I often hear the encouragement I need through Contemporary Christian music. Most of the songs are written after the writer experiences worldly trauma.. no I’m not suggesting this will bring you closure l, or answers.... but if you need to bring yourself to be in the right spirits to help you focus clearly on your next steps... it could be a great way. And once again, best of luck, and I know that even though you’ve lost your trust with God, he will never let go of youI dont think you rude or arrogant, Ive been praying for many years and earlier this year I dont know why but Im not feeling God with me. Im just fed up with waiting on a maybe, and this ever present millstone.