Dating a non-believer?

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Apr 30, 2011
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#1
I know that as an Atheist, I'd probably have a really hard time dating a Christian (Mainly if he was a fundamentalist or creationist) simply because I value knowledge and the sciences, and I don't think I'd be able to have a real meaningful relationship with someone who was so blind to that.

So what about the flip side? Believers? What do you think?
 
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Timofree

Guest
#2
Just over a year, as a non Christian I would of quite liked a Christian girlfriend, because it was rare to find the right kind of girl in a club.......but now, looking back, I wouldn't of wished myself on a Christian back then. I used to get drunk quite a bit, and would of felt guilty around someone not drinking heavily.....

Now I hope never to date a non Christian, it wouldn't be fair on me, or them. It would be unthinkable to expect them to agree with my views, and take any abuse, live/die for Jesus if they didn't believe. And unfair to expect them to give up sex, getting drunk, drugs or whatever......I definitely wouldn't of been able to, or wanted to, if I hadn't been saved.
In the US I suspect there are more Christians by name, who hold to biblical values without actually being Christian, rare in England........
 
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NukePooch

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#3
Personally, I couldn't marry an unbeliever. There would be no end of contention between us on beliefs...if I were to go volunteer at the church, yet again... If I were to pay out of my own pocket to go on a missions trip, yet again...Giving of my time and money and everything I am...Daily devotions and prayer...Devoting ME to God.

How could I give myself to someone who doesn't understand and believe in anything I believe in?
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#4
There would be no point in dating someone I am forbidden to marry. To risk falling in love with them only to be hurt would be foolish. Someone who did not understand my faith would not be able to fully reciprocate as I would need them to.
 
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kiwi_OT

Guest
#5
I know that as an Atheist, I'd probably have a really hard time dating a Christian (Mainly if he was a fundamentalist or creationist) simply because I value knowledge and the sciences, and I don't think I'd be able to have a real meaningful relationship with someone who was so blind to that.

So what about the flip side? Believers? What do you think?

Have you read "The Case for Faith" by Lee Strobel?

I reccommend it regardless of whether your christian or athiest (seeing as the book was written by a former athiest).
 
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kiwi_OT

Guest
#6
And I respectfully disagree your assumption that Christians don't care about knowledge and science. Maybe you tried to put across that a christian wouldn't agree to your definitions and understanding of knowledge and science and that includes things outside of topics in the bible. But to say that an athiest or even an agnostic person has a better reputation in things like academics is incrediably narrow minded.
 
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FireOnTheAltar

Guest
#7
I know that as an Atheist, I'd probably have a really hard time dating a Christian (Mainly if he was a fundamentalist or creationist) simply because I value knowledge and the sciences, and I don't think I'd be able to have a real meaningful relationship with someone who was so blind to that.

So what about the flip side? Believers? What do you think?
I agree that as a Christian it would be very difficult to date someone who didn't hold to the same beliefs or possibly the same values as I do. It's hard enough to date to a Christian who doesn't share simular beliefs. *lol*

However, I do agree with Kiwi_OT. Many Christians value science and knowledge. In fact, many well respected astronomers will profess that due to their research they tend to lean toward some sort of intelligent design.
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#8
I agree that as a Christian it would be very difficult to date someone who didn't hold to the same beliefs or possibly the same values as I do. It's hard enough to date to a Christian who doesn't share simular beliefs. *lol*

However, I do agree with Kiwi_OT. Many Christians value science and knowledge. In fact, many well respected astronomers will profess that due to their research they tend to lean toward some sort of intelligent design.
hahaha Amen!
 
Apr 30, 2011
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#9
And I respectfully disagree your assumption that Christians don't care about knowledge and science. Maybe you tried to put across that a christian wouldn't agree to your definitions and understanding of knowledge and science and that includes things outside of topics in the bible. But to say that an athiest or even an agnostic person has a better reputation in things like academics is incrediably narrow minded.
I should have added skepticism and rationalism to that list too.
 
