Internet, attention, illusions, hope and disappointment.

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

razor17

Senior Member
Aug 16, 2017
192
23
18
#21
So if I say "stalker no stalking" 3 times a stalker would leave me alone?
theoretically or as I say you can solve 99% of problems with a tazer.....from your awesome source of advice da one and only razor :p

the caveat is you have to wear a purple backpack and have a pet monkey with red boots otherwise it wont work ....
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,153
113
#22
I don't think people are on the same page as to what flirting is.
 
J

joefizz

Guest
#23
So if I say "stalker no stalking" 3 times a stalker would leave me alone?
hmmm I wonder what would happen if an individual and their stalker stalked each other,then what????
 

razor17

Senior Member
Aug 16, 2017
192
23
18
#24
flirting is fleeting....

upfront truth is sexy...... ;)
 

razor17

Senior Member
Aug 16, 2017
192
23
18
#25
hmmm I wonder what would happen if an individual and their stalker stalked each other,then what????

the question is in jack and the bean stalk....was jack stalking the bean plant or was the bean plant stalking jack?
 
J

joefizz

Guest
#29
the question is in jack and the bean stalk....was jack stalking the bean plant or was the bean plant stalking jack?
Sounds "corny" either way!:cool:
 

razor17

Senior Member
Aug 16, 2017
192
23
18
#30
well since there is a page on flirting....is there a chapter, a book, a volume set? i need to find out now....
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,153
113
#31
what pray tell on God's green Earth is flirting then?
I don't know, but if people are to be for or against it, I think it should be established what it is.
 
T

toinena

Guest
#32
In Jane Austen novels dropping a hankie was hard core flirting. I am not sure if it works now.
 

razor17

Senior Member
Aug 16, 2017
192
23
18
#33
In Jane Austen novels dropping a hankie was hard core flirting. I am not sure if it works now.
so should we just throw bounty paper towels on the floor and expect a magic s.o. to pop out of nowhere and say "I love you"? :p
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
10,464
2,692
113
#34
Whatever flirting is, I never knew how to do it until after getting in a relationship lol
 

maxwel

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2013
9,526
2,608
113
#35
What are your thoughts on this?
It's not something I really think about... but if some people are concerned about it, then we should discuss it.


Do you act like the true you online?

I don't have the energy for 2 personalities.
:)
I have one very flawed "me", and that's all I have time for, lol.


Have you ever been disappointed in someone not being who they say they are?

I think this is something that occurs in all areas of life, not just online.
Humans are fallen, and so they deceive, in all kinds of ways.
This isn't something mysterious, and it isn't something peculiar to the internet.

If we study the Bible, we'll find all of mankind's deceptions discussed, and we'll also find that God tells us how to deal with it, and how to see through it.

My solution is a lot of Bible study.

With a lot of Bible study, and reflection, you can usually find the problems in people's own words, and you can usually parse out the disparities between their words and their actions.


Have you ever craved attention and misinterpreted the attention you got?

This is probably two separate questions.

1.
I think we've all craved attention at times, some more than others... that's just human nature.
This isn't strange.
It's normal for a human to need the companionship and attention of other humans.
Remember what God says in Genesis, "It is not good that man should be alone."
But there is a difference between "desiring" to have friends and companionship (and the inherent attention that comes with that), and CRAVING attention in ways that become unhealthy, obsessive, or dangerous to us.I think it's all a matter of degree.
2.
I think it's also human nature to sometimes misinterpret the attention we get.
I don't think this is strange or mysterious.
Sometimes we misunderstand innocent things, and sometimes people intentionally fool us and we don't catch it.
But this is all pretty normal, and common, to human experience.


Is it OK to flirt with people without any intentions of getting to know that person romantically?


I think this gets into a very complicated can of worms, and this all gets complicated for 2 reasons:

1. FLIRTING: Here we get into definitions and semantics: how does each individual choose to define "flirt", or "getting to know" or "romance".

(People have very different views on what constitutes flirting. Like it or not, this is a reality. Sometimes people even do it subconsciously, not even realizing the impression they're giving off.)

2. INTENTIONS: As far as "intentions", sometimes people aren't even sure why they do things... and the bible says our own hearts can deceive us.

