The dumping ground
- Thread starter Lanolin
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well other people might call it dumping their problems its just a figure of speech, others call it unburdening.
In christian circles we tend to refer to it as 'sharing' because there is more of an exchange and its a bit more equal. Dumping kind of infers that a person just wants to be rid of a problem rather than have help solving it. I think the verse in my bible talks about 'bearing' one anothers burdens not dumping them.
I think of people who ask for my help and am happy to give it but there are others who are unreasonable and ask for favours or whine about things all the time. They arent really asking for help, they are just wanting you to do whatever it is they dont want to do.
In christian circles we tend to refer to it as 'sharing' because there is more of an exchange and its a bit more equal. Dumping kind of infers that a person just wants to be rid of a problem rather than have help solving it. I think the verse in my bible talks about 'bearing' one anothers burdens not dumping them.
I think of people who ask for my help and am happy to give it but there are others who are unreasonable and ask for favours or whine about things all the time. They arent really asking for help, they are just wanting you to do whatever it is they dont want to do.
You probably don't care at all, but you've just landed onto my ignore list. Please . . . please don't do this to anyone else. Be nice and kind to others . . . especially Christian brothers and sisters.
Demi is a long time member of the forum in good standing... and she did not do anything to you. She tried to correct a misunderstanding and you (for some reason I still can't decipher) got offended about it.
I'm still not sure why you're upset, but she did nothing to you. I read the posts. I didn't see a single thing.
Do yourself a favor and take her off ignore. Ignore won't hurt her a bit, but you'll miss her posts in the future. And trust me, you really don't want that.
Some people just like to vent and or discuss their problems with no intention of changing anything, so i just accept it for what it is. You only become a dumping ground when you start to take it as your responsibility to offer them advice that they won't listen to.
true...maybe give an example though?
I was thinking of this feeling of being a dumping ground (literally) when a friend txted/called me that someone, they had no idea who had, left an empty garden waste bin on their driveway or berm for three weeks, and then suggested that I might like it for the community garden. Im like have you tried to contact the garden companies name on the bin? Or asked all your neighbours whos it might be?
We dont need a rubbish bin in the garden. We actually use everything our garden. Plus, if I took this waste bin the other gardeners might think that its someone elses?!
She said, oh but a they are a new one that costs hundred of dollars.
I said exactly, you could sell it on trade me. and she was like ?!
Of course its not mine so why would I take it.
lol
Sure, i have a friend who likes to gamble because in his mind he thinks hes going to hit it big and walk away every time and never come back. The funny part is he has made it big a few times but he always comes back chasing the high and he ends up getting cleaned for everything every time.
Every time he gets cleaned or loses big he comes around with the same sad story. In the past i told him to just leave gambling alone but he doesn't listen so im basically detached, got nothing really to say so i just let him vent about his losses. It's not my responsibility to keep him away from gambling. I don't mind helping people with things but they have to want it more than i do.
And yea, she should sell the bin, 3 weeks and nobody came to get it = free money times.
GOOWZ you gave me an idea
sell your problems instead of dumping them on someone else.
It could be the next bestselling misery memoir or top40 hit!
At least the buyers then want to listen to your problems, or even own them.
I dunno. I sure there are people who are like 'free problems, come take them'. When they the ones who shouldnt be surprised when nobody wants them...?! Unless they are rich peoples problems.
Like I have so much pizza, Im just going to give it all away. Cos if I eat too much I will explode. Who wants to solve my problem?
sell your problems instead of dumping them on someone else.
It could be the next bestselling misery memoir or top40 hit!
At least the buyers then want to listen to your problems, or even own them.
I dunno. I sure there are people who are like 'free problems, come take them'. When they the ones who shouldnt be surprised when nobody wants them...?! Unless they are rich peoples problems.
Like I have so much pizza, Im just going to give it all away. Cos if I eat too much I will explode. Who wants to solve my problem?
I doubt it would work. "Christians" of today don't lift a finger to help even their own brethren.
?
wonder what you mean about that....
I sometimes thought it was brothers dont help out sisters, only if they marry them, and expect the wives to always be the helpers. Even when the husbands supposedly have all the strength, they are actually the weak ones.
I know too many wives who just get exhausted by all the demands placed on them while the husbands arent expected to do 'menial' things like housework and laundry and cooking.
heres one thing I noticed...when men invent things they sometimes dont think about how much extra work it creates for women.
for example. the handwringer washing machine. I saw a man wax nostalalgic for this appliance while women saw it as a piece of junk that created more work (and problems) when doing laundry tied to a machine all day.
the man was like what a great machine but the woman was like thank God we dont use those anymore and machines can now do spin dry.
for example. the handwringer washing machine. I saw a man wax nostalalgic for this appliance while women saw it as a piece of junk that created more work (and problems) when doing laundry tied to a machine all day.
the man was like what a great machine but the woman was like thank God we dont use those anymore and machines can now do spin dry.
My "story" is less than pathetic in terms of how my "christian" family treats each other. My family has an elder, missionaries, preacher, preachers daughter, preachers wife, a grand-dad that was influential with the Penial Mission in Seattle, Wa, yet they possess no love in their hearts.
I'm sure that your circle of friends and family are normal, but mine are/were not. They're not a part of my life any longer.
Luke 12:53 NKJV - "Father will be divided against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against her daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law."
These things are to be expected for the True Christian, that he/she would be hated even by their own family members. Yep . . . Scripture seems to be fulfilled within my family on a regular basis. No love. No forgiveness. No Grace. No Compassion. No understanding. And . . . these people would all tell you that they possess the "favor of the Lord."
