Why do Christians think its okay to associate with evildoers or absolve their behavior?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

Pilgrimshope

Well-known member
Sep 2, 2020
14,177
5,727
113
#41
Yes people could realize that they too are a sinner. But listen to this: I read the story of a family whose daughter was murdered by two evil men. Instead of reaching out to the murdered young woman's parents who were in a great deal of pain from the injustice, the nun, Sister Prejean, reached out to the PERPETRATORS, praying for them, and trying to help them in any way that she could.

It just so happened that the murdered girls parents were Catholics and were extremely harmed by Sister Prejeans' kindness towards two men who had brutally murdered their daughter.

Can I ask for a vote as to how many people here believed that Sister Prejean was really doing the Lord's Work?

I in no way want to influence anyone else's views but I'll give you my take on this:

I think Sister Prejean is a lunatic.

The article showed her in her nun's outfit holding her cross and looking longingly up at a statue of Jesus. I don't think that woman knows the first thing about doing the Lord's work.

How can something be the "Lord's work" if it is greatly harming another person in the process??

In my opinion - that Nun - who HAD NEVER GIVEN BIRTH, HAD NEVER FELT THE LIFE KICKING WITHIN HER, AND THE INEXPLICABLE BOND OF MOTHER AND CHILD...HOW COULD SHE >>> EVER <<< CLAIM TO KNOW THE TRUE SENSE OF EXTREME, EXCRUCIATING PAIN OF KNOWING THAT SOME DEMONICALLY CONTROLLED EVIL THING ATT allACKED AND VICIOUSLY ENDED THE LIFE OF A LOVED ONE?

She couldn't because she never experienced that bond...that intense love.

That Nun who THOUGHT that she was doing all this good (and if truth be told she was probably getting accolades for it from someone) when in REALITY she was probably doing EVIL.

They're my views on how this issue gets very sticky.
um I would say the lords work are those things that Christ taught so I might not be the right person to decide based on that story if she was doing the lords work .

forgiving , showing mercy even to those who have done wrong is something Jesus taught so that would be his work if we do that , that’s just my opinion though .

ultimately my opinion doesn’t make any change or difference , but whatever Jesus opinion is about a matter is the right view .
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
60,334
29,582
113
#42
Yes people could realize that they too are a sinner. But listen to this: I read the story of a family whose daughter was murdered by two evil men. Instead of reaching out to the murdered young woman's parents who were in a great deal of pain from the injustice, the nun, Sister Prejean, reached out to the PERPETRATORS, praying for them, and trying to help them in any way that she could.

It just so happened that the murdered girls parents were Catholics and were extremely harmed by Sister Prejeans' kindness towards two men who had brutally murdered their daughter.

Can I ask for a vote as to how many people here believed that Sister Prejean was really doing the Lord's Work?

I in no way want to influence anyone else's views but I'll give you my take on this:

I think Sister Prejean is a lunatic.

The article showed her in her nun's outfit holding her cross and looking longingly up at a statue of Jesus. I don't think that woman knows the first thing about doing the Lord's work.

How can something be the "Lord's work" if it is greatly harming another person in the process??

In my opinion - that Nun - who HAD NEVER GIVEN BIRTH, HAD NEVER FELT THE LIFE KICKING WITHIN HER, AND THE INEXPLICABLE BOND OF MOTHER AND CHILD...HOW COULD SHE >>> EVER <<< CLAIM TO KNOW THE TRUE SENSE OF EXTREME, EXCRUCIATING PAIN OF KNOWING THAT SOME DEMONICALLY CONTROLLED EVIL THING ATT allACKED AND VICIOUSLY ENDED THE LIFE OF A LOVED ONE?

She couldn't because she never experienced that bond...that intense love.

That Nun who THOUGHT that she was doing all this good (and if truth be told she was probably getting accolades for it from someone) when in REALITY she was probably doing EVIL.

They're my views on how this issue gets very sticky.
Perhaps this nun's praying for the perpetrators of the injustice done to the family will go some distance to preventing those same perpetrators from committing the same crime again and bringing such pain and loss to another family?
 

saintrose

Well-known member
May 9, 2020
906
511
63
#43
I've read most of the thread and it seems as if some replies are not even on point, or perhaps I am the one who is misreading, anyhow....
I agree with what you are saying and could add tons of examples myself, folks who are in the church doors without fail at every meeting, yet gossiping, backbiting, lying and cheating in their everyday life and they are oh so popular. We are called to be witnesses yes, but we are not called to condone aid and ab

ed sinful ways of others especially if they be brothers/sisters in the faith of Messiah.

