What would cause you to leave church to go to a different one?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
breno785au

breno785au

Senior Member
#21
Jul 23, 2013
6,002
767
113
39
Australia
#21
Waggles said:
Wow now that is both slack and informal.
Click to expand...
I'm not perfect nor dare I think I'm perfect in this but we forget that Jesus is King and He both demands and deserve reverance as such.
I'm currently researching kingship, kingdoms and royalty mainly because in this democratic society I have no idea what that means.
I find the lack of honour towards our leaders in government, whether we agree with them or not (not that agreement has anything to do with the duty of honour) can flow into our relationship with God.
Yes, Jesus is our brother but He is also King.
I think we are getting to comfortable.
 
breno785au

breno785au

Senior Member
#22
Jul 23, 2013
6,002
767
113
39
Australia
#22
Lanolin said:
?!

Last sunday, there was someone sitting at the back of me eating loud crunchy chips during the service. It was really annoying. If they do that again next time, im not sure what to do.

Maybe I ought to come chewing bubble gum and blow bubbles during the service and see if anyone says says anything?
Click to expand...
All you can do is be honest, I don't think the direction of spite is the best way to go.
Learn to be comfortable in being honest with another, even if it may be confronting.. Preaching to myself here too lol
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#23
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#23
breno785au said:
All you can do is be honest, I don't think the direction of spite is the best way to go.
Learn to be comfortable in being honest with another, even if it may be confronting.. Preaching to myself here too lol
Click to expand...
What do I say..can you just not eat loud crunchy chips while the preacher is preaching can you just wait till fellowship afterwards. That person isnt sharing them with anyone else either.
 
breno785au

breno785au

Senior Member
#24
Jul 23, 2013
6,002
767
113
39
Australia
#24
Lanolin said:
What do I say..can you just not eat loud crunchy chips while the preacher is preaching can you just wait till fellowship afterwards. That person isnt sharing them with anyone else either.
Click to expand...
I dunno? Maybe, excuse me I'm finding that really distracting, do you mind stopping? (surely you can wait an hour to eat)
What's in brackets is optional, depending on your mood lol
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#25
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#25
What if they dont listen to me and just carry on eating them.
After all I dont know this person well. But I noticed they were doing it a few other times as well. And they had to pick the loudest crunchiest chips too. They couldnt eat a quieter food if they absolutely had to have food, like..I dont know, bread. when were all eating bread in communion. ?!

I dont think this would cause me to leave a church but it sure interrupts the sermon.
 
Word_Swordsman

Word_Swordsman

Senior Member
#26
Sep 16, 2014
1,666
100
48
#26
Sermons that consist of a an introduction of a couple lines of a scripture, followed by 40 minutes of 3-5 points of social science messages sends us away after attempting to voice an opinion that is ignored. At the rte actual scriptures are covered it might take 300 years for a member to be exposed to the entire Bible. That sometimes is cured for a while by replacing a preacher that should have retired decades ago with one full of the Spirit. But the time comes when he discovers a cache of thousands of sermons desiged for every occasion left behind for his convenience. "Seems we heard that very sermon before?"

Sunday School lessons consisting of the same format. Teacher asks the class to study for next week, then next week reads the whole thing aloud leaving no room for comment, saying "The clock is demanding we finish on time.".

Jealousy among the "founders" who will not tolerate anyone upstaging them with a spiritual gift is a big issue with me. Some examples...."What are your qualifications, Sir? Do you have a doctorate of theology? Oh, a layyyyyman. Well, we already have well prepared men of God ministering here, as you surely know."

Hospitality is nice when it's appropriate, but when that is followed by inhospitable responses when answering a questionaire in the bulletin seeking people to volunteer for ministries, the only ones seriously open are for hospitiality, like more coffee makers and servers, and more guards for the parking lot. Teaching is reserved for the people on the list the longest, and obviously very rarely if ever to do with spiritual calling from the Lord.

