S
I have been praying and believing for a miracle for a long time now, but nothing has changed. My will to go on has diminished and I feel exhausted. My husband is a wonderful person, but not a great husband. I love him with all my heart and don't want to be without him, but our marriage is dead. There is no intimacy, no "dates", no time together, NOTHING! He says nothing is wrong, but I know there must be. I know he is not a real emotional person, AKA romantic, attentive, compassionate, etc., but he sure did do a good job for the four years we dated. I am a believer that marriage doesn't mean you stop showing one another how much you love them and desire to be with them. We have been married for 18 years with two children, a boy 15 and a girl 12, and we literally spend every waking moment with our children if they aren't at school. All the friends stay at our house on weekends, as i prefer it, and love it, but we have no relationship time. I have talked to my husband in a very loving and concerning way at least 2,000 times about how lonely I feel and how I am worried about our future, but nothing really changes. I know to give good advice you probably need about a 20 page explanation of our lives, but the bottom line is I am a married widow and I am very sad and lonely. I desire to deeply to have a bond with my husband and unfortunately I have pulled away from him in order to protect myself. I can't keep having false hope and expectations only to be let down and hurt over and over and over and over again. At this point I don't really have any expectations and my fear is that before long I really won't care and I don't want to get to that point. WHAT DO I DO? Am I to just maintain a lonely life and keep going? I am afraid once our children are out of the house we won't even know each other and certainly have no relationship to enjoy together.
Sad and worried,
Sole
Sad and worried,
Sole