Longing for a wife /family

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CasS22

CasS22

Junior Member
#1
Oct 22, 2014
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#1
I’m 33 years old , and at the point where I would love to be married and have a family .

In today’s world it’s especially hard to find a woman the respects God and his word and actually fears him . I don’t want to rush anything with anyone nor settle yet I find myself slowly slipping into temptation time to time and every time feeling more empty .

I understand Jesus love should be enough , but clearly I’m not close enough to him just yet , or not his timing. But curious if some of you feel the same and how you cope?

I suppose like most we all want everything right away and that’s not how are father operates, I’m starting to think that is not in his plans as I’m not getting any younger and as I get older kids would be a lot of work should that happen down the road .

Any words of advice or encouragement would be appreciated .

Thanks in advance
 
danja

danja

Senior Member
#2
Nov 28, 2014
2,067
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#2
i believe in God's perfect timing :)
 
melita916

melita916

Senior Member
#3
Aug 12, 2011
10,464
2,692
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#3
I understand the feeling. What helped me is when I got to the place in life where I was ok with being single. If I never married, I knew it was going to be ok. I kept living life: spending time with my family and being involved at my local fellowship.

Don’t get me wrong. I still had moments of loneliness. I would talk to God about it, and His Spirit would minister to me.

His timing is perfect.
 
CasS22

CasS22

Junior Member
#4
Oct 22, 2014
28
34
13
#4
melita916 said:
I understand the feeling. What helped me is when I got to the place in life where I was ok with being single. If I never married, I knew it was going to be ok. I kept living life: spending time with my family and being involved at my local fellowship.

Don’t get me wrong. I still had moments of loneliness. I would talk to God about it, and His Spirit would minister to me.

His timing is perfect.
Click to expand...
I understand his timing is perfect , his example of that in my life couldn’t be more evident , but as human aka the flesh , some things we try to rush or think we have it all planned out.

Patience has something I’ve been struggling with all my life and I suppose this is just another area of my life where I need to be more patient .

Anyway thanks for your words , always helps when you know your not alone and some one else is facing it too.

Have a wonderful day 😊
 
Demi777

Demi777

Senior Member
#5
Oct 13, 2014
6,889
1,958
113
Germany
#5
To be honest it didn't get better until I got together with my bf.
I find God doesn't send anyone until you can deal with yourself and are secure
 
CasS22

CasS22

Junior Member
#6
Oct 22, 2014
28
34
13
#6
Demi777 said:
To be honest it didn't get better until I got together with my bf.
I find God doesn't send anyone until you can deal with yourself and are secure
Click to expand...
You are right , I know there’s work I need to do with myself .

It’s funny when I’m not looking girls seem to gravitate and are interested , when I am there no where to be found , the devil is crafty at how he temps me . But your words were something I had thought of and reading them reaffirms just that . Some days are easy others are hard.
 
Demi777

Demi777

Senior Member
#8
Oct 13, 2014
6,889
1,958
113
Germany
#8
CasS22 said:
You are right , I know there’s work I need to do with myself .

It’s funny when I’m not looking girls seem to gravitate and are interested , when I am there no where to be found , the devil is crafty at how he temps me . But your words were something I had thought of and reading them reaffirms just that . Some days are easy others are hard.
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The thing is, id we cant live with ourselves how are we supposed to live with someone else. Most relationships fail because of daily small things. Its not as easy as imagined
 
Mel85

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
#9
Mar 28, 2018
10,910
6,897
113
#9
I’m in the same boat as you but like danja said, Gods timing is perfect rather than our timing - which could get us into alot of trouble lol.

What helps me most times is focusing on God and what He wants, rather than what I want. Not gonna lie, it’s a struggle but only Christ can see me through.
 
CasS22

CasS22

Junior Member
#10
Oct 22, 2014
28
34
13
#10
Demi777 said:
The thing is, id we cant live with ourselves how are we supposed to live with someone else. Most relationships fail because of daily small things. Its not as easy as imagined
Click to expand...
Oh I’m aware , been in some , problem the foundation wasn’t built on Jesus and his word , was a worldly one . It’s not that I’m not happy alone , like us all we get that loneliness , and rather long for a women I ought to be calling upon the Lord and I fall short of that I suppose cause I don’t get the physical/worldly in the flesh side from that , so it seems anyway . He’s Omni present and I know he’s there . Just tough at times is all
 
CasS22

CasS22

Junior Member
#11
Oct 22, 2014
28
34
13
#11
Mel85 said:
I’m in the same boat as you but like danja said, Gods timing is perfect rather than our timing - which could get us into alot of trouble lol.

