Pressure to have sex

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Char12345

Guest
#1
#1
As a single woman, I have decided to quit being pressured into having sex because the guy says that he cannot wait. I have never met a Christian man, let alone any man that thinks it's okay to wait. I have been told that maybe they can wait awhile, but not forever, after all they are grown men who have had sex already and cannot go back to not having sex with someone they are attracted to. Men and women alike have been so accustomed to movies and television and books with the characters jumping into bed so quickly. No one seems to think sex is something more than just taking care of a physical need.

I just broke off a potential relationship today with a man because he made it clear that he doesn't want to wait and take it slow. I'm recently divorced and don't want to jump into a relationship that this man says basically his physical needs come first.

I'm really sad and disappointed that he turned out that way. At least he was honest...

Does anyone want to wait before jumping into bed anymore????
 
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shawny_boy

Guest
#2
#2
I understand what youre going through, I find I am getting alot of ridicule because I am waiting till I am married. People find it even stranger that a guy is waiting till marriage. The point im getting at is that there is someone out there with the same morals as you. Dont compremise your morals to suit someone else. God bless ;)
 
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djness

Guest
#3
#3
Char12345 said:
As a single woman, I have decided to quit being pressured into having sex because the guy says that he cannot wait. I have never met a Christian man, let alone any man that thinks it's okay to wait. I have been told that maybe they can wait awhile, but not forever, after all they are grown men who have had sex already and cannot go back to not having sex with someone they are attracted to. Men and women alike have been so accustomed to movies and television and books with the characters jumping into bed so quickly. No one seems to think sex is something more than just taking care of a physical need.

I just broke off a potential relationship today with a man because he made it clear that he doesn't want to wait and take it slow. I'm recently divorced and don't want to jump into a relationship that this man says basically his physical needs come first.

I'm really sad and disappointed that he turned out that way. At least he was honest...

Does anyone want to wait before jumping into bed anymore????
Click to expand...
In the movie Waterworld, this women and her kid are with kevin costner on a boat and they are starving, he has some food. So the women approaches him and shes like, ill let you have me , if you will give the child some food. He checks her out and then pushes her aside and give the kid some food and then says to her "Have some self respect."

The biggest problem is that we have been sold a lie that being physical is the same as loving somone we like. It's not.


What you did was exactly right, His physical needs do not come first. Your obligation to God and to purity come first.
And ya, there are some people out there who are not jumping into bed with others.
 
X

xJoe

Guest
#4
#4
I made a commitment to wait till marriage.
If you want a God blessed marriage then you should do it the way God says or you miss the entire purpose whatsoever.
 
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Forlorn-Hope

Banned
#5
May 4, 2011
627
3
0
#5
It depends on what sort of relationship it is the person themselves and how Im feeling at the time xD
 
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NukePooch

Guest
#6
#6
The problem is that modern society promotes childlike behavior. Young children see a toy they want, and go over and take it. A properly adjusted older child realizes that they don't get to have something just because they want it.
Real men learn how to control themselves (and yes, this can take some time, but keep trying). Unfortunately, a lot of men never grow up...

As far as being a man and waiting...35 years old and counting here.
 
Mrdll

Mrdll

Senior Member
#7
Jan 15, 2011
127
5
0
#7
Wow! You almost through us all into a pot because of a few men that you have known. It's been almost ten years I've been alone and yes I have physical needs just like anyone else, including you and other women. However I'm not jumping in with anyone. I would much rather have a companion to share my life with than a body to enjoy for a few moments. A relationship is much more than sex.

I miss having someone to talk to and to just sit and cuddle and laugh and cry. To share my day with and her with me. A relationship from the heart can be much more satisfying than any sex ever was. Please don't judge all men because of a few! Our society seems to do that in all realms. Because of a few, they are all rotten! I disagree! Also, You might consider looking at women too (not for sex or relationship) but as they to do the same thing. I have known some who I had to push away because they wanted to jump into the sack! It's not just men! The other problem is, when you do find the right one, don't hold back from him, after marriage that is. I have been married twice. Both times, after a while, she would keep herself from me. I am not saying that we should have it every day, however we all have needs and we as husband and wife should take care of each other. When you marry a man you are giving yourself to him just as he is giving himself to to you, heart soul and mind.

My aunt and uncle were married for 42 years. In that time, by his own words, they were apart from each other for "one" day. When my aunt passed away, my uncle soon followed. 30 days later he too passed away. He was in perfect health, other than age there was nothing wrong with him. All he had was a broken and lonely heart from her not being there anymore. He laid down in his bed and died one night. That is a relationship I would want but have never found, and may never find. They loved each other with heart soul and mind. They were one! That is the relationship Jesus wants with us!

