By Linda Shultz part 2
God was so faithful as I took my baby steps toward my heavenly Father.
Not knowing then, I had never dealt with my alcoholism (a symptom of my unconscious reliance on myself), I isolated from men and dating for five years.
Inside of me was a deep-rooted, ever-present fear and pain. I started drinking to push it down inside my soul (denial). But the disease (a life run on self-will) took over. Ashamed, I reached out to a man who told me of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Embarrassed, I went to my first meeting. Considering myself a Christian, having pictured my identity as one, I thought I had learned all I’d ever need to know about God.
But, my identity was still deeply rooted in being a “good self.” I continued to run “my” own life. I just looked different on the outside! I made a decision to surrender myself to working the 12 steps, sensing the Father would use them to teach me. And well He did. By then, I had been in the Christ-life for about three years. In the 4th and 5th steps of AA, I made a fearless moral inventory of my resentments, listed my fears, and looked into my sexual past. In this process, I was willing to see the truth of what I had denied for so long.
As I read my 5th step to my sponsor, God did a mighty work. For the very first time, I saw my filthy rags; I saw the wreckage and pain I had caused my family and others over a lifetime of chasing satisfaction and yet never being satisfied. I had a profound revelation of Christ in me as my only hope of glory. At last, I tasted freedom from the bondage of the independent self!
Humbled by the truth, no longer in denial, I broke in such a way that it brought about an incredible release.
Words cannot describe the deep sense of peace that followed. From that moment on, Christ has become my only life. “I have been crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live: yet not I, but Christ liveth in me!” (Gal.
2:20). Not a theory, not a program, not a religion!
His life manifested in me as me, a thought so profound its implications still baffle and amaze me. Yet the knowledge of this life is my only obsession. My only goal today is to know the power of His resurrection in me. I remain sober years later, and I have no intention to ever drink again. Not because I find my identity as an alcoholic, but because AA taught me that I have a physical allergy to alcohol.
Remember, we are soul, body and Spirit. Warren taught me the body has pulls of its own! I wandered from my identity as a wife and mother to my identity as a free-spirited woman of the world; I was loved into surrendering to Christ and finally found true identity as a Christ-person, a Christian.
Restless never the less to find my life hid in Him while in this “school house” we call Earth. If you are reading this article of my life transformed by the power of this Christ- life message, it means that the Spirit is drawing you to know Him. And your heart will indeed be restless until you do. Don’t wait, don’t resist. You will never know true freedom or peace until you do. Now, no matter where I go, no matter what I do on the outside, it is His life manifesting His love into the
world through me. I now rest in knowing that His Spirit will guide me to touch the lost and the hungry with this life-affirming message.
Circumstances and situations remain my teachers. I still have my times of struggle and slip into my false identity, but those times have become fewer as I rest in His finished work. I wonder sometimes why the Father chose me to reveal His eternal plan, and my heart breaks for those still lost or caught up in “doer” religion.
But, He is faithful. I am now free to let His love, His peace and His life shine through me to a lost and hurting world. In the process, I have found my true and only identity! What a glorious Father we have! I
look forward to the day with great anticipation when my Father comes to take me home to the place He has prepared for me in His Heaven where I will continue to learn of the depths of His wondrous love eternally. Remember, “he that hath the Son hath life; and he that hath not the Son of God hath not life” (1 John 5:12).
God was so faithful as I took my baby steps toward my heavenly Father.
Not knowing then, I had never dealt with my alcoholism (a symptom of my unconscious reliance on myself), I isolated from men and dating for five years.
Inside of me was a deep-rooted, ever-present fear and pain. I started drinking to push it down inside my soul (denial). But the disease (a life run on self-will) took over. Ashamed, I reached out to a man who told me of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Embarrassed, I went to my first meeting. Considering myself a Christian, having pictured my identity as one, I thought I had learned all I’d ever need to know about God.
But, my identity was still deeply rooted in being a “good self.” I continued to run “my” own life. I just looked different on the outside! I made a decision to surrender myself to working the 12 steps, sensing the Father would use them to teach me. And well He did. By then, I had been in the Christ-life for about three years. In the 4th and 5th steps of AA, I made a fearless moral inventory of my resentments, listed my fears, and looked into my sexual past. In this process, I was willing to see the truth of what I had denied for so long.
As I read my 5th step to my sponsor, God did a mighty work. For the very first time, I saw my filthy rags; I saw the wreckage and pain I had caused my family and others over a lifetime of chasing satisfaction and yet never being satisfied. I had a profound revelation of Christ in me as my only hope of glory. At last, I tasted freedom from the bondage of the independent self!
Humbled by the truth, no longer in denial, I broke in such a way that it brought about an incredible release.
Words cannot describe the deep sense of peace that followed. From that moment on, Christ has become my only life. “I have been crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live: yet not I, but Christ liveth in me!” (Gal.
2:20). Not a theory, not a program, not a religion!
His life manifested in me as me, a thought so profound its implications still baffle and amaze me. Yet the knowledge of this life is my only obsession. My only goal today is to know the power of His resurrection in me. I remain sober years later, and I have no intention to ever drink again. Not because I find my identity as an alcoholic, but because AA taught me that I have a physical allergy to alcohol.
Remember, we are soul, body and Spirit. Warren taught me the body has pulls of its own! I wandered from my identity as a wife and mother to my identity as a free-spirited woman of the world; I was loved into surrendering to Christ and finally found true identity as a Christ-person, a Christian.
Restless never the less to find my life hid in Him while in this “school house” we call Earth. If you are reading this article of my life transformed by the power of this Christ- life message, it means that the Spirit is drawing you to know Him. And your heart will indeed be restless until you do. Don’t wait, don’t resist. You will never know true freedom or peace until you do. Now, no matter where I go, no matter what I do on the outside, it is His life manifesting His love into the
world through me. I now rest in knowing that His Spirit will guide me to touch the lost and the hungry with this life-affirming message.
Circumstances and situations remain my teachers. I still have my times of struggle and slip into my false identity, but those times have become fewer as I rest in His finished work. I wonder sometimes why the Father chose me to reveal His eternal plan, and my heart breaks for those still lost or caught up in “doer” religion.
But, He is faithful. I am now free to let His love, His peace and His life shine through me to a lost and hurting world. In the process, I have found my true and only identity! What a glorious Father we have! I
look forward to the day with great anticipation when my Father comes to take me home to the place He has prepared for me in His Heaven where I will continue to learn of the depths of His wondrous love eternally. Remember, “he that hath the Son hath life; and he that hath not the Son of God hath not life” (1 John 5:12).
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