Knowledge best left to the Unknown

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
When I was young(18), I had a lot of preconceived notions about what being in a relationship meant. I was an adventurous romantic and I was alone. I idealized and mythified what the woman I would marry should be like and what I should be like when I found her. Think Disney Princess meets The End of the Spear. =)

When I was 19 I poured my heart and soul into one relationship but, it wasn't enough and I didn't know any better. I got burned and not just the kind of burned where you write poetry and cry yourself to sleep for a couple of years. I told myself I would learn everything about everything, no matter the cost to myself, my faith, my life or my family. Everything that was wrong and everything that was right was neither wrong nor right but just an experience. I have never regretted anything more in my life.


What I didn't know then, that I know now, is that this information cannot be unlearned. And the 18 year old who idealized about God Love and Adventure, was more right than I will ever know.


I always feel really guilty pursuing innocent people, both because there is a certain naivety associated with that and because I know that they deserve someone who is more like them. The other problem is the other side, people who have seen the dark side don't usually come all the way back.

Does that ever go away or should I perhaps find someone from my same boat?
 
I've been saved from quite a way into the dark side, and whilst Im not all the way back.......Im far enough back to be able to learn from it, and with Gods guidance and wisdom, to be able to, I think, not let it affect too negatively a relationship with someone more innocent.

My language has changed now, and I have no desire to boast about my sins as a non Christian, just to speak of them as an example of Gods mercy, grace, and transforming power! I think I could learn from someone more innocent, and vice versa.........
 
Date whoever the flip you wanna date... Regardless of whatever it is you did or didnt do.
 
especially if they're ex cons,----edited inappropriate content------
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Liamson said:
When I was young(18), I had a lot of preconceived notions about what being in a relationship meant. I was an adventurous romantic and I was alone. I idealized and mythified what the woman I would marry should be like and what I should be like when I found her. Think Disney Princess meets The End of the Spear. =)

When I was 19 I poured my heart and soul into one relationship but, it wasn't enough and I didn't know any better. I got burned and not just the kind of burned where you write poetry and cry yourself to sleep for a couple of years. I told myself I would learn everything about everything, no matter the cost to myself, my faith, my life or my family. Everything that was wrong and everything that was right was neither wrong nor right but just an experience. I have never regretted anything more in my life.


What I didn't know then, that I know now, is that this information cannot be unlearned. And the 18 year old who idealized about God Love and Adventure, was more right than I will ever know.


I always feel really guilty pursuing innocent people, both because there is a certain naivety associated with that and because I know that they deserve someone who is more like them. The other problem is the other side, people who have seen the dark side don't usually come all the way back.

Does that ever go away or should I perhaps find someone from my same boat?
Click to expand...

You are a new creation in Christ. An ONGOING work. As is anyone with whom you seek a relationship, regardless of their level of life experience.

As you and I both know, the military world and the world of law enforcement are very WORLDLY indeed. It leaves imprints and scars, but He heals them and can USE them for His glory in your life and the lives of others. These things seem to make us less judgmental and more compassionate toward the shortcomings of others I think. Makes us more humble toward Him and, I personally believe, somewhat less self-righteous than some who have led much more sheltered lives.

As I said in another thread, God knows our strengths and weaknesses, even those WE don't recognize in ourselves. He also knows exactly how to use the very things we might feel are evil for good (there's even a scripture or two about that :) ).

The lady He brings to you will be that match for you. The things you have learned will allow you to protect her in ways you can't imagine...maybe even draw you closer.

This is a new song by Brandon Heath: YouTube - Brandon Heath Your Love

There's a line in it that says: "Though my innocence was taken, not everything is lost." :)

God is a loving god of restoration.
 
I have often had thoughts that my life has to many unattractive things about it, past and current, that noone would want to be a part of.
I do realize there are consequences for ones past (whether it was something brought on by themselves or not).....but ultimately dwelling on that is just another lie of the enemy.

As christians, I do not think it should really matter about ones past. Of course we are given wisdom do discern for our own safely and the safety of those around us....but if someone just had a *wild* past going to clubs and drinking etc....that is all water under the bridge and forgiven if that is not a part of the persons life currently.

It is best to get to know someone at face value and understand the core of who they are....if there is enough there to build a relationship on, then I do not think there would be anything to prevent two people from getting through anything together.

Some people say that love is not enough...but I beg to differ. Scripture says that a cord of three strands is not easily broken. That is the strongest, purest love to bond two people together...a love woven and intertwined with Christ.
 
Liamson, I said all of the above from my heart and experience. My late husband was quite a bit older than me and, having already served in the military when I met him, certainly more worldly wise, as I was only a dreamy-eyed girl of 18. We were married for around 15 amazing years. He protected me from so much, including myself at times. It happens. If it's what you want and what God wants for you, I'm with Nod. God for it! :) God bless!
 
If I'm reading you right, you mentioned a dark side to love. Almost as if you should not think about that aspect and wishing you could just go back to being 'innocent' of your knowledge of such things.

But is love really this innocent, easy going, naive thing which mirrors Disney movies?

I think love is both fluffy, idealistic and dark and raw.

The most extreme display of love came from Jesus. How did he show it?

With pain, agony and desire.

You're not jaded or losing your innocence if you understand the raw and 'dark' side of love. Rather you're just getting a firmer grasp on reality.

Love isn't just the warm embrace of our savior it's also the grit and grind of the nails and cross.

Why should we think our love will be any less?
 
Those of us who've been through labor totally agree with your post, Mr Waters :)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom
Back