Sure.
That why, in my home, women are encouraged to speak freely and to consider themselves my equal. (She did divorce me . . . so?!)
thats terrible 2nd timothy it sounds like your family were involved in the more cultish sects. A lot of people call themselves christian but dont act like it, or anything that would seem like they follow Jesus.
Unfortunately this dumping a load on others seems to pick on the true christians as the ones to bear all the burdens. Its not just literal childbearing for the women, but other things as well.
I was driving up north last weekend when I saw that up from the city they were doing earthworks for a new landfill. It was my city had run out or filled up their own with rubbish and so they had to make ANOTHER one near another town. Of course this smaller town did not want their town near a new land filled with my big cities extra rubbish.
Unfortunately this dumping a load on others seems to pick on the true christians as the ones to bear all the burdens. Its not just literal childbearing for the women, but other things as well.
I was driving up north last weekend when I saw that up from the city they were doing earthworks for a new landfill. It was my city had run out or filled up their own with rubbish and so they had to make ANOTHER one near another town. Of course this smaller town did not want their town near a new land filled with my big cities extra rubbish.
I can see why you'd think that . . . makes perfect sense. Unfortunately, we're talking about the average, garden-variety "christian" you'd find in any non-denom, presbyterian, baptist . . . you know, all the standards. I've attended many, many churches, but unfortunately, all I saw was corruption, and I would know because I was involved with that corruption (of the sexual kind). I was physically involved with the worship leader of one church . . . our second date was sexual and the following morning, dressed in several hundred dollars of clothing, I watch this lady whom I don't think I even knew her last name, was waving her hands in the air as she led the entire church in worship . . . as if she hadn't just done what she had done with me. Stunned, I simply stood above my metal chair, shocked at this woman's arms waving upward towards Christ . . . I was disgusted myself and couldn't even sing. I was utter trash and I knew it.
At a younger age, I had another incident that was similar, with a woman who sang in our worship team at another church. I was the drummer for two years straight. She was in her forties and I was a 26-year-old virgin absolutely afraid to eat the meal mounted on my plate . . . so I settled with an all-night fest of tenderness on the couch. It was wrong . . . what we were doing was absolutely wrong.
Lanolin, I could go on and on and on and on . . . and after listening to me for maybe two for three days, you'd know that this life of mine is nothing short of a miracle. All that I have seen, experienced, been a part of, and led others into horrible sin . . . it could have only been this way if not led down this path . . . something sort of like an Ultra-Like Job. Ultimately, and now soon to be 54 years old, the decades of evidence, unfortunately, exists that Truly caring Christians are most rare. What type of person am I referring to? Check it out . . .
John 15:13 NKJV - 13 "Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends.
1 John 3:16 NKJV - 16 By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down [our] lives for the brethren.
About 4.5 years ago, I was threatened to be murder by mutilation/dismemberment. To make a long story short, myself and the 79-year-old who was also to be dismembered (a man who was like my father), I was willing to be killed by this young demon-possessed boy who had enslaved my "father." As I gave my life to this man, to risk it . . . sacrifice it so that he might live . . . I was shocked to find that no one cared about all that had just taken place. What I found was that no one wanted to discuss their role in why and how this man, the man who was like my "father" was nearly murdered. There were several key players with massive roles in allowing this elderly man to become enslaved . . . I know this because I led the pack of six people. I was guilty. But . . . I took responsibility for what I had done; for not acting decades prior when I knew that I needed to . . . so as to prevent the kind of circumstance that this elderly man was in at that time.
As I took responsibility (as a True Christian will), never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that no one would follow my example. I mean, to me . . . being responsible for sins that hurt others is so, so, so easy. But no one ever did . . . and in fact, I ultimately found out that none of those people, both sides of my bio family and the family of this elderly man all want nothing to do with me. All former friends are gone . . . and not all at their choice . . . but mostly of mine. The bottom line is that I found out that these "christians" . . . my own family and friends . . . did not care if I were dead or alive to the degree that they could actually speak with me to this day.
I hope that I don't sound like I'm whining. I'm not. In fact, my life has been so horrible; so miserable, that I've actually learned to become unimpressed by it any longer, and it doesn't determine anything within me. I'm over it all and am actually incredibly grateful. And again, this story should not be a surprise to anyone, for this is much of the life that Jesus promises will be given to those who follow Him. Once I realized that my life was taking on a similar image to what we might find in the Bible . . . that was it . . . and I became extremely thankful and grateful. I am so stinkin' lucky!
You know this . . . God loves the poor and the oppressed. Well, if a "christian" is a True Christian, they too will love the poor and oppressed, and they will act when they see it!
Too all: we should not be sad if our lives are a difficult struggle where it seems like we've never had more than a couple of weeks of peace at a time. Jesus suffered, so His True children will also struggle. We know these things because we know our Bible. Don't be ashamed of hardship, but instead, do your best to pay no mind to it, knowing that the Lord is testing you; refining you, and turning you into the kind of person that can assist many people regarding a plethora of different issues. When we endure such struggles, we arrive on the other side ready and waiting . . . stronger than ever before . . . ready and waiting to tackle anything. Absolutely anything.
Lanolin . . . what I have described above, I have never witnessed this in another human. I hope that one day I might find someone that had been touched by the Power of God, perhaps in a way as that of Saul on the Damascus Road. Yes, the Lord is still touching people in a most Powerful and convincing way that causes people to turn and change for the full of their lives.
So no . . . no cultish sects or cults . . . just behavior from the average American "church." My report sucks, but it is what it is and I can't change it. I am so thankful!