Jun 20, 2010
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#10
Julliana said:
hahaha Amen!
The same with any group, we're all different, even within the group itself :).. although perhaps a :( is more appropriate.. because its less likely one understands me ;)

Kiwi_OT said:
Have you read "The Case for Faith" by Lee Strobel?
I reccommend it regardless of whether your christian or athiest (seeing as the book was written by a former athiest).
I guess every topic is a witnessing opportunity :p
 
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jimmydiggs

Guest
#11
I should have added skepticism and rationalism to that list too.
Hmm, I was gunna ask if you wanted to catch dinner and a movie. Guess that's not happening...



Humor aside, it goes something like this.

 

Stuey

Senior Member
Aug 17, 2009
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#12
Phineas, you call us close minded, irrational, people who do not value knowledge... Yet you have not yet responded to my questions in the evolution thread.

http://christianchat.com/christian-young-adults-forum/23402-evolution-1.html

Christianity has nothing to fear from science. Open your mind to the possibility that god does exist, rather than judging before seeing all the facts. Dig deeper, you will find the truth.

And I agree with what has been said above, too many arguments and disagreements on how to go about general life, and the purpose of said life.
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#13
The same with any group, we're all different, even within the group itself :).. although perhaps a :( is more appropriate.. because its less likely one understands me ;)
I actually do understand your point and I too think it is sad when some in the body of Christ forget the Spirit of the scriptures and the Spirit they are of to the point of quarrels and disunity. This is not pleasing to the Lord, but that's a whole other thread. :)
 
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NMsmile

Guest
#14
Xphineasx your thinking is sound. You shouldn't date Christians. The problem is that you are drawn to the light and/or the forbidden. :)
 
Apr 24, 2011
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#15
I'd date a Christian. Yes, there are some beliefs that some Christians may or may not hold that would be a deal-breaker for me, but there are plenty who don't believe in those particular interpretations or details, so I'd be fine in a relationship with them. My reasoning is basically... Why not? I see them the way I see all other people, and I see most people as good. I actually personally know quite a few Christian guys I'm open to the idea of a relationship with.


...Now I hope never to date a non Christian, it wouldn't be fair on me, or them...
...unfair to expect them to give up sex, getting drunk, drugs or whatever...
I'm not saying that you're wrong about the preferences and opinions that have you not want to date a non-Christian, it's totally fine if you feel that way! But I'd just like to point out that there are tons of non-Christians aren't into drugs or drunkenness or sex with people who we aren't in a good relationship with. You could meet some very nice, responsible, clean non-religious people.

Personally, I couldn't marry an unbeliever. There would be no end of contention between us on beliefs...if I were to go volunteer at the church, yet again... If I were to pay out of my own pocket to go on a missions trip, yet again...
I completely understand why you wouldn't want to date a non-Christian and I'm not saying you're wrong, as you're entirely free to decide who you'd like to enter a relationship with. I just want to say that (and I speak for many other non-religious people too) I'd have no problem with my hypothetical boyfriend going to church, or on a missions trip, which I think he's free to pay out of pocket for, earned the money himself after all! And I would actually love to come with him to volunteer to help the poor or other people in need, either with the church or with a non-religious charity, helping people will always feel wonderful to me :)
 

Liamson

Senior Member
Feb 3, 2010
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#16
I've dated both. At the end of the day, it was not the absence of empirical measure or the limits of philosophical understanding that stood between us but, rather the purpose and end of all things. As a person who has exercised considerable effort into understanding both sides of many different arguments and perspectives, I can say that there is a deep seated labeling that occurs in order to justify one's experience. The more experience a person possesses within a school of thought, the less likely they are to be open to the possibility of alternative explanations regarding such fundamentally intrinsic tangibles as Consciousness and the perception of the passage of time. However, these differing opinions, stem from the expectations that exist based on the framework a person has derived their own background. Essentially, the foundation for propagating and creating ideas is a filter by which concepts must pass before the validation of whether or not these concepts are even admissible. Such a foundation is rooted in Morality, Permissibility and whatever initial philosophy the person is internally pandering to.

The values and differences of things like the meaning of 'equality' and the virtuous nature of ideas like 'Honor' are necessary hurdles to people actually being able to communicate the importance of their own belief structure. Also the understanding of the existence or non-existence of the soul. The value of human life, the sanctity of the human experience, the underpinnings of social constructs, politics and spirituality all make-up the filter by which our perspective is seen. In the same way that a person who hoards junk and a person who keeps nothing have different value constructs to justify their particular position, the underlying fundamental psychological mechanisms by which these formulations have been established runs far deeper than merely a price index.

