I Don't Want Kids, Sue Me

[nomnomnom]

This is unappealling to me for two reasons.

First of all, if someone says that they won't be a good parent, I interpret that as, "I am content with being irresponsible and not loving enough to care for a child." Anyone would be a good parent with some effort into self-improvement. To accept that you're ''not good enough'' at anything that is capable of obtaining, is really unattractive.

Secondly, this is unappealling because there are millions of children in the world who are orphans and need loving parents. As Christians, we're supposed to be filled with love thats ready to be poured out, imitate God in being a father to the fatherless, and be selfless/others-oriented. So if you just "can't be bothered" or prefer "peace and quiet," that means you're ok with receiving that at the expense of a child growing up without a family. And that to me is the epitome of selfishness. If your personal preferences are that much of a priority to you, I would also question the quality of your future marraige- with or without kids.

Also, when I say "you" I'm speaking to the general "you"- men who may feel this way. Not you, specifically, sub.

 

[Henry_YZ]

I think it's better to admit to not wanting kids than bringing them into this world without the care and love they deserve.

Plus, people usually change their minds with time. Not everyone will wanna have kids being so young. It's something that matures with time and we have to be mentally, finantially and emotionally ready for it.

 

[nanabean]

I think it's better to admit to not wanting kids than bringing them into this world without the care and love they deserve.

I agree with this......I really do! I was only piointing out that it's not WHAT he is saying, it is HOW he is saying it!!

Plus, people usually change their minds with time. Not everyone will wanna have kids being so young. It's something that matures with time and we have to be mentally, finantially and emotionally ready for it.

very true, and if that happens, it may be he will regret being so negative with his words then too.

 

[Strider]

Not having kids is fine, but with all things - examine your motives for doing so. As a side note also, it's important not to be one of those people who live absolutely for their kids, Christ died so we could in turn die and be reborn in him - live for Jesus. - "Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me" Matthew 10:37

 

[SubCruceSalus]

This is unappealling to me for two reasons.

First of all, if someone says that they won't be a good parent, I interpret that as, "I am content with being irresponsible and not loving enough to care for a child." Anyone would be a good parent with some effort into self-improvement. To accept that you're ''not good enough'' at anything that is capable of obtaining, is really unattractive.

Secondly, this is unappealling because there are millions of children in the world who are orphans and need loving parents. As Christians, we're supposed to be filled with love thats ready to be poured out, imitate God in being a father to the fatherless, and be selfless/others-oriented. So if you just "can't be bothered" or prefer "peace and quiet," that means you're ok with receiving that at the expense of a child growing up without a family. And that to me is the epitome of selfishness. If your personal preferences are that much of a priority to you, I would also question the quality of your future marraige- with or without kids.

Also, when I say "you" I'm speaking to the general "you"- men who may feel this way. Not you, specifically, sub.

Let me address this piece by piece.

1. Responsibility.

Not wanting kids from a standpoint of being afraid of being a bad parent does not equate to irresponsibility. Irresponsibility by its very definition means to "not take care of one's obligations", which if someone opts to not have kids, then taking care of children is not a responsibility an individual would have. The reason I'm afraid of being a bad parent is because the line of work I am fully planning on going into involves that the majority of my time is spent away (I plan on working in the physics field.) I have seen first hand how that having a father that is constantly working and being away from home (or worse, being occupied with work AT home) can breed a lot of resentment in a child. I won't allow the same to happen to any children I might have had by simply not having any to begin with. Children, for whatever reason, make me incredibly hostile and irritated. I don't know why that they make me so irritable but they do, and it would be far more irresponsible to have children feeling such than to acknowledge you're not a fan of having children and simply not having any.


2. Orphans/The Fatherless


Though my previous posts were admittedly harshly worded, it would be untrue to say that I am unconcerned with the needs of others, the hungry, needy, etc. I am fully in favour of taking care of those that can't take care of themselves. In fact one of the many things I'm looking forward to using a career in the physics field is hopefully making enough money so that I can effect positive change in people's lives, whether it's orphans or the hungry, anyone that is in need. I have known what it is like to be short on money and for things to look rather dire in regards to the basics. God has always provided exactly what I needed, but there have been times where there have been belts tightened. However that being said, let me say something further: my family adopted and brought into our home three sisters. The two oldest of the three tore our family apart. One took advantage of family friends, moved in with a guy that wasn't even interested in her, and pretty much was his warm body at night to sleep next to, then furthermore tried to get my little sister to run away from home. The second one ran away from home as result of 50 year old swine (whom she later married) putting lies in her head, lied and slandered in the community about my father, mother, my brother and remaining sisters, and actively tried to destroy my father's ministry in our church along with her cohort of scum "in-laws." I consider those two individuals that formerly I called "sisters" to be dead. As a result, I will not adopt; too many bad memories.


