Confused about relationships

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Dakota07

Guest
#1
#1
Ok so (I am 21 years old) I dated this guy for about 8 months and he broke up with me in March of 2010. He absolutely broke my heart. I thought I got over him and started dating another guy at the beginning of May 2010. I like this guy a lot and we are still together, but recently I found out that my ex is dating again and it has brought up some angry, bitter, jealous emotions. I am questioning everything. Should I have let my ex boyfriend be for a while and try to rekindle the relationship a little later rather than dating someone else? is my current boyfriend just a rebound? My current boyfriend often tells me that sometimes he feels like the devil is trying to pull us apart, but lately I have been questioning our relationship too. I have been wondering since it has been so long, shouldn't I not be having these feelings? It just seems like I should be over it by now and not care. But I can't let it go. I'm so discontent and I hate it. I cried to my boyfriend a couple days ago and a few weeks prior to that and told him I have been feeling angry about all this. I told him that I don't want to be with my ex, because in my mind I know I don't want to be.

But I don't know if my heart is at the same understanding.

Sometimes I wonder if my ex would've tried to get back together with me if I hadn't started dating someone else and wonder if he's only dating someone else because I am unavailable now. (by the way, my ex's current girlfriend has a lot in common with me - a business major and went to cosmetology school). I'm currently in school and a business major and plan to go to cosmetology school.

I'm just confused and don't know what to do. My current boyfriend has told me he loves me and I have not said it back. I get confused because he has told me that there have been days where he thought he was going to break up with me and days he thought I was going to break up with him (even though I never mentioned anything about breaking up).
 
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FreedomFighter827

Guest
#2
#2
Know that feeling... sucks huh?
Unfortunately I still don't know how to deal with it to help you... I just wanted you to know your not alone.
I ended up getting over the ex and trying to be happy about their relationship while getting on with my own... two years later the only times I have spoken to my BF in the last 2 weeks have been about the media at church.... we used to have a lot in common and the fact that he wasn't a Christian didn't bother me, but I stopped being military oriented and now we don't talk at all really... We don't really know where we stand atm, we are officially still together, but sorta are barely close friends in reality... this may not happen to you, but it's possible.
God be with you.
 
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sportygirl

Guest
#3
#3
I would say prayer, and more prayer. The devil does use interesting things to attack us and ex's are a huge way. I know my ex who I was with for nine months who also broke my heart has occasionally caused doubt in my mind, but taking some time to myself to reflect and such really helped. Now I can see him and not be upset. With your current bf talk to him, i mean you did start dating soon after you broke up with your ex but that doesnt mean your feelings arent legit, but rebounds can also happen, i realize now the guy i liked after my ex even though we never dated was sort of my rebound crush as hard as I tried to not let him be that. And it takes time to truely heal, you may want to be over it by now but everyone works in their own time. I know it took me a lot longer then I thought to completly get over things, and to heal and even know there is still some damage there that he caused that I am being forced to work through. But, God is really the only one that can work through these things with you and with God's help your current bf may be able to help you as well.
 
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ilavjesus

Guest
#4
#4
YES..I HAVE THE SAME EXPERIENCE TOO...AFTER MY EX BROKE MY HEART AND LEFT THE CITY WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE IT SEEMED IM DYING...CRYING EVRY NIGHTS AND LESS EAT...IT HAPPENS EVRYDAY TIL 4 MONTHS...AND WHEN SOMEONE COURTED AFTER 8MONTHS..I JUST USED HIM AS REBOUND AND BE MY COMFORT EVEN I DONT REALLY LIKE HIM...HES A CHRISTIANS(BOTH OF THEM) AND HES LOVES ME TOO MUCH AND ACCEPTED THE REALITY OF THE SITUATION..THE BAD THING IS...ME AND MY EX NEVER HAD CLOSURE...THATS WHY SOMETIMES THERES SO MANY SPECULATIONS THAT RUNNING OUT MY MIND.LIKE,MAYBE IF DIDNT ACCEPT MY BF NOW...MAYBE HE WILL COME BACK TO ME; OR HE STILL LOVES ME AND JUST WAITED THE RIGHT TIME AND IT WILL BE MY FAULT OF NOT WAITING FOR HIM....TIL NOW IM STILL THINKING OF HIM AND MY BF KNOWS THAT FOR IM OPEN TO HIM;HES LIKE MY BESTFRIEND...WHEN I READ JOSHUA HARRIS BOOKS"BOY MEET GIRL"THERE I REALIZE THAT GOD HAS PURPOSE IN EVRYTHING HAPPEND IN OUR LIFE...SOMETIMES WE HURT CAUSE BY OUR SIN..OR TO BECOME MATURE AND TO LEARN LESSONS....
BUT I KNOW ONE THING THAT GOD WILL REVEAL TO ME TEH RIGHT THING TO DO....
 
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juliet84

Guest
#5
#5
Seems like you havent moved on, but I dont think talking about your ex to ur current bf is a good idea..No men like to be compared with the exes..When you are in confusion, you need time and space to calm down and to get back to your senses again by doing some reflection on your own. Ill be praying for you..
 
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NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#6
#6
juliet84 said:
Seems like you havent moved on, but I dont think talking about your ex to ur current bf is a good idea..No men like to be compared with the exes..When you are in confusion, you need time and space to calm down and to get back to your senses again by doing some reflection on your own. Ill be praying for you..
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Personally i like to use pie charts and set up a presentation for my current boyfriend to help me compare him with all my other boyfriends...
 
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