How do I forget and move on? -.-

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Joshua175

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This is ridiculous but I just can't sleep tonight and it's killing me. I've been having too many nights where I can't sleep and it's all because of one girl who I don't even know anymore. We did the "Just Friends" thing and it was for real. But it seemed like a deep meaningful relationship to me at least. I would always tell her that I loved her and she would tell me that she loved me also but to her, it meant "I like you, you're a cool person" To me it meant "I want to know you more, to spend more time with you and even if we never have a boyfriend girlfriend relationship, I'll be content with the fact that you'll be with me." Anyway, one night I told her I loved her like I always did but this time I clarified and I tried to make it as clear as possible. I told her that if we were the only people on earth, I would be happy. Guess what? She didn't get it. One day she told me that she has a boyfriend, but she was single when I met her, so I really have no idea how long she had been hiding that. Anyway, that really killed me inside but eventually once I started getting more involved in my music ministry I started forgetting about her and started becoming happy and you see, I still am happy but when I lay in my bed at night the memories come to me and it makes me think. How could have things been if she would've wanted to be with me? How would it have been if she was still my friend even though she has a boyfriend? It's stupid to think of those things but I guess I'm just still not content with having these memories and not being able to do anything about them.

By the way, if you took the time to read this then I'm very impressed. lol Sorry if this was a waste of anyone's time.
 
I don't think it was a waste of time to read Joshua175. You took the time to write for help and I want to help. I can say that I have had these feelings before from a lady and it is not good to be on this side. She told me she had a BF after we talked for almost 6 months. I found out 3 days after that that she was lying to me because she didn't have the same feelings for me and didn't know how to express it. I am not saying this is happening to you but GOD has HIS reasons for moving his person from you life. If you spend time second guessing GOD, you are saying you don't trust HIS judgement. I am starting to learn this myself so I am by no means an expert but she meant something more to you than you thought, which is why she is on your mind at night. I say read the bible to get your mind on something else than try and get some relaxing sleep. I hope I helped you, GOD bless.
 
Thanks Man. That's awesome advice. I do love Jesus more than anyone. It's hard to fight my heart but my heart is desperately wicked and deceitful. I need to stop looking at myself and start looking to God. Reading the bible every night is actually an awesome idea. I read every morning but nights aren't a bad idea either. God Bless you and you really did help.
 
Firstly God will never put more on you thsn you can handle. Secondly look at the positives, u have learnt to love and to love deeply. :). I know its hard when someone you like doesn't feel the same but hey maybe one day. Don't let it get you down. U just keep on with ur music and pray helps with night time memories
 
Its ok I just know what its like to love someone who doesn't love you back. And even though u can see the perfection of it they can't. I try to remind my self that when God takes something away he replaces it wiyth something better
 
This truly blessed me. Right now I am learning how to handle rejection. I feel like I put my whole trust in this guy. He basically told me of his plans to be with me in the future. I gave him my first kiss. Now, he only wants to be friends. I have had so many questions roaming in my mind. I asked myself if I wasn't pretty enough? Or if I messed up in some way. I keep thinking about him constantly. Thanks for posting this. I am gradually learning to place my faith on God, and to trust His ways and His timing. I am even suffering from anxiety attacks. I will keep you in my prayers and I just want you to know that there are others out there who understand where you are coming from. But most of all, God understands. As I go through this situation, it makes me think of how much it hurts God when people reject Him. I am so glad that I can count on His unconditional love and that I live in a country where I can freely serve him. May God bless and heal you. =)
 
Its hard to love someone and give them your whole heart and hopes and dreams and for them to toss it back at you or don't even open the present. It doesn't mean we should stop loving them. It means we shouldn't place our hopes and dreams in their hands because people are careless and don't realize what they are doing sometimes because of being self absorbed. I think we should always give our hopes and dreams to God and place our lives and our relationships into His hands.

Can you imagine how God feels when His children turn away from Him, spit in His face and tell Him He doesn't exist, they hate him? Can you imagine how it felt to be Jesus on the cross?

Remember Jesus' response? He forgave them and love them still. He asked them to repent and trust in Him and offered them a place in Heaven. That is ultimate unconditional love that God has given us. Can we give any less to others? Do not harden your heart to the world. Learn to love it as God loves YOU.

Its easier said then done, I'm still working on it myself, but I've found that Love means wishing the best for the other person even if it means a relationship with someone who isn't you. Its all in God's hands all we can do is have faith and trust in the Lord.
 
Rather than telling her how much you love her, you should have told her what you love about her first. Then she would have been more comfortable with how much you love her. Whats sounds better. I love you so much, or, I love your smile and the way you laugh. The first one makes you sound needy, the second is a compliment. I remember when I was your age, my feelings ruled my mouth, but you should take the time to think about what is creating those feels.
 
Hi josh,

So im a little confused. You told her you loved her, but it was in a i want to know you better and spend more time with you kinda way?? Shouldnt you have known her pretty well to even say i love you in the first place??? I think the i love you's were a bit premature, especially if you two were just friends. Thats always a twisted road to go down. Also how old was this chick to not understand what you were saying?? Unless you were using some advanced form of english she should have gotten it.

if i was you, i wouldn't wanna be messin with a girl like her anyways. She is tellin you that she loves you, and apparently you two are such good friends your comfortable enough to say i love you, but she didnt tell you she had a boyfriend??? yeah.......... no.
 