(People very often say things, and they aren't at all sure why they said them. If you doubt this at all, just starting asking people, "Why did you say THAT?", and you'll quickly find people often have no idea. And if they do give an answer, it will often be something entirely implausible... showing that they really don't know.)

What if the flirting IS intentional, and it IS meant to deceive or manipulate in some way?
Well then that's obviously a problem.
We should never, intentionally, do things to deceive or hurt other people.
This speaks for itself.
If this is done intentionally, then there is no debate.
We should never intentionally try to deceive people.

I will add the caveat that sometimes people just do stupid things, and their intentions are therefore misunderstood.



Do you have any advice you would like to share with your other CC-ers?

1. Study the Bible: it will give lots of information on human nature, psychology, and deception.

The Bible helps us to understand ourselves, as well as others, and it helps us to avoid deception.


2. Humans quite often misunderstand each other, for a wide variety of reasons... be aware this happens, try to spot it, and try to understand the cause.

If you can remember this happens, and that it happens with GREAT frequency... you'll be standing on firm ground from which to look around and assess things.




In Closing - Just How Easy a Misunderstanding can Occur:

A. I recently made a comedy thread, a "parody" of another thread, and I was certain it would be easily seen as a harmless parody.
B. This parody was designed, very specifically, as a bit of surreal and absurd antithesis to this particular antecedent thread.
C. I meant only to give everyone a harmless laugh through a bit of harmless silliness.
D. I was very careful to make each post in my thread extremely silly, and comical, so it would only be seen as a bit of humor and parody.
E. Nonetheless, my thread created some confusion with some very nice people.
F. How did this happen?
G. The main problem was that, unknown to me, I made a parody of an antecedent thread which was, itself, a parody or joke about something else!
F. So rather than making a parody of something clear and understood, I accidentally made a parody of something which was already entirely confusing!
G. So, while intending to create a clear parody of something which was quite clear, I actually just created some strange death spiral of confusion upon confusion.
H. I contacted the parties involved, directly, and did my best to clear up any confusion.
I. It was never my intention to mislead or confuse anyone, and yet I still managed to do that.
:)

* I try to be extremely careful and articulate, and even with so much meticulous attention, it's still easy to confuse others, and to be misunderstood.
* I think this is a good example of just how easy it is to misunderstand each other, and how careful, and thoughtful, we all need to be.
: )





 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,153
113
#36
In Jane Austen novels dropping a hankie was hard core flirting. I am not sure if it works now.
Yeah. That is probably a good example. I don't know that it serves the purpose of creating a sexual tension.

I get my arse, right on top of my head, over what some people view certain activities as now.

It's kinda like when people talk about dating. They say stuff like:
"I can't date someone unless I know them first."
Where I come from, the purpose of dating is to get to know someone.
Or
"Dating isn't Christian."
Has the word "date" replaced an established moment in time, or the word "coitus?"

Personally I think flirting is just a form of manipulation. I know that sounds really bad, but manipulation isn't always negative.

Flirting is mostly used to make both parties in an interaction, respond positively. It helps both be more agreeable to each other. Same thing as the sweet talk.

I have had old ladies, when I've been in the nursing home, drop things in front of me on purpose. I'm glad I could help make them happy.
 

razor17

Senior Member
Aug 16, 2017
192
23
18
#37
well since people are lazy to define it...here is good old youtube....

pretty much said what I said with more of a robotic woman voice and lengthy definition.....

[video=youtube;t7ao1T86NQQ]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7ao1T86NQQ[/video]
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,153
113
#38
well since people are lazy to define it...here is good old youtube....

pretty much said what I said with more of a robotic woman voice and lengthy definition.....

[video=youtube;t7ao1T86NQQ]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7ao1T86NQQ[/video]
Her voice was annoying.
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,153
113
#40
What are your thoughts on this?
It's not something I really think about... but if some people are concerned about it, then we should discuss it.


Do you act like the true you online?

I don't have the energy for 2 personalities.
:)
I have one very flawed "me", and that's all I have time for, lol.


Have you ever been disappointed in someone not being who they say they are?

