WHY BUY THE COW WHEN YOU GET THE MILK FOR FREE?

[Jewel5712]

I see it as a kind of a Catch 22.

As singles, we struggle with the desire for sex, but no outlet. However, many of us cling to the hope of a POSSIBLE solution someday, no matter how dim it might seem.

However, even if we get married, we might have an outlet--for a while--but what if that changes and then there is NO outlet anymore, and NO hope, not even the dim possibility, of ever having another one? (Except for the very morbid, who might wish their spouse would pass away so that they can look for another.)

Either way, most of us eventually have to face the unpleasant task of trying to ignore or shelve our desires, whether sooner or later, and whether married or not.

Maybe seasons of singleness and having to abstain from sex IS a "training" for those times in marriages where your spouse gets sick etc and cant or doesnt want sex as you stated earlier?

 

[Tommy379]

I see it as a kind of a Catch 22.

As singles, we struggle with the desire for sex, but no outlet. However, many of us cling to the hope of a POSSIBLE solution someday, no matter how dim it might seem.

However, even if we get married, we might have an outlet--for a while--but what if that changes and then there is NO outlet anymore, and NO hope, not even the dim possibility, of ever having another one? (Except for the very morbid, who might wish their spouse would pass away so that they can look for another.)

Either way, most of us eventually have to face the unpleasant task of trying to ignore or shelve our desires, whether sooner or later, and whether married or not.

Yeah, but I like watching good movies, grilling good meat, and conversing with a good woman.
I can do those things with anyone though, if we get along. So if I get along well with a gal, and she would have sex with me. Probably a good candidate for marriage.
Then again, I'm pretty loyal, so I don't go looking for anyone else.

 

[seoulsearch]

Maybe seasons of singleness and having to abstain from sex IS a "training" for those times in marriages where your spouse gets sick etc and cant or doesnt want sex as you stated earlier?

Exactly.

I have often wondered this myself.

Even if a single does indeed get married and gets a supposed VIP pass, it doesn't mean it's going to be valid forever.

 

[blue_ladybug]

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

[Jewel5712]

Like Calibob stated earlier..hed want to make sure the milk wasnt "sour" before buying the cow..n ive heard this sooooo many times by men..they wanna make sure theyre sexually "compatable" with someone before marrying..what do you all think of that?

 

[seoulsearch]

Yeah, but I like watching good movies, grilling good meat, and conversing with a good woman.
I can do those things with anyone though, if we get along. So if I get along well with a gal, and she would have sex with me. Probably a good candidate for marriage.
Then again, I'm pretty loyal, so I don't go looking for anyone else.

I understand what you're trying to say, Tommy.

I just think it's a very complex thing.

Because if you reverse the situation... Then you are essentially saying that you could marry any woman you enjoy spending time with and would want to have sex with.

I'm guessing that by your definition (women whom men like being around and want to have sex with), men have a whole heap of candidates that they could potentially marry...

And we all know this isn't true.

One need only spend 5 minutes in the Family Forum to know that doesn't work.

 

[Tommy379]

I understand what you're trying to say, Tommy.

I just think it's a very complex thing.

Because if you reverse the situation... Then you are essentially saying that you could marry any woman you enjoy spending time with and would want to have sex with.

I'm guessing that by your definition (women whom men like being around and want to have sex with), men have a whole heap of candidates that they could potentially marry...

And we all know this isn't true.

One need only spend 5 minutes in the Family Forum to know that doesn't work.

I can only speak for what I'm willing to do, I can't read another person's mind. If I had known my ex was going to, or could contemplate adultery, I wouldn't have married her.
That is the dilemma I see now, not knowing what is really in another's mind..... But if I love someone, I guess it's worth the risk.

 

[zeroturbulence]

So where's all this free milk at??

 

[seoulsearch]

Like Calibob stated earlier..hed want to make sure the milk wasnt "sour" before buying the cow..n ive heard this sooooo many times by men..they wanna make sure theyre sexually "compatable" with someone before marrying..what do you all think of that?

This is one of the many areas where, as tough as it is, God asks us to trust Him to rely on Him instead of what we choose to do or experience for ourselves.

In the Garden of Eden, God said, "Don't eat the fruit," but Adam and Eve decided they had taste it for themselves.

Regarding people who have wronged us, God says, "Vengeance is mine," and tells us to trust Him rather than seeking our own revenge.

Sex seems to fall under this category as well.

I've heard some Christian men say they'd rather marry a stripper than a good Christian girl because a good Christian girl is going to be boring in bed...

But this is another area where God is telling us, "Don't rely on your own experience or desire--do things the way I've asked you to and trust Me to work something out instead."

 

[Jewel5712]

Exactly.

I have often wondered this myself.

Even if a single does indeed get married and gets a supposed VIP pass, it doesn't mean it's going to be valid forever.

I see this the older i get..being in rhe medical field..a lot of peoples perscriptions..even birth control..anti depressanrts surpress the sex drive..nd age in general. Men often need meds etc to help etc..now in biblical days..most couples would be married for 30 yrs (at 50 yrs old) so they wouldnt be starting off in the honeymoon stage in tgier mid 50s ..their phase of love would be more "settled" and maybe a bit less emphesis on sex but the deeper meanings of love as happens to a lot of older couples married for a long time. So..in TODAYS society at the possibility of being single later in life that kinda changes Gods original game plan..

 

[seoulsearch]

So where's all this free milk at??

What about those poor people who are lactose intolerant?

 

[Jewel5712]

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Hiya blue!

 

[Jewel5712]

What about those poor people who are lactose intolerant?

And missin out on all the ice cream! Lol

 

[seoulsearch]

And missin out on all the ice cream! Lol

But why buy the truck when you can get the ice cream for free...

 

[blue_ladybug]

Hiya blue!

 

[Tommy379]

I don't understand the notion of sexual compatibility. As in, got to have sex before marriage, to find out.
Seems to me, people who ascribe to that belief, really have no bedroom skillz. They are a one trick pony, and are desperate to find someone their lame trick works on.

 

[zeroturbulence]

 

[blue_ladybug]

Gabe!!! You naughty fellow, you hoarding all the milk for yourself.. No wonder the grocery store is sold out...

 

[Jewel5712]

I don't understand the notion of sexual compatibility. As in, got to have sex before marriage, to find out.
Seems to me, people who ascribe to that belief, really have no bedroom skillz. They are a one trick pony, and are desperate to find someone their lame trick works on.

I think its just a ploy to get sex before marriage in all honesty.. and i mostly hear it from men after divorced that they had years towards the end of theier marriage there was little or no sex..so maybe not a lack of skill is as much want a guarentee that sex is gonna be good if they marry this person as opposed to the ex?

 

[Tommy379]

So, have we hammered this out? Is sex bad to factor in the decision to marry?