Do men prefer women who don't chase...at all?!

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Sep 13, 2018
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I try to be nice and forgive and forget.
I think you may have forgiven her in your own way , A while ago. My question is how are you going to forget if she keeps coming back. Has she ever told you why she still feels the need to be in your life.
 

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
Oct 31, 2019
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I think a man would feel emasculated by this because a man's role is typically to protect and provide... as a woman I like this, it would make me feel safe and secure. Some men may feel undermined and confused by a woman giving the impression she's is taking his role when it is his!!😊💪
 

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
Oct 31, 2019
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Hey Butterfly, This is what I was asking. Do you think that it would be inappropriate ? I have the up most respect for her and her family. I would never, in a million year's interfere with that. I look at it more like a class reunion. still no?
It's playing with fire bro, trust me.
 

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
Oct 31, 2019
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The only reason that I would have anything to do with my ex would have to do with our child. Otherwise
no good reason to get in touch. What I was trying to say was that I am happy for her and her life. Just wish that she could say the same of me. but being the person that she is, she will still see me for me. (Ihope, lol)... And why would you ever feel the need to speak to this person after what she put you through? Is she intentionally trying to get to you?
Why does it matter what she thinks really? It only matters what God thinks. I understand you having these thoughts, totally; but take them captive to Christ, because sin crouches at the door and you must master it👌
 
Mar 4, 2020
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I think a man would feel emasculated by this because a man's role is typically to protect and provide... as a woman I like this, it would make me feel safe and secure. Some men may feel undermined and confused by a woman giving the impression she's is taking his role when it is his!!😊💪
I see your point, but I'm already confident in my ability as a provider and protector. So for me it isn't a matter of being undermined or demasculated in some way. My actions will always speak for themselves. I'm not fragile enough that if a woman put her arm around me at the movies or held the door open for me I would start questioning my manhood. Lol.

It's ok if some guys need to assert their male prowess via door-opening, not receiving flowers, or having an arm put around them. Those things seem surface level and superficial to me. A true test of a man is being able to provide and protect when it really counts, not split hairs over a door or flowers. That's petty and actually shows a weak man in my opinion.
 

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
Oct 31, 2019
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I see your point, but I'm already confident in my ability as a provider and protector. So for me it isn't a matter of being undermined or demasculated in some way. My actions will always speak for themselves. I'm not fragile enough that if a woman put her arm around me at the movies or held the door open for me I would start questioning my manhood. Lol.

It's ok if some guys need to assert their male prowess via door-opening, not receiving flowers, or having an arm put around them. Those things seem surface level and superficial to me. A true test of a man is being able to provide and protect when it really counts, not split hairs over a door or flowers. That's petty and actually shows a weak man in my opinion.
Lol... well it's good if you're confident of being a protector and provider, but I have to say, if I saw my Mum holding the door open for my Dad, my perception of him would be belittled and I also think it sets a wrong example to others in our culture; we don't need anymore confusion about gender roles that's for sure.
 
Mar 4, 2020
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Lol... well it's good if you're confident of being a protector and provider, but I have to say, if I saw my Mum holding the door open for my Dad, my perception of him would be belittled and I also think it sets a wrong example to others in our culture; we don't need anymore confusion about gender roles that's for sure.
Well, I think the difference between you and me is if I saw a woman hold a door open for a man I would think she was being loving. If I saw a woman let a door close behind her into the face of a man I would think she was quite rude.
 

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
Oct 31, 2019
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Well, I think the difference between you and me is if I saw a woman hold a door open for a man I would think she was being loving. If I saw a woman let a door close behind her into the face of a man I would think she was quite rude.
Well I wouldn't do that to him, but it could well be the last date he took me on lol🤣
 

AndyMaleh

Well-known member
Jun 26, 2020
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Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Examples of women chasing men they like are:
- Going to the same supermarket the men go to just in case they bump into them
- Joining the same co-ed sports leagues the men are part of
- Attending the same rock band shows that the men like to go to
- Making friends with the men's friends
- Inviting the men to parties and get-togethers
- Posting messages on their facebook page or replying to their online posts on social media platforms
- Sending emails or messages to see how they're doing

None of those qualify as stalking. Do not confuse the two. It is OK to chase.
Butterflyyy not sure why you laughed at my post. This is how I got many women to be my girlfriend. I'm just sharing now for the next generation of women to learn how to meet a man.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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Butterflyyy not sure why you laughed at my post. This is how I got many women to be my girlfriend. I'm just sharing now for the next generation of women to learn how to meet a man.
thats not chasing. its just being social.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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Chasing is when you get in your car and tailgate him.
 
