Pregnant & recently single-heartbroken need men’s perspective

[neverhopeless911]

I will try to make this as short as possible it’s a looot I am pregnant and my bf wasn’t happy abt it, we have a toddler together already, he wanted an abortion on both pregnancies, not an option for me. I refused and stayed w him he eventually got on board and we were trying to make it work fr my family, I mentioned before I wanted marriage and he said he did too yet I feel like he’s been stringing me a long fr 2 years. He claims to want to be blessed by God too so wants to marry also and when he messes up and I’m ready to leave he begs me to go to church w him and to let God fix us, so I do and again I stay...I forgive I move fwd w him. He has communication issues and talking is nearly impossible, he always leaves us when he’s mad at me he says it’s my house bc it’s under my name so tht it’s not his “home” and wanted me to sell but he’s so unstable it scares me to get rid of the only stability I have at the moment! So lately idk if due to hormones I’ve been feeling ready to walk away bc I feel alone, he doesn’t help me with our bills hasn’t in two years he says it’s my house not his when I questioned him why he doesn’t care to contribute he says I make it clear this is not his home and that’s his excuse, which is not true, I tel him he could treat it as his home if he wanted to, so he notices I’m distant bc everything is adding up and bothering me and he breaks up w me accuses me of cheating and btw anytime we disagree he moves out moves in w a friend or his brother, I lost track of how many times he’s left us, he doesn’t help around the house or with the kids..and when he is here he’s not present he’ll be on his phone or laptop into his stocks. But when he leaves after a while he starts missing me and comes back, and we try again!!!!! I’m exhausted I want to do right by God to be blessed to be married to have a supportive loving husband that doesn’t abandon me and the kids one that helps me and takes care of me that actually cares abt losing me, how can he do this to me I’m 14 weeks pregnant and high risk and have been so sick and he could care less I asked him for a conversation before he left and he refused to speak w me and preferred ending things w me over text and ✌️ emoji, smh. He was being insulting and mean...oh gosh I’m lost and idk what to for my kids, I had to block him from texting bc he was being mean and disrespectful calling me pathetic saying he was glad he left me, I asked him to stop and he wouldn’t, I’m torn I want him in the kids lives but the devil has such a strong hold on him, I wish he was a better man a Godly man, a real one not one that just wants church on sundays thn treats his pregnant child’s mother terribly 😔 he makes an effort to go to church so it makes me believe there’s hope I just don’t know what gets into him. Men pls help me understand, he’s 31, claims to want to settle and that he cares about his family however his actions leave me feeling lonely and unworthy, taken advantage of. God has been my only hope and strength I just feel like I should give up on him and vanish, I wish he would sign off his parental rights for abandonment yet he threatens me to make my life hell in court if I keep my kids away from him yet he neglects our toddler and wanted me to abort both of them pls help me 😔 I need the lords guidance I’m at the end of my rope... even considered ending pregnancy I don’t want to go through this alone my family doesn’t know I’m expecting and feel like a fool to announce know that he left me again.

 

[GaryA]

Has he ever made a profession of faith? Do you have a good reason to honestly believe with certainty that he is a born-again Christian?

 

[neverhopeless911]

Has he ever made a profession of faith? Do you have a good reason to honestly believe with certainty that he is a born-again Christian?

At this point I don’t think so although he claims it and he has stated he’s been baptized for a long time too i get the feeling he wants the best of both worlds, he likes to drink to the point of getting drunk and go out and on sundays he wants to do church 😔 he gets mad at me bc I question his relationship w God due to his actions and I don’t mean to judge him I just believe he needs to really get closer to the Lord... I feel that if the Holy Spirit truly lived in him he wouldn’t treat me how he does. It breaks my heart. I have prayed so much for us and I’m starting to think I’m only wasting my time. I’m a hard worker, I have been a single mom before I met him and have always been independent I’ve struggled all by myself I have worked hard to buy my own home I have a good career i don’t go out I don’t drink or party like I used to, I don’t disrespect him in ANY way I just don’t get why he can’t get it together for our family.

