Have you made any close friends on here?

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Jul 20, 2019
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#22
wow, I cant even get a thread going , I give up
 

laughingheart

Senior Member
Sep 21, 2016
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#24
If you end up
Guilty as charged!!!

I am notorious for (not) talking on the phone, simply because a live conversation means I have to think of answers and topics right then and there. I prefer text and writing because it gives me time to organize and develop what I want to say. If a person wants to hear my voice, I prefer voice texts for the same reason. If I do have a phone conversation or live chat, it's not uncommon for me to then write a 6-page letter to the person trying to explain what I actually wished I'd said!

I grew up writing paper letters to pen pals and then meeting them on the phone or in person (with no way of Googling their background information or status - talk about a leap of faith!), so to me, the internet felt like a natural progression for making friendships. As I was growing up, two of my written-letters-only pen pals came to visit, and one was even from Japan. How on earth we managed to coordinate a visit just through paper letters that took 2 weeks to get to each other is a feat I'll always marvel at. But in time, even those friendships faded away.

I've been here on CC since 2009, and I say that just to demonstrate that it can take a long time to make a connection (in contrast to someone who might be here only a few months and wondering why they haven't connected with anyone.) It has taken me literally thousands of hours of messages over several years (so it certainly doesn't come without a lot of work, either.) My general "method" is to observe (aka, mildly stalk, lol) a person through chat or the forums for several months, then, if I feel comfortable, strike up a PM conversation with them and see where it goes.

Over the years I've met somewhere around 15 people from CC in real life, but usually it was after knowing them for a while. It's been mentioned elsewhere in the forum so I'm comfortable with mentioning it here as well -- I was recently able to meet @cinder and @Lynx (on separate trips), whom I've been talking to almost from the time they got here in 2014, along with other CC friends who aren't here anymore, but whom I have known for probably 8 years (I'm giving the time spans just to demonstrate that none of this happens overnight.) I usually have to travel a couple times of year to see family, so in general, I try to tack on a visit/invasion to any CC friends in the approximate area. :)

I have several more on my hit, er, visitation list, hopefully in the years to come.

Please don't be discouraged if making friends takes a while, or if you have a lot of false starts. Many of the friendships I made here faded away due to the hustle and bustle of life, even when we did meet in person. For every friend I have made here, there were at least a dozen (maybe two dozen) others I may have talked with that just weren't meant to be, for a myriad of reasons. Sometimes people tell me, "You sure do seem to know a lot of people here," but it's only because of I've put in so much working trying to convince people I'm harmless enough to talk to. :) I basically gave up watching TV for trying to make friends on this site.

I also went through a long stretch (about 5 years) in which, for some reason, God seemed to keep me from making ANY friends in real life. Try as I might, I couldn't make a friend at work or church (my usual stomping grounds) no matter how hard I tried. I asked one seemingly nice older lady at church if she'd like to grab lunch sometime, and she looked at me as if I'd planted a bomb in her car. Many of my co-workers were rumored to be on drugs, and it's often felt like God has been keeping me away from EVERYONE. During this very isolaated time, my online friendships were what really kept me going (and still do), as pathetic as some might think that is.

God has been bringing about tons of changes in my life, which is probably why He's keeping me from establishing any real-life roots. The best thing about online friends is that their friendships move along WITH you, no matter where God may lead. :)

I will be forever grateful to CC for the friends I've made here who have helped keep my faith - and my life - going. :) And for those who are trying or want to make friends here, keep on trying! Please don't give up if the first few, or even a few hundred, don't work out. :) There are always new and interesting people here to meet. :)

As for future plans, @Pipp has been at the top of my wish list for years, but so far, it just hasn't come together. :( She likes to joke that this is probably because the two of us being together would cause enough ruckus to land us in jail :), so if anyone wants to donate to our Saving-in-Advance, Please-Bail-Us-Out fund, be sure to send inquiries to #FreePippyAndHerSeoul as soon as possible. :cool:
If you end up in B.C. Canada send me a message. We can to cocoa and shenanigans, I mean enlightening discussion. :)
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
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#25
If you end up

If you end up in B.C. Canada send me a message. We can to cocoa and shenanigans, I mean enlightening discussion. :)
Sounds like a solid plan. Cocoa first, then shenanigans when you're all hyper from the cocoa.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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#26
wow, I cant even get a thread going , I give up
gregory what do you mean you cant get a thread going? Just start one think of a topic you really want to talk about, I start many and some respond and others dont but it doesnt matter you just keep posting.
I try to keep things light in general but there have been times I go into the deep and meaningfuls.

