When you're the cause of someone's distance from God?

[IjustWorkHere]

I was in a very sinful relationship that I just got out of yesterday. I knew full well what I was doing but was in a weird season where I guess I thought if I pretended to have no heart for God that it would go away and I could do whatever I felt like without feeling the emotional repercussions or dealing with the consequences ever? It was a really faithless, reckless, foolhardy time and I just kind of kept ignoring the covenant I'd made with God thinking that... I donno? He'd forget about me and vice versa. But weirdly, God used this time and this person -- this utter unbeliever -- to convict me. I'd mention my beliefs in passing and casually slough them off and say "oh, but I'm no exemplar of a 'good Christian'... I mean sure I believe it, but I don't really feel up to it right now..." and he'd say with no irony or condemnation things like "that makes no sense. So you're saying you believe this is your ticket to heaven and eternity -- the only way -- and that you stand to be eternally damned for not abiding by it... and you 'don't feel like it'? You must not really believe it, then..." or when I'd cringe at certain things he'd say or do, or selectively/sporadically refrain from certain sinful behavior, he'd look at me askance -- and rightly so -- as if to say "really? you're okay with this and that but not the other?..." To the point where I finally had to confront it once and for all and ask myself what I was doing... where I was going, how sustainable this farce was of me being double-minded. Who was I kidding. And was I really willing to sacrifice my relationship with the one true King, with my heavenly Father, with the Creator of the universe for the sake of slacking my temporal loneliness? “For what profits a man if he gains the whole world but loses his own soul”... Ironically that was the question my atheist boyfriend kept asking me. I don't think he knew what he was doing. But God was at work... so clearly. And I had to walk away from a man I truly came to love.

I'm troubled now, though... because I know that I hurt him. And just as importantly -- or maybe more -- I know that my hypocrisy is glaring in his mind and only compounds and confirms many of the issues he already had with Christianity. And in our last conversation, the theme he kept reiterating to me was that he had never felt further from God than he did after having known me. Because he couldn't take my faith seriously... because I hadn't demonstrably taken it seriously... and so he couldn't take me seriously, and back to his not being able to take God seriously. And he said much more than that... A lot of really alarming and truly outright blasphemous stuff. It scared me. And I know he was speaking in pain and anger. But I think there was a lot of truth to the emotions he was sharing. And I know that God absolutely is always at work and never stops pursuing us and desires that none should be lost. And I've repented... I have confidence and faith that he'll be saved in spite of himself and in spite of me... and I have assurance and peace in knowing that I'm forgiven... But I just would love if you all could be praying about this with me. And if you have some scriptures I could meditate on. I really could use some support right now. And I know he needs prayer badly.

 

[Lynx]

All I've got on this topic is Ezekiel 33:12-16.

12 Therefore, thou son of man, say unto the children of thy people, The righteousness of the righteous shall not deliver him in the day of his transgression: as for the wickedness of the wicked, he shall not fall thereby in the day that he turneth from his wickedness; neither shall the righteous be able to live for his righteousness in the day that he sinneth.

13 When I shall say to the righteous, that he shall surely live; if he trust to his own righteousness, and commit iniquity, all his righteousnesses shall not be remembered; but for his iniquity that he hath committed, he shall die for it.

14 Again, when I say unto the wicked, Thou shalt surely die; if he turn from his sin, and do that which is lawful and right;

15 If the wicked restore the pledge, give again that he had robbed, walk in the statutes of life, without committing iniquity; he shall surely live, he shall not die.

16 None of his sins that he hath committed shall be mentioned unto him: he hath done that which is lawful and right; he shall surely live.

In other words, whatever you have done officially doesn't matter. What matters is what you are doing now.

 

[Solemateleft]

Welcome to the CC forum Ijustworkhere - I can absolutely relate and empathize with your scenario and your struggle... It does really hit home with me... I believe that you will like it here, and that this forum contributes to your peace..
I pray that you and your partner are able to find your way along a journey with our lord, that both of you are able to gain and maintain greater spiritual awareness with your hearts, soul and faith in our lord. God Bless

 

[Jewel5712]

