Dating Deal Breakers

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J

Jullianna

Guest
#1
#1
Other than the obvious reasons for not dating someone (i.e. - being unequally yoked, cheaters, etc.), what are some of your dating deal breakers?

This is a HUGE one for me: People who are very sweet to you (and most likely putting up a good front), but are rude and demanding to waitresses, cab drivers, store clerks, etc.
 
I

InkedFaith

Guest
#2
#2
Anyone that hops relationship to relationship is out immediately.
If someone is always sick also is a never gonna happen.
Someone that wants to change who i am.
 
Hommer

Hommer

Senior Member
#3
Feb 11, 2010
172
3
18
#3
Both those are good..............I dont really mesh well with people that are clingy..........I also dont seemed to bond with people that cant find humor in life...
 
Davio

Davio

Banned
#4
Mar 9, 2009
4
0
0
#4
Someone who smokes will definitely turn me off. Sorry, but I don't want to kiss an ashtray :)
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#5
May 23, 2009
16,761
5,659
113
#5
Hey Julianna,

Great idea for a thread!! :) I completely agree with you concerning the issue of someone who is rude to service workers, won't leave a decent tip, etc. Good manners and courtesy is very important, and I would never want to marry someone with such highly selective social graces (or lack thereof.)

Most people who read my posts also know that an immediate deal-breaker for me is someone who regularly engages in watching porn, going to strip clubs, etc. People would be shocked if they knew how many Christian guys are into this. I once knew a girl who worked in a strip club and she said you'd be surprised how many guys there were leaders in their local churches. I have compassion for anyone struggling with this addiction, but I could not marry someone with it.

Most of us have seen things we wish we'd never seen, and that includes myself. The reason I'm so adamant about this is because my entire life, even in childhood, people have been opening up to me about the abuses they've been through, and I feel one of my callings is to talk to and pray for people who have gone through sexual abuse. I have participated in many classes that deal with helping people heal from these kinds of traumas and hope to re-join a ministry that works in this field sometime in the future. I could not expect to continue this work if I was married to and coming home to someone who is regularly seeking out and watching sexually explicit and abusive materials.

Admittedly, sexually explicit materials are so tough to avoid nowadays--I was on a plane with individual TV screens and was absolutely shocked by the music videos they were playing--I grew up in the Madonna generation, and the young female singers now make Madonna look like a nun. You can't stay away from all of it, but I try my best not to go chasing after it.

Yup, this is probably why I've been single for so long!! People say I'll never find a guy who isn't into porn. I keep praying that if such a guy exists, God will please send him my way. :)
 
Hommer

Hommer

Senior Member
#6
Feb 11, 2010
172
3
18
#6
something else that really bothers me no matter which gender it is, is someone who litters........I have lost things out of the back of my pick up on accident or had the blow out of the inside but someone who just throws trash on the ground really bothers me.........it shows a lack of respect for what God made for us.... that is how I see it anyway
 
S

sweetnshy

Senior Member
#7
Sep 10, 2003
219
4
18
#7
Here's one of my odder ones (if odder is even a word :p), and it's more of a marriage dealbreaker than a dating one...I am very anti-naming kids after their parents! I was named after my mom (same first name, different middle name), and it is SUCH a hassle! Doctors' offices and other places get us confused all the time, we get phone calls and don't know whether it's for me or her, and twice now we've had financial disasters as a result of us having the same name: my mom lost her debit card at the gas station, and when the gas station attendant found it and called the bank, they put a hold on MY card instead of hers. The second one was when I ordered contact lenses and the doctor's office billed my mom's insurance instead of mine. So yeah...I don't want a guy who's insistent on having a son named after him. :p We're each gonna have our own separate name and identity!
 
Red_Tory

Red_Tory

Senior Member
#8
Jan 26, 2010
611
17
18
#8
I wouldn't date someone who couldn't drive stick shift. Manual transmissions are imporant to me.
 
I

InkedFaith

Guest
#9
#9
I have always found this confusing but i refuse to date any female that hates herself... i can not do it. i am who i am and i have learned to love me. That kind of low self esteem is a serious issue.
 
grace

grace

Senior Member
#10
Sep 8, 2006
1,064
11
0
51
#10
sweetnshy said:
Here's one of my odder ones (if odder is even a word :p), and it's more of a marriage dealbreaker than a dating one...I am very anti-naming kids after their parents! I was named after my mom (same first name, different middle name), and it is SUCH a hassle! Doctors' offices and other places get us confused all the time, we get phone calls and don't know whether it's for me or her, and twice now we've had financial disasters as a result of us having the same name: my mom lost her debit card at the gas station, and when the gas station attendant found it and called the bank, they put a hold on MY card instead of hers. The second one was when I ordered contact lenses and the doctor's office billed my mom's insurance instead of mine. So yeah...I don't want a guy who's insistent on having a son named after him. :p We're each gonna have our own separate name and identity!
Click to expand...