 

[Roughsoul1991]

I will try to make this as short as possible it’s a looot I am pregnant and my bf wasn’t happy abt it, we have a toddler together already, he wanted an abortion on both pregnancies, not an option for me. I refused and stayed w him he eventually got on board and we were trying to make it work fr my family, I mentioned before I wanted marriage and he said he did too yet I feel like he’s been stringing me a long fr 2 years. He claims to want to be blessed by God too so wants to marry also and when he messes up and I’m ready to leave he begs me to go to church w him and to let God fix us, so I do and again I stay...I forgive I move fwd w him. He has communication issues and talking is nearly impossible, he always leaves us when he’s mad at me he says it’s my house bc it’s under my name so tht it’s not his “home” and wanted me to sell but he’s so unstable it scares me to get rid of the only stability I have at the moment! So lately idk if due to hormones I’ve been feeling ready to walk away bc I feel alone, he doesn’t help me with our bills hasn’t in two years he says it’s my house not his when I questioned him why he doesn’t care to contribute he says I make it clear this is not his home and that’s his excuse, which is not true, I tel him he could treat it as his home if he wanted to, so he notices I’m distant bc everything is adding up and bothering me and he breaks up w me accuses me of cheating and btw anytime we disagree he moves out moves in w a friend or his brother, I lost track of how many times he’s left us, he doesn’t help around the house or with the kids..and when he is here he’s not present he’ll be on his phone or laptop into his stocks. But when he leaves after a while he starts missing me and comes back, and we try again!!!!! I’m exhausted I want to do right by God to be blessed to be married to have a supportive loving husband that doesn’t abandon me and the kids one that helps me and takes care of me that actually cares abt losing me, how can he do this to me I’m 14 weeks pregnant and high risk and have been so sick and he could care less I asked him for a conversation before he left and he refused to speak w me and preferred ending things w me over text and ✌️ emoji, smh. He was being insulting and mean...oh gosh I’m lost and idk what to for my kids, I had to block him from texting bc he was being mean and disrespectful calling me pathetic saying he was glad he left me, I asked him to stop and he wouldn’t, I’m torn I want him in the kids lives but the devil has such a strong hold on him, I wish he was a better man a Godly man, a real one not one that just wants church on sundays thn treats his pregnant child’s mother terribly 😔 he makes an effort to go to church so it makes me believe there’s hope I just don’t know what gets into him. Men pls help me understand, he’s 31, claims to want to settle and that he cares about his family however his actions leave me feeling lonely and unworthy, taken advantage of. God has been my only hope and strength I just feel like I should give up on him and vanish, I wish he would sign off his parental rights for abandonment yet he threatens me to make my life hell in court if I keep my kids away from him yet he neglects our toddler and wanted me to abort both of them pls help me 😔 I need the lords guidance I’m at the end of my rope... even considered ending pregnancy I don’t want to go through this alone my family doesn’t know I’m expecting and feel like a fool to announce know that he left me again.

I am so sorry to hear of such heartache.
I am 30 so my experience isn't numbered in many years but I study the Word of God. I am also married with 3 biological kids and 2 who we have taken in.

I will pray for you as I hope you will pray these words too.

Father God, I am crying out to you in my time of despair and sorrow. I come to you God for peace, love, and guidance. Provide the supernatural peace that only you can provide. I know you are still in control and will never forsake me. I know you are the Alpha and Omega, the Great I Am. You who created the universe and commands the storms to cease, you can calm the storm in my life as well. You simply spoke and it was completed. From beyond time you knew my name and loved me even before my creation. You know the situation I am in and I will trust in you, and you alone. I will give you my all today. I will study your Word for guidance and from this moment forward set my eyes and mind on you. In Jesus's name, Amen.

Saying this prayer must involve your heart. Let your soul cry out to God. Your alignment with God has been dismantled by your spouse. You have no control over him and it has to be of his will to respond to you positively. So forget him for a while. Focus on your relationship with God and so often it will be out of abundance you will have the wisdom and love to deal with your spouse. Do not be afraid to get the court involved with children's issues. They by the majority take the side of the mother. Abortion will only make things worse as guilt will destroy your conscience.

