new and seeking friends
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Hi Rapturechris. I am kind of new here too.
How about defining friend in your view: do you mean people that think exactly like you? or do you also include people that think way different than you?
You could always share a bit more about you: do you have a denomination or tradition history? are there particular topics that really attract you in the Bible or about Christianity?
What do you consider you ministry to be, and what would be a successful outcome.
You come across to me like someone very interested in eschatology, but can't really tell.
Just Icebreakers, to see if we can contribute some with your life mission, purpose, ministry, etc.
Kind regards.
How about defining friend in your view: do you mean people that think exactly like you? or do you also include people that think way different than you?
You could always share a bit more about you: do you have a denomination or tradition history? are there particular topics that really attract you in the Bible or about Christianity?
What do you consider you ministry to be, and what would be a successful outcome.
You come across to me like someone very interested in eschatology, but can't really tell.
Just Icebreakers, to see if we can contribute some with your life mission, purpose, ministry, etc.
Kind regards.
Hi OP, welcome to CChat! I'm so sorry that you're going through hard times right now, but I'm glad that you've come here. I will be praying for you both for the difficulty that you're having as well as for you to find good friends here who will also come alongside you to pray and be supportive. Know that you are loved and that you're definitely not alone.
I don't know what it is that you are dealing with right now, but this verse is always a comfort to my heart (in many different kinds of situations) -- Deuteronomy 31:6 (ESV) Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you."
It always helps me to remember that God is not going to abandon me in the middle of my troubles, and He isn't going to just forget about me. He is with me, even going through them so I don't have to be afraid.
It always helps me to remember that God is not going to abandon me in the middle of my troubles, and He isn't going to just forget about me. He is with me, even going through them so I don't have to be afraid.
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I got out of bad relationship. When I got married to him first year was fine, but then I started to realise he was abusive emotionally , verbally , fiscally, and financialy. Maybe I didn't see first year everything because I was pregnant and working for 12 hour shifts. He didn't want to work and would find any excuse to leave the jobs he started. After 3 years I was pregnant with second and found out he was cheering all our marriage. It's been 2 years now that I tried to forgive him and did bit I don't respect him or love him anymore. Sence I found out he was cheering we live like 2 strangers in separate rooms. I want him gone and devorse for good but he doesn't want to. He wants to live in home with us even though he don't spend time or money on kids. He works now but spends all money on himself and I have to pay bills, buy foodc clothing alone.
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(((((((OP))))))) (that is an online hug, in case you didn't know)... I don't know what to say about your situation (other than it makes me very sad that you are going through such bad things and that your husband treats you and your children so badly) but.. the one thing that I do know without any doubt at all is that God has NOT forgotten you and that, even though it feels very heavy and overwhelming, He has NOT left you alone in that place of misery in your life.
Even though I don't know you face to face, you are my sister in Christ and my heart breaks for the heartache that you are living with. And I will be praying for you and your children-- and your husband-- and for God to guide you and give you wisdom, strength, and courage to know what to do and to be able to do it.
Even though I don't know you face to face, you are my sister in Christ and my heart breaks for the heartache that you are living with. And I will be praying for you and your children-- and your husband-- and for God to guide you and give you wisdom, strength, and courage to know what to do and to be able to do it.
Thank you for praying for us and your support. I realy appreciate it because I can't even talk to anyone I know. Most of the people know me think I have perfect life. For the past gear I have changed and can protect myself against my husbands abuse he has no more power over me anymore. All I wanted in life to have partner and best friend and worship God. I just need prayers to get back on my feet and have better relationship with God. I still have so many questions to God why my kids need to go thought this.
You're welcome. Although the details of the situation were different, I went through a very similar kind of situation earlier in my life--- where I couldn't talk to anyone about what was happening (because my husband was a pastor and, in my case, I didn't think anyone would believe me bc he had such a perfect image-- that I had helped him have by trying to be what I believed was being a good wife).. and everyone believed we had a perfect life. It has been many years since I became free from his abuse but it took me a long time to finally find healing from what I went through with him. I am so glad for you that you have taken away his power over you, that is a better place than living in the constant fear or abuse, although I know it is still very hard.
I wanted the same-- someone to share my life with, a partner and best friend who would worship God with me. I wanted someone who would hold me and pray for me-- pray with me- as well as laugh and enjoy life with me. My heart still breaks to have a man like that who loves God and who is kind and who can truly love me for who I am. Hopefully we both have good chapters of life ahead for us. And I understand and am also spending this time of waiting to rebuild (and build stronger) my relationship with God.
I know that it is hard to understand the pain, especially when it affects our children and hurts them as well. But keep praying and holding onto the truths of God and His love and His faithfulness.. and His promises. You may never have an absolute answer to the "why" questions, but God can use what has happened to make you stronger-- and your children as well.