And sometimes I going through a diffuclt time I share and ask for help and advice, and other times I give advice and share because I have experienced or been through similar things. It doesnt have to be all about yourself, but you bring yourself here with your unique way of experiencing life and Im sure at least someone will be able to relate.

Its like when you go to a bible study you might just go solely to talk about the Bible but if you do want to make friends outside of that you just make the effort to connect outside of it once you find you have things in common.

doesnt the old proverb 18:24 say a man who has friends must show himself to be friendly and there are friends that stick closer than a brother
 
Jul 20, 2019
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#27
gregory what do you mean you cant get a thread going? Just start one think of a topic you really want to talk about, I start many and some respond and others dont but it doesnt matter you just keep posting.
I try to keep things light in general but there have been times I go into the deep and meaningfuls.

And sometimes I going through a diffuclt time I share and ask for help and advice, and other times I give advice and share because I have experienced or been through similar things. It doesnt have to be all about yourself, but you bring yourself here with your unique way of experiencing life and Im sure at least someone will be able to relate.

Its like when you go to a bible study you might just go solely to talk about the Bible but if you do want to make friends outside of that you just make the effort to connect outside of it once you find you have things in common.

doesnt the old proverb 18:24 say a man who has friends must show himself to be friendly and there are friends that stick closer than a brother
I havent had any close friends since primary school, cut ties with my nariccistic family three years ago, so its just me here really. It doesn't bother me one iota that I have no friends but a relationship would be nice.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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#28
I havent had any close friends since primary school, cut ties with my nariccistic family three years ago, so its just me here really. It doesn't bother me one iota that I have no friends but a relationship would be nice.
ok thats...different
well I dont really consider primary school mates close friends since we all grew up and moved away and I dont ever see them hardly ever and dont really remember them. A friend is whoever makes the time to spend with you. There doesnt have to be a 'relationship' as such but as christians everyone is considered brother or sister, which is the relationships people are aiming to have with each other, cos thats what Jesus had with his mates, who werent actually his blood brothers. Do you have a job where you see people everyday? Make friends there.

If you happy alone well thats ok but few people actually want to be in relationships alone. Church families are huge.
 
Jul 20, 2019
1,228
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#29
ok thats...different
well I dont really consider primary school mates close friends since we all grew up and moved away and I dont ever see them hardly ever and dont really remember them. A friend is whoever makes the time to spend with you. There doesnt have to be a 'relationship' as such but as christians everyone is considered brother or sister, which is the relationships people are aiming to have with each other, cos thats what Jesus had with his mates, who werent actually his blood brothers. Do you have a job where you see people everyday? Make friends there.

If you happy alone well thats ok but few people actually want to be in relationships alone. Church families are huge.
I have tried organised religion, and all fall short, so disappointing, So I made the decision to seek the truth and God myself. I havent worked in many years as I have a heart condition and unemployment is real bad here, if your over 45 they wont hire you. I am quite happy to be alone and rarely even get text messages. But it doesn't bother me.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#30
I have tried organised religion, and all fall short, so disappointing, So I made the decision to seek the truth and God myself. I havent worked in many years as I have a heart condition and unemployment is real bad here, if your over 45 they wont hire you. I am quite happy to be alone and rarely even get text messages. But it doesn't bother me.
well Jesus is the closest friend I have and I always find going on Christian forums his spirit all round so I dont feel alone here, and people do respond to me and interact.

I think the more organised religion is, the harder it is for outsiders to understand cos they make up rules that they think everyone should know when we actually dont cos nobody tells us. But having a relationship with Jesus doesnt mean you always have to join an established church, often He will just bring people around you who are starting their journey at the same time as you and ease you onto the path, dont feel you have to keep up with everyone else.

A lot of churches will visit shut-ins or homebound people or at least call them but you need to ask for help cos if they dont know, they wont know what you need. at times I ve asked elders to come round and pray for me or my family since it can be difficult to get to church at times.
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
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#32
Yes, I have, and I appreciate and pray for them and share with them.
bless you all.