Tempted Overcomer (a poem about addiction)

[Manna2]

Tempted Overcomer



What is in my mind?

Is it sweet music or is it the tune of death?

It keeps moving forward, forward, forward.

I cannot stop it of my own volition.

The will of the flesh is too strong.



What can I do?

There is no self-help for me, for I am weak.

The cello suite of Bach plays up and down

I go back and forth, back and forth

And time runs on.

The sad pull pulls on.



Who can help?

Wait. There He is.

His spirit, his power, awakens within.

There is light to pierce the night

A sword to slash through my thoughts

Where play many demons

Their laughter at my struggle abates.

Now they fight to stay as flesh wars with spirit.

It’s gone! I’m free!



Wait. The tug.

I feel it once more.

Let it be gone! Let it be over!

Who can deliver me from this body of death?

But there He is again, undeterred by failure.

He pulls me back.



When will it be over?

Each time I fail Jesus pulls me back.

Mercy and grace are abundant

Though I deserve neither.

Each time I fail I become more desperate.

More aware of the composition within.

I apologize, repent, rebuke

Seemingly to no avail.



And yet I am learning about myself.

I am not the saint I supposed myself to be.

No better than a prostitute or thief.

Humility hurts, but strengthens.

Through our weakness He is strong.



More time passes.

As it does, I learn more.

I take my stance then grapple with the enemy.

Sometimes I conquer, sometimes not.

But I learn.

My defense gets stronger

My offense quicker, more accurate.

The fight is intense, but I am winning.



Always will there be failures

Hurts I do to myself

But always there will be my help and defender

My Lord and shepherd.

I will hear his voice even above the music.

 

[DesertWanderer]

If this is a poem about what you are currently going through, I am deeply sorry. No child of God should have to go through any of it, but here we are. This fallen world will beat us to a pulp until we meet our Father face to face. Sometimes we can feel that day can't come soon enough. But take heart. You are here for a reason. It is your calling as a disciple of Christ to go into the world and help others with the very same problems you are going through. That is how he is going to bless you. A giant vault of gold is waiting for you in heaven. But you have to finish your work here first.

I can relate to your poem when you imply that the attacks of the enemy just keep coming over and over again. I went through a bad time recently, where two people whom I loved very much intentionally hurt me. I would have violent, angry thoughts. Then I would repent. Twenty seconds later, I would be thinking of violent thoughts again. Then I would have to confess again, over and over. This has been going on for the last two years! Thankfully, time does help heal old wounds.

It is impossible for anyone to really know what you are going through. However, your wonderful poem at least gives us some idea. God bless you, sister. Grace and peace be with you.

God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. 2 Cor. 5:21

 

[IlovelivingforJesus]

I'm sure many of us can relate to this. life gets so hard sometimes, but thanks to God we will always make it through the hard times as long as we continue to walk with him. Life is meant to be lived God's way walking with and trusting him in every circumstance. With God all things are possible and with him we prosper!

 

[PennEd]

Tempted Overcomer



What is in my mind?

Is it sweet music or is it the tune of death?

It keeps moving forward, forward, forward.

I cannot stop it of my own volition.

The will of the flesh is too strong.



What can I do?

There is no self-help for me, for I am weak.

The cello suite of Bach plays up and down

I go back and forth, back and forth

And time runs on.

The sad pull pulls on.



Who can help?

Wait. There He is.

His spirit, his power, awakens within.

There is light to pierce the night

A sword to slash through my thoughts

Where play many demons

Their laughter at my struggle abates.

Now they fight to stay as flesh wars with spirit.

It’s gone! I’m free!



Wait. The tug.

I feel it once more.

Let it be gone! Let it be over!

Who can deliver me from this body of death?

But there He is again, undeterred by failure.

He pulls me back.



When will it be over?

Each time I fail Jesus pulls me back.

Mercy and grace are abundant

Though I deserve neither.

Each time I fail I become more desperate.

More aware of the composition within.

I apologize, repent, rebuke

Seemingly to no avail.



And yet I am learning about myself.

I am not the saint I supposed myself to be.

No better than a prostitute or thief.

Humility hurts, but strengthens.

Through our weakness He is strong.



More time passes.

As it does, I learn more.

I take my stance then grapple with the enemy.

Sometimes I conquer, sometimes not.

But I learn.

