High standards

AnandaHya · Mar 30, 2011

OK I'm married but I thought I'd share with you something I wrote when I was not. lol I was going through old papers and this is from 2001 when I was in college and before I meet my current husband. Yeah it was interesting to say the least. lol so here is my list of standards and expectations in my future husband, what are yours?

"He's the image of what I look for in a guy. Guys only interest me when they show some aspect of him. He's not perfect, he gets angry a lot easier than I do. He can make me laugh and loves me. He would never intentionally do anything that would hurt me, is smart and caring enough to find out what it is that would really hurt me or bother me.

* he would win the approval of my friends and family
* prove to me that I can trust him
*prove to me that he truly knows who I am and loves me, not some image or front I put up to fool people. I'm not some innocent angel that needs protection all the time. I can take care of myself (mostly) The sweet and innocent act is to get rid of the jerks who are only interested in girls for sex and physical pleasure. I know its a front and fake. Its a mask to scare away the idiots. However, it also attracts some too.

The guy i'm with has to know its a mask and why I wear it and therefore allow me to continue with it for my own protection and I want a guy who will act a gentleman when I bother putting makeup on, because its part of the game. the secret game between two people that everyone knows about but can't participate in. like a chess match which only has two people.

* he has to have the same values and high standards for himself that I have for myself or when they differ be willing to discuss it with me.

*someone with enough guts to argue with me

* someone who refuses to lie to himself no matter how painful the truth may be

*someone who will tell me the truth even if they think it will hurt me

*someone who trusts me enough to be sensible

Also I have many masks I wear at different times for different people. Masks made of tiny parts of me for how else could I wear it without it touching who I really am some how? I wear what mask i think would best help the people I love at that time and place in their lives because I love them. Only the ones who truly love me will see who I am behind all the masks I wear. The guy I'm with has to convince me that he sees through those masks to ME.

lol I know its alot but that was my list and God sent me someone who meets all of the requirements.

Hope you enjoy what life has to offer you and keep your standards HIGH. You have God's love, be patient and wait for the person God has planned for you to spend the rest of your life with.

YouTube - God's love letter

Liamson · Mar 30, 2011

I don't really have a list for someone else. Only for myself. Insofar as the day that I meet my requirements, I know that I will be ready for whatever God should see fit to have me pursue.

zeroturbulence · Mar 31, 2011

I have to say that is the most awesome future mate list that I've ever seen. Its 100% real. No fillers or artificial flavor whatsoever. Bravo, Anandhya!!

zeroturbulence · Mar 31, 2011

Ok so here's my list:

- female

- pulse

- likes to cook lasagna

its that last one that keeps ruining it for me every time!

Liamson · Mar 31, 2011

YouTube - Katie Melua - Just Like Heaven

Vinifera · Mar 31, 2011

It was 1993 when I was called by a servant of God and given a message from the LORD concerning my husband to be. (I didn't even ask for a sign). "He has a kind heart and smart" was the message.

A few months later, I met a man with that standard. He is the best one I've ever known. What happened next was a long story...

It's 2011 now, I am still single...So is he. Well... Let God's will be done. He is in control.

FireWire · Mar 31, 2011

The only standard that should apply is that of what the bible contains.

Liamson · Mar 31, 2011

FireWire with the Jesus Juke

I'm coming to the realization that In spite of all that I know, all of the rules and regulations about who how and when I am suppose to find someone, its just a castle made of sand.

The honest truth is, I don't know how to fall in love. I find that it is something so incredibly beyond my control that to insinuate that I should somehow be able to trigger this most powerful of forces to suit my aim is foolishness. I cannot, in my heart, point at a woman who meets all of my benchmarks, squeeze a trigger inside of me and expect to chase after her, like a dog at the racetrack.

I Need something so much more. Where there is no spark there will be no fire.

I'm not looking to fill a vacancy in my life. I'm not sorting through women like an employer searches out applicants for a position. What I need is to be Inspired Captivated and Enraptured by someone who's quality to me is immeasurable. A woman who stands as a vision of priceless grace and beauty, throughout all of her days on this world. Someone who's very presence moves me.

