Feelings of... inadequacy?

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Crypto

Senior Member
Nov 14, 2009
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So I went to a wedding today of a girl that goes to my church. The families of the bride and groom are close and get along well and love each other and it was just a happy occasion. But in watching all the interaction I was hit with a strong feeling of inadequacy, like I would never feel really "accepted" by a girls family. It seems like with the last several girls I've been interested in for some reason her family didn't like me even though I hadn't done anything wrong and that no matter what I did they'd never accept me. Does anyone else have this problem? Or have any advice on how to work through this?
 
Oooooh yes, I have been hit with this several times. "You'll never be good enough for my baby boy!!" syndrome.

The thing is, you can't make someone like you. No matter how hard you try, you just can't. The only way for people to like and accept you is be yourself.

Acting nervous around parents some times makes them think you're very timid. Before you go meet a girl's family, try sitting down and praying with her to keep calm. I pray to myself before meeting parents to keep myself calm and to let my glory shine. It usually gives me peace in my heart and stomach (haha!)

Maybe them not liking you is also a sign from God that the girl you are with is not the one for you.

I hope that helps a little bit.
 
i was in high school at the time but my guys mom was TOTALLY against us. she would punish him if she found out that he was on the phone with me and she tried to set him up with a number of Hispanic girls (he was Hispanic and i'm black)

i wasn't Mexican so i wasn't good enough. even though both of my parents had better jobs then both of his and i'm most likely going more places then he is (even now) she never approved of me. so what ever about that lady. she was crazy. >_<
 
Crypto, do you pray for a mate? If so are you specific in your prayers? Why not add that to the list?

God please send me a future spouse who's family will love and accept me, and whom my family will love and accept.
 
YOU ARE MORE THAN A CONQUEROR

Title: Built on Love
Author: George W. Thompson

A little white mansion
Across the street from me
Two people are busy
Making it Home, you see.....

They're building a strong foundation
A foundation made of Love
No stronger foundation
Can be found
For it comes from Above.....

They work together every day
There's not much time for play
When Jackie and David get their home done
There's only one thing I can say.....

The house is built with Love
And I hope and pray the Lord Above
Will always keep it that way.....


So, you are saying the girl's family does not accept you, but she does. That is a conflict, especially if she is young and her mother is still forcing her to submit and obey her and the dad. She will not have alot of freedom and leeway to be friends or interact with you.

If it is uncomfortable or not working out, it is just not the right one, maybe there is more maturing and more changes that need to happen. But don't give up. How many of us are on this earth, millions? billions? There has to be one for you, and possibly even one whose family accepts you and everything goes smoothly. It all works better that way, because in the end, what are problems? Problems created just for the sake of having problems, is not from God, but problems that exist not from evil but just from life, well, they are to be dealth with and overcome.

Remember we are all living at this moment.

God Bless
 
So I went to a wedding today of a girl that goes to my church. The families of the bride and groom are close and get along well and love each other and it was just a happy occasion. But in watching all the interaction I was hit with a strong feeling of inadequacy, like I would never feel really "accepted" by a girls family. It seems like with the last several girls I've been interested in for some reason her family didn't like me even though I hadn't done anything wrong and that no matter what I did they'd never accept me. Does anyone else have this problem? Or have any advice on how to work through this?

Don't worry too much about this. Most guys don't get accepted anyway, at least not right away, unless you make a lot of money or something. Its just the way it is. If she really loves you and you hold on, her parents will most likely come around because most parents just want their daughters to be happy.