I am with you on this one. I have a story that goes along with this one...but too long to want to type out the whole thing right now.

The basics: My daughter was supposed to be named Grace. Had my heart set on that name for YEARS!
Her name is Michaela. My husband was Michael. I was trying to honor his family because it is such a strong family tradition they have. In the end, I was told it was stupid. :( They did not appreciate it.

I am just not into the seconds or Jr's etc. Its not my thing. So I fully understand, and I don't think its that odd. :)
 
N

NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#11
#11
A yeller, i cant deal with a guy that yells. Whoever i date i want them to be calm and laid back.

A man who uses Axe body wash.


Would not and could not date a guy that talked about himself all the time, or a guy that said things just to try and impress you. Ok listen to this right. So this guy asked me out for coffee right, he had liked me for awhile so i said yeah i'll go. We go to starbucks right, and he starts telling me this story, i will never forget it. He says. One day i was working out with some of my friends, and we were lifting a lot of weight and my stomach started hurting so bad like i could hardly move! So a nurse comes in (why a random nurse is in a gym i have no idea, but this is what hes telling me lol) and see's how much pain im in, so she starts to examine me. She tells me to stop working out because i have to many muscles and everytime i lift a lot of weight it hurts the other big muscles i have.

OH...........MY.......................GOSH. I almost spit my coffee out when he got to the last part of that story. Yeah i left about 5 minutes after that.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#12
#12
NodMyHeadLikeYeah said:
A yeller, i cant deal with a guy that yells. Whoever i date i want them to be calm and laid back.

A man who uses Axe body wash.


Would not and could not date a guy that talked about himself all the time, or a guy that said things just to try and impress you. Ok listen to this right. So this guy asked me out for coffee right, he had liked me for awhile so i said yeah i'll go. We go to starbucks right, and he starts telling me this story, i will never forget it. He says. One day i was working out with some of my friends, and we were lifting a lot of weight and my stomach started hurting so bad like i could hardly move! So a nurse comes in (why a random nurse is in a gym i have no idea, but this is what hes telling me lol) and see's how much pain im in, so she starts to examine me. She tells me to stop working out because i have to many muscles and everytime i lift a lot of weight it hurts the other big muscles i have.

OH...........MY.......................GOSH. I almost spit my coffee out when he got to the last part of that story. Yeah i left about 5 minutes after that.
Click to expand...
LOL! Priceless! I'm thinking that when your biggest muscle is growing between your ears, you might want to cut back a little...
 
grace

grace

Senior Member
#13
Sep 8, 2006
1,064
11
0
51
#13
Insecure and lacking confidence, no thanks. Providing reasurrance in a relationship to some degree is normal....but to have to do it in a constant and ongoing basis because the person is totally insecure....nuh uh. Balance is a good thing. :)
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#14
#14
grace said:
Insecure and lacking confidence, no thanks. Providing reasurrance in a relationship to some degree is normal....but to have to do it in a constant and ongoing basis because the person is totally insecure....nuh uh. Balance is a good thing. :)
Click to expand...
Absolutely, Grace! To me, confidence (but NOT cockiness) is one of the most attractive things about a person. To know who you are and who you AREN'T, what you like and what you don't, and feel secure enough in that to be yourself. THAT's Hot :)
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#15
Aug 2, 2009
24,653
4,316
113
#15
I really liked this girl I worked with and she liked me and we got along great....until I found out her ex boyfriend is a psycho-meglomaniac ex-marine cop. And..she had a restraining order against him! Yes, this is true! (I know lying is a sin)
 
F

FrankensteinGirls

Banned
#16
Aug 8, 2010
531
3
0
#16
I cannot be with someone who doesn't realize people come with baggage. Some more than others. My "date breakers" vary because each person requires different things. Something that bugs me on one person may not in another.

Though it is important that the person I am with understands I am an equal and respect me. Also, don't raise your hand at me, unless you want to lose it. I come with my issues, but the one who loves me will work through those with me (and he does :) )
 
C

Credo_ut_Intelligam

Guest
#17
#17
I'm not too picky, but any of the below are definite deal-breakers:

1) If you always think you’re the victim (everything mean someone does is out of personal spite).
2) If you have a bad temper (mainly because I have a bad temper and it makes me angry to deal with another person that has a bad temper).
3) If you can't take a caustic joke.
4) If you like romantic comedies.
5) If you like any contemporary musical artist that is sung by an American Idol contestant or is played on MTV.
6) If you like to watch American Idol or MTV.
7) If you drive a Mazda.
8) If you like the show Friends.
9) If you like to watch TV at all.
10) If you don't smoke.
11) If you don't like Track & Field or Soccer.
12) If you like American football, basketball, or baseball.
13) If you don't drink.
14) If you like cats.
15) If you like sweets (chocolate, ice-cream, candy…)
16) If you don't cuss like a sailor.
17) Blinking lights.
18) If you want me to do chores around the house.
19) If you own a green shirt.
20) If you like smarmy Christian radio stations.
21) If you don't compliment me on a daily basis.
22) If you like books by Max Lucado.
23) If you recognized the name Max Lucado.
24) If you haven't read every item on this list.
25) If you think everything is a sign that it's the end of the world.
26) If you've ever said "Get er done" or have a family member who has ever said that phrase.
27) If you don't believe me when I say that one time I was working out at the gym and a police officer walked into the gym and told me that if I did one more repetition I could be cited for not having a weapons permit for my biceps.
28) If you want someone who just listens to you.
29) If you don't think I'm serious about everything on this list.
30) If you make lists with less than 30 items.
31) People who come with baggage.

Nah, I'm just kidding… but seriously.
 
L

lightbliss

Guest
#18
#18
Credo_ut_Intelligam said:
I'm not too picky, but any of the below are definite deal-breakers:

1) If you always think you’re the victim (everything mean someone does is out of personal spite).
2) If you have a bad temper (mainly because I have a bad temper and it makes me angry to deal with another person that has a bad temper).
3) If you can't take a caustic joke.
4) If you like romantic comedies.
5) If you like any contemporary musical artist that is sung by an American Idol contestant or is played on MTV.
6) If you like to watch American Idol or MTV.
7) If you drive a Mazda.
8) If you like the show Friends.
9) If you like to watch TV at all.
10) If you don't smoke.
11) If you don't like Track & Field or Soccer.
12) If you like American football, basketball, or baseball.
13) If you don't drink.
14) If you like cats.
15) If you like sweets (chocolate, ice-cream, candy…)
16) If you don't cuss like a sailor.
17) Blinking lights.
18) If you want me to do chores around the house.
19) If you own a green shirt.
20) If you like smarmy Christian radio stations.
21) If you don't compliment me on a daily basis.
22) If you like books by Max Lucado.
23) If you recognized the name Max Lucado.
24) If you haven't read every item on this list.
25) If you think everything is a sign that it's the end of the world.
26) If you've ever said "Get er done" or have a family member who has ever said that phrase.
27) If you don't believe me when I say that one time I was working out at the gym and a police officer walked into the gym and told me that if I did one more repetition I could be cited for not having a weapons permit for my biceps.
28) If you want someone who just listens to you.
29) If you don't think I'm serious about everything on this list.
30) If you make lists with less than 30 items.
31) People who come with baggage.

Nah, I'm just kidding… but seriously.
Click to expand...
I get it :rolleyes:
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#19
#19
Credo_ut_Intelligam said:
I'm not too picky, but any of the below are definite deal-breakers:

1) If you always think you’re the victim (everything mean someone does is out of personal spite).
2) If you have a bad temper (mainly because I have a bad temper and it makes me angry to deal with another person that has a bad temper).
3) If you can't take a caustic joke.
4) If you like romantic comedies.
5) If you like any contemporary musical artist that is sung by an American Idol contestant or is played on MTV.
6) If you like to watch American Idol or MTV.
7) If you drive a Mazda.
8) If you like the show Friends.
9) If you like to watch TV at all.
10) If you don't smoke.
11) If you don't like Track & Field or Soccer.
12) If you like American football, basketball, or baseball.
13) If you don't drink.
14) If you like cats.
15) If you like sweets (chocolate, ice-cream, candy…)
16) If you don't cuss like a sailor.
17) Blinking lights.
18) If you want me to do chores around the house.
19) If you own a green shirt.
20) If you like smarmy Christian radio stations.
21) If you don't compliment me on a daily basis.
22) If you like books by Max Lucado.
23) If you recognized the name Max Lucado.
24) If you haven't read every item on this list.
25) If you think everything is a sign that it's the end of the world.
26) If you've ever said "Get er done" or have a family member who has ever said that phrase.
27) If you don't believe me when I say that one time I was working out at the gym and a police officer walked into the gym and told me that if I did one more repetition I could be cited for not having a weapons permit for my biceps.
28) If you want someone who just listens to you.
29) If you don't think I'm serious about everything on this list.
30) If you make lists with less than 30 items.
31) People who come with baggage.

Nah, I'm just kidding… but seriously.
Click to expand...
I would have expected you to be a little more selective than this, sir! ;)
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#20
#20
zeroturbulence said:
I really liked this girl I worked with and she liked me and we got along great....until I found out her ex boyfriend is a psycho-meglomaniac ex-marine cop. And..she had a restraining order against him! Yes, this is true! (I know lying is a sin)
Click to expand...
Awww..c'mon, zero....buy an assault weapon, 5 rabid dogs, board up your windows, sleep with one eye open and go for it! :)
 
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