I think this is something that occurs in all areas of life, not just online.
Humans are fallen, and so they deceive, in all kinds of ways.
This isn't something mysterious, and it isn't something peculiar to the internet.

If we study the Bible, we'll find all of mankind's deceptions discussed, and we'll also find that God tells us how to deal with it, and how to see through it.

My solution is a lot of Bible study.

With a lot of Bible study, and reflection, you can usually find the problems in people's own words, and you can usually parse out the disparities between their words and their actions.


Have you ever craved attention and misinterpreted the attention you got?

This is probably two separate questions.

1.
I think we've all craved attention at times, some more than others... that's just human nature.
This isn't strange.
It's normal for a human to need the companionship and attention of other humans.
Remember what God says in Genesis, "It is not good that man should be alone."
But there is a difference between "desiring" to have friends and companionship (and the inherent attention that comes with that), and CRAVING attention in ways that become unhealthy, obsessive, or dangerous to us.I think it's all a matter of degree.
2.
I think it's also human nature to sometimes misinterpret the attention we get.
I don't think this is strange or mysterious.
Sometimes we misunderstand innocent things, and sometimes people intentionally fool us and we don't catch it.
But this is all pretty normal, and common, to human experience.


Is it OK to flirt with people without any intentions of getting to know that person romantically?


I think this gets into a very complicated can of worms, and this all gets complicated for 2 reasons:

1. FLIRTING: Here we get into definitions and semantics: how does each individual choose to define "flirt", or "getting to know" or "romance".

(People have very different views on what constitutes flirting. Like it or not, this is a reality. Sometimes people even do it subconsciously, not even realizing the impression they're giving off.)

2. INTENTIONS: As far as "intentions", sometimes people aren't even sure why they do things... and the bible says our own hearts can deceive us.

(People very often say things, and they aren't at all sure why they said them. If you doubt this at all, just starting asking people, "Why did you say THAT?", and you'll quickly find people often have no idea. And if they do give an answer, it will often be something entirely implausible... showing that they really don't know.)

What if the flirting IS intentional, and it IS meant to deceive or manipulate in some way?
Well then that's obviously a problem.
We should never, intentionally, do things to deceive or hurt other people.
This speaks for itself.
If this is done intentionally, then there is no debate.
We should never intentionally try to deceive people.

I will add the caveat that sometimes people just do stupid things, and their intentions are therefore misunderstood.



Do you have any advice you would like to share with your other CC-ers?

1. Study the Bible: it will give lots of information on human nature, psychology, and deception.

The Bible helps us to understand ourselves, as well as others, and it helps us to avoid deception.


2. Humans quite often misunderstand each other, for a wide variety of reasons... be aware this happens, try to spot it, and try to understand the cause.

If you can remember this happens, and that it happens with GREAT frequency... you'll be standing on firm ground from which to look around and assess things.




In Closing - Just How Easy a Misunderstanding can Occur:

A. I recently made a comedy thread, a "parody" of another thread, and I was certain it would be easily seen as a harmless parody.
B. This parody was designed, very specifically, as a bit of surreal and absurd antithesis to this particular antecedent thread.
C. I meant only to give everyone a harmless laugh through a bit of harmless silliness.
D. I was very careful to make each post in my thread extremely silly, and comical, so it would only be seen as a bit of humor and parody.
E. Nonetheless, my thread created some confusion with some very nice people.
F. How did this happen?
G. The main problem was that, unknown to me, I made a parody of an antecedent thread which was, itself, a parody or joke about something else!
F. So rather than making a parody of something clear and understood, I accidentally made a parody of something which was already entirely confusing!
G. So, while intending to create a clear parody of something which was quite clear, I actually just created some strange death spiral of confusion upon confusion.
H. I contacted the parties involved, directly, and did my best to clear up any confusion.
I. It was never my intention to mislead or confuse anyone, and yet I still managed to do that.
:)

* I try to be extremely careful and articulate, and even with so much meticulous attention, it's still easy to confuse others, and to be misunderstood.
* I think this is a good example of just how easy it is to misunderstand each other, and how careful, and thoughtful, we all need to be.
: )





I don't see what the misunderstanding was.