I see a world swiftly moving into darkness where deception is rampant and wisdom is rare. In 1 Corinthians we are told evil associations corrupt excellent morals. We are to be set apart from the world and worldly ways. Stand firm sister. We are to love no person on earth more than our Savior, not even a family member can we let get between us and what we know is right.
I too could fill a book with all the evil I've witnessed in church. I've talked to people so turned off that they don't attend church anymore.

My views have all changed over the years and now I look at things so differently. I saw where Christians were no different than those in the world - and in some cases positively worse. But I noticed that other Christians may not sin overtly yet they still sin (IMO) when they condone others' sinful behavior. Such as all the "Christians" who attended that church, knowing full well that the sinful family had forever damaged other peoples young children.

I just think that as Christians we bear the responsibility to not only ensure that we don't sin, but also that we don't condone it in others.

This world is quickly moving into darkness. There is a war on the truth unlike anything I have ever seen in my lifetime. I appreciate the fact that you can also see that condoning sin is harmful.

I see the forgiveness angle used far too frequently. "Have nothing to do with the unfruitful works of darkness AND EVEN EXPOSE THEM."
 

saintrose

Well-known member
May 9, 2020
906
511
63
#44
um I would say the lords work are those things that Christ taught so I might not be the right person to decide based on that story if she was doing the lords work .

forgiving , showing mercy even to those who have done wrong is something Jesus taught so that would be his work if we do that , that’s just my opinion though .

ultimately my opinion doesn’t make any change or difference , but whatever Jesus opinion is about a matter is the right view .
That story wasn't the best example but I just think that as Christians we have to be careful in all things - sometimes the good we intend to do ends up hurting others.
 

saintrose

Well-known member
May 9, 2020
906
511
63
#45
Perhaps this nun's praying for the perpetrators of the injustice done to the family will go some distance to preventing those same perpetrators from committing the same crime again and bringing such pain and loss to another family?
They were already in prison for it. The two men who committed the murder surely did need someone in their life to lead them to the Lord, but while the Nun claimed she wanted to do good, she was hurting the family of the murdered girl. I just think that we have to be careful when we attempt to do good that we are not hurting someone else in the process.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
60,334
29,582
113
#46
They were already in prison for it. The two men who committed the murder surely did need someone in their life to lead them to the Lord, but while the Nun claimed she wanted to do good, she was hurting the family of the murdered girl. I just think that we have to be careful when we attempt to do good that we are not hurting someone else in the process.
How was she hurting this family, exactly? The fact that they took umbrage at anyone praying for the souls of the perpetrators is on them. This reminds me of a real-life murder show I saw, where lots of people were weighing in online with their opinions on the murdered woman; the family was glued to all the negative comments, and said those people had to stop saying such things. Guess what? People are not going to stop such behavior. What really needed to stop was the family of the murdered woman reading every hurtful social media comment about their beloved daughter.
 
Sep 3, 2016
6,344
530
113
#47
I wasn't seeking an answer. I was perusing what I had lived through and saw that Christians at time ADD to another's grief by going along with another's wrongdoing - maybe stupidly so - but they still do it.

If anything I would like to urge Christians to really think before they act, and before they throw themselves behind a person. It just may be that person is manipulating you to harm another.
Only through faith in the Cross of Christ does the Holy Spirit give one eyes to see (John 3:3-5), therefore when we begin trusting in anything other, we go blind (2 Peter 1:9). Peter wrote that because he experienced it first hand.
 

saintrose

Well-known member
May 9, 2020
906
511
63
#48
I think that like many doctrines, it can be misunderstood and improperly applied.
Yes I think that too. And I think that we do a real disservice to people by thrusting our views on them.

I recall an issue where a teen in our church who was wild was harassing one of my family members and I asked his mother to tell him to stop coming to our house. She freaked out. I understood her as she had a very difficult marriage and had a lot of mental pressures. But I spoke to the pastor and the pastor's WIFE placed herself in the position of judge - I guess she had the erroneous notion that being the pastor's wife automatically conferred on her the duty to deliver appropriate judgements to the congregants.

She came up to me in church and said "NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! YOU are supposed to FORGIVE!" She was totally out of line. I could handle it because I'm not a shrinking violet but she could have really hurt someone by placing herself in the position of judge and jury.

