How do you handle being...

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Rosst28

Rosst28

New member
#1
Jul 24, 2018
8
8
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#1
How do you handle being single with everyone else around you married, in a relationship or engaged. I have been an intern for my church for a year now and we have a congregation of mostly older members with maybe 4 or 5 young adults so I don't get many responses to this question. Wanted to ask it here. What are your thoughts on singleness in 2018.
 
Mel85

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
#2
Mar 28, 2018
10,910
6,897
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#2
I don’t handle it as such, I embrace it :)

I know what you mean though, and it does get difficult at times but I try to remain focused on Jesus and have the faith that God knows my heart and the plans for me (Jeremiah 29:11).
 
Jewel5712

Jewel5712

Well-known member
#3
Jun 22, 2018
4,091
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#3
Rosst28 said:
How do you handle being single with everyone else around you married, in a relationship or engaged. I have been an intern for my church for a year now and we have a congregation of mostly older members with maybe 4 or 5 young adults so I don't get many responses to this question. Wanted to ask it here. What are your thoughts on singleness in 2018.
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Singleness at 51 sucks..for the most part :)
 
cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#4
Mar 26, 2014
4,433
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#4
Rosst28 said:
How do you handle being single with everyone else around you married, in a relationship or engaged. I have been an intern for my church for a year now and we have a congregation of mostly older members with maybe 4 or 5 young adults so I don't get many responses to this question. Wanted to ask it here. What are your thoughts on singleness in 2018.
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I read books, play games, go hiking and to whatever community events look interesting alone. Oh and plays, I go to plays as well. I'm also realizing that if I'm not careful I can get quite isolated (being single doesn't help that) so I'm trying to brainstorm some activities I might be able to get involved in. One of the couples at church mentioned to me that they were looking to start a new bible study once they finish their current one ( which is a study for marrieds) and I'd be invited so right now I'm looking forward to that getting started up too.

In some ways I think it's a bit easier when the couples around you are mostly established couples that you've only ever known as a couple rather than when you're a bit younger and everyone seems to be forming couples and you feel left behind (and have all those weddings to attend and have your singleness rubbed in your face). But then my felt need for romance seems to be less than a lot of people's; I don't mind being alone most of the time.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#5
Aug 13, 2014
27,364
9,376
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#5
How do I handle being single? Well... I've been single all my life, so I am fairly accustomed to it.

See I don't view being single as "an incomplete life that needs to be completed by finding a spouse." Being single is not what defines my life. My life is defined by my church, my job, my family, my music hobby, this forum, a chat room I participate in, my dog... all the things that are in my life.

Now if I get married, my wife will become part of my life, and all the things in her life will become to some extent part of my life. But my life is not deficient in the absence of a wife. I consider my life to be a complete one. I am content with my life and see no reason to change it.

So as to how I handle being single... I live my life every day and see what that day will bring. I don't really "deal" with being single, I just live my life.
 
Rosst28

Rosst28

New member
#6
Jul 24, 2018
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8
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#6
Lynx said:
How do I handle being single? Well... I've been single all my life, so I am fairly accustomed to it.

See I don't view being single as "an incomplete life that needs to be completed by finding a spouse." Being single is not what defines my life. My life is defined by my church, my job, my family, my music hobby, this forum, a chat room I participate in, my dog... all the things that are in my life.

Now if I get married, my wife will become part of my life, and all the things in her life will become to some extent part of my life. But my life is not deficient in the absence of a wife. I consider my life to be a complete one. I am content with my life and see no reason to change it.
Very well said.
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zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#7
Aug 2, 2009
24,646
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#7
Rosst28 said:
How do you handle being single with everyone else around you married, in a relationship or engaged. I have been an intern for my church for a year now and we have a congregation of mostly older members with maybe 4 or 5 young adults so I don't get many responses to this question. Wanted to ask it here. What are your thoughts on singleness in 2018.
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What's there to handle? You're single. You get to live life on your own terms. You don't need a spouse's or a gf's approval for anything. You don't have to deal with couple's issues (you never spend time alone with me anymore... you're not doing your share of the housework... am i supposed to able to read your mind?... etc...). Think of being single as dodging a bullet..
 
S

Sweetmorningdew78

Guest
#8
#8
I stopped thinking about it 😂 I raised my siblings I worked so hard...my thoughts were too occupied and I temporarily have forgotten about being single 😂 and then I woke up one day and realized I was near 40 😂 and everyone is married with kids My Nieces and nephews are all grown up and some have their own families too already 😂 and I found unwanted gray hair on my head 😂 that's how I handled it 😂
 
DKristine

DKristine

New member
#9
Jul 22, 2018
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#9
Sweetmorningdew78 said:
I stopped thinking about it 😂 I raised my siblings I worked so hard...my thoughts were too occupied and I temporarily have forgotten about being single 😂 and then I woke up one day and realized I was near 40 😂 and everyone is married with kids My Nieces and nephews are all grown up and some have their own families too already 😂 and I found unwanted gray hair on my head 😂 that's how I handled it 😂
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DKristine

DKristine

New member
#10
Jul 22, 2018
11
16
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#10
Very similar situation with mine. I pray. I work most the time. I love my job and I have one more sibling who is graduating from college this year. PRAISE God. He has blessed my life through all the difficulties and struggles. So, I am focusing on growing more in my relationship with God.

