Dear Ladies: You Can’t Custom Order A Husband Like You Can A Starbucks Drink

[wisebeardman]

I remember in high school the 'in crowd' girls would tell the boys they didnt want to go out with 'you can't afford me'

I actually had a girl tell me that when I was like 13/14'ish she said it very loudly... my reply was "oh sorry I don't mess with truck stop prostitutes." also said very loudly.... things did not end well for her.

She learned one lesson, don't try and dog on someone who will go nuclear first strike.

 

[wisebeardman]

I'm just going to throw in here that too often we approach the decision of who to marry as looking for a completed project rather than a work in progress. Maybe it's not so much about what someone's life is now as about the trajectory for life that they're setting themselves on ( maybe that matters with age as you have a whole lot more growth and development time at 20 than you do at 60 or 70).

Also people forget things can change very quick. Jan 2019 I had pretty much everything. place to live. some money come in here and there. end of Jan 2019 fire, things burned, lost everything and some months later heart attack, so now i have nothing and can't really rebuild cause i am 10% of what I used to be. my only hope to ever have anything ever again is the lotto and the lotto is a scam.

 

[Lynx]

What happens when they don’t get their way?

Nobody will ever know. Their husbands are too meek and passive to ever put the theory to the test.

Just for speculation, I would guess Thunderbolts and lightning would happen.

 

[Lanolin]

In many places, it is not illegal to view porn. What, exactly, would you report?

possesion of porn, sexual assault, paedophilia, sex without consent. harassment, predator behaviour. if its a minor, soliciting, sexual exploitation...harrasment particularly of children under 18. Inappropriate beahviour.

In many workplaces it is ILLEGAL. Workers have a right to be safe from sexual harm.
Many workplaces also have police vetting.

 

[Lanolin]

I actually had a girl tell me that when I was like 13/14'ish she said it very loudly... my reply was "oh sorry I don't mess with truck stop prostitutes." also said very loudly.... things did not end well for her.

She learned one lesson, don't try and dog on someone who will go nuclear first strike.

boys would often tell girls they didnt like that they were 2 bucks a f---

 

[Lanolin]

anybody read Pride and prejudice...of course you have its Jane Austen. What female hasnt.

in the story, set in the regency era 5 sisters have to get married otherwise they lose their estate. They dont have any brothers. The eldest, Lizzie, doesnt like elgiible bachelor Darcy as she thinks hes too proud. Well she seems to changes her mind soon when he does something chivalrous, but actually its not that. Its because she sees how huge HIS estate is. LOL

 

[cinder]

possesion of porn, sexual assault, paedophilia, sex without consent. harassment, predator behaviour. if its a minor, soliciting, sexual exploitation...harrasment particularly of children under 18. Inappropriate beahviour.

In many workplaces it is ILLEGAL. Workers have a right to be safe from sexual harm.
Many workplaces also have police vetting.

Possesion of porn isn't illegal (unless it's child porn, but unless the participants are prepubescent it can be difficult to tell if that woman is over 18 or not ( people mistook me for 18 when I was 13 and I wasn't even trying to look older) though most of those other things are. Then again you have to prove things like harassment and that can be difficult to do if you don't keep good notes or have recordings or something as proof. No one is arguing porn is good; but as it isn't criminal there isn't much the police can do.

As for the workplaces, most places you have a policy of not using work internet or computers to look at inappropriate materials and a lot of them have some sort of firewall and filter to make sure of it. But if I understood one of the network manager gals at work, that's as much because the business can be sued by an employee for having an "unsafe" evironment as it is concern for the workers. Personally I've always thought that if you couldn't wait till after work to look at your porn you had bigger issues. So if I understand things correctly you can get fired for looking at porn at work but it's not a crime so you can't be arrested. And since it isn't a crime, porn use won't show on any police background check.

 

[Lanolin]

Possesion of porn isn't illegal (unless it's child porn, but unless the participants are prepubescent it can be difficult to tell if that woman is over 18 or not ( people mistook me for 18 when I was 13 and I wasn't even trying to look older) though most of those other things are. Then again you have to prove things like harassment and that can be difficult to do if you don't keep good notes or have recordings or something as proof. No one is arguing porn is good; but as it isn't criminal there isn't much the police can do.