I've seen so much wrong in church by "well-meaning" people who THINK they're doing good but end up doing wrong.

I knew someone whose daughter was interviewed by the headmaster of a Christian school. He said something so horrible to that young girl that he should have been fired.

There are outrageous things said and done in the name of doing "good" than we even realize. A family member refuses to go to any independent Bible Church because of how she was mistreated. I just wonder why this isn't discussed more.
 

saintrose

Well-known member
May 9, 2020
906
511
63
#49
How was she hurting this family, exactly? The fact that they took umbrage at anyone praying for the souls of the perpetrators is on them. This reminds me of a real-life murder show I saw, where lots of people were weighing in online with their opinions on the murdered woman; the family was glued to all the negative comments, and said those people had to stop saying such things. Guess what? People are not going to stop such behavior. What really needed to stop was the family of the murdered woman reading every hurtful social media comment about their beloved daughter.
I agree social media can get vicious. However, if the family requested that the comments be shut off because they are excruciating I believe that their wishes should be honored. I think change has to START WITH US. AS CHRISTIANS WE SHOULD TAKE A STAND FOR WHAT IS RIGHT AND NOT THROW OUR HANDS UP AND SAY "THAT'S LIFE" THAT'S JUST HOW PEOPLE ARE! THEY'RE CRUEL."

if not us then who???

WE SHOULD TRY TO DO BETTER; TO MAKE THINGS BETTER.

If you've ever experienced gut-wrench, gut-twisting, air-knocked-out-of-you, dizzying emotional pain that leaves you reeling you would not understand. If you have never had a child and knew those intense feelings of love, you would not understand.

If you have never loved another with intense, deep love, you wouldn't understand.

If someone did something so ATROCIOUS to one that you love, the LAST thing that you need to see is some bubble-headed nun fluttering around and acting like she's the very emissary of God Himself, buzzing around fawning over two despicable, repugnant, pieces of garbage that brutalized one that you love.

As Christians, we need to put ourselves in the place of others. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." THIS IS WHAT CHRIST INSTRUCTS US TO DO AND THAT NUN DID NOT DO THAT. SHE DID WHAT LOOKED GOOD IN THE EYES OF OTHERS.

I think that kind of "christianity" is fake. I think the Nun was doing it because of the accolades that she got from onlookers. I could read her face: I know the face - the look - of true compassion, and I know the look of someone who does things for personal gain. If Christians honed their discernment they could read facial expressions too. I've studied body language, and took a course in forensic psychology but anyone can learn to recognize facial expressions. It's sometimes difficult as you can read others and you see so much deception but I'm still glad I took it. I can't bear to watch politicians and newscasters as their lies are so blatant.

If the Nun truly wanted to do the Lord's work she should have begun with the murdered girl's family. She could have waited until their feelings weren't so fresh, and raw, and on fire. Anyone who has ever lived through that type of pain knows the pain of which I speak.

That type of do-gooding HARMS OTHERS AND IS NOT THE GOOD THAT I BELIEVE GOD WANTS US TO DO.

There must be Scripture verses that apply but none come to mind right now.
 

saintrose

Well-known member
May 9, 2020
906
511
63
#50
I agree social media can get vicious. However, if the family requested that the comments be shut off because they are excruciating I believe that their wishes should be honored. I think change has to START WITH US. AS CHRISTIANS WE SHOULD TAKE A STAND FOR WHAT IS RIGHT AND NOT THROW OUR HANDS UP AND SAY "THAT'S LIFE" THAT'S JUST HOW PEOPLE ARE! THEY'RE CRUEL."

if not us then who???

WE SHOULD TRY TO DO BETTER; TO MAKE THINGS BETTER.

If you've ever experienced gut-wrench, gut-twisting, air-knocked-out-of-you, dizzying emotional pain that leaves you reeling you would not understand. If you have never had a child and knew those intense feelings of love, you would not understand.

If you have never loved another with intense, deep love, you wouldn't understand.

If someone did something so ATROCIOUS to one that you love, the LAST thing that you need to see is some bubble-headed nun fluttering around and acting like she's the very emissary of God Himself, buzzing around fawning over two despicable, repugnant, pieces of garbage that brutalized one that you love.

As Christians, we need to put ourselves in the place of others. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." THIS IS WHAT CHRIST INSTRUCTS US TO DO AND THAT NUN DID NOT DO THAT. SHE DID WHAT LOOKED GOOD IN THE EYES OF OTHERS.

