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T
So I am going to jump on here and not defend Maddog, but say I can understand where he is coming from. We have to be realistic and acknowledge that people from different regions and socioeconomic status have different cultures, Yes I am talking about in the US.
That doesnt mean we do not talk or associate with people outside of our culture, but it may mean that you would prefer some one who understands your culture.
Now at the same time what he said does sound quite biggoted because he is assuming that sense they are from another culture they wouldnt understand each other or have different values etc... We know that it is wrong to make grand generalizations about people.
As a Black Woman in the US I know about prejudice. I would hate for some one to dismiss me or judge me just because they think "well most black people are like this so she is as well." But at the same time I do not want to be anyones test subject. What I mean by that is I dont want to get involved with anyone from a different culture if he has hidden motives just to see if the stereotypes are true.
Also you like what you like. I am from the Midwest and I do not like Northeast accents, New York, New Jersey, Boston. Spare me.
That doesnt mean we do not talk or associate with people outside of our culture, but it may mean that you would prefer some one who understands your culture.
Now at the same time what he said does sound quite biggoted because he is assuming that sense they are from another culture they wouldnt understand each other or have different values etc... We know that it is wrong to make grand generalizations about people.
As a Black Woman in the US I know about prejudice. I would hate for some one to dismiss me or judge me just because they think "well most black people are like this so she is as well." But at the same time I do not want to be anyones test subject. What I mean by that is I dont want to get involved with anyone from a different culture if he has hidden motives just to see if the stereotypes are true.
Also you like what you like. I am from the Midwest and I do not like Northeast accents, New York, New Jersey, Boston. Spare me.
M
Thanks thimsrebma, though I think this bit is a bit unfair:
After all, I did admit that I was making a generalisation (and I also pointed out that I was being at least partly tongue in cheek)...but then this entire thread forces us to make generalisations about what we find attractive, doesn't it? Anyone in this thread who has said ''I like/don't like X trait" has just made a generalisation. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
After all, I did admit that I was making a generalisation (and I also pointed out that I was being at least partly tongue in cheek)...but then this entire thread forces us to make generalisations about what we find attractive, doesn't it? Anyone in this thread who has said ''I like/don't like X trait" has just made a generalisation. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
M
Expressing a like/dislike for something is making an assumption by implication since there is usually some underlying reason why we prefer certain things. For example, if someone says they like muscular men, the underlying reason for this could be the assumption (whether conscious or not) that muscular men are good providers and protectors. In reality, however, a man who happens to be muscular may turn out to be as thick as two short planks, or otherwise incompetent at providing or protecting...but that doesn't stop anyone expressing their preference for muscular men.
But I can't see how one cannot make generalisations, since we do it practically everytime we speak. Our experience informs our understanding of the world and we make associations. And here's the thing, while we may rationally acknowledge that our generalisations do not necessarily hold true in all cases, the fact is, many generalisations turn out to be pretty accurate. For instance, generally speaking, men are physically stronger than women. Now, we all know that it's possible that some women are stronger than some men, but I doubt if anyone would object to the statement that in general, men are stronger.
Now, here's where I'm confused. You made the same generalisation as I did:
So I'm not actually sure where our disagreement is. Moreover, I'm not sure how we can both say the same thing and it's only I that is 'bigoted'.
Being tongue in cheek means that there is an element of facetiousness. In other words, I wasn't being deadly serious and my original comment was made partly in fun.
But I can't see how one cannot make generalisations, since we do it practically everytime we speak. Our experience informs our understanding of the world and we make associations. And here's the thing, while we may rationally acknowledge that our generalisations do not necessarily hold true in all cases, the fact is, many generalisations turn out to be pretty accurate. For instance, generally speaking, men are physically stronger than women. Now, we all know that it's possible that some women are stronger than some men, but I doubt if anyone would object to the statement that in general, men are stronger.
Now, here's where I'm confused. You made the same generalisation as I did:
So I'm not actually sure where our disagreement is. Moreover, I'm not sure how we can both say the same thing and it's only I that is 'bigoted'.
Also I have no idea what being "tongue and cheek" is.
T
What I am trying to say is that people from X place may be different from Y place as far as culture is concerned. But that doesnt make them more or less of a person. To me it sounded like you were saying people from the south were snobby. When you give a negative attribute to a culture that is biggoted but simply saying they are different is not.
M
Of course not, and I expressed that exact same point earlier:
I'm not sure where you got this from...I don't recall saying such a thing.
I understand what you mean, but I'm not sure how this works in practice. How does one differentiate between simply pointing out a difference and pointing out a negative attribute if the difference is the negative attribute? Moreover, what if the negative attribute is true?
For example, suppose there was a culture in which they only bred among themeslves, resulting in a lot of inbreeding. Now, I would consider inbreeding a 'negative attribute' but it happens to be both true, and a genuine difference from my culture.
I'm not sure where you got this from...I don't recall saying such a thing.
I understand what you mean, but I'm not sure how this works in practice. How does one differentiate between simply pointing out a difference and pointing out a negative attribute if the difference is the negative attribute? Moreover, what if the negative attribute is true?
For example, suppose there was a culture in which they only bred among themeslves, resulting in a lot of inbreeding. Now, I would consider inbreeding a 'negative attribute' but it happens to be both true, and a genuine difference from my culture.
A
I just had a conversation about this today. We decided that yes, while sight does give us a pretty thorough first impression, sound and smell really play as big factors as time goes by. If a guy is extremely attractive but smells nasty, he is no longer attractive. If a guy isn't the best looking but can sing, he jumps up quite a few levels. If a guy is attractive according to all three senses, then he's a winner. Just matters on preference, but I don't think only one can be the deciding factor. I'm not going to go into touch and taste haha
T
I love you. U picked something so extreme that most don't practice. LOL so funny.
Lets take something more practical, for instance in many countries, girls get married at about 15 or 16 years old, where as in the US ages vary greatly for first marraiges.
I dont think we can place our cultural standards on others. As long as their practices are not contrary to God then they shouldnt be seen as negative.
Lets take something more practical, for instance in many countries, girls get married at about 15 or 16 years old, where as in the US ages vary greatly for first marraiges.
I dont think we can place our cultural standards on others. As long as their practices are not contrary to God then they shouldnt be seen as negative.