If someone does come along, then what will be, will be according to God’s will. I have never had a real relationship before anyway. So I don't exactly know what I am missing out. But from what I see in my married friends' lives, being single has its moments too:D

Coincidentally, one of them messaged me earlier exactly like this-- "Don't get married! Have kids but don't get married!" I can't say I totally agree with her but I think she just needed to let her express the woes of marriage. I jokingly told her- consider me adequately warned:)"

But a lifetime of celibacy can still make a woman even wonder sometimes, what is it like out there in the real world LOL
 
S

Sweetmorningdew78

Guest
#11
#11
DKristine said:
Very similar situation with mine. I pray. I work most the time. I love my job and I have one more sibling who is graduating from college this year. PRAISE God. He has blessed my life through all the difficulties and struggles. So, I am focusing on growing more in my relationship with God.

If someone does come along, then what will be, will be according to God’s will. I have never had a real relationship before anyway. So I don't exactly know what I am missing out. But from what I see in my married friends' lives, being single has its moments too:D

Coincidentally, one of them messaged me earlier exactly like this-- "Don't get married! Have kids but don't get married!" I can't say I totally agree with her but I think she just needed to let her express the woes of marriage. I jokingly told her- consider me adequately warned:)"

But a lifetime of celibacy can still make a woman even wonder sometimes, what is it like out there in the real world LOL
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You are an amazing sister ❤

Yeah same words straight from the mouth of my friends it is a form of joke but I know subconsciously there is a grain of truth in it...it is called frustration... well,the same friends who told me if they can go back they will choose to remain single their whole life 😂 but we Christians don't follow worldly advice we have the Holy spirit that helps us which advice we should and we should not take.... 😊


Be blessed ❤
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#12
May 23, 2009
16,492
5,428
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#12
I always say that one of the best temporary cues for my "Single Blues" is to spend about half an hour reading some of the threads here on CC in the Family Forum.

Once you've been through about a half dozen threads in which people are talking about all the problems they're dealing with in their married life and I guarantee you'll be thankful for your singleness for at least the rest of the day.

I don't have to worry about a husband watching porn instead of spending time with me, I don't have to deal with someone ignoring me or hollering at me for all my little quirks, I don't have to ask permission about financial decisions I might make, and I don't have to worry about whether or not I'm making someone happy enough to stay with me instead of talking to other potential candidates on the internet.
 
Jewel5712

Jewel5712

Well-known member
#13
Jun 22, 2018
4,091
2,275
113
#13
seoulsearch said:
I always say that one of the best temporary cues for my "Single Blues" is to spend about half an hour reading some of the threads here on CC in the Family Forum.

Once you've been through about a half dozen threads in which people are talking about all the problems they're dealing with in their married life and I guarantee you'll be thankful for your singleness for at least the rest of the day.

I don't have to worry about a husband watching porn instead of spending time with me, I don't have to deal with someone ignoring me or hollering at me for all my little quirks, I don't have to ask permission about financial decisions I might make, and I don't have to worry about whether or not I'm making someone happy enough to stay with me instead of talking to other potential candidates on the internet.
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Lol..i dont have to share the remote blankets or shave my legs if i dont want too :)
 
W

WhiteDove

Member
#14
Jul 27, 2018
67
34
18
#14
Rosst28 said:
How do you handle being single with everyone else around you married, in a relationship or engaged. I have been an intern for my church for a year now and we have a congregation of mostly older members with maybe 4 or 5 young adults so I don't get many responses to this question. Wanted to ask it here. What are your thoughts on singleness in 2018.
Click to expand...
 
W

WhiteDove

Member
#15
Jul 27, 2018
67
34
18
#15
Well there was a time years ago, when my best friend had become engaged. I was so jealous of her. Her and her finace had to pick
me up and take me some where, Well I wanted to sit up front but I had to sit in the back. Everyone at church that was about our
age was getting engaged but me. and others were either marriage alraady or just older people. I didnt realized how much it bothered
me til I was at another church and some woman that was riding in a vehicle with us turned and said to me "How come you are
not married yet?" I didn't even know how to respond to that. I didn't know why. But afterwards it really started bothering me.
Unknowingly, I allowed that mess to worry me so much that I thought I had to get married to be happy. This ignorance caused
me to be in wrong relationships that were toxic for me. I found out the hard way that I didnt need to be married to be happy.

I realized years later I failed to enjoy my singleness when I did have it. I took it for granted without realizing.
 
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