here? I did! She would NAG NAG NAG nonstop about things like taking the trash out or washing the dishes... putting the toilet seat down... turning the TV/lights off if I left. Anything and everything she could NAG about it would happen.

I just never really understood (still don't) why women nag so much. The relationship ended for other reasons, but the fact remains... she would start fights and get under my skin because she wouldn't just let me relax in my own home! I paid all the bills and yet she still seemed to think I needed to take the trash out nonstop, do the dishes, everything. I told her I pay the bills, so leave me alone. I said the garbage wasn't going to blow up the house if it sat there for 5 minutes longer than she wanted it to. I told her the dishes weren't going to dissolve in the sink if they weren't cleaned immediately. She would freak out when I said that. I just didn't understand why I couldn't come home and enjoy myself and relax after work, instead of her completely ruining my day with her nagging. Women are so emotional!

Also, if I didn't cuddle with her while she watched some stupid TV show that she knew I hated, she would think I was being distant and uncaring. I'm all fine with cuddle time, but not 24/7. I need my space. I would go into another room and jump on the computer or something, and she would think I'm ignoring her. I guess she didn't seem to realize that living together doesn't mean you have to spent 24 hours a day together! Also, if she went to bed at 10 pm, she would expect me to go to bed with her at 10 pm to cuddle so she could sleep. I wouldn't do that of course, because sometimes I would get off work at 8 pm. I wanted some alone time before I went to bed. I guess she couldn't handle that.

Anyway, between the neediness and the nagging... it was hell!

Can any of you women explain to me why women are like that? I've never really understood it. Why do some women just nag nag nag nag nag nonstop? Why are they so needy, even if they see their significant other all the time? Why don't women give space? It just feels like women are so selfish in a lot of ways. I would have to give in to her and do what she wanted, or I would either A) get yelled at or B) get the silent treatment. Either way, it was so selfish in my eyes. I needed some free time and some space away from her, and she would get upset because of that. Even my grandmother told me one day (who was married for 50+ years, until my grandpa passed away) that when you live together, you need to give each other space. You both need hobbies and alone time to stay sane. I remember telling my ex gf that when we lived together, and she got all upset. Needless to say, that relationship didn't work out, but it still makes me pretty wary about ever moving in with a girl again.

Obviously, doing it before marriage is a very bad idea, but at the same respects, I didn't know she was like that UNTIL I lived with her! That scares me so much with marriage now. I don't wanna marry a girl that I think is completely amazing, and then I move in with her and it turns into that again. I completely believe that you really don't know someone until you live with them. It doesn't matter how much time you spend with them... you don't truly know them until you move in. Once you do that, you see all the bad things about who they are that you either didn't know about before, or you ignored because it didn't affect you.

Sooo... what am I getting at with all this?

The lady "skills" that I need from a girl is her ability to give space, and her ability to not nag. If I don't take out the trash immediately when you want me to, get over it. Do it yourself if you want it done right then and there. I'm not your slave, and I certainly don't owe a girl anything when I pay all the bills. If all a girl pays for is groceries and yet complains about it, it kind of makes me wonder how she feels justified in that. She even tried telling me one day that SHE paid for everything and I was lazy, because she paid for all these groceries. She didn't seem to realize that I was paying well over 2 grand a month on just living expenses there alone. That never mattered to her amazing logic, because her $300 grocery bill was by far and away more important hahaha


Ahhh, I always get into these long posts about stories from my past! Blah... I apologize! Anyway... yeah... two skills a "lady" needs: No nagging, and no nagging. Oh, and no nagging. And possibly, give a little space so her man can feel free, instead of a prisoner in his own home attached to a ball and chain!

 

[Jennifleur]

I like things to be clean, but I'm not obsessive about cleanliness. The chips being left out wouldn't bother me, unless the bag had been left open as well. Stale chips are gross, lol. The one thing that would drive me crazy is if I was expected to do it all. The toilet seat being left up would only make me mad if I woke up in the middle of the night, half-asleep, and stumbled into the bathroom and...well, you get the idea. And I've had it happen before, lol.

Leaving things out and getting criticized for it is a sore spot with me. My dad used to complain all the time about how "we kids" would do just that when we were younger (I always put things away; it's a habit for me - I clean up after myself in the kitchen), but then he does the exact same thing. I still live at home, and when I help to clean up the kitchen, I'm always putting away things he uses. It really bothers me when it is something that needs to be in the fridge/freezer. For instance, he had ice cream the other night, and then went to bed, leaving it sitting on the kitchen counter. I ended up having to put it away. So, I wouldn't complain about a bag of chips on the counter, but I do have a problem being criticized for the very thing that someone else does, especially when I'm the one who takes care of their messes. Hypocrisy just bugs me. Lol.

So, I'm not OCD about things being clean, but if both the guy and the girl work, then both should be responsible for taking care of the house. If one of them stays at home and doesn't work, then it should be their responsibility to do most of the things at home. Just my two cents, whatever they're worth.

 

[DABEARS85]

So, I'm not OCD about things being clean, but if both the guy and the girl work, then both should be responsible for taking care of the house. If one of them stays at home and doesn't work, then it should be their responsibility to do most of the things at home. Just my two cents, whatever they're worth.

I agree,except when the guy pays for everything, the woman really should leave him alone. Asking the guy to do something is fine, but NAGGING completely gets under my skin. That's my question, because I don't understand how women find it justified or even good whatsoever. Why do you women nag?