I want to FALL in love with her, with no choice in the matter. I want it to be so much more than all the talk about it. For to be in love, is to live as though every breath is cherished and every color made perfect clear and beautiful. I want to share my life and all the adventures that come with being mine, with someone who illuminates the full spectrum of possibilities just waiting to be discovered.

God is Love and from such a thing, such a thing comes. It is my hope that when I am weighed and measured, I am not found wanting.

Vinifera · Mar 31, 2011

A confession. Actually, it was me who closed this heart of mine. It was securely locked. The servant of God I mentioned previously was a guest speaker who had never met me before; vice verca.

I wasn't ready when I met that wonderful man. He has always treated me wonderfully. He is a gentleman. I don't think I am ready either now. I DO need more time to be ready.

Help me to fulfill your will in my life LORD.

AnandaHya · Mar 31, 2011

Liamson, that is such a beautiful portrait of love. My husband and I found each other when we both stopped looking.

I actually called him (randomly 6 months after we meet at a leadership conference in college) not out romantic interest but just so I could talk with an intelligent male because all the guys around me were acting like fools. (sorry guys if you read this but it was getting ridiculous and I had just got back from the club with my cousins and the quality of conversation and men at most dance clubs tend to be lacking a certain intellectual flavor that I'm used to).

SO it was about 3 am when we had coffee because he guessed my name. I tend to lose track of time and don't pay attention to the clock and I was just going to hang up out of embrassment but didn't want to be more rude, since his roommate had woken him up to answer the phone. So normally I don't go have breakfast with people at 3 am unless its a group of friends and we are pilled into a large van at I-hop discussing the nature of the universe and world in general.

wow looking at that in print it sounds really strange, but living through it. not so much. lol

have fun guys and don't worry about finding someone who meets the requirements. just trust God to send you someone and recognize them when they show up in your life

most people meet their mate when they STOP looking and just start LIVING.

Red33 · Mar 31, 2011

AnandaHya said:

Is this the pursuit of a woman that desires to be a 'help meet'. Is this the adorning of a woman according to (1Pt 3:1-7)? The fig leaves have to come off and you have to let God cloth you with His coverings. Everyone has personal preference and aspirations about many things but they are usually superficial and not worthy of any value or pursuit. If you are adulating these standards that you look for in a husband and using them as a benchmark for what you and will not accept, you just might be surprised at what God does to smash those images. Marriage is not bunch of standards that we are looking for, it is a relationship where two people become one flesh.

In order for that to happen you first have to consummate the marriage and second you have to put away the aspirations of all those fig leaves. If a husband has expectations of his wife or vise versa, that is not one flesh. The husband is to be the initiator and the woman is the responder, that is how they become one flesh. The husband loves his wife and she responds to that love. It is not a relationship of what each other likes or dislikes or expects from one another or what is preferable to one another, that is a relationship of fig leaves. If anything we become low so that God will exalt us. As sinners we humble ourselves, not that we might attain to a higher standard but that God would exalt us through grace, that Christ would be formed in us. I know that we are not perfect in this but this it what we strive after by faith in the image that God made the man and the woman as male and female.

Liamson · Mar 31, 2011

By ''YOU'' he must mean ''I'' cause AnandaHya is a happily married woman =)

AnandaHya · Mar 31, 2011

Liamson said:

lol thanks, i didn't know how to respond to Red.

lol Hey Red my husband has seen the list and just laughs.

it'll be ok, we aren't in Eden we kind of need fig leaves. we help each other out and we are honest and live together as to God fearing people. We know what love means because we both have GOd's love in our hearts and we bless Him every day for each other and our two wonderful children who are 3 and 5 years old.

YouTube - JJ Heller - What love really means - Lyrics

Liamson · Mar 31, 2011

What an amazing song.

