T
Psalm 12
Help Lord! The godly are no more,
the faithful have vanished from among men.
Psalm14
All have turned aside.
they have together become corrupt
there is no one good,
no,--not one.
In my quest to find good friends, I have always came up jaded. I have plenty of people close to me that are not Christ-oriented, but I find that most of the people I get close to our worldly and I wonder why--because I usually/always end up getting hurt by them in some way or other.
When God saved me five years ago from chaos, I was changed forever in a way I cannot possibly explain--because its still happening...(meaning I still feel the process of God changing me.) I have not been able to find anybody besides Jesus that is there for me like a sister or brother. I confess that most of my trek has been alone--not that there has not been people around me or friends in different ways, but I have not found ANYBODY that understands the way the little prince was frustrated with the pilot in Antonie de Saint Exupery's The Little Prince.
To tell you the truth, I have been hurt so many times by people who I think get it (understand that to love God and do whatever he tells us, dwelling in love is the purpose of life, and so much more that is hard to explain in words) and later find out that they are just hypocrites, fakes, they don't truly care, or they are lost in debauchery...
And I do not know what to do with my feelings on this people. Are we suppose to care for them as Jesus did? Are we just to 'let them go'? Are we to pray for them continually? Can that prayer become an idol? God willing, I would do anything for their salvation, but I just end up feeling hurt, confused, and even bamboozled by them.
And sometimes it feels like I cannot find good people. I don't know if I'll ever find anyone enough like me that they can even be a 'good friend' to me. I gave up everything to seek and follow Christ, and now it feels almost tragic how easily I spiritually see through people's religious/spiritual charades. It's like why don't you do what the Bible says if you believe it...and I know why you don't love me as a brother, because there is no love of God in your heart.
And it feels like I am almost drowning in a pool of people that are not Christ-oriented and I feel like screaming. But I do not know who to scream to.
There are times when I would go to churches and talk to pastors about this problem. But them too, I could see through...and I could see either a desire to get rid of me or an enigma at my predicament.
I suppose I could even be writing this for some of my friends who aren't good. Even if you think nobody cares, God cares and so do I as your Christian brother and its worth fighting for. It's worth fighting to save your soul even when everybody stands against you but God.
Perhaps I am writing it for my own soul. Keep perservering soul. Very well, there is no one that seems to truly care for you in this life, God does and he will eventually have mercy on you and not keep breaking your heart with BAD friends. Maybe he will even change the bad ones into good friends. Who knows?
Am I wrong to let myself get close to sinners when I feel not only let by God to do so, when either I see through quote good people who are false or I do not see anybody else that desires to be my friend?!?
Following God to attempt a rescue mission to save sinners has both broken heart every time and also has given me life, love, and life--deeper and richer than I could have imagined.
So I put it up to you. What's wrong with me? Are there no good people?
God bless and may you stay in the light
tony
Help Lord! The godly are no more,
the faithful have vanished from among men.
Psalm14
All have turned aside.
they have together become corrupt
there is no one good,
no,--not one.
In my quest to find good friends, I have always came up jaded. I have plenty of people close to me that are not Christ-oriented, but I find that most of the people I get close to our worldly and I wonder why--because I usually/always end up getting hurt by them in some way or other.
When God saved me five years ago from chaos, I was changed forever in a way I cannot possibly explain--because its still happening...(meaning I still feel the process of God changing me.) I have not been able to find anybody besides Jesus that is there for me like a sister or brother. I confess that most of my trek has been alone--not that there has not been people around me or friends in different ways, but I have not found ANYBODY that understands the way the little prince was frustrated with the pilot in Antonie de Saint Exupery's The Little Prince.
To tell you the truth, I have been hurt so many times by people who I think get it (understand that to love God and do whatever he tells us, dwelling in love is the purpose of life, and so much more that is hard to explain in words) and later find out that they are just hypocrites, fakes, they don't truly care, or they are lost in debauchery...
And I do not know what to do with my feelings on this people. Are we suppose to care for them as Jesus did? Are we just to 'let them go'? Are we to pray for them continually? Can that prayer become an idol? God willing, I would do anything for their salvation, but I just end up feeling hurt, confused, and even bamboozled by them.
And sometimes it feels like I cannot find good people. I don't know if I'll ever find anyone enough like me that they can even be a 'good friend' to me. I gave up everything to seek and follow Christ, and now it feels almost tragic how easily I spiritually see through people's religious/spiritual charades. It's like why don't you do what the Bible says if you believe it...and I know why you don't love me as a brother, because there is no love of God in your heart.
And it feels like I am almost drowning in a pool of people that are not Christ-oriented and I feel like screaming. But I do not know who to scream to.
There are times when I would go to churches and talk to pastors about this problem. But them too, I could see through...and I could see either a desire to get rid of me or an enigma at my predicament.
I suppose I could even be writing this for some of my friends who aren't good. Even if you think nobody cares, God cares and so do I as your Christian brother and its worth fighting for. It's worth fighting to save your soul even when everybody stands against you but God.
Perhaps I am writing it for my own soul. Keep perservering soul. Very well, there is no one that seems to truly care for you in this life, God does and he will eventually have mercy on you and not keep breaking your heart with BAD friends. Maybe he will even change the bad ones into good friends. Who knows?
Am I wrong to let myself get close to sinners when I feel not only let by God to do so, when either I see through quote good people who are false or I do not see anybody else that desires to be my friend?!?
Following God to attempt a rescue mission to save sinners has both broken heart every time and also has given me life, love, and life--deeper and richer than I could have imagined.
So I put it up to you. What's wrong with me? Are there no good people?
God bless and may you stay in the light
tony
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