I was in a very sinful relationship that I just got out of yesterday. I knew full well what I was doing but was in a weird season where I guess I thought if I pretended to have no heart for God that it would go away and I could do whatever I felt like without feeling the emotional repercussions or dealing with the consequences ever? It was a really faithless, reckless, foolhardy time and I just kind of kept ignoring the covenant I'd made with God thinking that... I donno? He'd forget about me and vice versa. But weirdly, God used this time and this person -- this utter unbeliever -- to convict me. I'd mention my beliefs in passing and casually slough them off and say "oh, but I'm no exemplar of a 'good Christian'... I mean sure I believe it, but I don't really feel up to it right now..." and he'd say with no irony or condemnation things like "that makes no sense. So you're saying you believe this is your ticket to heaven and eternity -- the only way -- and that you stand to be eternally damned for not abiding by it... and you 'don't feel like it'? You must not really believe it, then..." or when I'd cringe at certain things he'd say or do, or selectively/sporadically refrain from certain sinful behavior, he'd look at me askance -- and rightly so -- as if to say "really? you're okay with this and that but not the other?..." To the point where I finally had to confront it once and for all and ask myself what I was doing... where I was going, how sustainable this farce was of me being double-minded. Who was I kidding. And was I really willing to sacrifice my relationship with the one true King, with my heavenly Father, with the Creator of the universe for the sake of slacking my temporal loneliness? “For what profits a man if he gains the whole world but loses his own soul”... Ironically that was the question my atheist boyfriend kept asking me. I don't think he knew what he was doing. But God was at work... so clearly. And I had to walk away from a man I truly came to love.

I'm troubled now, though... because I know that I hurt him. And just as importantly -- or maybe more -- I know that my hypocrisy is glaring in his mind and only compounds and confirms many of the issues he already had with Christianity. And in our last conversation, the theme he kept reiterating to me was that he had never felt further from God than he did after having known me. Because he couldn't take my faith seriously... because I hadn't demonstrably taken it seriously... and so he couldn't take me seriously, and back to his not being able to take God seriously. And he said much more than that... A lot of really alarming and truly outright blasphemous stuff. It scared me. And I know he was speaking in pain and anger. But I think there was a lot of truth to the emotions he was sharing. And I know that God absolutely is always at work and never stops pursuing us and desires that none should be lost. And I've repented... I have confidence and faith that he'll be saved in spite of himself and in spite of me... and I have assurance and peace in knowing that I'm forgiven... But I just would love if you all could be praying about this with me. And if you have some scriptures I could meditate on. I really could use some support right now. And I know he needs prayer badly.

Grrat post...i think mamy of us have been or contributed to someone that doesnt beliebe or "compromised our testimony" should i say..whether we admit it or not..the unsaved are "always watching" my gma used to say ESPECIALLY if they know your a christian...ive had a similar situation as you but no scriptire comes to mind yet..i WILL think bout it and pray bout it...ps. This situation isnt just limited to relatiomships either..we can compromise our testimony in the work place..with friemds etc...

 

[PennEd]

I was in a very sinful relationship that I just got out of yesterday. I knew full well what I was doing but was in a weird season where I guess I thought if I pretended to have no heart for God that it would go away and I could do whatever I felt like without feeling the emotional repercussions or dealing with the consequences ever? It was a really faithless, reckless, foolhardy time and I just kind of kept ignoring the covenant I'd made with God thinking that... I donno? He'd forget about me and vice versa. But weirdly, God used this time and this person -- this utter unbeliever -- to convict me. I'd mention my beliefs in passing and casually slough them off and say "oh, but I'm no exemplar of a 'good Christian'... I mean sure I believe it, but I don't really feel up to it right now..." and he'd say with no irony or condemnation things like "that makes no sense. So you're saying you believe this is your ticket to heaven and eternity -- the only way -- and that you stand to be eternally damned for not abiding by it... and you 'don't feel like it'? You must not really believe it, then..." or when I'd cringe at certain things he'd say or do, or selectively/sporadically refrain from certain sinful behavior, he'd look at me askance -- and rightly so -- as if to say "really? you're okay with this and that but not the other?..." To the point where I finally had to confront it once and for all and ask myself what I was doing... where I was going, how sustainable this farce was of me being double-minded. Who was I kidding. And was I really willing to sacrifice my relationship with the one true King, with my heavenly Father, with the Creator of the universe for the sake of slacking my temporal loneliness? “For what profits a man if he gains the whole world but loses his own soul”... Ironically that was the question my atheist boyfriend kept asking me. I don't think he knew what he was doing. But God was at work... so clearly. And I had to walk away from a man I truly came to love.

I'm troubled now, though... because I know that I hurt him. And just as importantly -- or maybe more -- I know that my hypocrisy is glaring in his mind and only compounds and confirms many of the issues he already had with Christianity. And in our last conversation, the theme he kept reiterating to me was that he had never felt further from God than he did after having known me. Because he couldn't take my faith seriously... because I hadn't demonstrably taken it seriously... and so he couldn't take me seriously, and back to his not being able to take God seriously. And he said much more than that... A lot of really alarming and truly outright blasphemous stuff. It scared me. And I know he was speaking in pain and anger. But I think there was a lot of truth to the emotions he was sharing. And I know that God absolutely is always at work and never stops pursuing us and desires that none should be lost. And I've repented... I have confidence and faith that he'll be saved in spite of himself and in spite of me... and I have assurance and peace in knowing that I'm forgiven... But I just would love if you all could be praying about this with me. And if you have some scriptures I could meditate on. I really could use some support right now. And I know he needs prayer badly.