My defense gets stronger

My offense quicker, more accurate.

The fight is intense, but I am winning.



Always will there be failures

Hurts I do to myself

But always there will be my help and defender

My Lord and shepherd.

I will hear his voice even above the music.

Very, very good. If struggle can be said to be good. Lord, thank You for always being there to pick us up.

 

[calibob]

Tempted Overcomer



What is in my mind?

Is it sweet music or is it the tune of death?

It keeps moving forward, forward, forward.

I cannot stop it of my own volition.

The will of the flesh is too strong.



What can I do?

There is no self-help for me, for I am weak.

The cello suite of Bach plays up and down

I go back and forth, back and forth

And time runs on.

The sad pull pulls on.



Who can help?

Wait. There He is.

His spirit, his power, awakens within.

There is light to pierce the night

A sword to slash through my thoughts

Where play many demons

Their laughter at my struggle abates.

Now they fight to stay as flesh wars with spirit.

It’s gone! I’m free!



Wait. The tug.

I feel it once more.

Let it be gone! Let it be over!

Who can deliver me from this body of death?

But there He is again, undeterred by failure.

He pulls me back.



When will it be over?

Each time I fail Jesus pulls me back.

Mercy and grace are abundant

Though I deserve neither.

Each time I fail I become more desperate.

More aware of the composition within.

I apologize, repent, rebuke

Seemingly to no avail.



And yet I am learning about myself.

I am not the saint I supposed myself to be.

No better than a prostitute or thief.

Humility hurts, but strengthens.

Through our weakness He is strong.



More time passes.

As it does, I learn more.

I take my stance then grapple with the enemy.

Sometimes I conquer, sometimes not.

But I learn.

My defense gets stronger

My offense quicker, more accurate.

The fight is intense, but I am winning.



Always will there be failures

Hurts I do to myself

But always there will be my help and defender

My Lord and shepherd.

I will hear his voice even above the music.

Steps 1-3 and 10-12 are part of what Peter was talking about in;
1 Peter 1:3-9 3Praise be to the God and Father of our LORD Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, 5who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 6In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith-of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire-may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
New International Version, Zondervan Recovery Bible. See tomorrows devotional in the CRA thread, tomorrow. New Years Eve. @Magenta is doing the art panel work for it today.

 

[Manna2]

I
I can relate to your poem when you imply that the attacks of the enemy just keep coming over and over again. I went through a bad time recently, where two people whom I loved very much intentionally hurt me. I would have violent, angry thoughts. Then I would repent. Twenty seconds later, I would be thinking of violent thoughts again. Then I would have to confess again, over and over. This has been going on for the last two years! Thankfully, time does help heal old wounds.

That sounds similar to another thing I went through recently as well. God has helped me with the bitterness that seemed to keep growing, in spite of my efforts to stop it. Thankfully circumstances have improved and I am more at peace.

 

[Theophilos]

Thank you for sharing this lovely poem. I struggle with similar problems. What helps me every time after having been hurt by someone is realizing that we must not have any expectations. Expectations tell us more about ourselves than those we expect something from. As long as we expect something from someone we haven’t fully let go of our ego, our need to be recognized, acknowledged, heard. And yes, I believe the same goes even for the expectation that others ought to be good to us. They should, but we must never expect that as a given.

I noticed the same goes with our relationship with God. As long as we expect something from God as a reward for good behavior, we are still thinking about God in transactional, bargain type, terms. We still compartmentalize and think about what we do, and what God does. It is not until we reach the rock bottom and fully realize that all of our good deeds come from God alone and are not the result of our own effort that the true healing can begin. Only sin is ours, all virtues come from God. Until that realization is made I believe we are stuck in the never ending cycles of ups and down. We think we’ve done well, worked hard, then we fail and we get disappointed and loose faith thinking we haven’t been good enough. Awaken faith makes us want to do good because it is God’s will, not because we hope for a positive outcome. Positive outcome is the result, not an expectation.

I’m sorry about this long rent, but I felt compelled to respond. It’s not even fully relevant to your beautiful poem. Please forgive me if you already know all this and I’m stating the obvious. Perhaps you completely disagree. I am a sinner, just like the rest of us, and a former hardened atheist, but by God’s grace I’m trying to purify and cleanse myself. All good come from God.

God bless you sister.