You are a child of God, the daughter of a King. You are cherished and valuable in God's eyes and He as the divine Father loves you so much that He died in the Flesh for you.

What Christ endured tells us that in our trials and tribulations we will not be left alone. We will endure, we will grow stronger, and we will remember it is our hope in salvation that reminds us that these trials are worth enduring.

Search out any pregnancy resource centers for help. Churches can help too. Let family help. Do not let these problems get bottled up but speak them to God, to other believers, and never let them push God out of the center.

Your state may also have programs to help you out. You are never alone. You have God always but always find ways to stay connected to the body of Christ or fellow believers. Do not fear discipleship. Let God consume you and soon it God will consume your problems as well.

May God's love fill you, may His peace surround you, and may your heart be filled with joy.

 

[EternalFire]

Thank you for being so honest concerning your incredibly tough situation. My heart aches most especially for the children. Since I can tell that you desire to be a loving mother, it’s time for you to make some life-changing decisions that will be in the best interest of them.

First and foremost, you need to repent for disobeying God by living a sinful lifestyle of sexual immorality. Get right with God by obeying Him and keeping the commands of His son, the Lord Jesus Christ.

Your story painfully reminds of a similar situation addressed by David Pawson in the video below (starting around 36 minutes and 50 seconds) concerning a woman who was also living a sexually immoral lifestyle with her boyfriend, yet she wanted to be a Christian as well. I’ve provided a transcript of the section for you to read below the video. I pray you do the right thing.

I had another experience up in Aberdeen—Oil City. I was preaching the Gospel in a theatre for three nights. And at the end of the third night, a young lady came up to me. She was in a bad state. She was sobbing. She was, uh, angry. There were blotches in her skin. And she really looked in a bad way. And she said, “Mr. Pawson, you frustrate me!” And I said, “How do I frustrate you?” “You’ve made me want to be a Christian!” I said, “Well that’s why I came to Aberdeen.” And she said, “No, you don’t understand.” She said, “I’ve tried to be a Christian for 18 months.” She said, “Every Evangelist who’s preached in Aberdeen, I’ve gone forward at the end.” She said, “I’ve been counseled. I’ve tried to do what they told me. Nothing has changed.” And she said, “I came to the point where I believe there’s nothing in it.”

And I said, “How did you come to be in the theatre tonight?” She said, “A friend urged me to come along and hear you.” And she said, “I’d stopped wanting to be a Christian. Now you’ve raised it all again, and I’m frustrated.” And I asked the Holy Spirit for a word of wisdom, and He gave me one. And I looked her in the eye, and I said, “Who are you living with?” And she colored up a bit, and she said, “I’m living with a young man.”

I said, “Are you married to him?” “No.” “Are you living as if you were married?” “Yes.” “Why aren’t you married?” “Well, he doesn’t believe in marriage. He said, ‘It’s just a bit of paper. As long as we love each other that’s all that matters.’” So I said, “You’ve never made any promises to him, and he hasn’t made any to you. So if he leaves you tomorrow, he’s not breaking any promise?” “Oh, he won’t leave me tomorrow. He loves me too much.”

I said, “Well, you’ve got a very difficult decision to make.” I said, “I wish I could make it for you, but I can’t.” I said, “You’ve got to decide which man you want to live with: Jesus or this young man. Because He won’t join in an arrangement like that.” And she was turned on me with anger and said, “Nobody else told me that!” But I said, “Nobody else has helped you. I’m telling you what they should have told you.” I was really just telling her what repentance means. It means giving up a wrong relationship, apart from anything else.

And she then turned around and ran out of that theatre. And I heard her weeping all the way out. And my heart really went after her. And immediately I thought of the young man, a rich young man who came to Jesus. And He loved him. He said, “All that you need is to get rid of your money, and come on and follow me.” And the young man loved his money too much. And when faced with a choice, he chose his money. And this girl, she ran out of that theatre sobbing her heart out. My heart went with her. I’ve been back to Aberdeen. I’ve hoped to meet her again, but I never have. And I’ve never forgotten her. And I knew just how Jesus felt when the rich young man went away—loving his money. I was telling her what repentance meant, but that was what she wasn’t willing to do.

