.. but there's no "new thread button" I could find, but eyes failing at a young age so possibly there, possibly not. 
So here I am, a 55 year old kid very similar to when I was 25, been through hell and still wondering why there are no miracles (or at least not the Faith type mentioned and Commanded by Christ) and why the Body is so weak and pathetic? Don't take offense to that but you have to admit, the American Body is shrivelled and weak and uninvolved in What Christ would have Us to be doing by and large.. but then again It Was (and Still Is) Our Father Who asked "will I find Faith when I come"?.. and yet again "there are none that do Good, no not one".
Some forget to forgive, others forget to forget but for the most part, in my daily life I seldom if ever run across someone who is outwardly and noticeably a Christian in Word and Deed, many have the profession but lack the Fruit Thereof. I still can't figure why when I finally decided to get baptised no church except the Messianic Jews would agree to baptise me without "joining" their "church", so I wonder if they realize how against what Christ taught that is? And if they realize the building they have is not a church and is not a place required to be a member.
I'll leave it at that for now but more about me.. raised in the time of the ending of the Vietnam War in a culture of drugs and alcohol my dad died when I was 10, youngest of 5 and the most bull headed by far, though that skull has thinned a bit, not enough.. kicked out of 2 high schools and sent to truancy school, started doing drugs and drinking at 10, lost my sister at 17 and helped raise her 2 week old son for a year and a half until her father in law took him from us in a court battle even though it was his son who killed my sister. Dropped out second year of 9th grade, went to Job Corps and learned a bit of carpentry and construction nd played in the woods of Mammoth Cave for 2 years while living there in them.
Came out, went into construction, did this, did that, jumped job to job but mainly worked for myself and now self employed doing home inspections for the last 21 years, although the Real Estate industry is trying to put me out of business because I will not play their money game helping them sell houses, and they are 99% there.
Being harassed and persecuted by some of the local police, third time thats happened in the last 20 years, and cost thousands each time not to mention the false arrests and it shows me quite clearly this world is Satan's and not Ours.. yet.
Married with children and grandchildren, haven't seen them in two years, they've forgotten me and my wife now my daughter says, but she's still fighting the father for custody and he, being the self proclaimed christian he is, won't let us in their lives.
Can't wait for the end, but would rather see some good first in all the things around me, but finding it really hard to be Salt or Light or to Bear Good Fruit despite my extreme Belief and Faith God Is and Is a Rewarder of those who diligently Seek Him.. and there lies my dilemma, not Seeking diligently enough, or hardly at all.
If I died tonight I'm pretty sure I'd be toast. And with what God has Shown me personally, quite literally, that is one scary dang thing to consider, yet I cannot understand why I still do and do not do as I should.. and definitely not to be compared to what the Apostle Paul said "For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do"
But I still have Hope in me and Only in Christ Our Saviour.
So here I am, a 55 year old kid very similar to when I was 25, been through hell and still wondering why there are no miracles (or at least not the Faith type mentioned and Commanded by Christ) and why the Body is so weak and pathetic? Don't take offense to that but you have to admit, the American Body is shrivelled and weak and uninvolved in What Christ would have Us to be doing by and large.. but then again It Was (and Still Is) Our Father Who asked "will I find Faith when I come"?.. and yet again "there are none that do Good, no not one".
Some forget to forgive, others forget to forget but for the most part, in my daily life I seldom if ever run across someone who is outwardly and noticeably a Christian in Word and Deed, many have the profession but lack the Fruit Thereof. I still can't figure why when I finally decided to get baptised no church except the Messianic Jews would agree to baptise me without "joining" their "church", so I wonder if they realize how against what Christ taught that is? And if they realize the building they have is not a church and is not a place required to be a member.
I'll leave it at that for now but more about me.. raised in the time of the ending of the Vietnam War in a culture of drugs and alcohol my dad died when I was 10, youngest of 5 and the most bull headed by far, though that skull has thinned a bit, not enough.. kicked out of 2 high schools and sent to truancy school, started doing drugs and drinking at 10, lost my sister at 17 and helped raise her 2 week old son for a year and a half until her father in law took him from us in a court battle even though it was his son who killed my sister. Dropped out second year of 9th grade, went to Job Corps and learned a bit of carpentry and construction nd played in the woods of Mammoth Cave for 2 years while living there in them.
Came out, went into construction, did this, did that, jumped job to job but mainly worked for myself and now self employed doing home inspections for the last 21 years, although the Real Estate industry is trying to put me out of business because I will not play their money game helping them sell houses, and they are 99% there.
Being harassed and persecuted by some of the local police, third time thats happened in the last 20 years, and cost thousands each time not to mention the false arrests and it shows me quite clearly this world is Satan's and not Ours.. yet.
Married with children and grandchildren, haven't seen them in two years, they've forgotten me and my wife now my daughter says, but she's still fighting the father for custody and he, being the self proclaimed christian he is, won't let us in their lives.
Can't wait for the end, but would rather see some good first in all the things around me, but finding it really hard to be Salt or Light or to Bear Good Fruit despite my extreme Belief and Faith God Is and Is a Rewarder of those who diligently Seek Him.. and there lies my dilemma, not Seeking diligently enough, or hardly at all.
If I died tonight I'm pretty sure I'd be toast. And with what God has Shown me personally, quite literally, that is one scary dang thing to consider, yet I cannot understand why I still do and do not do as I should.. and definitely not to be compared to what the Apostle Paul said "For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do"
But I still have Hope in me and Only in Christ Our Saviour.
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