Finding "the one"

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sandstorm7

Guest
#1
#1
So I'm turning 20 in a few days and I've been taking a hard look at my life lately. I've come to the realization that, for the past year or so now since me and my ex broke up, I've been consumed with finding the right guy for me.

For a while, before I came to Christ 4 months ago, I was "living up the single life"- dating a bunch of guys, doing some things I shouldn't have been doing. But 4 months ago, it's not like my desire for a guy in my life went away. Instead of dating a bunch of guys just for fun, I became consumed with finding "the one"- the guy that would sweep me off my feet and had everything I was looking for in a husband.

All my friends think I'm nuts- they keep telling me I need to stop being so obsessed with finding the right guy. I know I need to seek God first and work on my relationship with Him, but these desires for another relationship just won't go away.

I think part of it is the pressure I'm getting from my family- my parents, aunts and uncles, grandparents.. they were all married around my age and had children young. Everytime we're at family get-togethers I'm bombarded with questions asking if I have another boyfriend yet. I've always pictured myself getting married young and having a lot of kids... but the right guy just hasn't come into my life yet and, as much as I know I shouldn't be, I can't stop thinking about how much I want that.

I've been seeing this guy for a few months now, but I'm hesitant to get into a relationship with him because I'm not sure if he would fit well into my life and if I could see myself marrying him. I guess I just want someone to walk in where I just KNOW that he's the one.. I know that sounds stupid. But I hear all of these stories of people who knew they were going to marry that person almost right away... and I want to feel that with someone. I feel like I'm waiting for something that will never happen.

I know I need to put God first, that He has a plan for me and it may not necessarily be the plan I have for myself... but it's hard and such a big part of me just wants to be in another serious relationship and find the guy I'm meant to marry so I can start that part of my life. Even some of my friends have been getting married and it makes me feeling like time is ticking away. Any advice?
 
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Dmurray

Guest
#2
#2
Hey, I kind of know how you feel.

But we first must grow in our relationship with God as you said. The closer we come to God the more HIS will will fall into our lives. He will send you the perfect husband for you in HIS time. A Godly man who loves God just as much as you and loves you all the same.

Keep seeking God and on your journey you will stumble across the right guy :)
 
J

juliet84

Guest
#3
#3
Hi sanstorm7,

I have a lot of things to say about this, but I strongly recommend you watch all parts 1,2,3,and 4 of these messages about dating, sex, and marriage from the perspective done in God's way. Please try to watch. God Bless you sis!

LifeChurch.tv > Watch Messages
 
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juliet84

Guest
#4
#4
http://www.lifechurch.tv/watch/goin-all-the-way#
 
R

resty

Guest
#5
#5
hello! dmurray,

i agree of what you have said, we will just always put God in the center of our life, Im sure He will guide us whatever we've needed,
 
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clarky

Guest
#6
#6
is it just me, or is this guy just awesome? the guy speaking in the clips, that is
 
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NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#9
#9
TDRI24 said:
You do realize that you just posted to something that was ...last posted on.....last year...?
Click to expand...


who cares..............
 
J0Y

J0Y

Senior Member
#11
Mar 7, 2009
509
6
18
#11
Why do you feel you need to conform to others expectations? Why is it so important to you that you are married so young? Are you not complete in singleness? Do you believe that God may have other plans for your life right now? Do you not see singleness as a time to grow in Christ more and refine who you are? Can you not trust that God will work things out for you when the time is right? Why are you searching for significance in a man/marriage?

Just some food for thought.

P.S:
I am single
I wanted to be married by 25
I am 36
I choose to trust the Lord
When loneliness kicks in
I go to Jesus
It is not easy to wait
But I believe I am worth it!

Get out and enjoy life!! Do a short-term mission trip! Hang out with your gal friends! Have fun!
 
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lordsservant121

Guest
#12
#12
I also had an idea of what I wanted. At the time I was not a believer but I knew that I wanted to get married at the age of 30. I figured by then I would have done the top ten things I wanted to and be ready to settle down. I was right, I was ready. The lady I chose however was not. Now I have memories of a great year and a half marriage in which she cheated on me during it. Now I have GOD in my life, which is all I need, but I think I would like to have her back one day. I have a great full life but no one to share it with. All the good things I do, she does not see. She will never see that I became the person she prayed I would be. If you have faith, GOD will give you the relationship and not the regret. Be patient and pray.
 
T

twinkles

Guest
#13
#13
all i can say is...in Gods perfect timing, you going to meet that "one"...and when you meet him you'll know that this is the man im going to spend the rest of my life with!! I was also like you a couple of months ago, i totally relate to everything you said-the relationship and how you were on a search for the "one" but this all stopped one day, when i went to church and my pastor began to preach about not worrying because until God blesses you with the "one" he'll be your husband-and that's been such a comforting feel:)

God bless you....
 
D

Didiska

Guest
#14
#14
i like what you wrote!

J0Y said:
Why do you feel you need to conform to others expectations? Why is it so important to you that you are married so young? Are you not complete in singleness? Do you believe that God may have other plans for your life right now? Do you not see singleness as a time to grow in Christ more and refine who you are? Can you not trust that God will work things out for you when the time is right? Why are you searching for significance in a man/marriage?

Just some food for thought.

P.S:
I am single
I wanted to be married by 25
I am 36
I choose to trust the Lord
When loneliness kicks in
I go to Jesus
It is not easy to wait
But I believe I am worth it!

Get out and enjoy life!! Do a short-term mission trip! Hang out with your gal friends! Have fun!
Click to expand...
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#15
#15
There's an old 70s song that says, "It's sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along". My older brother used to play this on his guitar a lot. For good reason.

Wait. You'll know when he's the right one and you won't have to wonder or think about it. Please, please, please don't settle and marry just anyone because it's what everyone else is doing or expects you to do. It's your life, your choice and, most importantly, your VOW before God. Make it count for something...a lifetme. And when you consider that it IS for a lifetime, the wait doesn't seem quite so long.

God bless you :)
 
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GreenNnice

Guest
#16
#16
We don't ultimately ,and, , before I continue, let me say, no, I'm not saying we can't seek The One, but by keying, focusing, centering, on God-through prayer and supplication and good christian friends used by God- we FIND the right one, or, to put it succinctly, we don't find The One,God does for us, God bless your search learning to please Him(God).
 
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GreenNnice

Guest
#17
#17
Read book called Passion and Purity, by Elizabeth Elliott
 
B

bigdanny77

Guest
#18
#18
Ill marry you sandstorm7!
 
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Beaa

Guest
#19
#19
mmmmmmmmmmmm????
 
B

Beaa

Guest
#20
#20
i don't understand this chat... :-(
 
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