Most of us at various points in our walk have taken the Lord's Name in vain.

That's what it is when we claim His Name, by professing to be Christian, and then commit willful sin.

The good news is that you ARE forgiven, and your Father loves you. He has drawn you back to His sweet embrace.

As to the man you were with?

Show him this post you have written. The Lord may allow him to understand that you do love him, and it is out of that love that you broke it off. And maybe He will accept Jesus as a result. But show him.

Holy Father, I lift up Your daughter to you in prayer, and ask that You heal any wounds she has over this issue. Please use her, us, and everything else in Your Kingdom to reach this lost man. In Jesus powerful Name I pray.

 

[Magenta]

Most of us at various points in our walk have taken the Lord's Name in vain.

That's what it is when we claim His Name, by professing to be Christian, and then commit willful sin.

The good news is that you ARE forgiven, and your Father loves you. He has drawn you back to His sweet embrace.

As to the man you were with?

Show him this post you have written. The Lord may allow him to understand that you do love him, and it is out of that love that you broke it off. And maybe He will accept Jesus as a result. But show him.

Holy Father, I lift up Your daughter to you in prayer, and ask that You heal any wounds she has over this issue. Please use her, us, and everything else in Your Kingdom to reach this lost man. In Jesus powerful Name I pray.

Amen ​

 

[zeroturbulence]

I was in a very sinful relationship that I just got out of yesterday. I knew full well what I was doing but was in a weird season where I guess I thought if I pretended to have no heart for God that it would go away and I could do whatever I felt like without feeling the emotional repercussions or dealing with the consequences ever? It was a really faithless, reckless, foolhardy time and I just kind of kept ignoring the covenant I'd made with God thinking that... I donno? He'd forget about me and vice versa. But weirdly, God used this time and this person -- this utter unbeliever -- to convict me. I'd mention my beliefs in passing and casually slough them off and say "oh, but I'm no exemplar of a 'good Christian'... I mean sure I believe it, but I don't really feel up to it right now..." and he'd say with no irony or condemnation things like "that makes no sense. So you're saying you believe this is your ticket to heaven and eternity -- the only way -- and that you stand to be eternally damned for not abiding by it... and you 'don't feel like it'? You must not really believe it, then..." or when I'd cringe at certain things he'd say or do, or selectively/sporadically refrain from certain sinful behavior, he'd look at me askance -- and rightly so -- as if to say "really? you're okay with this and that but not the other?..." To the point where I finally had to confront it once and for all and ask myself what I was doing... where I was going, how sustainable this farce was of me being double-minded. Who was I kidding. And was I really willing to sacrifice my relationship with the one true King, with my heavenly Father, with the Creator of the universe for the sake of slacking my temporal loneliness? “For what profits a man if he gains the whole world but loses his own soul”... Ironically that was the question my atheist boyfriend kept asking me. I don't think he knew what he was doing. But God was at work... so clearly. And I had to walk away from a man I truly came to love.

I'm troubled now, though... because I know that I hurt him. And just as importantly -- or maybe more -- I know that my hypocrisy is glaring in his mind and only compounds and confirms many of the issues he already had with Christianity. And in our last conversation, the theme he kept reiterating to me was that he had never felt further from God than he did after having known me. Because he couldn't take my faith seriously... because I hadn't demonstrably taken it seriously... and so he couldn't take me seriously, and back to his not being able to take God seriously. And he said much more than that... A lot of really alarming and truly outright blasphemous stuff. It scared me. And I know he was speaking in pain and anger. But I think there was a lot of truth to the emotions he was sharing. And I know that God absolutely is always at work and never stops pursuing us and desires that none should be lost. And I've repented... I have confidence and faith that he'll be saved in spite of himself and in spite of me... and I have assurance and peace in knowing that I'm forgiven... But I just would love if you all could be praying about this with me. And if you have some scriptures I could meditate on. I really could use some support right now. And I know he needs prayer badly.

You shouldn't be troubled. He was already an atheist. You can't get further from God than that. All you might have done was confirm what he already believed. I once dated a christian woman several years before I accepted Jesus and I made her question her faith because i was good at making arguments against God.....

But in due time, my own stubborn, analytical mind couldn't deny that God had to exist.. and then I turned to Christ. No one preached to me or anything... But I think maybe someone was praying for me. Anyway, he just liked the way you were acting because it was in line with what he believed and it made him feel more assured about his opinion of christians. Believe me when I tell you this...... if you had done the opposite and tried to be a perfect christian and tried to convince him that you were right about God, you most likely would have had absolutely no effect at all on his belief system. I used to not be a christian and whenever people tried to convince me that christianity was right I simply took it as a challenge to prove them wrong and it's not difficult to poke holes in christianity's beliefs at all.

So don't feel bad. Just pray for him if you want him to change.