I think that kind of "christianity" is fake. I think the Nun was doing it because of the accolades that she got from onlookers. I could read her face: I know the face - the look - of true compassion, and I know the look of someone who does things for personal gain. If Christians honed their discernment they could read facial expressions too. I've studied body language, and took a course in forensic psychology but anyone can learn to recognize facial expressions. It's sometimes difficult as you can read others and you see so much deception but I'm still glad I took it. I can't bear to watch politicians and newscasters as their lies are so blatant.

If the Nun truly wanted to do the Lord's work she should have begun with the murdered girl's family. She could have waited until their feelings weren't so fresh, and raw, and on fire. Anyone who has ever lived through that type of pain knows the pain of which I speak.

That type of do-gooding HARMS OTHERS AND IS NOT THE GOOD THAT I BELIEVE GOD WANTS US TO DO.

There must be Scripture verses that apply but none come to mind right now.
Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven.

2 Therefore when thou doest thine alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

3 But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth:

4 That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly.

5 And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#51
Unsure how you mean that applies.
ok say your friend is married to an abusive husband (or wife) and you say thats not on but seeing as you are not their inlaws you cant really do anything to stop the abuse even though that spouse is not abusing you but your friend.
and you might advise them to leave this abuser but they just either stay with them, or when they leave them the spouse gets even more angry and claims his or her right to their spouse and ends up making things worse and stalks them.

this is not to mean you are ok with this going on but you cant really do anything about it cos they are still married and the spouse has legal access to everything. You cant even place a restraining order or anything. unless they themselves take action.

and you might even pray to God to stop it but this spouse keeps on abusing them because that person doesnt dont do anything to escape, or leave, even if you open the door, and the abuser is not going to listen to you. They can say we are married, butt out. Even the police will not intervene and just say its a domestic.

and only if they pay lawyers heaps of money can they get a proper divorce.

and maybe this spouse claims they are christian which makes it even worse cos they can claim such evil in the name of God and say the wife has to submit to them even if he gives her a black eye. I dont know about the other way round but a wife can do equal damage and henpeck her husband to the point where he gives up will to live and doesnt take any of his God given responsibilities seriously.

so what do you do when you witness so many loveless marriages around you? when the wife disrespects her husband and and the husband ignores his wife and speaks down to his children and calls them brats? or theres bullying amongst siblings?

If you are christian it would break your heart to see that happen in other families but you cant do much about it. unless they ask you for help.

also a lot of people just think its their private business, but not when it affects children for the rest of their lives.
 

saintrose

Well-known member
May 9, 2020
906
511
63
#52
um I would say the lords work are those things that Christ taught so I might not be the right person to decide based on that story if she was doing the lords work .

forgiving , showing mercy even to those who have done wrong is something Jesus taught so that would be his work if we do that , that’s just my opinion though .

ultimately my opinion doesn’t make any change or difference , but whatever Jesus opinion is about a matter is the right view .
Yes but there is a right time to forgive and show mercy to those who have done wrong: when they repent. Scripture teaches that IF he repents forgive him - which I believe means that UNLESS HE REPENTS HE DOES NOT DESERVE YOUR FORGIVENESS, MERCY ETC.

Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. - Luke 17:3

This is where I think that we all misuse the forgiveness doctrine and HARM OTHERS.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#53
Yes but there is a right time to forgive and show mercy to those who have done wrong: when they repent. Scripture teaches that IF he repents forgive him - which I believe means that UNLESS HE REPENTS HE DOES NOT DESERVE YOUR FORGIVENESS, MERCY ETC.

Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. - Luke 17:3

This is where I think that we all misuse the forgiveness doctrine and HARM OTHERS.
yea thats key...repentence. its the same with ourselves. if we dont repent of our wrongs we arent actually forgiven and thats where a lot of nominal christians are deluding themselves, as they havent yet repented and just assume they are forgiven!
 

Sipsey

Well-known member
Sep 27, 2018
1,481
695
113
#54
Yes I think that too. And I think that we do a real disservice to people by thrusting our views on them.

I recall an issue where a teen in our church who was wild was harassing one of my family members and I asked his mother to tell him to stop coming to our house. She freaked out. I understood her as she had a very difficult marriage and had a lot of mental pressures. But I spoke to the pastor and the pastor's WIFE placed herself in the position of judge - I guess she had the erroneous notion that being the pastor's wife automatically conferred on her the duty to deliver appropriate judgements to the congregants.

