Doctor's visit today. He is happy that I'm maintaining my weight at 103 - and tells me not to worry if I do not gain. Weight gain should not be my focus now - just to maintain where I am. And for a month I've done just that.
The mucus in my throat can only be HELPED (or not) by trying different things (which I have done and am doing). So far nothing really has worked. From gargles to drinks to pills.
But he also told me that with all that I've been through with surgery and radiation doing the damage it did, this condition might probably be what I have to live with the rest of my life. I need to settle into what might be a difficult thing, live with it, and not grow impatient with expectations that it will be gone. He said this is something that just does not "heal up".
We all know that prayers do make a difference, and who knows how and what God will do. I value prayers that either pray for my throat to be healed, or a way to handle it that makes it easier for me. Eating is SUCH a difficult thing, with gobs of mucus because food is an irritant, and that makes more mucus. Shakes are easier, but even though I put calories in them, it does not take the place of food for weight gain.
I might not talk better than I do either, because of the "gunk". I do not answer the phone at all, but I can hear messages left for me.
I miss eating, yet can play the piano. I miss my "social" life with back and forth conversations, yet I can write. I will greatly miss my granddaughter's wedding, yet I thank God for videos. I miss sleeping on my left side, yet I can actually get a good 6 hours of sleep even though I wake up very stiff and sore. I miss eating Mexican food and drinking margaritas, yet I love my shakes filled with all the fattening stuff that you would feel threatened by.
I live for the "yets"! So, for those of you who are missing things because of whatever, I bless you with many yets.
The mucus in my throat can only be HELPED (or not) by trying different things (which I have done and am doing). So far nothing really has worked. From gargles to drinks to pills.
But he also told me that with all that I've been through with surgery and radiation doing the damage it did, this condition might probably be what I have to live with the rest of my life. I need to settle into what might be a difficult thing, live with it, and not grow impatient with expectations that it will be gone. He said this is something that just does not "heal up".
We all know that prayers do make a difference, and who knows how and what God will do. I value prayers that either pray for my throat to be healed, or a way to handle it that makes it easier for me. Eating is SUCH a difficult thing, with gobs of mucus because food is an irritant, and that makes more mucus. Shakes are easier, but even though I put calories in them, it does not take the place of food for weight gain.
I might not talk better than I do either, because of the "gunk". I do not answer the phone at all, but I can hear messages left for me.
I miss eating, yet can play the piano. I miss my "social" life with back and forth conversations, yet I can write. I will greatly miss my granddaughter's wedding, yet I thank God for videos. I miss sleeping on my left side, yet I can actually get a good 6 hours of sleep even though I wake up very stiff and sore. I miss eating Mexican food and drinking margaritas, yet I love my shakes filled with all the fattening stuff that you would feel threatened by.
I live for the "yets"! So, for those of you who are missing things because of whatever, I bless you with many yets.