 

[neverhopeless911]

I am so sorry to hear of such heartache.
I am 30 so my experience isn't numbered in many years but I study the Word of God. I am also married with 3 biological kids and 2 who we have taken in.

I will pray for you as I hope you will pray these words too.

Father God, I am crying out to you in my time of despair and sorrow. I come to you God for peace, love, and guidance. Provide the supernatural peace that only you can provide. I know you are still in control and will never forsake me. I know you are the Alpha and Omega, the Great I Am. You who created the universe and commands the storms to cease, you can calm the storm in my life as well. You simply spoke and it was completed. From beyond time you knew my name and loved me even before my creation. You know the situation I am in and I will trust in you, and you alone. I will give you my all today. I will study your Word for guidance and from this moment forward set my eyes and mind on you. In Jesus's name, Amen.

Saying this prayer must involve your heart. Let your soul cry out to God. Your alignment with God has been dismantled by your spouse. You have no control over him and it has to be of his will to respond to you positively. So forget him for a while. Focus on your relationship with God and so often it will be out of abundance you will have the wisdom and love to deal with your spouse. Do not be afraid to get the court involved with children's issues. They by the majority take the side of the mother. Abortion will only make things worse as guilt will destroy your conscience.

You are a child of God, the daughter of a King. You are cherished and valuable in God's eyes and He as the divine Father loves you so much that He died in the Flesh for you.

What Christ endured tells us that in our trials and tribulations we will not be left alone. We will endure, we will grow stronger, and we will remember it is our hope in salvation that reminds us that these trials are worth enduring.

Search out any pregnancy resource centers for help. Churches can help too. Let family help. Do not let these problems get bottled up but speak them to God, to other believers, and never let them push God out of the center.

Your state may also have programs to help you out. You are never alone. You have God always but always find ways to stay connected to the body of Christ or fellow believers. Do not fear discipleship. Let God consume you and soon it God will consume your problems as well.

May God's love fill you, may His peace surround you, and may your heart be filled with joy.

Thank you for your words and the prayer, which I will be praying. Your words have brought me to tears. I appreciate you so much taking your time to read my lengthy post, I have no one to talk to. I’m sure God lead me here for a reason. You are right, I need to focus on God and my children, that need me. I have been a Christian since I was 8 and grew up in church fell off in my young adult years and I am here now ready to live for the Lord, I am tired of belonging to this cold world, I will be baptized for the first time ever on the 21st and I can’t wait. Thanks again. I needed your words.

 

[neverhopeless911]

Thank you for being so honest concerning your incredibly tough situation. My heart aches most especially for the children. Since I can tell that you desire to be a loving mother, it’s time for you to make some life-changing decisions that will be in the best interest of them.

First and foremost, you need to repent for disobeying God by living a sinful lifestyle of sexual immorality. Get right with God by obeying Him and keeping the commands of His son, the Lord Jesus Christ.

Your story painfully reminds of a similar situation addressed by David Pawson in the video below (starting around 36 minutes and 50 seconds) concerning a woman who was also living a sexually immoral lifestyle with her boyfriend, yet she wanted to be a Christian as well. I’ve provided a transcript of the section for you to read below the video. I pray you do the right thing.

I had another experience up in Aberdeen—Oil City. I was preaching the Gospel in a theatre for three nights. And at the end of the third night, a young lady came up to me. She was in a bad state. She was sobbing. She was, uh, angry. There were blotches in her skin. And she really looked in a bad way. And she said, “Mr. Pawson, you frustrate me!” And I said, “How do I frustrate you?” “You’ve made me want to be a Christian!” I said, “Well that’s why I came to Aberdeen.” And she said, “No, you don’t understand.” She said, “I’ve tried to be a Christian for 18 months.” She said, “Every Evangelist who’s preached in Aberdeen, I’ve gone forward at the end.” She said, “I’ve been counseled. I’ve tried to do what they told me. Nothing has changed.” And she said, “I came to the point where I believe there’s nothing in it.”