Sep 13, 2018
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So the answer is no?
If you knew me you would know that I am not that person. Someone created a tread, "first love"
I wrote about my first love. It was about how when I was young I almost got married. I was moving to D.C.
And her parents would'nt allow her to come unless we got married. Long story longer. i did'nt and her mother sent her back to live with her father. A couple years later when I was in NO. VA, She contacted me and told me that she had business in D.C. I was living with someone at the time. I told her that that it would'nt be possible because of this and I NEW that if I was to see her. I would never return.That was the biggest heartbreak of my life. I know, living out of wedlock was wrong. But I have never cheated on a mate in my life. Relationships were sacred to me. Living in the flesh is no bueno. It took me most of my life to understand this. But for the last 15 years of my life I have been true to God. Sometimes I fall short but it is'nt for the lack of trying.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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@1christian1 why wouldnt you marry her if you promised you wouldnt cheat I dont get it. Wasnt she good enough for you? or was it cos you couldnt afford the marriage license?
 
Sep 13, 2018
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@1christian1 why wouldnt you marry her if you promised you wouldnt cheat I dont get it. Wasnt she good enough for you? or was it cos you couldnt afford the marriage license?
No, we were young. I was 18 and she was 17. . I had already paid for the marriage licence and the pastor.
You are talking about the love of my life and not the girl I was living with. Right? Lanolin, I've searched,
my entire life trying to find the love we had . Has never happened...
 
S

Scribe

Guest
No, we were young. I was 18 and she was 17. . I had already paid for the marriage licence and the pastor.
You are talking about the love of my life and not the girl I was living with. Right? Lanolin, I've searched,
my entire life trying to find the love we had . Has never happened...
Generally speaking, and painting with a broad brush in the area of "the one" and thinking we "missed our chance"...

Do you think it is possible that many "mourn" over the loss of what they never had? Maybe the fantasy of a feeling of love is what people are chasing. It is an illusion. Not that there isn't a real feeling of emotional "in love" as we like to call it, but it is actually just a dopamine effect that can be reproduced by watching a romance movie which should tell us that it is a brain chemistry injection and fickle according to circumstances such as getting overly familiar with the object of your dreamy feelings and having them turn to contempt with familiarity.

I believe love is a choice. If we choose to love someone we eventually feel the feelings, and they grow stronger the longer we live life together while choosing to love. I believe it is impossible to feel the true feelings of true love without having lived life together through ups and downs all the while choosing to love. This kind of love is experiential rather than emotional brain chemistry.
 
Sep 13, 2018
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Generally speaking, and painting with a broad brush in the area of "the one" and thinking we "missed our chance"...

Do you think it is possible that many "mourn" over the loss of what they never had? Maybe the fantasy of a feeling of love is what people are chasing. It is an illusion. Not that there isn't a real feeling of emotional "in love" as we like to call it, but it is actually just a dopamine effect that can be reproduced by watching a romance movie which should tell us that it is a brain chemistry injection and fickle according to circumstances such as getting overly familiar with the object of your dreamy feelings and having them turn to contempt with familiarity.

I believe love is a choice. If we choose to love someone we eventually feel the feelings, and they grow stronger the longer we live life together while choosing to love. I believe it is impossible to feel the true feelings of true love without having lived life together through ups and downs all the while choosing to love. This kind of love is experiential rather than emotional brain chemistry.
I get what you are saying Scribe. I have been a romantic all my life. And you are probably right. Movies had a great influence on my life. Just as Dirty Harry movies, Elvis and so fourth. I don't want to sound like an ass but dating came easy to me , and I think that I took this for granted. As I had mentioned. I found love early in life. I also understand what you say about have that feeling of love in your heart without actually
being with someone. Because I always longed for it. God always gave me what I wanted. Unfortunately, I lived in the flesh. I related intimacy and love, with sex. That never worked out and I paid for my sins. Now that I am older I look at life through a new lens. And life is good! I can have intimacy with a woman without the physical. I am content in life. Happy...
 

Funkus

Active member
May 20, 2020
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I saw an advert on a bus once - an attractive woman was portrayed saying "I don't chase men who can't run away"
i think that sums it up
run, as fast as you can!
 

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
Oct 31, 2019
1,613
1,318
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If you knew me you would know that I am not that person. Someone created a tread, "first love"
I wrote about my first love. It was about how when I was young I almost got married. I was moving to D.C.
And her parents would'nt allow her to come unless we got married. Long story longer. i did'nt and her mother sent her back to live with her father. A couple years later when I was in NO. VA, She contacted me and told me that she had business in D.C. I was living with someone at the time. I told her that that it would'nt be possible because of this and I NEW that if I was to see her. I would never return.That was the biggest heartbreak of my life. I know, living out of wedlock was wrong. But I have never cheated on a mate in my life. Relationships were sacred to me. Living in the flesh is no bueno. It took me most of my life to understand this. But for the last 15 years of my life I have been true to God. Sometimes I fall short but it is'nt for the lack of trying.
I'm so sorry to hear this brother.
I'm just looking out for you, we have an enemy roaming around. I think if you were at least meeting her with her husband there it would be more acceptable but I would of course pray about it even then because you could be walking into a subtle trap unbeknown to the both of you.
God bless.