I hope this gives some insight into my previous posts. I know that I wouldn't be a good dad just as a wheelchair-bound paraplegic knows he wouldn't be the best at taking the steps two at a time.

 

[Hethr]

I really disagree with the opinion that every person is supposed to be a parent. The ability to be a good parent is a gift that not everybody has.
There are many other ways to be of use to and pleasing to God.

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

This is unappealling to me for two reasons.

First of all, if someone says that they won't be a good parent, I interpret that as, "I am content with being irresponsible and not loving enough to care for a child." Anyone would be a good parent with some effort into self-improvement. To accept that you're ''not good enough'' at anything that is capable of obtaining, is really unattractive.

Secondly, this is unappealling because there are millions of children in the world who are orphans and need loving parents. As Christians, we're supposed to be filled with love thats ready to be poured out, imitate God in being a father to the fatherless, and be selfless/others-oriented. So if you just "can't be bothered" or prefer "peace and quiet," that means you're ok with receiving that at the expense of a child growing up without a family. And that to me is the epitome of selfishness. If your personal preferences are that much of a priority to you, I would also question the quality of your future marraige- with or without kids.

Also, when I say "you" I'm speaking to the general "you"- men who may feel this way. Not you, specifically, sub.

Wow... i mean where do i even start...

You obviously dont have children, and if you do then you would very well know this. I got two of those little suckers so i got years of experience with this mess.

Not everyone has the patience or skill to deal wtih children. And believe me neither can be taught with this ''self improvement'' you speak of.

Everyone has different abilitys and things they are good and not good at. Having kids, or adopting kids is a HUGE HUGE THING, your responsible for bringing up little children into grown capable adults.
When there babys your waking up sometimes 7 and 8 times a night to screaming and crying cause there hungry. I tell you by about 4 am and having been up for almost 27 hours straight i was so tired i would just sit there and cry right along with my son...
This is not to mention if the child you have is sick a lot, or has some kind of special needs. You cant do what you want to do, you cant go where you wanna go. You have basically forfeited your life.

Not to mention money... Do you have any idea how much money it costs to raise a child, let alone adopt one! Even having your own natural child is crazy expensive.

Do you really think everyone is cut out for this?? You need to face reality here chick, most people cant handle it. You might not even be able to.

Are we supposed to love others, Heck yes! That is the greatest commandment. However loving others doesnt necessarily mean, let me get married and have a thousand kids, or adopt 50 of the one billion children that dont have homes.

Thats lovely that its unappealing and unattractive to you. Just like im sure your attitude and judgements are unattractive and unappealing most people.

If there are millions of children out there that need loving parents and good homes. Then why havent you adopted ten of them yet?????

Sub- I like that you recognize you dont want kids.

Also when i say ''you'' im speaking directly to YOU.

I have nothing else to say on the matter.

 

[SubCruceSalus]

You all are most likely going to laugh, but I had a bit of an epiphany when I was out walking around the mountains today. I got to thinking about how beautiful everything was; the sun was setting and making the granite on the mountain turn red, and set against the green of the hills it was breathtakingly (and admittedly a bit frighteningly) beautiful. I got to thinking about how that God could've chosen to make everything dull and unappealing, but instead He made everything in an unspeakably beautiful way, and gave us the ability to appreciate it. It takes a God of love to do that. I then got to thinking about how that God loved us enough to send Christ for our sorry hides. God the Father fully knew what hardships His Son would suffer, and Christ did as well, and they both knew the totality of what He would be suffering for. He suffered for a sinful and totally lost humanity that would offend countless times. Yet Christ was sent and Christ came and suffered more than anyone that has lived and became man for our sake. I got to thinking about how that my own attitude to having children didn't quite gel with that level of love, and that having examined my attitude that my attitude needed to change. I had taken the approach that children were disappointment incarnate, that they were totally without any pleasant attributes. Granted, no one is perfect, but if God had taken the same approach towards mankind, that because of our wretched state we were not worth his time or the blood of His Son, then we would still be lost and without hope. Indeed, we were not worthy of the blood of Christ through Adam's sin, yet because the Father took pity upon mankind, He assigned us worth, though we deserved it not. It is nothing that anyone does that purchases their pardon. Ephesians 2:8-10 reads like this:

"For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: [it is] the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them."