And I said, “How did you come to be in the theatre tonight?” She said, “A friend urged me to come along and hear you.” And she said, “I’d stopped wanting to be a Christian. Now you’ve raised it all again, and I’m frustrated.” And I asked the Holy Spirit for a word of wisdom, and He gave me one. And I looked her in the eye, and I said, “Who are you living with?” And she colored up a bit, and she said, “I’m living with a young man.”

I said, “Are you married to him?” “No.” “Are you living as if you were married?” “Yes.” “Why aren’t you married?” “Well, he doesn’t believe in marriage. He said, ‘It’s just a bit of paper. As long as we love each other that’s all that matters.’” So I said, “You’ve never made any promises to him, and he hasn’t made any to you. So if he leaves you tomorrow, he’s not breaking any promise?” “Oh, he won’t leave me tomorrow. He loves me too much.”

I said, “Well, you’ve got a very difficult decision to make.” I said, “I wish I could make it for you, but I can’t.” I said, “You’ve got to decide which man you want to live with: Jesus or this young man. Because He won’t join in an arrangement like that.” And she was turned on me with anger and said, “Nobody else told me that!” But I said, “Nobody else has helped you. I’m telling you what they should have told you.” I was really just telling her what repentance means. It means giving up a wrong relationship, apart from anything else.

And she then turned around and ran out of that theatre. And I heard her weeping all the way out. And my heart really went after her. And immediately I thought of the young man, a rich young man who came to Jesus. And He loved him. He said, “All that you need is to get rid of your money, and come on and follow me.” And the young man loved his money too much. And when faced with a choice, he chose his money. And this girl, she ran out of that theatre sobbing her heart out. My heart went with her. I’ve been back to Aberdeen. I’ve hoped to meet her again, but I never have. And I’ve never forgotten her. And I knew just how Jesus felt when the rich young man went away—loving his money. I was telling her what repentance meant, but that was what she wasn’t willing to do.

I understand this and this is why I mentioned me wanting to do the right thing, I am well aware that we have been living in sin, I told him I wanted to please God and wanted to get married, he made me believe he wanted the same which lead me to believe it would happen soon, I can’t make the man propose and commit to me if he’s not willing. I know I need to choose God I was just hoping I could have my marriage my husband my family & GOD that TOGETHER we could grow closer to him and serve him. 😔 guess that’s not happening and maybe his will is for me to be a single mother with a broken family.

 

[Roughsoul1991]

Thank you for your words and the prayer, which I will be praying. Your words have brought me to tears. I appreciate you so much taking your time to read my lengthy post, I have no one to talk to. I’m sure God lead me here for a reason. You are right, I need to focus on God and my children, that need me. I have been a Christian since I was 8 and grew up in church fell off in my young adult years and I am here now ready to live for the Lord, I am tired of belonging to this cold world, I will be baptized for the first time ever on the 21st and I can’t wait. Thanks again. I needed your words.

No problem. My heart hurts for widows, single mothers, and fatherless children. It hurts to see so much pain. You now have everyone on here who will happily talk to you, I as well. Like I said, you are not alone. I had a similar growing up as for the name of roughsoul. I had rough patches and seasons of doubt/sin.

This world is cold without God. Our perspective changes once we are one mind in Christ. After being whipped, it was the apostles who were singing and praising God. Living in a cold world but not of the world spiritually. This is the difference between joy and happiness. Joy may not always be in situations of happiness.

Very awesome to be baptized. This is a wonderful step in a mature faith.

 

[neverhopeless911]

No problem. My heart hurts for widows, single mothers, and fatherless children. It hurts to see so much pain. You now have everyone on here who will happily talk to you, I as well. Like I said, you are not alone. I had a similar growing up as for the name of roughsoul. I had rough patches and seasons of doubt/sin.

This world is cold without God. Our perspective changes once we are one mind in Christ. After being whipped, it was the apostles who were singing and praising God. Living in a cold world but not of the world spiritually. This is the difference between joy and happiness. Joy may not always be in situations of happiness.

Very awesome to be baptized. This is a wonderful step in a mature faith.

Same. My heart hurts for me and my children and this unborn baby who I’m sure can feel my sadness and my pain in there 😢 thank you, I’m sorry you’ve been through your own pain but you are here and you have overcame and have endured, by the looks of it, turned out pretty amazing. I just want to experience Gods peace and I feel like I try so hard to do right but I fail him. Sometimes I don’t even feel worthy of his love and Grace.