NodMyHeadLikeYeah said:
Hi josh,

So im a little confused. You told her you loved her, but it was in a i want to know you better and spend more time with you kinda way?? Shouldnt you have known her pretty well to even say i love you in the first place??? I think the i love you's were a bit premature, especially if you two were just friends. Thats always a twisted road to go down. Also how old was this chick to not understand what you were saying?? Unless you were using some advanced form of english she should have gotten it.

if i was you, i wouldn't wanna be messin with a girl like her anyways. She is tellin you that she loves you, and apparently you two are such good friends your comfortable enough to say i love you, but she didnt tell you she had a boyfriend??? yeah.......... no.
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I tell my brothers, my mom and my best girl friends I love them. maybe she thought he meant as a friend or brotherly type love?
 
AnandaHya said:
I tell my brothers, my mom and my best girl friends I love them. maybe she thought he meant as a friend or brotherly type love?
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Exactly, she thought it to be a friendly love but come on, seriously?
 
NodMyHeadLikeYeah said:
Hi josh,

So im a little confused. You told her you loved her, but it was in a i want to know you better and spend more time with you kinda way?? Shouldnt you have known her pretty well to even say i love you in the first place??? I think the i love you's were a bit premature, especially if you two were just friends. Thats always a twisted road to go down. Also how old was this chick to not understand what you were saying?? Unless you were using some advanced form of english she should have gotten it.

if i was you, i wouldn't wanna be messin with a girl like her anyways. She is tellin you that she loves you, and apparently you two are such good friends your comfortable enough to say i love you, but she didnt tell you she had a boyfriend??? yeah.......... no.
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I knew her well but, I meant on a More personal level. The only deep conversations we had were over the phone. We never had the chance to really be alone together, we were always in public and her parents never let us be alone together. The ''I love yous" came about a year after we had known each other.And yes I agree with you, messed up and not someone I should want to be with but it's not like I don't still love her..that doesn't just go away out of no where.
 
Lalilo said:
Rather than telling her how much you love her, you should have told her what you love about her first. Then she would have been more comfortable with how much you love her. Whats sounds better. I love you so much, or, I love your smile and the way you laugh. The first one makes you sound needy, the second is a compliment. I remember when I was your age, my feelings ruled my mouth, but you should take the time to think about what is creating those feels.
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Believe me, I did that. This girl wasn't worth it and neither is she but the point of this was that the feelings are a hard thing to get over. I still have those feelings for her. And if a girl doesn't want to be with me because I tell her that I love her and she feels that's needy than I don't want to be with her, plain and simple. I should be able to be myself.
 
AnandaHya said:
Its hard to love someone and give them your whole heart and hopes and dreams and for them to toss it back at you or don't even open the present. It doesn't mean we should stop loving them. It means we shouldn't place our hopes and dreams in their hands because people are careless and don't realize what they are doing sometimes because of being self absorbed. I think we should always give our hopes and dreams to God and place our lives and our relationships into His hands.

Can you imagine how God feels when His children turn away from Him, spit in His face and tell Him He doesn't exist, they hate him? Can you imagine how it felt to be Jesus on the cross?

Remember Jesus' response? He forgave them and love them still. He asked them to repent and trust in Him and offered them a place in Heaven. That is ultimate unconditional love that God has given us. Can we give any less to others? Do not harden your heart to the world. Learn to love it as God loves YOU.

Its easier said then done, I'm still working on it myself, but I've found that Love means wishing the best for the other person even if it means a relationship with someone who isn't you. Its all in God's hands all we can do is have faith and trust in the Lord.
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She knew I loved Jesus above all. And yeah believe me, I've thought of all of that stuff.
 
It's not a waste of time at all...Maybe God has His reasons why this things happened to you.,Even how you tried your best to be the best for her, if she doesn't feel the same way, then it's useless. Keeping yourself with the music ministry is good, you served and at the same time, you'll forget her even for a while. Time heals...
 
Last week, my boyfriend of a year and half broke up with me. He said he was never really into me and wasn't in the headspace for anything serious with me. This is after he cheated halfway through the relationship and I took him back. Struggling with issues of trust and insecurity that I had within myself because of what had happened. Rejection is a bitter and hard pill to swallow. I have been leaning on God's word so much over the past week. More than this past year and a half. I have learnt that nobody who walks away from you is tied to your destiny. Take comfort in that. And sad as it is, you have to let go. Isaiah 49:19. I totally get how u feel though. Its still tremedously difficult and its a decision you make every day to let go and let God renew you. Psalm 51:10.. Better things are yet to come. Thats what I'm holding onto.
 
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U now how is your heart working.. nobody can hide of god.. stay in the faith. and pray!
 
Pray, pray, pray to the Lord. Thats what im doing. Its VERY hard.. but its all you can do.. Just try and move on if she doesn't want to go further. Someone already said this but its early and im tired :P. Ask god for strength and lean on him as much as possible, he WILL help you.
 
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