Instead of arriving early to sip coffee and dine on unhealthy donuts, we, well many churches I knew of, used to pray and anoint pews and Sunday School class chairs. I can't remember when that was dropped universally.
 
Word_Swordsman

Word_Swordsman

Senior Member
#28
Sep 16, 2014
1,666
100
48
#28
Lanolin said:
Hmm thats a biggy. There are some churches that tell you to sit at the back if you got children. Or they wont open the doors cos its cold out there. So you literally have to yank the heavy doors open.
Click to expand...
When visitors who are childless sit down to hear mostly screaming babies, it's unlikely they will return, for in their minds that's what that church apparently likes to hear. Well, maybe their services are worse. Probably not.

We've found a near perfect solution. One of our ladies ministries is devoted to young mothers. When a visitor arrives with a baby they are greeted and guided through the two hour stay. It's absolutely amazing that a modern mother might be clueless as to shy their baby cries, while anyone sitting near can small a dirty diaper, or see baby desperately trying to find a drop in a bottle. There's a cry over hunger, and one for boredom, or simply missing it's nap time that time of day. So, each mommy gets invited to where free diapers can be changed, free baby food is available, even free formula milk and new free bottles, and a nursing station.

Toddlers are not allowed to run around in services disturbing people, but have a wonderland of toys, Bible story videos, lite snacks after group lessons. The fastest growing class space demand is for mothers with child. From there bonds are made, allowing some of the ladies to visit homes where they can help fix home problems like providing cooking utensils and cooking lessons. They report issues the men's ministry can go fix. Most every skill and craft is available a day a week, usually Saturdays, at no charge, offered mostly to widows who exhibit the biblical standard in Timothy.

Now, there's sometimes a mommy resisting all that, intent on everyone else suffering through the baby crying. We've learned that's a sign of rebellion of mommy and then of child, and often is linked to a broken home with daddy giving up. We've had lone Daddys left with child, desperate for help. It's easy to find out. Ask. So the preacher will stop his sermon with "Some little one needs Mommy's or Daddy's attention, please answer your child's need." She might not return, but how many others who were seeking something from God won't return?

It's expensive, yes, but any church can do something, as any mother has advice to give.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#29
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#29
Word_Swordsman said:
When visitors who are childless sit down to hear mostly screaming babies, it's unlikely they will return, for in their minds that's what that church apparently likes to hear. Well, maybe their services are worse. Probably not.

We've found a near perfect solution. One of our ladies ministries is devoted to young mothers. When a visitor arrives with a baby they are greeted and guided through the two hour stay. It's absolutely amazing that a modern mother might be clueless as to shy their baby cries, while anyone sitting near can small a dirty diaper, or see baby desperately trying to find a drop in a bottle. There's a cry over hunger, and one for boredom, or simply missing it's nap time that time of day. So, each mommy gets invited to where free diapers can be changed, free baby food is available, even free formula milk and new free bottles, and a nursing station.

Toddlers are not allowed to run around in services disturbing people, but have a wonderland of toys, Bible story videos, lite snacks after group lessons. The fastest growing class space demand is for mothers with child. From there bonds are made, allowing some of the ladies to visit homes where they can help fix home problems like providing cooking utensils and cooking lessons. They report issues the men's ministry can go fix. Most every skill and craft is available a day a week, usually Saturdays, at no charge, offered mostly to widows who exhibit the biblical standard in Timothy.

Now, there's sometimes a mommy resisting all that, intent on everyone else suffering through the baby crying. We've learned that's a sign of rebellion of mommy and then of child, and often is linked to a broken home with daddy giving up. We've had lone Daddys left with child, desperate for help. It's easy to find out. Ask. So the preacher will stop his sermon with "Some little one needs Mommy's or Daddy's attention, please answer your child's need." She might not return, but how many others who were seeking something from God won't return?