 

[Roughsoul1991]

Same. My heart hurts for me and my children and this unborn baby who I’m sure can feel my sadness and my pain in there 😢 thank you, I’m sorry you’ve been through your own pain but you are here and you have overcame and have endured, by the looks of it, turned out pretty amazing. I just want to experience Gods peace and I feel like I try so hard to do right but I fail him. Sometimes I don’t even feel worthy of his love and Grace.

Remember it isn't your circumstances that are of God's will. God's will for marriage is what God wants to see. Broken families are out of God's design but not without God. God will still work within those homes.

Our rough patches often like a forge helps shape us. We move from brittle to strong. We will not bend or break. But it takes trials through fire to reach this point.

Your children are a blessing despite how they came to be in the world. And you hold the awesome title as mom.

We try but fail. We do good and occasionally we fall. But we need not to lose our sight in this matter. We essentially are never worthy of God's grace and love but that is the point of grace and true love. Jesus died for us while we were still sinners. We are now seen as righteous through Christ. God sees you through Christ. Our sin now knocks us out of alignment with God. Hurts our relationship with God. Not on God's behalf but our human nature still battles between sin and morality.

 

[Live4Him]

At this point I don’t think so although he claims it and he has stated he’s been baptized for a long time too i get the feeling he wants the best of both worlds, he likes to drink to the point of getting drunk and go out and on sundays he wants to do church 😔 he gets mad at me bc I question his relationship w God due to his actions and I don’t mean to judge him I just believe he needs to really get closer to the Lord... I feel that if the Holy Spirit truly lived in him he wouldn’t treat me how he does. It breaks my heart. I have prayed so much for us and I’m starting to think I’m only wasting my time. I’m a hard worker, I have been a single mom before I met him and have always been independent I’ve struggled all by myself I have worked hard to buy my own home I have a good career i don’t go out I don’t drink or party like I used to, I don’t disrespect him in ANY way I just don’t get why he can’t get it together for our family.

Hi.

I can tell you with certainty that your boyfriend is not a Christian. No Christian man would ever treat a woman (especially a pregnant one) that way or have such a disregard for a child.

I'm happy to see that you're going to get baptized, and, although I feel at a loss for words as far as advice is concerned, I have already begun to pray for you.

God's grace is sufficient.

I don't know exactly how he'll minister it to you, but I'm praying that he does.

 

[neverhopeless911]

Hi.

I can tell you with certainty that your boyfriend is not a Christian. No Christian man would ever treat a woman (especially a pregnant one) that way or have such a disregard for a child.

I'm happy to see that you're going to get baptized, and, although I feel at a loss for words as far as advice is concerned, I have already begun to pray for you.

God's grace is sufficient.

I don't know exactly how he'll minister it to you, but I'm praying that he does.

Thank you, it’s true I feel the same way you think. And although I know that nobody is perfect and I am no one to judge him it’s just hard to accept the reality of all of this.
Your prayers mean everything to me right now because it is honestly the only thing keeping me going right now. I need his strength his wisdom and discernment to get me through this. Thank you for taking your time to read my post, I know it was long..

 

[Live4Him]

Thank you, it’s true I feel the same way you think. And although I know that nobody is perfect and I am no one to judge him it’s just hard to accept the reality of all of this.
Your prayers mean everything to me right now because it is honestly the only thing keeping me going right now. I need his strength his wisdom and discernment to get me through this. Thank you for taking your time to read my post, I know it was long..

If it's of any consolation to you at all, I can honestly say that the worst times I have ever had to endure (and there have been a lot) are the times in which God's grace was not only the most evident, but also the times when I grew the most spiritually. I fully expect that the same will be true for you as well.

It's my pleasure to pray for you.

 

[GaryA]

I just don’t get why he can’t get it together for our family.

Whether saved or lost, he is in a spiritual battle - at war with himself - wrestling with conviction and whatever he is searching for that he thinks will bring him "happiness" in his life - while not realizing and appreciating what he has - and refusing to "man up" and accept the responsibility that goes with it.

