pregnant teen

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grace

grace

Senior Member
#41
Sep 8, 2006
1,064
11
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#41
I have to say that Julianna wrote one of the best responses to this situation.

If I were that girls mother, I would not want any non-emergency *medical* procedures done to my child without my knowledge. She is a minor and under my care to make decisions for. I don't really care what the law states...that is my child to raise with my morals and ideals and values.

I think you are processing this well, and I am praying for you and your sond and everyone involved.
 
S

silverwind

Guest
#42
#42
advise said:
My son's gf has agreed to talk with a councelor at a nonprofit christian pregnancy center tonight. I thought I would wait and see if after she talks to them that she decides to tell her mom. If she is still adimant that she will not, I have decided I cannot live the rest of my life knowing she aborted and I just let it go and that she did not go to her mom.

With that said, need a little more advise. I am sure she will tell her mom because I am going to tell her that I will give her until noon tomorrow, saturday to tell her since her abortion is scheduled for sunday morning. My question is, how can I be certain she spoke with her mom. I was going to tell his girlfriend that I would like a phone call from her mom by noon tomorrow and if I don't get a call from her mom that I will then call her mom myself. Can you think of any other way to be certain?
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I think you should just tell your son's gf that you will check up with her mother tomorrow at noon how things are going. And then do it. Don't wait for the girl to give you the go-ahead. You are the 'other mother'.. you are allowed to take action because of your concern and relation to the unborn child. I will pray for you that it goes well. You may be the only tool God is using to protect the life of the baby.
 
Christianrkchk89

Christianrkchk89

Senior Member
#43
Aug 27, 2005
1,282
12
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#43
Other than having a meeting between your two families I'm not sure you could know for sure. You could give her until a certain time and then go over to the house to talk with the mom face to face? But otherwise I guess the phone call is a good option. If the lady does call you can talk to her about what's going to happen ... and if she doesn't call you can call and as if the daughter has talked to her about what's going on between the girl and your son and thennn see what you're all going to do.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#44
#44
advise said:
My son's gf has agreed to talk with a councelor at a nonprofit christian pregnancy center tonight. I thought I would wait and see if after she talks to them that she decides to tell her mom. If she is still adimant that she will not, I have decided I cannot live the rest of my life knowing she aborted and I just let it go and that she did not go to her mom.

With that said, need a little more advise. I am sure she will tell her mom because I am going to tell her that I will give her until noon tomorrow, saturday to tell her since her abortion is scheduled for sunday morning. My question is, how can I be certain she spoke with her mom. I was going to tell his girlfriend that I would like a phone call from her mom by noon tomorrow and if I don't get a call from her mom that I will then call her mom myself. Can you think of any other way to be certain?
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I think you're absolutely doing the right thing. God bless you, sister. Our prayers and hearts are with everyone concerned in this situation.
 
M

Matthew

Guest
#45
#45
Seeing as time is not on your side I'll be blunt.....tell her parent(s) immediately.

You can all wrestle with the moral implications of doing so.....preferably after a life has been saved.

The fact is this girl is probably being torn eight ways from Sunday in her mind trying to deal with this while factoring in everyones softly spoken advice trying to influence her....someone needs to to rise above it all and look out for the child in a way that the mother should.....and this is a situation where a child is having a child and so that isn't going to happen.

Abortion is dangerous and if there are complications her parents will be called and that would be a nightmare way to discover her pregnancy, there is a lot wrong with the situation but keeping it a secret from other family members considering her age and complete inability to make truly informed decisions would be one more major mistake.

I don't envy your situation but this is one of those chllenging times where you've got to make the brave call, and doing so will make it easier to deal with the consequences.
 
P

peachetty

Guest
#46
#46
hmmm do you think her mom would tell her not to have the abortion?
 
Kathleen

Kathleen

Senior Member
#47
Oct 13, 2009
3,570
6
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#47
i think Julianna and Bonnie - have said all that need to be said ...