I'm quickly becoming her fan. =)

Red33 · Mar 31, 2011

AnandaHya said:

I am glad to hear that about you and your family. You will be tested and those things that can be shaken will be shaken. Mark it down. You love your husband, that love will be tested. Every marriage gets tested as to what sort of marriage it is before God. The greatest test for me is this...

Mt 10:34-40
34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
38 And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.
39 He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.
40 He that receiveth you receiveth me, and he that receiveth me receiveth him that sent me.

What shall we say to these things that have come from the lips of Jesus Christ, the one who we love and say that we would follow? Self preservation of the old man, that has preeminence in whatever relationship that it exists, will preserve the flesh and reject the sword.

That is what the fig leaves represent that were sewn together by Adam and his wife Eve in the garden after the fall. The woman was the first to get deceived into self-preservation by the serpent and because of it, it was going to effect the bearing of children and her family as Cain killed his brother Abel.
Have you ever wondered why there is so much trouble between siblings? When they are young you see a conflict and think it to be just a normal and natural thing but when they get older and it continues you see that they have no peace between them and they more or less tolerant of each other because they are suppose to. But when the circumstances are right, the self-preservation of the flesh comes out full force and things happen before your eyes.

NodMyHeadLikeYeah · Mar 31, 2011

Must have dark hair

Jullianna · Mar 31, 2011

Someone who loves the Lord as much as I do and who will grab hold of my heart and not let go.

AnandaHya · Mar 31, 2011

Julianna that is lovely

its one of mine too but I didn't list it at the time i wrote that (cough cough) ten years ago.

Nods you always make me laugh.

Red you sound kind of bitter. let us address this words as the Holy Spirit has spoken to me about these issues.
Have you ever wondered why there is so much trouble between siblings? When they are young you see a conflict and think it to be just a normal and natural thing but when they get older and it continues you see that they have no peace between them and they more or less tolerant of each other because they are suppose to. But when the circumstances are right, the self-preservation of the flesh comes out full force and things happen before your eyes

1. when my brothers and I lived together we fought alot, but I love my family and they taught me to be strong and not show weakness in front of wolves. If they crossed a line and I was actually hurt they would apologize and make amends. the computer I am using to type this was given to me by my little brother who spent 7 hours on a black friday last year and bought it for me. I have countless stories but I must say that though my biological family was not Christian my mother raised us morally and ethically to value each other as individuals and siblings to stick together because THAT is the meaning of FAMILY.

We were abused by our biological dad, he tried to kill my little brothers and we had to come home and barracade the doors after school I was 7 years old before my mother was able to fill for a divorce, get a baby sitter for after school care, etc. Don't talk to me about demons and evils of the flesh, I can tell you more then you would like to know.

I still remember my older brother rescuing my four year old brother from the demon that had possess the man I used to call father. He had asked for a cup of water and the beast decided he deserved to be spanked and started hitting me and my older brother when we tried to stop him. we pushed the bed and furniture against the door until my mother got home and found us another place to be dropped off after school.

so tell me again, you were say?

I want you to know my brothers and I see and hear demons and I've spoken and seen angels who came and rescued us. My mother didn't fill for divorce even though he beat her for years until he laid a hand on my little brothers who for some unknown reason he thought were not his. He had no job and my mother worked, cooked and cleaned the house and took care of us even before the divorce.

Sorry guys here's a song I used to listen too. My mom still tells me every thing is wonderful.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkulyWMNYbg

Wonderful Lyrics - Everclear

"I close my eyes when I get too sad, I think thoughts I know are bad, Close my eyes and count to ten, Hope its over when I open them...."

I've come farther then you know, though the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Praise be to God.

YouTube - East to West by Casting Crowns

I know God has accepted me and washed me clean, can you say the same?

zeroturbulence · Mar 31, 2011

NodMyHeadLikeYeah said:

Here's your dream date!

Its ok, no need to thank me! After all, helping each other out is what friends are for.

NodMyHeadLikeYeah · Mar 31, 2011

zeroturbulence said:

awwww zero! you shouldnt have!! ............. no i mean really YOU SHOULDNT HAVE!!!!

and anada i really am impressed with your standards!

High standards

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