She came up to me in church and said "NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! YOU are supposed to FORGIVE!" She was totally out of line. I could handle it because I'm not a shrinking violet but she could have really hurt someone by placing herself in the position of judge and jury.

I've seen so much wrong in church by "well-meaning" people who THINK they're doing good but end up doing wrong.

I knew someone whose daughter was interviewed by the headmaster of a Christian school. He said something so horrible to that young girl that he should have been fired.

There are outrageous things said and done in the name of doing "good" than we even realize. A family member refuses to go to any independent Bible Church because of how she was mistreated. I just wonder why this isn't discussed more.
God has never given bad advice. Our human nature is full of human wisdom and personal opinion. It is only when our advice falls in line with God’s view, that true wisdom is dispensed. Even then, words can be rejected.

James said,” Understand this, my dear brothers, Let every person be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger.

Many of us speak too quickly before we pray about an issue.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
60,334
29,582
113
#55
I agree social media can get vicious. However, if the family requested that the comments be shut off because they are excruciating I believe that their wishes should be honored. I think change has to START WITH US. AS CHRISTIANS WE SHOULD TAKE A STAND FOR WHAT IS RIGHT AND NOT THROW OUR HANDS UP AND SAY "THAT'S LIFE" THAT'S JUST HOW PEOPLE ARE! THEY'RE CRUEL."

if not us then who???

WE SHOULD TRY TO DO BETTER; TO MAKE THINGS BETTER.

If you've ever experienced gut-wrench, gut-twisting, air-knocked-out-of-you, dizzying emotional pain that leaves you reeling you would not understand. If you have never had a child and knew those intense feelings of love, you would not understand.

If you have never loved another with intense, deep love, you wouldn't understand.

If someone did something so ATROCIOUS to one that you love, the LAST thing that you need to see is some bubble-headed nun fluttering around and acting like she's the very emissary of God Himself, buzzing around fawning over two despicable, repugnant, pieces of garbage that brutalized one that you love.

As Christians, we need to put ourselves in the place of others. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." THIS IS WHAT CHRIST INSTRUCTS US TO DO AND THAT NUN DID NOT DO THAT. SHE DID WHAT LOOKED GOOD IN THE EYES OF OTHERS.

I think that kind of "christianity" is fake. I think the Nun was doing it because of the accolades that she got from onlookers. I could read her face: I know the face - the look - of true compassion, and I know the look of someone who does things for personal gain. If Christians honed their discernment they could read facial expressions too. I've studied body language, and took a course in forensic psychology but anyone can learn to recognize facial expressions. It's sometimes difficult as you can read others and you see so much deception but I'm still glad I took it. I can't bear to watch politicians and newscasters as their lies are so blatant.

If the Nun truly wanted to do the Lord's work she should have begun with the murdered girl's family. She could have waited until their feelings weren't so fresh, and raw, and on fire. Anyone who has ever lived through that type of pain knows the pain of which I speak.

That type of do-gooding HARMS OTHERS AND IS NOT THE GOOD THAT I BELIEVE GOD WANTS US TO DO.

There must be Scripture verses that apply but none come to mind right now.
Dear SaintRose. I do understand, but I also understand the need for people to take personal responsibility. If focusing on something is causing someone pain, they need to shift their focus. We are powerless over the questionable, objectionable, and bad behaviors of others, especially if they have no desire to honor our wishes above theirs.

We have been reading through Lamentations in my church the past few weeks. What strikes me is how, even in the depths of their despair and disgrace, the writer (believed to be Jeremiah?) acknowledges the eternal power and everlasting goodness of God. Truly I am sorry you suffer so much injustice in your life. I do understand also what it is like to be the victim of others' deceitfulness and dishonest motivations, but I choose not to live as a victim. Yes, I have been devastated by losses of many sorts in my life: children, love, and my own inability to live up to the expectations I hold for others. One of the most difficult things for me to forgive myself for was my inability to mother my own child when she was young. This failure haunted me for many years. I was not a Christian at the time, and was in active addiction and alcoholism, which I was delivered from when I cried out to the God I did not believe in, for help. My life was emotionally hellish at the time of my daughter's birth and the eventual failure of my marriage following multiple miscarriages including a still birth, but my daughter today is one of the biggest blessings in my life. Expressing gratitude for what blessings we do have is, I believe, an effectual antidote to those things which can rob us of our peace of mind, which is a precious commodity given the amount of wickedness and evil in the world.