As for the workplaces, most places you have a policy of not using work internet or computers to look at inappropriate materials and a lot of them have some sort of firewall and filter to make sure of it. But if I understood one of the network manager gals at work, that's as much because the business can be sued by an employee for having an "unsafe" evironment as it is concern for the workers. Personally I've always thought that if you couldn't wait till after work to look at your porn you had bigger issues. So if I understand things correctly you can get fired for looking at porn at work but it's not a crime so you can't be arrested. And since it isn't a crime, porn use won't show on any police background check.

there is a lot of child porn out there
im just saying.

its criminal. the porn industry is built on getting underage or girls without consent. Mostly forced into it, even over age.

Dont be naive.

 

[Lanolin]

dont keep notes or recordings?
wot?
porn is a recording of sexual abuse!nYou think the people who do it are mARRIED?

 

[Lanolin]

read this article

interesting. porn is related to sexual abuse . Just call it what it is. Its not like anyone WANTS to do it.

https://ndsmcobserver.com/2017/10/wrap-week-lecture/

 

[Lanolin]

There are indecency laws and restrictions on pornography, defintiely there is a lot of illegal porn out there...violent, cruel and underage. Thing is how do you police it if you dont bother reporting it or turn blind eye because the content is hidden maybe you dont see it there but it will be somewhere else on the web or the magazine or whatever.

whatever it is, it mostly demeans and degrades women of whatever age, seeing them as solely sexual objects. Hello?!
besides its NOT YOUR WIFE your are looking at naked.

 

[Lynx]

What happens when they don’t get their way?

Nobody will ever know. Their husbands are too meek and passive to ever put the theory to the test.

Just for speculation, I would guess Thunderbolts and lightning would happen.

I should distinguish here... I have seen different kinds of meek, passive husbands.

I have seen the kind that is henpecked, browbeaten, submissive and nervous. He always looks like he's worried he will say something wrong and get berated again.

Then there's the kind I've seen who is complacent, content and at peace with the world. He is glad to leave all the decisions to his wife while he just tags along. He leads what looks like a very peaceful life.

 

[TheIndianGirl]

Porn is already normalized nowadays in X-rated movies/shows, so it would be impossible to find watching 18+ porn illegal. I watched a very popular drama series awhile ago, about corruption in the 1920s Atlantic City area, and there is a lot of nudity and porn (without the closeups) in that series. I also watched this drama series about brothels in 1700s London, a lot of nudity/porn there too. Even popular movies, such as Fast Times, American Pie, Fifty Shades are shown on cable TV and have porn in those movies.

 

[wisebeardman]

Porn is already normalized nowadays in X-rated movies/shows, so it would be impossible to find watching 18+ porn illegal. I watched a very popular drama series awhile ago, about corruption in the 1920s Atlantic City area, and there is a lot of nudity and porn (without the closeups) in that series. I also watched this drama series about brothels in 1700s London, a lot of nudity/porn there too. Even popular movies, such as Fast Times, American Pie, Fifty Shades are shown on cable TV and have porn in those movies.

of course it is "normalized" nowadays. that was the plan by the regressive to normalize immoral garbage. Just like how in the 80 into the 1990s they pushed and pushed the lgbt garbage to "normalize" it, and many of us said in the 90s it will be a slippery slope you normalize this now and in 20-25 years they will force normalize pedophilia. which is exactly what they are doing now.

 

[TheIndianGirl]

there is a lot of child porn out there
im just saying.

its criminal. the porn industry is built on getting underage or girls without consent. Mostly forced into it, even over age.

Dont be naive.

A lot of countries are fine with child sex (third world and even some European countries with low ages of consent)...child porn will naturally follow and would be available globally due to the internet.

 

[Lynx]

From women who have really high standards in a prospective spouse to whether child porn will be legalized...

Welcome to CC!

 

[Hungry]

I should distinguish here... I have seen different kinds of meek, passive husbands.

I have seen the kind that is henpecked, browbeaten, submissive and nervous. He always looks like he's worried he will say something wrong and get berated again.

Then there's the kind I've seen who is complacent, content and at peace with the world. He is glad to leave all the decisions to his wife while he just tags along. He leads what looks like a very peaceful life.