It's expensive, yes, but any church can do something, as any mother has advice to give.
Click to expand...
I put up a childrens library at the back for one church, but the pastors wanted to take it over and took out half of what I put there. This church did have creche rooms and playgroups as well. Sometimes visitors that are childless actually want to be around children. Not screaming babies as such but at least see some children. The poor sunday school teachers though, never get to hear the sermon if they're all the time teaching and looking after children at the same time. While there can be good things about separating them, its not always good to exclude children from everything. And good point about dads.

I dont understand why so many dads just abandon their own children. I know so many people who just had to grow up without a dad and its way hard.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#30
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#30
Word_Swordsman said:
Sermons that consist of a an introduction of a couple lines of a scripture, followed by 40 minutes of 3-5 points of social science messages sends us away after attempting to voice an opinion that is ignored. At the rte actual scriptures are covered it might take 300 years for a member to be exposed to the entire Bible. That sometimes is cured for a while by replacing a preacher that should have retired decades ago with one full of the Spirit. But the time comes when he discovers a cache of thousands of sermons desiged for every occasion left behind for his convenience. "Seems we heard that very sermon before?"

Sunday School lessons consisting of the same format. Teacher asks the class to study for next week, then next week reads the whole thing aloud leaving no room for comment, saying "The clock is demanding we finish on time.".

Jealousy among the "founders" who will not tolerate anyone upstaging them with a spiritual gift is a big issue with me. Some examples...."What are your qualifications, Sir? Do you have a doctorate of theology? Oh, a layyyyyman. Well, we already have well prepared men of God ministering here, as you surely know."

Hospitality is nice when it's appropriate, but when that is followed by inhospitable responses when answering a questionaire in the bulletin seeking people to volunteer for ministries, the only ones seriously open are for hospitiality, like more coffee makers and servers, and more guards for the parking lot. Teaching is reserved for the people on the list the longest, and obviously very rarely if ever to do with spiritual calling from the Lord.

Instead of arriving early to sip coffee and dine on unhealthy donuts, we, well many churches I knew of, used to pray and anoint pews and Sunday School class chairs. I can't remember when that was dropped universally.
Click to expand...
I dont understand the unhealthy donuts what they doing in church like do the people that make them want everyone to die of diabetes and heart disease. Although must churches have their morning teas AFTER the service not before.

Its good to be in a church thats a praying church. Some churches still do that so all is not lost.

I guess maybe am feeling a bit disatisfied with the one im going to at the moment aside from the crunchy chip person...the last few weeks the pastor has gotten his brother and other family members to preach and im Wondering if hes just run out of sermons.

As for church boards im just not going to go there. So Im just going to wait on the Lord to show me if He still wants me there. I remmeber one church member who no longer atteneds actually scammed me, and the pastor didnt do anything why because she was in sunday school teaching but seemed like i had nothing but trouble from her. So i went away, but then came back as another member wanted me to do some ministry, but now shes left. So yea.

Its hard because you start something good and you could be on fire for the Lord and then people or bureaucracy just end up putting obstacles in your way all the time. But then its not to say the same sorts of things happen in all churches as no church is perfect. But surely there must be ones that could at least be where you want to stay and grow rather than stagnate in. Cos sometimes I feel like if you stay in certain types of churches its like quicksand and you cant get out.
 
dcontroversal

dcontroversal

Banned
#32
Dec 12, 2013
46,515
20,402
113
#32
False doctrine coming from the pulpit and nothing being done about it would be the only reason I would leave.....everything else is a matter of teaching...........For example.......one church I was going to regularly and really enjoyed I left when the pastor and a few of the teachers started peddling that the Holy Spirit does not indwell the believer..............and the funny thing....I am not Charismatic, disagree with most Pentecostal doctrine and they began to call me PENTECOSTAL because I made a stand for the Holy Spirit indwelling the believer........imagine that.......!!

I got a book on NEW LIGHTISM and started making quotes out of it..they were like yeah....yeah....yeah.....and I said....I am reading from a book on New Lightism and what they peddle and practice....you could have heard a pin drop........and that church was doing so well until they started peddling that crap......like a lead ball in a pond.......sunk like a rock!
 