Please, please, please do not judge all men because of one man, and before you do look at yourself. Were you a part of the problem? Not saying you were, just sayin, "No one is perfect"! God bless, hope you don't through a frying pan at me and I do hope that you can find a man who will love you the way you deserve to be loved! God Bless!
 
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thimsrebma

Guest
#8
#8
Char, I find what you are saying to be true as well. There are som many Christians out there that either think its okay to have sex or who know its not okay but still cant control themselves. I have met very few Christian men that are celibate. I do know however, there are some and we dont wanna lump them all into a group. I think its all about a mind change.

Personally, I do have a sexual past, but on the day I gave myself to Christ, I vowed to Him, me and my future spouse, even though I dont know who he is, that I would never give myself to anyone. I also prayed for God to take away the memory of my past experiences so it would be a completely new thing for us. And He has done that for me. It is possible for people who have had sex in the past to not be so controlled by sexual urges. But yu have to pray about it and stand by that decision.
 
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andrew12

Guest
#9
#9
i am also commited to wait till marriage and i feel proud of it ..dont allow the world to make you leave God´s principles.honestly The world tells you do this do that and then critizice you.and you can see that the world principles always fail and finish bad..
 
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Rissa77

Guest
#10
#10
Don't give up hope. There are guys out there who have integrity and will make it straight before the first date that they will wait til marriage. There are even guys out there that desire a no-touch relationship to stay focused and abstain from temptation. :)
 
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Char12345

Guest
#11
#11
Thanks everyone for your replies. It's nice to know that there are people who are waiting or think that it is wise not to jump in bed just because it's the thing to do. For those that think I was judging all men to be this way, I wasn't because I know that there are some out there hidden that believe in waiting. I'm just saying that I haven't met anyone yet that feels that way and it's frustrating. I also know that there are women to just want sex and that's it.

To Mrdll: I know I am not perfect but this guy said he knew enough about me (meaning that we had a few things in common) that he was attracted and therefore wanted a physical relationship right off the bat. I told him I wanted to go slow and get to know each other better and he said that's okay, but I won't really want to see you much unless we're having sex. That's why I walked. I don't see where I did anything wrong. He made me feel cheap and that his primary goal was to get in bed.
 
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princessbella

Guest
#12
#12
Char i dont think you did the wrong thing, if the guys primary goal was sex and not you as a person and he quite eaasily walked away when he didnt get it strait away, is bound to make you feel like that.. I really understand what your saying. im sorry you felt cheapened
 
jonathanbchristian

jonathanbchristian

Banned
#13
Feb 16, 2011
2,957
24
0
#13
I think it's mutual that some men and some women don't wait. It takes two! You should always wait to be married. For the record I know alot of people who waited till marriage and alo of forgiven people who would never have sex outside of marraige. I believe it is important to not be alone with the oppoisite sex. Christians should date public!
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#14
#14
You made the right choice, Char. I'm sure it wasn't easy, but it was right. If doing the right thing was the easy thing, more people would be doing the right thing.
 
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VansRComfy11

Guest
#15
#15
Nearly 27 year old virgin from The Big Apple. We got every kind of broad here ... all shapes, sizes, and colors... and God has kept me pure this long. Blessed be His name.
 
Pheonix

Pheonix

Senior Member
#16
Jan 17, 2007
578
7
18
#16
Well Char, you have now. I've been waiting for 28 years and still haven't found the right woman
 
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emmajade

Guest
#17
#17
You did the right thing. Being alone or breaking up hurts, for sure. But, you would feel just as lonely and unloved, or even more so, if you gave in knowing he didn't love you just for who you are. You wouldn't have gained a thing except a bunch of heart break. Stay strong. The right one will know you are worth waiting for. So think of it as a true love test, and he failed it. Hugs.
 
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demian

Guest
#18
#18
God loves you guys. Pre marital sex is just wrong. It hurts peoples hearts, True love doesn't need sex
 
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thimsrebma

Guest
#19
#19
VansRComfy11 said:
Nearly 27 year old virgin from The Big Apple. We got every kind of broad here ... all shapes, sizes, and colors... and God has kept me pure this long. Blessed be His name.
Click to expand...

Just to let you know, the term "broad" is generally seen as a derogatory name.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#20
Aug 2, 2009
24,653
4,316
113
#20
This thread reminds me of the George Michaels song.
 
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