I feel for everyone that is stuck in this situation with you, and pray that god has his hands over all of you, and the baby

God Bless
 
A

advise

Guest
#48
#48
I told her Mom and she responded as I had hoped. She was very calm and sad for her daughter. I now know I made the correct decision. She said she would be there for her daughter no matter what she decided. Her mom is not a Christian but a very kind woman. She had her daughter postpone the abortion until next Friday. She wants to be able to discuss it further with her to make sure she is not making a decision she has not had time to examine. Her Mom told her if she were to keep the baby they would make it all work out. She said she would not stop her daughter from the abortion but is torn with her decision. I told her that my son does not want her to have an abortion and neither do I and that we would help in every way and that we would even adopt the baby is she wanted. Pray Hard she has a change of heart.
 
B

bonnie2

Guest
#49
#49
advise said:
I told her Mom and she responded as I had hoped. She was very calm and sad for her daughter. I now know I made the correct decision. She said she would be there for her daughter no matter what she decided. Her mom is not a Christian but a very kind woman. She had her daughter postpone the abortion until next Friday. She wants to be able to discuss it further with her to make sure she is not making a decision she has not had time to examine. Her Mom told her if she were to keep the baby they would make it all work out. She said she would not stop her daughter from the abortion but is torn with her decision. I told her that my son does not want her to have an abortion and neither do I and that we would help in every way and that we would even adopt the baby is she wanted. Pray Hard she has a change of heart.
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Oh good. I have been praying about this. I still don't think you or the girl's mother are being strong enough with her, but I am so glad she postponed it.
 
P

peachetty

Guest
#50
#50
advise said:
I told her Mom and she responded as I had hoped. She was very calm and sad for her daughter. I now know I made the correct decision. She said she would be there for her daughter no matter what she decided. Her mom is not a Christian but a very kind woman. She had her daughter postpone the abortion until next Friday. She wants to be able to discuss it further with her to make sure she is not making a decision she has not had time to examine. Her Mom told her if she were to keep the baby they would make it all work out. She said she would not stop her daughter from the abortion but is torn with her decision. I told her that my son does not want her to have an abortion and neither do I and that we would help in every way and that we would even adopt the baby is she wanted. Pray Hard she has a change of heart.
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that is aweome! i'm praying for her that she will make the right desicion!
 
P

paul1149

Guest
#51
#51
Advise, that is a very difficult position to be in. The humanist laws surrounding abortion are completely at odds with morality and common sense, and I appreciate your concern for this young girl's spiritual health. I pray that the Lord gives you the wisdom of the mind of Christ and leads everyone concerned here by His peace that passes understanding, in the way you all should go.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#52
#52
advise said:
I told her Mom and she responded as I had hoped. She was very calm and sad for her daughter. I now know I made the correct decision. She said she would be there for her daughter no matter what she decided. Her mom is not a Christian but a very kind woman. She had her daughter postpone the abortion until next Friday. She wants to be able to discuss it further with her to make sure she is not making a decision she has not had time to examine. Her Mom told her if she were to keep the baby they would make it all work out. She said she would not stop her daughter from the abortion but is torn with her decision. I told her that my son does not want her to have an abortion and neither do I and that we would help in every way and that we would even adopt the baby is she wanted. Pray Hard she has a change of heart.
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We're still praying that God will be with all of you and that His will be done in this situation.
 
T

thefightinglamb

Guest
#53
#53
Felt called to read this thread for some reason...

I think within this amount of time you have to convince the young woman of something you already said. Her mother thought it worthwhile to have her baby at the age of 16, and did not abort...Remind her of all the love she has felt in her heart BY HER MOM...and you have to remind her that this is the love that she too can both possess and share...even at a young age.

That being said, I also think your son should understand the seriousness of his situation and understand that it is his duty, his responsibility, and joy to marry when plausable andd provide for this girl and his child. If she was assured that your son could/will marry her and provide for her and their child, this abortion would not be an issue I feel. So, its time for your son to pull up his britches and show/make known to her that he can be a true father.