What helps me most times is focusing on God and what He wants, rather than what I want. Not gonna lie, it’s a struggle but only Christ can see me through.
Click to expand...
Like you I know better but fall short , yes it’s a battle that can be won just need to see it through .
 
Mel85

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
#12
Mar 28, 2018
10,910
6,897
113
#12
CasS22 said:
Like you I know better but fall short , yes it’s a battle that can be won just need to see it through .
Click to expand...
Trust me, I don’t know better.... only God does.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#13
Aug 13, 2014
27,369
9,377
113
#13
melita916 said:
I understand the feeling. What helped me is when I got to the place in life where I was ok with being single. If I never married, I knew it was going to be ok. I kept living life: spending time with my family and being involved at my local fellowship.

Don’t get me wrong. I still had moments of loneliness. I would talk to God about it, and His Spirit would minister to me.

His timing is perfect.
Click to expand...
Yeah, what she said.

If you wind up never getting married, will you be okay? When you get to the end of your life will you consider it well lived, whether you have found a spouse or not?
 
CasS22

CasS22

Junior Member
#14
Oct 22, 2014
28
34
13
#14
Lynx said:
Yeah, what she said.

If you wind up never getting married, will you be okay? When you get to the end of your life will you consider it well lived, whether you have found a spouse or not?
Click to expand...
I’m learning to put God first , well what one would consider to be a good life may not be in the eyes of the Lord , I will be ok with what ever ends up , if that is alone so be it , I won’t go against God to achieve it though , I will do my best to follow his word , and things will turn out as they may.

Ideally I would like a family but in today’s world and more I dwell on it not so sure it’s a good time we are in the end days .... it’s a bag of mixed emotions really I need to sort through
 
Lighthearted

Lighthearted

Senior Member
#15
Oct 17, 2016
1,779
818
113
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#15
CasS22 said:
I understand his timing is perfect , his example of that in my life couldn’t be more evident , but as human aka the flesh , some things we try to rush or think we have it all planned out.

Patience has something I’ve been struggling with all my life and I suppose this is just another area of my life where I need to be more patient .

Anyway thanks for your words , always helps when you know your not alone and some one else is facing it too.

Have a wonderful day 😊
Click to expand...
I've experienced the consequences and lesson that comes from being impatient with God's timing with many things, including a man of God. So, my advice...stick to patience (just don't pray for Him to give you patience...cause WOW is that a lesson you don't want! Some peeps here know exactly what I mean !
Just remember that He has only the best plans for your life and KNOWS what's best for you!
Like Melita said, focus on the people around you and all the ways you can be in olved in serving Him in church outreach and your community.
 
W

Wild

Guest
#16
#16
Bro, focus on bettering yourself in all aspects. Finances , health, etc. Get your mind and spirit right too. Then when you least expect it, Gods gonna send you what you seek. Good luck man
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#17
Aug 13, 2014
27,369
9,377
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#17
Also focus on the stuff you like to do. Parasailing, making music tracks, cooking gourmet dishes, motorcycles... whatever you like to do, do it now. When you get married it will be restricted substantially.

Mind you, your hobbies probably won't be cut completely off when you get married, just restricted. And you won't really mind - it's a trade-off, and you will like what you get in the trade - but you will regret not doing your hobbies more while you were single.
 
CasS22

CasS22

Junior Member
#18
Oct 22, 2014
28
34
13
#18
Lynx said:
Also focus on the stuff you like to do. Parasailing, making music tracks, cooking gourmet dishes, motorcycles... whatever you like to do, do it now. When you get married it will be restricted substantially.

Mind you, your hobbies probably won't be cut completely off when you get married, just restricted. And you won't really mind - it's a trade-off, and you will like what you get in the trade - but you will regret not doing your hobbies more while you were single.
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Thanks , I don’t have hobbies and I’ll gladly give all that time to my wife and kids, had 33 years to myself . Mind you didn’t get to experience and do everything I wanted but had enough time.
I don’t care about this world and what it has to offer this is where i differ from most , the odd time something peeks my interest but fades quickly. I want what money can’t buy , only Jesus can provide .
 
CasS22

CasS22

Junior Member
#19
Oct 22, 2014
28
34
13
#19
Wild said:
Bro, focus on bettering yourself in all aspects. Finances , health, etc. Get your mind and spirit right too. Then when you least expect it, Gods gonna send you what you seek. Good luck man
Click to expand...
Thanks man , Appreciated
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#20
Aug 13, 2014
27,369
9,377
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#20
You don't have ANY interests, anything you do for fun?
 
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