I wanted the same-- someone to share my life with, a partner and best friend who would worship God with me. I wanted someone who would hold me and pray for me-- pray with me- as well as laugh and enjoy life with me. My heart still breaks to have a man like that who loves God and who is kind and who can truly love me for who I am. Hopefully we both have good chapters of life ahead for us. And I understand and am also spending this time of waiting to rebuild (and build stronger) my relationship with God.
I know that it is hard to understand the pain, especially when it affects our children and hurts them as well. But keep praying and holding onto the truths of God and His love and His faithfulness.. and His promises. You may never have an absolute answer to the "why" questions, but God can use what has happened to make you stronger-- and your children as well.
Thank you for sharing your story. It is very hard to stop abuser to have infuance on you. It took me 2 years. At this moment I want God to protect my kids from him. He still sees them and I don't want him to. The healing process takes long time but hopefully you and me will find peace in God. We have very similar stories. I can't share it with anyone because everyone thinks he is perfect. My parents only know because few years ago he hit me in front of them. I don't want them to know everything because they have health conditions and this will kill them. Do you have kids?
I do have 2 (grown now). Back then, after so many years of his mental abuse and manipulation, I had reached a point where I believed that I deserved how he treated me-- I believed that it was bc I was a bad person. What woke me up to realize that it was him.. and that it was abuse.. was that I started seeing that he was treating my (then VERY young) children the same way that he treated me. (He didn't physically abuse me nor them..so it's hard to explain exactly to someone else. It was more a matter of mind games as well as so much more. He was very subtle about much of it.. thus the mind games part.) As I said, I didn't talk to anyone about it for so many years.. and then when I finally broke and tried to most people thought I'd just gone crazy and wanted to break free to live a sinful life. It's very hard to explain even now and it took me a while before I really saw what he was doing to all of us.
Sorry, I didn't mean to go on and on. Again, it's very difficult to explain even now so I falter in trying to do so. My point in trying to was really just to say that when he treated me that way I felt (after 10 years of being married to him and being broken down as a person).. I felt that I deserved it... BUT.. when I realized and saw him treating my children the same way-- hurting them the same way and breaking them down, even as small children, I woke up and got us out of there. If it hadn't been for them I probably would have stayed with him (a lot longer, anyway) bc I struggled so hard about leaving and felt so guilty and wrong for doing it. He was also very spiritually abusive and used my love for God against me by telling me that if I left him that I would be an apostate and that God would never forgive me. That I would be turning my back on my family, my church, God, and my faith... and that it could never be made right. (All lies.) It was the hardest thing that I ever did, but of any decisions that I have made and questioned later, that was not one of them. I did go to counseling for several years bc of it all and it helped me very much, so I would encourage you to talk with someone who can help you sort it out and find the healing that you need.
As horrible as it is, and as I'm sure it was for your parents, that they saw him hit you... in a way it's so good that they did bc their knowing will help you because it validates what you know to be true (whereas people not knowing and not seeing it... thinking you have a perfect life...can create pressure inside of you to doubt yourself or not to take action against the abuse.) I had one person who saw what he was doing-- who was close enough to us that he would slip up around her (where he was perfect at playing the game with everyone else.. but.. bc she was quiet and around a lot, he would forget and make mistakes in front of her so she knew.. and it helped me to believe myself and to realize that I wasn't crazy like he'd convinced me that I was.) God really used her to help me see it for what it was and to get help.. and I am SO thankful.
Sorry, I didn't mean to go on and on. Again, it's very difficult to explain even now so I falter in trying to do so. My point in trying to was really just to say that when he treated me that way I felt (after 10 years of being married to him and being broken down as a person).. I felt that I deserved it... BUT.. when I realized and saw him treating my children the same way-- hurting them the same way and breaking them down, even as small children, I woke up and got us out of there. If it hadn't been for them I probably would have stayed with him (a lot longer, anyway) bc I struggled so hard about leaving and felt so guilty and wrong for doing it. He was also very spiritually abusive and used my love for God against me by telling me that if I left him that I would be an apostate and that God would never forgive me. That I would be turning my back on my family, my church, God, and my faith... and that it could never be made right. (All lies.) It was the hardest thing that I ever did, but of any decisions that I have made and questioned later, that was not one of them. I did go to counseling for several years bc of it all and it helped me very much, so I would encourage you to talk with someone who can help you sort it out and find the healing that you need.
As horrible as it is, and as I'm sure it was for your parents, that they saw him hit you... in a way it's so good that they did bc their knowing will help you because it validates what you know to be true (whereas people not knowing and not seeing it... thinking you have a perfect life...can create pressure inside of you to doubt yourself or not to take action against the abuse.) I had one person who saw what he was doing-- who was close enough to us that he would slip up around her (where he was perfect at playing the game with everyone else.. but.. bc she was quiet and around a lot, he would forget and make mistakes in front of her so she knew.. and it helped me to believe myself and to realize that I wasn't crazy like he'd convinced me that I was.) God really used her to help me see it for what it was and to get help.. and I am SO thankful.