I understand why there is injustice in the world.
I understand why God allows it.
But yesterday I heard a horrific story about a 4 year old girl who was beaten to death on her birthday by her parents.
The description of her injuries made me sick to my stomach. I haven't stopped crying for 2 days. I've been begging God for peace. It comes, but it's fleeting. I can't stop thinking about it. I did a search online to see if I could find out more about the story--maybe get some closure... or something. I didn't find her story, but I found story after story of other children... and all I could think was "Why God? Why?"
I've been begging God to take this sadness and pain away from me. He reminded me that this is only a glimmer of how His heart feels. He was there when the little girl died. He saw it all, and He knows how it feels. But still I begged him, "Please! Take this from me, it's too much for me to bear."
As I was talking with Him, I said something that made me realize that it was no accident I heard this story and was so moved by it. I said, "Am I just begging you to take this pain away from me so I can go back to being complacent in my comfortable life?" Wow... That's absolutely true. And I don't think I'm ok with that.
Then He reminded me that long ago I wanted to adopt children. I've given up on that dream since I had my own daughter, and thousands and thousands of dollars in student loans--I will never be able to afford a house. "What does that matter?" He said. "I can afford a house for you. But I'm not going to let you forget about your dream. After all, I'm the one who gave it to you."
I'm certainly not okay with what happened to that little girl, or those thousands of other little babies and children who die at the hands of their parents every year, but for the first time in days I have peace. And purpose.
I understand why God allows it.
But yesterday I heard a horrific story about a 4 year old girl who was beaten to death on her birthday by her parents.
The description of her injuries made me sick to my stomach. I haven't stopped crying for 2 days. I've been begging God for peace. It comes, but it's fleeting. I can't stop thinking about it. I did a search online to see if I could find out more about the story--maybe get some closure... or something. I didn't find her story, but I found story after story of other children... and all I could think was "Why God? Why?"
I've been begging God to take this sadness and pain away from me. He reminded me that this is only a glimmer of how His heart feels. He was there when the little girl died. He saw it all, and He knows how it feels. But still I begged him, "Please! Take this from me, it's too much for me to bear."
As I was talking with Him, I said something that made me realize that it was no accident I heard this story and was so moved by it. I said, "Am I just begging you to take this pain away from me so I can go back to being complacent in my comfortable life?" Wow... That's absolutely true. And I don't think I'm ok with that.
Then He reminded me that long ago I wanted to adopt children. I've given up on that dream since I had my own daughter, and thousands and thousands of dollars in student loans--I will never be able to afford a house. "What does that matter?" He said. "I can afford a house for you. But I'm not going to let you forget about your dream. After all, I'm the one who gave it to you."
I'm certainly not okay with what happened to that little girl, or those thousands of other little babies and children who die at the hands of their parents every year, but for the first time in days I have peace. And purpose.