You have a good attitude, you clearly love god very much. Remember what Jesus says, and you'll know that all you need to be a real and good Christian, is that same love both for god and for other people. If you live a good life, helping and caring for others, it wouldn't matter even if your love was a sin (I personally don't believe it is,) you'd be welcomed into heaven with open arms!
Keep up that self-esteem, you're great whether or not some people disagree. If you find someone you love and loves you back, don't think about anything else but that love, and be with them, I believe that Jesus would want you to be happy and with a loving, caring partner. You can be whatever you want to be, including a wonderful Christian! If you need any support feel free to talk to me.
The Holy Scripture says us:
Therefore God gave them over in the
sinful desires of their hearts to sexual
impurity for the degrading of their bodies
with one another.
They exchanged the truth of God for a
lie, and worshiped and served created
things rather than the Creator--who is
forever praised. Amen.
Because of this, God gave them over
to shameful lusts. Even their women
exchanged natural relations for
unnatural ones.
In the same way the men also
abandoned natural relations with women
and were inflamed with lust for one
another. Men committed indecent acts
with other men, and received in
themselves the due penalty for their
perversion.
Furthermore, since they did not think it
worthwhile to retain the knowledge of
God, he gave them over to a depraved
mind, to do what ought not to be done.
They have become filled with every
kind of wickedness, evil, greed and
depravity. They are full of envy, murder,
strife, deceit and malice. They are
gossips,
slanderers, God-haters, insolent,
arrogant and boastful; they invent ways
of doing evil; they disobey their parents;
they are senseless, faithless, heartless,
ruthless.
Although they know God's righteous
decree that those who do such things
deserve death, they not only continue to
do these very things but also approve of
those who practice them.
(Romans 1:24-32)