To define a belief by the absence of a belief, is in fact a negative definition. Which is why a lot of Atheists tend to label themselves as humanist, strong or weak atheists. However, this does not negate the fact that having an absence of a defined belief in a God( or the absence of a defined belief in anything) does allow for a moral vacuum to form, the extent of which is immeasurable.

However, this is not to point the finger at Atheists and say, "Stalin was an atheist, therefore atheists are capable of anything!" No idea in the history of mankind has had an equal effect on everyone who has heard or believed this idea to be true. The same can be said of Christianity, however where Christianity succeeds and Atheism leaves much to be desired is the fact that Christianity has established a moral code and the structure to socially enforce the rules provided within that code, as well as the consequences for violations of said code.

Granted I'm taking liberties here but, Christianity is not limited to merely being a moral code. It is a belief in a God that supersedes the Empirically Observable Universe and has provided the navigational means by which to overcome a very tangible thing like death. If one is truly an Atheist then by definition they can make no positive claims concerning a God they do not believe in. However, as with most things, meaning supersedes the literal definition of terms and most Atheists are in fact reactionary Anti-theists governed by the need to invalidate fundamental properties of Christianity like Faith, Righteousness and the eternal Soul. Buddhists do not believe in God (or a god) yet they have not subscribed to this form proselytizing.




So to really answer the question concerning the compatibility of Christian and Atheist. Fundamentally, one or the other person would have to be divested of his or her foundational understanding of the mechanisms by which they have found purpose (or the absence of) for their existence. I am a Christian, I was an Atheist. At the end of the day it was Science, Philosophy and more importantly Grace (& Love) which made remaining abject to the existence of God, impossible for me to stomach.
 

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
Aug 2, 2009
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#17
I know that as an Atheist, I'd probably have a really hard time dating a Christian (Mainly if he was a fundamentalist or creationist) simply because I value knowledge and the sciences, and I don't think I'd be able to have a real meaningful relationship with someone who was so blind to that.

So what about the flip side? Believers? What do you think?
Yea, no christian holds a PhD or MD or MBA or law degree. We're just simple minded geeks that live in little brown huts and chew on straw all day. God forbid if we actually manage to rub a couple brain cells together.
 
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kiwi_OT

Guest
#18
I should have added skepticism and rationalism to that list too.
Its ok to be skeptic. In the bible we are told to be skeptic in all things til we test them. Like I said, I really recommend that Lee Strobel book. Hide the cover of the book if your ashamed of your athiest friends seeing you read it. Investigating all possible truths and seeing which ones are the more reliable and that includes Jesus - objectively, now thats rationalism. Who cares about the location of Noahs ark, or when judgement day is or even when the world started or how it started. Just start with Jesus. Prove to me that he didnt live. Prove to me he didnt die and rise again. Rationally you can't. Not even the most hardened academic athiests can do it. And if you can't disprove Jesus, that puts you in a bit of a pickle with your athiest religion.

So if you and I were in a relationship, of course we'd disagree majorly. I believe I am loved unconditionally from the result of Jesus dying for me. You believe that millions of years ago you came from plankton. Now tell me which one seems more rational in this world?

Which one do you call yourself - a fish or a fisherman? lol

God bless though! :D
 
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iamsdaughter

Guest
#19
what does light have in common with darkness, we christians love knowledge, however alot of scientific knowledge is theory.
 
Apr 24, 2011
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#20
I really recommend that Lee Strobel book. Hide the cover of the book if your ashamed of your athiest friends seeing you read it.
I'd just like to say that, as a non-religious person, I have read Lee Strobel's "The Case For Christ" and even though I believe the book doesn't use valid logic/evidence, I would encourage any of my friends to read it if they were interested, not to ignore it. :)

I just wanted to contribute that little detail Kiwi, I disagree with a lot of other things you're saying, and I'm sure you feel the same vice-versa, but let's just be friends and not fight about those!