Odelschwanck

Odelschwanck

Senior Member
#33
Jan 7, 2015
380
102
43
#33
The problem is getting me to get myself to a church every week. I used to be heavily involved. But then there was a pastor change (though I did like that pastor) followed by a big chunk of the people I knew leaving followed by another pastor change combined with me moving to the countryside for a bit. Then when I came back I guess I'd been away too much to really come back. And now I don't want to go to that church anyway because the pastor seems to be that kind of Methodist - better off not going to church at all. Though I do have another church that I go to, it's just nothing like the churches I went to when I was younger so that part, whatever it is, is still missing.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#34
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#34
dcontroversal said:
False doctrine coming from the pulpit and nothing being done about it would be the only reason I would leave.....everything else is a matter of teaching...........For example.......one church I was going to regularly and really enjoyed I left when the pastor and a few of the teachers started peddling that the Holy Spirit does not indwell the believer..............and the funny thing....I am not Charismatic, disagree with most Pentecostal doctrine and they began to call me PENTECOSTAL because I made a stand for the Holy Spirit indwelling the believer........imagine that.......!!

I got a book on NEW LIGHTISM and started making quotes out of it..they were like yeah....yeah....yeah.....and I said....I am reading from a book on New Lightism and what they peddle and practice....you could have heard a pin drop........and that church was doing so well until they started peddling that crap......like a lead ball in a pond.......sunk like a rock!
Click to expand...
New lightism? Thats new to me.

So far the churches Ive been to seem ok on doctrine nothing really way out or wrong. But then sometimes I think its a little too lukewarm.

We got a heat pump this year and even the announcers at the beginning say to visitors say sit back, relax and make yourself at home. But...I think the problem with that is if you get too comfortable, you miss out on all the action. People get lazy. And nothing gets done if people are filling themselves up on crunchy chips and donuts....
 
J

jaybird88

Guest
#35
#35
What would cause you to leave church to go to a different one?
Click to expand...
when they start preaching wealth, money and prosperity.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#36
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#36
jaybird88 said:
when they start preaching wealth, money and prosperity.
Click to expand...
Yea got to watch for that. I think some preachers sneak that in somehow. They will be preaching come to Jesus and then they will say lets pray for financial breakthrough.
Well, as far as I know Jesus never prayed for financial breakthrough (? What does that even mean) for any of his disicples. He even told them to take no money when they went out ministering. He couldnt have done the loaves and fishes miracles if they had money, or turned water into wine if he could have just bought the wine!
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#37
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#37
A lot of people seem to think if you throw money at something, it makes it all better, problem solved. Well our God is a bigger God than that and doesnt simply mulitply money, any fool can do that or go to a casino and play lotto.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#38
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#38
Odelschwanck said:
The problem is getting me to get myself to a church every week. I used to be heavily involved. But then there was a pastor change (though I did like that pastor) followed by a big chunk of the people I knew leaving followed by another pastor change combined with me moving to the countryside for a bit. Then when I came back I guess I'd been away too much to really come back. And now I don't want to go to that church anyway because the pastor seems to be that kind of Methodist - better off not going to church at all. Though I do have another church that I go to, it's just nothing like the churches I went to when I was younger so that part, whatever it is, is still missing.
Click to expand...
Can you explain what 'that kind of methodist' is Im not sure what you mean. I havent been to any methodist church so have no idea...
 
Nehemiah6

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
#40
Jul 18, 2017
26,074
13,777
113
#40
Lanolin said:
Last sunday, there was someone sitting at the back of me eating loud crunchy chips during the service. It was really annoying. If they do that again next time, im not sure what to do.
Click to expand...
If you know this person, go and talk to him/her privately (as soon as possible) and tell him/her that that is unacceptable. And ask the church leadership to announce that foods and drinks are not permissible during services, and all iPhones are to left outside. If people will act like Kindergarteners, they have to be told the rudiments of good and bad behavior during a pubic meeting.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.