So my conclusion from all of the above is this: that children are given to whom the Father wills it, and kept from those that the Father wills it. Everyone that is born is born of a purpose, and that of God. Whether they are ordained of the Father to bring Him glory and to be sealed with the blood of Christ in eternity, or to to be sealed with damnation to everlasting torment. Nothing that I do will change what the Father has ordained, so I need not worry about how any possible children of mine might turn out. I shouldn't be against them or necessarily for them, but instead I should be open to whatever God wills for me in that regard. Not a bad way to end the day.

 

[Jullianna]

You all are most likely going to laugh, but I had a bit of an epiphany when I was out walking around the mountains today. I got to thinking about how beautiful everything was; the sun was setting and making the granite on the mountain turn red, and set against the green of the hills it was breathtakingly (and admittedly a bit frighteningly) beautiful. I got to thinking about how that God could've chosen to make everything dull and unappealing, but instead He made everything in an unspeakably beautiful way, and gave us the ability to appreciate it. It takes a God of love to do that. I then got to thinking about how that God loved us enough to send Christ for our sorry hides. God the Father fully knew what hardships His Son would suffer, and Christ did as well, and they both knew the totality of what He would be suffering for. He suffered for a sinful and totally lost humanity that would offend countless times. Yet Christ was sent and Christ came and suffered more than anyone that has lived and became man for our sake. I got to thinking about how that my own attitude to having children didn't quite gel with that level of love, and that having examined my attitude that my attitude needed to change. I had taken the approach that children were disappointment incarnate, that they were totally without any pleasant attributes. Granted, no one is perfect, but if God had taken the same approach towards mankind, that because of our wretched state we were not worth his time or the blood of His Son, then we would still be lost and without hope. Indeed, we were not worthy of the blood of Christ through Adam's sin, yet because the Father took pity upon mankind, He assigned us worth, though we deserved it not. It is nothing that anyone does that purchases their pardon. Ephesians 2:8-10 reads like this:

"For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: [it is] the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them."

So my conclusion from all of the above is this: that children are given to whom the Father wills it, and kept from those that the Father wills it. Everyone that is born is born of a purpose, and that of God. Whether they are ordained of the Father to bring Him glory and to be sealed with the blood of Christ in eternity, or to to be sealed with damnation to everlasting torment. Nothing that I do will change what the Father has ordained, so I need not worry about how any possible children of mine might turn out. I shouldn't be against them or necessarily for them, but instead I should be open to whatever God wills for me in that regard. Not a bad way to end the day.

Awesome....................................

 

[grace]

You all are most likely going to laugh, but I had a bit of an epiphany when I was out walking around the mountains today. I got to thinking about how beautiful everything was; the sun was setting and making the granite on the mountain turn red, and set against the green of the hills it was breathtakingly (and admittedly a bit frighteningly) beautiful. I got to thinking about how that God could've chosen to make everything dull and unappealing, but instead He made everything in an unspeakably beautiful way, and gave us the ability to appreciate it. It takes a God of love to do that. I then got to thinking about how that God loved us enough to send Christ for our sorry hides. God the Father fully knew what hardships His Son would suffer, and Christ did as well, and they both knew the totality of what He would be suffering for. He suffered for a sinful and totally lost humanity that would offend countless times. Yet Christ was sent and Christ came and suffered more than anyone that has lived and became man for our sake. I got to thinking about how that my own attitude to having children didn't quite gel with that level of love, and that having examined my attitude that my attitude needed to change. I had taken the approach that children were disappointment incarnate, that they were totally without any pleasant attributes. Granted, no one is perfect, but if God had taken the same approach towards mankind, that because of our wretched state we were not worth his time or the blood of His Son, then we would still be lost and without hope. Indeed, we were not worthy of the blood of Christ through Adam's sin, yet because the Father took pity upon mankind, He assigned us worth, though we deserved it not. It is nothing that anyone does that purchases their pardon. Ephesians 2:8-10 reads like this:

"For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: [it is] the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them."

So my conclusion from all of the above is this: that children are given to whom the Father wills it, and kept from those that the Father wills it. Everyone that is born is born of a purpose, and that of God. Whether they are ordained of the Father to bring Him glory and to be sealed with the blood of Christ in eternity, or to to be sealed with damnation to everlasting torment. Nothing that I do will change what the Father has ordained, so I need not worry about how any possible children of mine might turn out. I shouldn't be against them or necessarily for them, but instead I should be open to whatever God wills for me in that regard. Not a bad way to end the day.