At the moment, my best advice to you is as follows...

Do not sell the house - or do anything that will undermine the stability of the livelihood of you and your children.

Do not allow him to move [back] in - ever again - unless-and-until you are married to him first.

Do not have sex with him - ever again - unless-and-until you are married to him first.

(Needless to say, do not have sex with anyone until after you marry.)

Get just as close to God as you can.

If you want to show God that you are sincere about doing things His way - you need to make up your mind today - to do these things - without fail - never wavering - "no matter what" - starting now...

I will pray for [all of] you.

 

[neverhopeless911]

If it's of any consolation to you at all, I can honestly say that the worst times I have ever had to endure (and there have been a lot) are the times in which God's grace was not only the most evident, but also the times when I grew the most spiritually. I fully expect that the same will be true for you as well.

It's my pleasure to pray for you.

I pray that you are right and that it may be the same for me. Ultimately I trust Gods plan for my life and I leave it all in his hands. I’m so glad somehow I ended up on this forum. I know some ppl will judge my post and throw my sins in my face and the fact that I’m not married, but God knows my heart and he knows it’s been my desire to serve him and do right by him, unfortunately the man I thought I wanted to marry didn’t have the same vision as me. I appreciate those who don’t judge me for this.

 

[neverhopeless911]

Whether saved or lost, he is in a spiritual battle - at war with himself - wrestling with conviction and whatever he is searching for that he thinks will bring him "happiness" in his life - while not realizing and appreciating what he has - and refusing to "man up" and accept the responsibility that goes with it.

At the moment, my best advice to you is as follows...

Do not sell the house - or do anything that will undermine the stability of the livelihood of you and your children.

Do not allow him to move [back] in - ever again - unless-and-until you are married to him first.

Do not have sex with him - ever again - unless-and-until you are married to him first.

(Needless to say, do not have sex with anyone until after you marry.)

Get just as close to God as you can.

If you want to show God that you are sincere about doing things His way - you need to make up your mind today - to do these things - without fail - never wavering - "no matter what" - starting now...

I love this, because it makes perfect and COMPLETE sense to me! This has been something heavy on my mind and heart and I feel a strong conviction that this is exactly what I need to do.

 

[neverhopeless911]

Whether saved or lost, he is in a spiritual battle - at war with himself - wrestling with conviction and whatever he is searching for that he thinks will bring him "happiness" in his life - while not realizing and appreciating what he has - and refusing to "man up" and accept the responsibility that goes with it.

At the moment, my best advice to you is as follows...

Do not sell the house - or do anything that will undermine the stability of the livelihood of you and your children.

Do not allow him to move [back] in - ever again - unless-and-until you are married to him first.

Do not have sex with him - ever again - unless-and-until you are married to him first.

(Needless to say, do not have sex with anyone until after you marry.)

Get just as close to God as you can.

If you want to show God that you are sincere about doing things His way - you need to make up your mind today - to do these things - without fail - never wavering - "no matter what" - starting now...

I will pray for [all of] you.

I guess I would have never been able to do this if he hadn’t left me once again... thank you.....,I can’t thank you enough.

 

[GaryA]

I love this, because it makes perfect and COMPLETE sense to me! This has been something heavy on my mind and heart and I feel a strong conviction that this is exactly what I need to do.

I guess I would have never been able to do this if he hadn’t left me once again... thank you.....,I can’t thank you enough.

The main thing for now is - you get you "on track" [with God] and let God work out the rest. Trust Him completely to work out what is best for you.

(And I am not "judging" you in any way.)

 

[GaryA]

I can’t thank you enough.

Just thank God - any 'credit' belongs to Him anyway...

(But, I am certainly happy - and encouraged - if anything I might say is beneficial.)

 

[neverhopeless911]

The main thing for now is - you get you "on track" [with God] and let God work out the rest. Trust Him completely to work out what is best for you.

(And I am not "judging" you in any way.)

Amen. My life is in his hands. I don’t feel judged by you, I appreciate the transparency and you told me exactly what I needed to hear something that was already on my heart...