God bless
tony
 
pickles

pickles

Senior Member
#54
Apr 20, 2009
14,479
182
63
#54
I am so glad that you let her mother know. I will keep her and all in my prayers.

The one thing that saddens me is the idea that permeates our sociaty today. That it is the womans body and decision.
It was when I was a child that this was being promoted. I remember when a decision like this was about all involved, including the child.
Simply because it is about more than just the woman. As this mom said, this is her son's child and her grandchild. This is a life given by God.
The girls parents have every right and concern for the choices made by their minor child, the knowladge, the risks, the loss.
This is about many, not just the womans choice, saddly the promotion of this has brought great loss and saddness to our world.
Even though we know that the world is not based in Jesus, I do believe as christians we need to separate this womans choice from in the world ,
to knowing that all we do has an impact in Jesus and His message.
I could go on about the many women I know that chose abortion and how it haunts them, to the fathers that lost their children to this.
But, I think the most important message here is that all choices are not alone in who they affect, not only in this life , but in eternal life in Jesus.
My prayers continue for all in this, that the power and love of Jesus will be witnessed to.
In Jesus, God bless.
pickles
 
T

tryingtofindhim

Guest
#56
#56
advise said:
my sons girlfriend is pregnant. He came to me in confidence because his girlfriend is going to have an abortion and he does not want her to have one. I have gently spoken to her about her other options and asked her to speak to a councelor. She said she would and is doing so tomorrow. Her abortion is scheduled for this sunday morning. If after she talks to the councelor and decides to have the abortion anyway what should I do.

I feel that since she is only 16 that she needs to speak with her mom before she makes a final decision. She says it is her right legally not to tell her mom and that I should not force her to do so. I don't know if I can live with my conscience if I don't let her mom know.

I would love some help in my decision process. Time is not on my side.
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becareful about the parents. Cause she might be afraid to tell her mother for a good reason. If you know the mom well do, but if you don't I wouldn't.
 
AliceOfLegend

AliceOfLegend

Banned
#57
Jan 20, 2010
206
0
0
#57
Glad her mother was supportive,


Now, I just hope that the decision this girl makes is the choice she feels is right, not because she feels forced.
 
T

tryingtofindhim

Guest
#58
#58
advise said:
I told her Mom and she responded as I had hoped. She was very calm and sad for her daughter. I now know I made the correct decision. She said she would be there for her daughter no matter what she decided. Her mom is not a Christian but a very kind woman. She had her daughter postpone the abortion until next Friday. She wants to be able to discuss it further with her to make sure she is not making a decision she has not had time to examine. Her Mom told her if she were to keep the baby they would make it all work out. She said she would not stop her daughter from the abortion but is torn with her decision. I told her that my son does not want her to have an abortion and neither do I and that we would help in every way and that we would even adopt the baby is she wanted. Pray Hard she has a change of heart.
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Well, thats awesome that she didn't blow up about it :) Thank God for that!!!!!
 
B

bonnie2

Guest
#59
#59
AliceOfLegend said:
Glad her mother was supportive,


Now, I just hope that the decision this girl makes is the choice she feels is right, not because she feels forced.
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Alice. Do you really want this girl to feel good, not feel forced, more than you want this baby to live? I'm sorry but that's just wrong! I'm not liking all the "supportive" terminology in this thread. You just don't support murder, that's crazy.
Or do you honestly not believe that this child was created by God and meant to live? Do you not believe that he/ she is a person?
 
AliceOfLegend

AliceOfLegend

Banned
#60
Jan 20, 2010
206
0
0
#60
I had a talk with my father (who is a Christian) about this topic the other day

and I asked him what he thought about the girl's boyfriend's mother telling the girls mother for her without her consent.

He said

"its not there place"

And I agree fully,

He did say, that he hoped if I or my sister ever got pregnant that we would tell him and mom, but that it wasn't any one other than our place to tell them.

but he said when it comes down to it all "people need to mind their P's and Q's"
 
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