Neither is defined in the OP. I almost stepped in at McDonalds one time. Some lady was yelling at her husband, verbally assaulting him for not adequately controlling the kids. Poor guy looked like he needed a hug. I think he might have been happy if I told her the children were half as unruly as she was acting. However it might have backfired and she could have lost it on him even more for not defending her. There was no happy meal at that table.

 

[surfer14]

I used to have these conversations with my daughter. She'd give me this "perfectly reasonable" list of all these ridiculous requirements for any guy that might be interested in her. Not quite as bad as the OP list, but pretty bad. I used to patiently listen for her to get done and then say something like, "So you don't mind if he has a really hairy back and noxious breath?"

Women would be wise to spend more time making themselves into the type of woman that a good man would want rather than coming up with a bunch of dumb lists.

 

[Gideon300]

Ok, full disclaimer, I'm married. But I saw this post on my FB feed and it's getting a lot of feedback. So here is the article,


https://thefederalist.com/2021/05/0...der-a-husband-like-you-can-a-starbucks-drink/

Now when I was single I spent a lot of years traveling and really didn't think about everything I wanted in a man, other than being a Christian. It was a back burner thing for me. But within this article is a link to an article another woman posted "Single Ladies List." Now from the perspective of a married lady I had a chuckle that this. And I thought it's no wonder men are so confused about what women want, I think they are confused themselves. The list is huge, but I want to try and post some and start a discussion, for both sides, about expectations in marriage. I look forward to seeing the answers. Here we go...


Boo must be:


1. -Expressive of love and devotion and affirmation of me

2. -Emotionally expressive, romantic, demonstrative in gifts and gestures

3. -Fun to be around

4.-Confident but not arrogant or cocky or unhealthily charming/too flirtatious

5. -Not afraid to pursue me, or if he is, he still does diligently

6. -Quirky, non-boring sense of humor

7. -Present, not distracted

8. -Easy to be around

9. -Curiosity about me, to study and know and understand and best love me, an interest in where I’ve come from and what makes me me

10. -Unafraid to affirm and show affection

11. -Great listener

12. -Is clear about his priority of me

13. -Sensitive and aware

14. -Not an approval addict , -Not an attention addict

15. -Notices and pays attention to little things: dates, anniversaries, details, places that are significant to us and me and him

16. -Values my words and contributions to conversation

17.-Pays attention to me when with friends, wants to serve and be near

18.-Sentimental and soft-hearted

19.-Rugged and appreciates nature and beauty

20.-Writes notes and communicates love regularly

21. -Whimsical and cares about living a great story together

22, -Loves children, old people, friends, family, lingering

23. -Regularly shows me affection in various ways and reminds me he’s thinking of me

24. -Supportive always, even in disagreement

25. -Cares deeply about my wounds

26. -Nurtures, loves and promotes my voice literally and figuratively

27. -Recognizes and respects my physical limitations with great love and sympathy

28.-Cares about and prioritizes and sacrifices for my needs

29. --Cares about my experiences with romance, loss, sense of curse, feelings of worthlessness, knows and tends to wounds

30. -Hunger to understand my background influences and experiences

31. -Not patriarchal

32. -Great with money

33. -Willing/adventurous eater -Loves exploring -Loves eating out, enjoys little luxuries -Plans vacations and trips with and for me

34. -Loves to cook with me and for me



Ok, this even all her list, but these are some of the interesting things she posted. I'd like to hear your opinions on this.

Yes. American women especially are living in cuckoo land when it comes to relationship ideals. I read an article by a woman who gave up her matchmaking business because she found it impossible. Many men have given up dating as they are unable to meet women's demands and are rejecting female hypocrisy. Like wanting absolute equality except when it comes to paying for dinner.

Mark Gungor, the supreme relationship expert, said it best. "When you ask a woman what she wants in a partner, she describes another woman!"

This is the consequence of decades of belittling men and the attempt to dominate and control them from kindergarten onward. Satan hates God and His ways and is determined to destroy the image of God in humanity. God created us male and female. Satan is determined to undo that distinction. He is succeeding.

Isaiah 3:12 "Youths oppress My people, and women rule over them. O My people, your guides mislead you; they turn you from your paths." Sound familiar? Think Greta Thunburg and Kamala Harris. God's order is being reversed and Christians need to engage in spiritual warfare. It may be too late, but we have to try at least.

 

[wisebeardman]

what ever happened to mail order brides?