I mean... when I paid for EVERYTHING, I never understood how she could ever possibly yell at me for not taking out the garbage. She would leave to go to work and then say "hunnie take out the garbage before I get home." If I didn't do it, all hell broke loose.

The problem is, if I don't want to take out the garbage in my own home that I pay for, I should be allowed to not take it out until I feel like it. A woman has no right to nag at the man for not being her slave and doing everything she wants on HER time frame. That is the problem I have with it. I'll do things on my own time frame, not a girls. If she doesn't like it, then take out the garbage yourself!

Women expect men to be their slaves when it comes to household chores. They always want things done on their own time instead of when the man wants to do it. If I wanted to be lazy, I was going to be lazy! I paid all the bills. I went to work so that she could even live there. She didn't pay for anything except groceries, and yet she still had the nerve to complain about it. Apparently, women seem to think that its ok for the man to pay all the bills, do everything possible for her to have a place to live, and then also should be her slave and do everything she wants on her time. Women are the most selfish creatures in the world

 

[phil36]

Maybe, just being who she is, not feeling forced to be some role model of this type or another. Oh, and most important wanting to be who God wants her to be, basically a woman who seeks after Jesus above all things, including her husband. Now that is what I call real 'Lady skills'. All the rest are periphial. Mind you I think 'lady Skills' should involve being able to cook with a microwave.. ha ha.

Blessings

Phil

 

[seoulsearch]

Women are the most selfish creatures in the world

She needs to have skills... like nunchucku skills, bowhunting skills, computer hacking skills.... guys only want girlfriends with skills.

I'm thinking... out of all the skills mentioned... the nunchuck skills are the ones I need to practice most, so I have something semi-threatening to throw at a guy who calls me selfish and lazy.

It goes both ways, as I think we all know. I've only had four relationships in my life, and each time, I wound up supporting the guy involved, including paying for things like court cases, childcare, and everyday expenses for the kids... seeing as the father only wanted a woman in his life to be able to take on chugging pints of schnapps and Bacardi full-time (about two a day.) With kids involved, I felt like I had to take care of them. So now when I try to tell people I need a guy in my life who is financially responsible (notice, NOT rich, but RESPONSIBLE), there is a lot of accusations of being materialistic. Not true!!

Just trying to make better choices and avoid the death trap of my own bleeding heart!!!

 

[seoulsearch]

Oh, and just to clarify, I meant to say, I was paying for all the expenses of HIS kids, seeing as I do not have any children of my own--just so that someone doesn't misunderstand and think I am complaining about paying for my own kids--of course, if I had kids I would take care of them, but this was a situation in which the mother had died a year before I ever entered the picture (and truthfully, I should have stayed as far away from the framework as possible).

The kids were wonderful--the father was someone who was never going to change and used everyone around him for his addictions. I wrote this in another post--at one point, I had thought of marrying and then divorcing him so I could have full custody of the kids myself (yes, I know this is terrible thinking but at the time, your mind is cracking into tiny pieces all at once and you're not sure what to do.) He was drunk from the time he got up to the time he passed out at night, and I couldn't be with the kids 24/7 to make sure they were safe. There was one time when they had come over to my house during the day and when I got there, he was passed out on the couch... and the kids had climbed onto the counters and gotten into some bottles of medicine. This was the father's daily routine--get up, drink, drink, drink... pass out at night. He wasn't as bad when I met him--he was working full-time, believed in God, and very involved with AA, which is why I kept an open mind. Major mistake!! As soon as he had someone responsible in his life, even the small efforts he was making went out the window.

It was three years of pure hell... as were my other relationships as well.

*pats DABEARS on the back* You're not the only one who's been put through the ringer!!

For all the good Christian guys out there... and us good Christian girls who are waiting for you or vice versa... I hope God opens ALL of our heart to the right person He has for us. One good thing about waiting so long is that I know I'm going to appreciate him all the more when I find him because of all the hell of my own past choices!

 

[BananaPie]

She needs to have skills... like nunchucku skills, bowhunting skills, computer hacking skills.... guys only want girlfriends with skills.

Like, sweet! Napoleon.

...can't stop giggling... Thank you, brother, for the nice humor you have.

 

[NukePooch]

Well, Jullianna, I did say that I would prefer to fall for a headbanging girl, but I could accept someone who liked 70's love songs...I'd even buy her a nice pair of headphones.

On the severe cleanliness/OCD discussion, I'd like to expand it to anything that achieves OCD levels of attention. Someone who I am attracted to tends to be well-rounded in all kinds of various things. Anyone who has a ______ fixation causes all manner of alarm bells to start ringing in my head. Someone who has a dog? Super. Two dogs? Fine-n-dandy. Fourteen dogs, thirty-seven stuffed dogs in the living room, eighty-four and a half ceramic dogs arranged in whimsical lifelike scenes upon the mantel? Issue...as in professional-help issue.

 

[BananaPie]

...well, when Adam was by himself in the garden of Eden talking with God, Adam asked, "Lord, you have made all these wonderful animals, delicious nuts and fruits, and beautiful flowers and trees; You've given all this beauty to me for free, yet, Lord I still don't have anybody to talk to. How much would it cost me to enjoy a beautiful woman, one who will obey me, cuddle with me, loyal to me, good cook, lets me work naming all these animals, and lets me rest when I'm tired?

God responded, "Well, Adam, that's going to cost you an arm, a leg and an eye."

"Okay," said Adam, "in that case, what can I get for a rib?"