Okay. So it is something you decided to try on your own.
I will tell you that I do not believe masturbation is a sin. It may make someone come in and begin to scream at me, but it's okay - I've been screamed at before and I can handle it.
But what
is a sin is adultery. And porn can't be viewed without adultery because you are lusting over another man and having a sexual encounter with another man on the video.
Do you remember where Jesus said this:
Matthew 5:27-28 New International Version (NIV)
Adultery
27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’[
a] 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
So the verse applies to women too. Just replace the word woman with the word man.
So Jesus is saying that the sin is committed in the mind and the heart even IF outward adultery doesn't happen.
So that settles the matter of whether or not watching porn is a sin. It is, because it is a man other than your husband that you are having lustful feelings for as you watch it. It cannot be viewed without committing adultery.
But it doesn't settle the matter of not being able to stop doing it. That desire is still there and even if you determine to not do it, you may still do it again even though you don't want to and you feel bad afterwards for committing the adultery.
Some well meaning Christians may tell you to just keep trying really hard to stop it but you already have those pictures of other men in your head and even if you don't watch the porn, you may be remembering it. Sometimes even WHILE having sex with your husband. So although people may mean well by telling you to just keep trying hard not to sin, they are leading you the wrong way, because if we all could stop sinning by just trying really hard to not do it in our mind and heart, Jesus wouldn't have had to die for us to cover our sins - we could just stop doing them.
Talk to God about the problem and ask for help. You will never conquer any sin
except by relying and depending on Him to change your mind and heart. You just won't. You can keep yourself from doing it literally and outwardly with another man, but for your mind and heart, only He can change that. And He has said if you even do it in your mind and heart, you have already committed adultery.
And while you're waiting for Him to answer your prayer for help, if it happens again, realize that this is the whole reason He died for you. Do not get overly distraught that you are a sinner. He full well knows you are a sinner and died for you
because you are a sinner, because His blood that He shed for you is for forgiveness of your sins so that you can go before God boldly to ask for the help you need. Go very boldly and speak to God about it because Jesus died so that you would be allowed to call on God as your Father, Daddy, Abba.
Do not let satan get you to depression if/when you fail and do it again. You
are a sinner, so don't let him condemn you when God forgives you.
And if you wait patiently and completely trust God, He will see to your problem by beginning to change your mind and heart. And while you wait, you are covered by that Precious Blood that Jesus shed for you because He loves you and wants to have you as His.