 

Pilgrimshope

Well-known member
Sep 2, 2020
14,177
5,727
113
#56
That story wasn't the best example but I just think that as Christians we have to be careful in all things - sometimes the good we intend to do ends up hurting others.
yes I agree sometimes we intend doing good and it ends up hurting other people . Gods work is to believe in Christ and follow the things he taught us .

“Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:

For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat , I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.

And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭25:34-36,

people caring for other people in his name
 

saintrose

Well-known member
May 9, 2020
906
511
63
#57
God has never given bad advice. Our human nature is full of human wisdom and personal opinion. It is only when our advice falls in line with God’s view, that true wisdom is dispensed. Even then, words can be rejected.

James said,” Understand this, my dear brothers, Let every person be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger.

Many of us speak too quickly before we pray about an issue.
I didn't say God gave bad advice but I do think that people often produce harm when trying to do "good."
 

saintrose

Well-known member
May 9, 2020
906
511
63
#58
Dear SaintRose. I do understand, but I also understand the need for people to take personal responsibility. If focusing on something is causing someone pain, they need to shift their focus. We are powerless over the questionable, objectionable, and bad behaviors of others, especially if they have no desire to honor our wishes above theirs.

We have been reading through Lamentations in my church the past few weeks. What strikes me is how, even in the depths of their despair and disgrace, the writer (believed to be Jeremiah?) acknowledges the eternal power and everlasting goodness of God. Truly I am sorry you suffer so much injustice in your life. I do understand also what it is like to be the victim of others' deceitfulness and dishonest motivations, but I choose not to live as a victim. Yes, I have been devastated by losses of many sorts in my life: children, love, and my own inability to live up to the expectations I hold for others. One of the most difficult things for me to forgive myself for was my inability to mother my own child when she was young. This failure haunted me for many years. I was not a Christian at the time, and was in active addiction and alcoholism, which I was delivered from when I cried out to the God I did not believe in, for help. My life was emotionally hellish at the time of my daughter's birth and the eventual failure of my marriage following multiple miscarriages including a still birth, but my daughter today is one of the biggest blessings in my life. Expressing gratitude for what blessings we do have is, I believe, an effectual antidote to those things which can rob us of our peace of mind, which is a precious commodity given the amount of wickedness and evil in the world.

I don't believe we're powerless. We can point something out when someone is doing something to hurt another.

I was in the supermarket behind this woman who looked like she had been through something really bad. The cashier - a young guy - said "Oh you really look like you need a smile! Can't you smile?!"

The woman forced a smile - and that's just what it was: forced. So I jumped in and said "I don't smile on command!" I think I took the guy by surprise and he muttered something but that woman turned and looked at me with sad but grateful eyes.

We CAN do something. We can speak up when a wrong is being committed.

Someone told me a woman from church attempted sucide and some bubblehead said "Oh what you need is song! Let's all sing!" And gathered several people around her and sang. I asked what the woman did and my friend said "she wasn't singing."

It's times like that when people try to do good and fall flat. Let the woman be sad! I'm sure you know the Scripture about singing a song to a heavy heart.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
60,334
29,582
113
#59
I don't believe we're powerless. We can point something out when someone is doing something to hurt another.
Yes, point something out. But if the person does not want to take what you say under advisement and decides to ignore it instead? You have changed nothing. We are powerless over others. If we weren't, everything would have gone the way we wanted it to every single time. You would never have experienced betrayal or any other hurtful thing in your life, but just imagine, if others had that same power over you, what would you be? Their puppet?
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#60
betrayal is the most painful thing but Jesus was able to deal with it.

two disciples - Judas and Peter, betrayed him, Judas died. but Jesus forgave Peter.

A lot of people in my life, and some were believers or christians in the sense they thought themselves to be, have betrayed me but I was able to move on from that. It might be harder when its your own familiy but God will give you a way out of temptation.

You yourself, cannot correct every single person everytime they do something wrong. And God, even He does not keep a record of wrongs if someone is willing to repent.

That someone has done you a wrong and hasnt repented doesnt mean you cannot seek justice, but you really need to pick your battles and be prepared to stand up for what is right. If this is your conviction, then God will equip you. But it cant be just for yourself, you need to be praying for others. God only released and blessed Job when he prayed for others.