That was some walk in the mountains! Amen!

 

[Hethr]

Nicely said SubCruceSalus

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

i saw a mountain once

 

[Brandon777]

"

So my conclusion from all of the above is this: that children are given to whom the Father wills it, and kept from those that the Father wills it. Everyone that is born is born of a purpose, and that of God. Whether they are ordained of the Father to bring Him glory and to be sealed with the blood of Christ in eternity, or to to be sealed with damnation to everlasting torment. Nothing that I do will change what the Father has ordained, so I need not worry about how any possible children of mine might turn out. I shouldn't be against them or necessarily for them, but instead I should be open to whatever God wills for me in that regard. Not a bad way to end the day.

I agree, and I'll give you two Bible supports for our conclusion. Way back in Genesis 1 God had something to say about mankind. "So God blessed them and said, 'Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion..." To me this says, have children. It's not like God said that much to mankind, yet the first things He said was, fill it up guys. Multiply! And second, you said everyone was born for a purpose even those destined for the lake of fire, well you were right on the money. Here's what Proverbs 16:4 declairs: "Yahweh has made everything for its own end-- yes, even the wicked for the day of evil.

 

[Jullianna]

i saw a mountain once

hahahahahahahahaha!

 

[el]

There you go Subs! You can go built a house up the mountain and enjoy your fam with kids! And btw, I love walking in the woods/mountains too! It is so relaxing and gives lotsa time to think/reflect/meditate... But back to the topic...I am not gonna sue you, but kids are awesome! And that's all I gotta say!
Peace!

 

[David_1]

Sex, reproduction.

You are thinking too much, you are doing it wrong.

The couples I know that have had kids, didn't think about it, it just happened as a natural consequence of getting it on.

No one is prepared for parenthood.

The world has always been messed up.

 

[becky1984]

I think this is a interesting post. I'm someone who doesn't want kids either. I have a lot of illnesses in my family that are heretary that can be passed on and wouldn't want my kids to get it. Lupus, kidney disease, Raynauds syndrome and different allergies run in my family. I like kids but I have no desire to have kids at all.

 

[Tintin]

Just wanted some insight here; apparently I'm some kind of heartless somebody because I don't want kids, ever. Kids are a huge hassle that I don't want to deal with, they usually grow up to be disappointments, and above all of that I wouldn't want me to be responsible for bringing yet another human being into this awful world we've got. They also cut in greatly on the intimacy between the husband and wife when it's just the two of them and not a bunch of pitter-pattering feet running around. Also I'm not too sure I'd be the best of dads, and given that I like a good deal of peace and quiet (and considering all the other reasons I mentioned above) NOT having kids is a no-brainer. So what about that makes me heartless or cold? I've talked about this quite a number of times with girls I know and they all are gung-ho about having kids when they get married. I don't think they quite understand what it's like. I've seen it time and time again with women that want kids: they finally get married, then they get pregnant and all the subsequent "oh how beautiful she looks when she's pregnant" nonsense, then she actually has the kid and the proverbial puppy that she's always wanted suddenly ain't as fun as what she thought it was. Then there's the mutual getting woken up at zero dark thirty in the morning by screaming, teething offspring and NOT getting back to sleep again until about the time that you have to get going about the day, and all for what? What is the point of having kids? Is it for the personal enjoyment of watching them grow and develop into whatever they become? If that's the reason, then I would suggest that any woman wanting to have kids get a houseplant instead. They don't wet their diaper, stay out late or get into trouble at school, and if they start to get out of hand, you either prune them or throw them out all together. It's a win-win.

With an attitude like that, I wouldn't want you to have kids either. At the end of the day, it's your choice but you don't have to be a donkey about it.

 

[FireWire]

Well I'll be...

Responded to this nearly three years ago and my attitude hasn't changed. Nowhere near having children or getting married and not dating. My destiny is set.

 

[biscuit]

Let's face it: wanting children is one thing but effectively raising them for 21 years is another thing. Not all parents are cut out to be effective parents. It takes two to tango and it takes two to rear children into quality adults. Just take a long look at these kids today, they have virtual no guidance from parents. Many of these parents are too busy feeling sorry for themselves to raise children properly. Most parents-to-be or parents have poor to fair skills in rearing children. Take it from a former counselor who had caseloads of children from parents who didn't want their kids; unable to manage and control kids; kids taken away because of neglect & child abuse. What is the key element missing in these households? It is L-O-V-E.